Chapter 21

"Hm, look at that..." Patrick chuckled humorlessly when Daryl entered his apartment the next day. "Good to see you're still among the living. Was about to file a missing persons report."

"Yeah... 'm sorry 'bout that..." Daryl trailed off as he looked around. The place was a mess. Empty bottles of booze, pizza boxes and boxes from other take-out places were littering the floor and part of the sofa. "Shit man..."

"That's right... shit man... Take a good look around, D! This is what it looks like when the woman you love breaks your heart." Patrick muttered before he lifted his beer bottle back to his lips and focused back on the TV.

"I brought ya something... Bay cooked some pot roast for lunch..." he showed Pat the tupperware container that contained some slices of meat, roasted potatoes and carrots and gravy. "It's good..." he murmured as he put it on the small coffee table, which was also full of trash. He felt kind of silly to bring his best friend food in a tupperware container, but Bay had insisted.

Patrick started laughing quietly. "Bay made a pot roast for lunch? On a Sunday? Let me guess, she went to church, came home and marched right into the kitchen in her pretty dress. Putting on an apron and preparing a Sunday feast? What are you guys, fresh out of Pleasantville or something? She make ya dress up for meals? Sit down in a monkey suit and say a little prayer?"

"I know you're pissed, and you're right to be, but keep Bay outta this. She ain't done nothing wrong. This is on me."

"Yeah, yeah... so whaddaya want now?"

"I'm sorry. For bein' a shitty friend. I didn't know 'bout you and yer girl... If I had known... What happened?"

"She decided I took up too much of her time and attention and that I wasn't supportive enough. She needed to focus on her family now... I was there for her. You know I was. I wanted to help her. Fuck man, I offered to help them move into their new place, get them settled in. Do anything to help out and then she tells me I wasn't supportive enough? The fuck is up with that?" Patrick let out an angry snort. He was still dumbfounded over the whole thing.

"I ain't no expert, but maybe she's just scared?" Daryl offered after a moment of silence. He was comparing Jessa to Bay a little. Bay was afraid of love and getting hurt. Now after her parents' ugly divorce, he could imagine Jessa might feel the same way and ended things before Patrick would hurt her and not the other way around. "She sees her momma fallin' apart 'cause of this and she wants to keep it from happening to herself? Maybe y'all are gonna work it out after a while..."

"Whose fucking side are you on, man?" Patrick looked at him incredulously. "Fuck, dude... didn't ask for your opinion anyway. What? You been taking shrink lessons from your girl? Just leave me alone. Don't need your pity. Ya didn't care 'bout whether I lived or died for almost what? Over six months now? Ever since you guys got together... Ya know, I was real happy for you guys, but that was before y'all abandoned all of us. You think you're better than us with your nice jobs and your pot roasts and shit?"

Daryl sighed and gave up. Pat was halfway drunk and just like Daryl, he wasn't the nicest person when he was intoxicated. He got up and walked towards the door. "Just eat something, alright? I'll be back soon."

"Whatever..." Patrick waved him off and slid down deeper in his recliner. Daryl took one last look at him, feeling shitty for having neglected his friend for so long and vowing to himself to keep trying to make it up to him, before he left.

4 weeks later

Merle felt his head throbbing something awful when he slowly came to. He tried to blink open heavy eyelids, while he also tried to roll over in bed, trying to hide himself from what he assumed to be the blaring Georgia sunlight. He froze when he found himself unable to move. His bleary eyes snapped open at that and he looked around in confusion. The fuck? This ain't mah room...

"Ah, welcome Mr. Dixon. Glad you finally decided to join us in the world of the conscious." the cheery voice gave him chills and it made the little hairs on his arms stand up. Merle finally regained full consciousness and he realized that he really wasn't in that little motel room he had checked into two days ago. He was in what appeared to be an old and dingy warehouse and for the first time since childhood fear gripped at him, when he noticed which warehouse exactly he was currently in... and tied to a fucking chair at that.

"Gonzalez..." Merle snarled, finally recognizing the boss of the local Meth Mafia. He knew he was in deep shit.

"We've been looking for you for a long time, Merle. You are very good at hiding yourself." the man in the ridiculous white suit with shoulder pads, and gold chains said conversationally. It was the truth, they had been looking for Merle for a month, trying to track him down over and over again unsuccessfully. They had observed Daryl as well, seeing if he would lead them to his brother, but the guy didn't seem to make an effort to look for Merle at all. He went to work, then home and back to work in the morning. Still, they had come very close to bringing him in and ask him some questions, but a lucky break had made them find Merle after all. "You almost got away, Merle... If it wouldn't have been for that pesky addiction of yours that made you pop back up on the radar."

"What can I say? You Mexicans make some good shit..." Merle grinned, but on the inside he felt ice cold panic grab him. He was a dead man, he was sure of it. He would finally pay for his own stupidity. All he could do was hope that it would be relatively quick.

"Apparently..." Gonzalez agreed, his expression turning hard. "After all, you've been stealing from us for a while... Our buyers haven't been receiving their full orders for months. Which brings me to why we are here today... You owe about $15,000 in product, Mr. Dixon. And from one business man to another, you know that I have to insist on you paying us back for what you took from us.

"Ha! Well ya can forget about that!" Merle actually had to laugh at that. "Ain't no way I'm comin' up with that money!"

"Oh trust me, you will come up with that money. Allow me to provide some motivation." Gonzalez grinned evilly and snapped his fingers once. A man came walking up from behind Merle and stood to his right side. Merle eyed him suspiciously, trying to gauge what was going to happen and fully expecting him to pull a gun and shoot him in the kneecap or something like that. The man wasn't holding a gun though... Upon a nod from Gonzalez, the man produced a pair of pruning shears from his back pocket. Merle's heart started beating a lot faster and his breathing picked up as he started squirming in his chair.

"Hey now... whatchu want with those? Get away from me you fucking bastard. Oh no you don't..." he bellowed as the guy bend down and brought the shears closer. Merle's wrists were tied to the arms of the chair, immobilizing him and making him unable to pull away from what was coming. His words fell on deaf ears and the guy proceeded to take hold of Merle's pinky finger, spreading it away from the other fingers and bringing the shears to the base of that finger. "Shit man, I'll get you yer money, alright, I'll get you your fucking money, just let me go an- AHHHHHHH FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" Merle screamed in agony when the blades of the shears cut through skin, flesh and bones, brutally removing his pinky finger from his hand.

Gonzalez came to stand right in front of him and crouched down to look Merle right in the face, making sure the man would hear every word over his harsh, pained breathing. "Consider this your warning, Merle. You have 48 hours to get me my money. If you try anything funny, the next time we see each other, your brother will be in the chair next to you, and I will take more than just a useless finger from him. If you are still unwilling to repay us after that, his pretty little girlfriend is next. Bayanne was her name, right? Pretty name, beautiful girl... It would be such a shame to mess up that face of hers..."

"You don't touch 'em!" Merle's pain turned to anger. Nobody threatened to hurt his little brother. "I'll get you yer damn money, but you don't touch 'em."

"That's entirely up to you, Merle. I'll see you back here in 48 hours. No funny shit, Mr. Dixon, or you and your lovely family will pay." Gonzalez gave him one more eerily happy grin, before he signaled for his henchmen to cut Merle loose and let him leave. "48 hours!" he shouted after Merle who was scrambling to get out of there, holding his right hand elevated in an attempt not to bleed out. He ran straight back to his apartment which he had left a couple of weeks ago to take care of his wounds and to come up with a plan. Fortunately for him, it didn't take long for him to know how he would get out of this trouble.

"I think I'll cancel that doctor's appointment this afternoon." Bay murmured with a tired voice as she and Daryl got ready for work in the morning. She had finally made an appointment with a gynecologist to get checked out and to get some birth control pills, because the condoms really turned out to be expensive if you used up to three a day. But now she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to add to that by having to endure that stupid exam on her privates.

"No you don't. It's important, Bay. I told you I can come with you..."

"No, I don't want that. Believe it or not, but you would make me even more nervous. And I don't want you to have to get off work early. Bad enough that I had to give up a shift at Shoney's today so I can go. Now I'm thinking I should just skip the appointment and lay down, though."

"Why? What's wrong?" Daryl asked concerned when he saw her face scrunch up in pain.

"I have a tummy ache. I think those fish tacos weren't a good idea." she lamented while she rubbed her belly.

"I had those, too and I feel fine." Daryl frowned. "They have other doctors in that building, right? Just go get that checked out after your appointment with the lady doc."

"Yeah,... maybe." Two doctors in one day? That was hell in Bay's opinion. Maybe she would just get some peptobismol after the 'lady doc'.

"Come on, get your coat and I'll drive you to work. Don't need you walking there if ya don't feel good." he smiled gently and kissed her temple while he guided her in the direction of the closet.

"Thanks." she went over there and got out her black coat and a black beanie and put them on. Daryl watched her with a smile and when she was done, he pulled her closer and gave her a big gentle kiss on the lips.

"Love ya." he smiled quietly while he nuzzled her nose with his.

"Love you, too." she returned his smile and leaned up to get another kiss before they left the apartment hand in hand.

Daryl drove her to the store and kissed her several times while he told her to call him at work if she still didn't feel better in the afternoon and needed a ride home. Bay promised to do so and kissed him one last time before she got out of the truck and unlocked the store, while Daryl took off to his own place of work.

Picking the lock had been kid's play to Merle. He had been breaking and entering for years, there was nary a lock, that he wasn't able to get open. He stepped into the apartment and quickly shut the door behind him, before any of the neighbors would step out into the hall. He pocketed his instruments and let his gaze sweep around the place.

"Now... if I were a bag of money... where would I hide?" he mused out loud before he strode into the little kitchen, deciding to start looking in every cabinet. Yeah, Merle had figured out quickly how to get out of this particular pickle he had found himself in. Once he had tended to his wound, he had remembered how Daryl had told him about Bay's plans for college and about how she didn't trust no bank and kept the money hidden in her apartment. According to Daryl's info, Bay must have been saving up for about one and a half years now. With having two jobs and not spending much, she had to have 15,000 dollars and more. Enough to pay off Gonzalez and then get the hell out of this town and start over somewhere else with his little brother. Merle didn't trust the Mexicans to leave him or Daryl alone after they had gotten their money, so he had decided to grab his brother and get out of Dalton right after he had paid his dues. Was it right to take Bay's hard-earned money and make her start over? No, it wasn't, but hey, he was saving her ass with this, too, so the least she could do is contribute. She wanted Daryl safe and well off, too, right? She was young, she could wait another two years until college. He didn't feel too bad for leaving her with nothing. A little maybe, but to him it was more important to save his own skin... and Daryl's, of course.

Merle turned the place upside down, throwing everything to the floor, leaving the cabinet doors open, stepping on and breaking things, not caring that he was leaving a mess. He was in a hurry, there was still lots to be done today. He checked every nook and cranny, but came up empty. He sat down on the edge of the sofa bed and lit a cigarette, while he pondered where else to look. It had to be inside the apartment, he just knew it.

While he sat there and smoked he hung his head and looked at the floor. Suddenly he noticed something. An indentation in the old carpet. He squinted at it for a moment, then he got up and grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled it until one of the bed's legs fit right into that indentation. The bed had been shifted recently. Merle pushed on the bed again, moving the leg out of the indentation and his ears picked up a small noise coming from the wall. A slow grin spread out on his face while he walked up to the wall and crouched down, looking into the small gap that was now between the back of the sofa and the wall. "And Bingo was his name... ha,... hello bag of money. I been looking for ya." Merle put the duffel bag on the bed and opened the zipper, eager to count his bounty. "Ha! Ha ha... ha... oh man..." he laughed happily as he counted roughly 30,000 dollars. And he'd only have to pay the Mexicans half of that. The other half would be great starting money for him and Daryl.

Daryl... that reminded him of his real problem. How was he going to get his brother to come with him and leave his girl behind? Maybe he should just clobber him over the head and drag him to the truck? Nah, he'd just have to talk some sense into his little brother. Make sure he understands that his girl would be in danger with him around. She was better off without any Dixons in her life. He'd have to make Daryl see that.

Merle got up and zipped up the duffel bag and parked it by the door .Next he grabbed a plastic bag out of the mess he had made all around the apartment and went to the closet and got out all of Daryl's stuff he could find and threw it into the bag in his hand. He took everything of Daryl's he was able to see and recognize and stuffed the bag to capacity. When he was done he walked over to the door and took another look around. "Sorry Miss Bayanne,... it's better for all of us this way." he muttered, before he left the apartment with both bags, pulling the door shut behind him, and took off towards the warehouse where he had lost his finger the previous night. Time to pay up and then leave without a trace.

Daryl knew bad things were going to happen when his boss told him that his brother was there to see him right before lunch, he just didn't anticipate how bad things were going to be from now on. It didn't take long for Daryl to take notice of Merle's agitated state and the blood soaked bandage around his hand.

"Shit... Merle! The fuck happened to you? Where the hell were you the past month?"

"Had to hide out from the Mexicans. They found me and they did this! Took my finger clean off." Merle lifted his bandaged hand before he took a step closer to his little brother. "Listen to me. We gotta leave! Now!"

"I'm working, Merle! And the fuck do I have to do with your fucking problems?" Daryl's temper flared up and he had trouble keeping his voice down. It's been a while since he'd had to deal with Merle's shit and he would have loved to do without it for the rest of his life.

"You ain't listening to me. The damn Mexicans are after me... after us. We gotta skip town, baby bro. Lay low. I ain't kiddin'. Shit, they did this to me without hesitation, whatchu think they're gonna do when I don't pay up, man?"

"You're outta your damn mind, Merle. I ain't going nowhere!"

"Don't you get it? They threatened to do the same to you, Daryl!"

Daryl ran his hands through his hair and started pacing in agitation. "Fuck! Why ya always gotta do this? Ya always gotta get us in trouble! You and your fucking addiction!"

"Yeah, yeah I know, it ruins my life. Now come on. Those guys aren't joking around! We gotta go now and we don't tell no one." Merle implored him, but Daryl was already shaking his head.

"They aren't gonna get me!"

"Are ya kiddin'? I have years more experience at hiding out and dealing with this shit and they got me! They took my damn finger off, Daryl! They are gonna do even worse to you and once they find out about your sweet little girlfriend, well... imagine what they will do to her! And they'll make us both watch while they do it. Now stop yapping and fucking come with me! How often do I have to say this, I ain't fucking kidding!" Merle grabbed the material of Daryl's shirt in his good fist and dragged him towards the exit. Daryl stumbled behind him, his mind racing and fear running through his veins at the thought of something happening to Bay.

"No one's touching Bay. If they do that, I'll kill them all." Daryl mumbled, making Merle laugh.

"You won't do nothing, cause you'll be fucking tied to a chair with missing limbs, baby bro."

"We gotta get her. She's at the store!" Daryl looked at Merle frantically. "I gotta call ahead, tell her to lock up and wait for us."

"Nah, she ain't comin'." Merle stated decisively while he waited for Daryl to unlock the truck.

"What?" Daryl froze in his tracks and stared at Merle with wide eyes. "If I'm coming, then she's coming. I ain't going nowhere without her. I ain't leaving her behind. What if those guys find her?"

"They don't know 'bout her! Yet!" Merle lied through his teeth, trying everything to get Daryl to come with him and leave his girlfriend in Dalton. "She's safer without you, Daryl."

"No!" Daryl shook his head vehemently as panic flooded him. "NO!" he shouted at Merle, who proceeded to grab Daryl's shirt again and slam him against the side of the truck bed.

"Yes! Listen, I know this sucks for ya, and I'm sorry, I really am, but if that girl means anythin' to you... anythin' at all, then ya keep her safe. And she ain't safe with us around. She just ain't Daryl. Don't you get that? Yeah, it'll hurt both of ya, but you gotta do the right thing. You wanna save her life, you gotta come with me."

"She can come with us. I can keep her safe when she's with us!" Daryl's eyes filled with tears, his voice pleading with Merle, but his older brother was shaking his head resolutely.

"She's got plans. You know she does. She's gonna go off to college soon, be some damn doctor. We both know there ain't no place for you in those plans. You know it, you know she's gonna dump your ass as soon as she's on her way to become someone. Don't even deny it, baby brother or I'll kick yer teeth in for lying to me." Merle shoved him harder against the truck to prove his point and kept imploring him. "Ya wanna do right by her, you do this now. You leave her to live her life safely and happily ever fucking after, and come with me. Maybe in a couple of months you can come back, see if she still wants ya once things settle down, but now we gotta go and get the hell outta dodge."

Daryl was shaking and he was barely able to keep the tears from falling. Merle would be lying if he said that it didn't affect him to see his brother hurting, but he was convinced that this was the best course of action for them all. "Let me at least say goodbye. Tell her what's going on."

"We can't. The less she knows the better."

"She's gonna hate me."

"Good. It means she'll at least be alive. Now get in the damn truck Daryl, before those assholes find us. Gimme the keys." Merle held out his hand after letting Daryl go and finally he saw Daryl's shoulders slump and his head bow down. Daryl had admitted defeat and was submitting to his older brother once more. Good boy. Merle thought with a smug grin as Daryl slapped the keys to the truck into his hand. He would drive them out of town himself, not trusting Daryl not to go by the store and warn Bayanne.

Daryl climbed into the truck wordlessly and fell into some kind of shock. He was staring at the floorboard, tears clouding his vision, as his world crashed down all around him. Merle kept talking, but Daryl was unresponsive. He only saw Bay. The girl he loved and who would now hate him forever, but if that was the price he had to pay to keep her safe, then so be it. If it only wouldn't hurt so much.

He was gone.

After three days Bay had absolute certainty that Daryl was gone and wouldn't return. She had still had hope even after she had found all of his stuff gone from her apartment. She had tracked down every one of his friends, asking if they knew where he was, but everyone was just as surprised as she had been when she had come home to the mess in her apartment. Nobody knew where he was. Everyone was apologetic, like that would help any.

He had left her. It had all been a game. Just a ploy to steal her money. He had wormed his way into her heart, playing her like a fiddle until she had given him everything, absolutely everything. Her home, her care, her love, her virginity... herself. She had dared to let him into her heart, she had dared to tell him that she loved him and now, just a month later, he was gone. With her money. She had nothing left. He had taken everything from her. She hadn't been kidding when she had told him she wouldn't be able to live with him. She was no longer functioning. Everything hurt and she was in hell. She wasn't angry at him. Not yet. Right now she was angry at herself for having been so foolish. But she had believed him. He was an amazing actor. His performance had been incredibly and absolutely believable straight up until he had dropped her off at work this morning. But why now? Why was he leaving now? Why not right at the beginning? As soon as he had access to her apartment? Was stealing her money not enough? Did he have to strip her bare of everything? Did he take sadistic pleasure in making her fall in love with him and then leave her completely and utterly devastated?

He really had taken everything. With her money gone, he had also taken her dreams and the ability to take care of herself. It had taken her one and a half years to raise close to 30,000 dollars. One and a half years of time lost, of hard work lost. There was no way that she had the strength to start over again, and not under these circumstances... And without him by her side to help her... Three days and she felt like she was dying without him. Even though he had betrayed her, she missed him. She missed his face, his beautiful blue eyes, that gorgeous smile, those unbelievably soft lips, his strong hands... Laying in this bed they had shared was hell. All those memories flooded her, making her hurt even more. It was unbearable. She had no idea how to get through this. The deaths of her family, she had been able to work through, but this? No. This was an entirely different thing. Daryl had planned this. She had begged him not to hurt her and he hadn't listened. He had broken his promise. He had chosen to do this to her and she had, albeit unknowingly, let him do this to her. Enough was enough. There was only so much a young woman was able to take. Daryl Dixon had broken her. She was done.

3 months later

He had been the biggest idiot on God's green Earth. Once again he had let his brother dictate his life, had let Merle talk him into leaving his life behind, leaving his love behind. It had been the biggest mistake of his young life. Bay had begged him not to listen to Merle, and he had promised not to, but yet he had. He had failed Bay big time. She would hate him with all she had, and rightfully so, but it wouldn't stop Daryl from begging and groveling at her feet for weeks or even months, asking her for her forgiveness. He would explain the whole thing, that he'd only had her safety in mind and that Merle had made it sound like she would be in grave danger if he would stay living with her. Daryl had believed him. The guy was missing a finger after all, but pretty soon Merle started living it up again, not caring where Daryl ended up while he went on his binges.

Now Merle was in jail. They had busted him and his new group of tweaker friends and with his track record, he had been in the big house faster than he could blink. Free of Merle's influence Daryl had grabbed his stuff and had decided to go see Bay. He was determined to be with her, no matter how long it would take for her to forgive him. The shit with the Mexicans should have died down by now, and even if there would be any sign of danger, he would grab Bay and they would go away together. She could waitress and manage a shop and go to college in other towns, she wasn't stuck in Dalton. They would be able to make it work, he was sure of it. They loved each other, surely a little bit of that still had to be inside of her for him to bring back out and kill the hate that she surely felt for him right now.

He was giddy and nervous when he turned his truck onto her street... their street, and parked in front of their building. He couldn't wait to see her, even if she would yell at him, it would be the best thing to happen to him in months. He still had the key, so he let himself into the building and lept up the stairs. It was almost ten at night, she should be home from her shift at the restaurant by now. Daryl walked up to the door and took a long and deep breath before he knocked on the door. He felt like his heart had stopped beating and he held his breath when he heard footsteps nearing the door from the inside. He chewed his bottom lip nervously and looked up from underneath his too long bangs when the door finally opened, anxious and excited to see the look on her face... except that it wasn't Bay who was opening the door. It was a guy, about Daryl's age, he guessed.

"Who the fuck are you?" Daryl scowled, feeling jealousy flush through his system.

"You knocked on my door, so who the fuck are you?" The guy asked Daryl with a frown.

"Where's Bay?"

"Bay what?" The guy was utterly confused and downright alarmed when Daryl tried to push past him.

"BAY? BAY?" he yelled into the apartment, trying to get in, but the other guy shoved him back out.

"Hey, what the fuck dude? Ain't no Bay living here, man!"

Daryl realized that the guy was right, after he had caught a glimpse of the interior. It wasn't Bay's stuff. She didn't live here anymore. The realization made Daryl back off, a confused expression on his face. "Sorry... I thought... sorry..." Daryl stammered before he quickly left the building before anyone would call the cops on him. Fuck... How am I gonna find her now? He had an idea of what to try next, but it wouldn't be very pleasant at all. He would drive down to the Wal-Mart parking lot and asked his former friends in case anyone was around. The next option would be to go to Pat's and ask him. And beg him for forgiveness as well. Fucking Merle. Got me into this mess. Got a lot of apologizin' to do because of him. Always ruins everything. Hope he never get out...

Daryl was dreading seeing his former friends. He wasn't in the mood to explain anything to him, he just wanted to find Bay and explain everything to her, but in order to do that, it looked like he would have to go through them. His stomach cramped when he saw them. Nothing had changed there, they still hung out in the usual spot. The group, of course, immediately recognized the blue truck that was pulling into the parking lot and it sure had a lot of jaws dropping.

"Daryl?" Patrick was stunned as he watched the truck approach. "You gotta be kidding me..."

Daryl stopped the car a couple of feet away from the group. He wasn't ready to face all of them. He hoped that he would somehow get Pat to come over and talk to him alone. Thankfully for Daryl, Pat had the same idea and came walking towards him, motioning for the others to stay put, but their curious eyes stayed trained on the two men.

"Hey..." Daryl mumbled shyly as he got out of the truck.

"Hey? That's all ya got to say?" Patrick scoffed quietly. He didn't know what had happened, but he was deeply disappointed in Daryl for what he did. "Left without a trace, stayed gone for three months and now ya got the nerve to show up here and say hey? The fuck, dude? Where were you? Why the hell did ya leave?"

"I can explain. I will, I promise, but I gotta find Bay first. Gotta talk to her and explain to her what happened. She ain't livin' at her apartment anymore. She move? Ya know where she's at? Does Erin know?" The questions shot out of Daryl in quick succession and he got a weird feeling when he noticed Pat's expression change. "What?"

"She's gone, D..." Patrick had paled and carefully watched Daryl's reaction.

Daryl's brows knit in confusion. "Gone? She leave town, too?" If that was the case he was fucked. He wouldn't have the first clue where to start looking, unless she had told anyone where she might have gone.

"No." Patrick replied and cleared his throat awkwardly. "She's dead, D. She died. About two months ago."

Daryl's back hit the truck a couple of seconds later. His knees had given out when the words had sunken in. "No..." he breathed almost inaudibly. "She can't... no... that ain't possible." Suddenly Merle's words came back to him. The Mexicans... "She get killed?" Daryl croaked out when tears stung his eyes.

"No. She ended it herself." Patrick explained, his own voice wavering. "They found her things on Murray Bridge... Blood, too... She jumped, Daryl."

"Love scares me, because everyone I ever loved has left me Daryl. I'm scared of you leaving, too. It would destroy me. I was able to take the others leaving, but I wouldn't ever be able to take you leaving me. I'm scared that if I say it out loud, that it becomes very, very real and that history will repeat itself" Daryl heard Bay's words inside his head clear as day. He had promised her that he would never leave her. He had broken his promise. He had destroyed her. She had taken her own life, because he had left and she hadn't been able to go on without him.

"Daryl?" Patrick tried to get his attention. He managed to snap Daryl out of it, but he wouldn't get any answers to his questions. "What happened? What in the world made ya leave her, bro?"

Daryl didn't reply. He had to get out of there. He needed to be alone. Without another word he climbed back into his truck and started the engine and backed out of the parking lot.

"Daryl! Wait! Where are you going?" Pat shouted after him, but he knew it was of no use. His heart ached for Daryl, but at the same time he didn't get too invested. Seemed like Daryl was on the go once again and he was sure that now, when his main reason to stick around was dead, he would leave and probably never show his face around these parts of the country again.

It had hurt to lose his best friend and he had been sad about Bay dying as well, but he'd had enough time to make peace with it. He'd lost Daryl a long time ago, even before he'd skipped town. No use in dwelling on things that had happened in the past. It would be the best thing for Daryl to leave and not come back. Nobody liked him much anymore after abandoning them and ultimately even abandoning Bay and destroying her life. They had moved on.

Daryl raced out of town, not caring about breaking the speed limit. He just needed to get out of there. Without realizing that he had gone there, Daryl left the road and stopped on a field outside of town. It was the meadow where they had shared their very first kiss after her first shooting practice.

That's where he crumbled. He walked away from the truck a couple of feet before the tears finally spilled out of his eyes, the first sob following a split-second after. Daryl fell to his knees and broke down. Crying and screaming out his grief and desperation, pleading with God to have Patrick be wrong and to let her magically appear in front of him. Mixed in with his sorrow was anger. Anger at her for following in her parents' footsteps and taking her damn life, anger at her not having waited for him, as unreasonable as it was for him to be angry at that, he still felt it.

"You stupid girl... I left so you would be safe. I hurt us both to keep ya safe. Bay... Baaaaay... " he whined out her name as sobs wracked his shoulders and he felt like his heart was disintegrating. He clutched at his chest, the tattoo of her name felt like it was burning painfully. It was even worse than he had felt when he had left town with Merle. At least then he'd had hope to maybe see her again one day. Now that hope was dead, just like she was.

Daryl let his whole body drop to the ground, not caring about living or dying in that moment. He didn't know how long he laid there in the dark, crying over the loss of the love of his life, but it must have been hours. He was stiff and freezing when the sun came up and he finally got up to get back in his truck. He pulled the truck back on the road and went back to Monroe, where his brother was incarcerated. There was nothing left for him in Dalton. At least in Monroe he had family left, as shitty as that family might be. The tears however didn't stop falling.

He didn't know it then, but Daryl would mourn and also curse Bay for years to come, and in those years he would never be the same man he'd once been. There was nothing positive in his life anymore, only shame and anger.

Don't freak out too much;-) I said they'd be together in the ZA and I wasn't lying. Have faith.

Thank you for reading and all your support. Feel free to tell me what you think.

Lots of thanks and love to the reviewers:

DarylDixon'sLover

wabi-sabi1090

Nurse jean

KaneCenaZombie12

Leyshla Gisel

snowbird

redangel2463

cemmia

Sammibaby

bnburke90

UndeadMama

mamareadstomuch2

crossingRUBYcon