You're not home yet.
You messaged me a while ago telling me you had a surprise for me and that you'd be home soon. But still no surprise, no you.
You've been gone all day. You kissed me this morning before flying out the door to meet with your manager.
It's been a crazy few weeks for us. We just got back from LA after I wrapped up on CelebDance and you're getting back in your routine here and I've been busy catching up with the company. We've both missed a lot. But, I wish we had some time off. It's been go go go for both of us for the past few months.
Which is wonderful and I wouldn't trade the success and the work for anything.
But, baby, we need a vacation.
I just miss you.
Us.
I hear the front door open just as I'm trying to figure out what I can make for dinner from the contents of the fridge and decide to meet you and greet you with a kiss.
You call my name and I feel my heart swoop.
My heart hasn't stopped swooping yet from you.
I know it never will.
"Britt?"
"Kitchen! Hold on I'm coming!"
You're standing by the door looking at me expectantly, and it takes me a second before I notice…
"Oh my god, baby, your hair!"
"Do you like it?"
I try to hold back the grimace. I never pictured you blonde.
"It's… different. Wait, is this the surprise?"
"Uh, yeah." You don't look pleased.
Baby you should have warned me. This… this is a big change.
I step closer to you, you're not happy with me.
"Give me a minute, S."
"Why do you need a minute?"
"Well…. this is new for me."
"Me too."
"Ok."
"Ok what?"
"Just ok. Whatever makes you happy, San."
"It's not for me."
Your statement confuses me, and so does the slight waver I hear in your voice.
"Um…are you gonna clue me in?"
"Well….remember when I was out all day last week?"
"Yes. I remember you crawling into bed at 1 AM smelling like alcohol and kissing me silly after being gone." I smile. That was a fun night for us.
Those nights are always fun.
I reach out and touch your arm. I haven't touched you all day, really. It's amazing how much I miss it.
And you need soothing.
I watch your shoulders drop with my touch.
I love that I have that effect on you.
"Mmm...I thought you might remember that night. Well…. I was actually out auditioning for the new Rob Marshall movie."
"What?!"
"Yeah. His people called and wanted me to come in and read. It was so out of the blue."
"Santana, why didn't you say anything!? This is amazing!"
"I didn't want to burst the bubble or jinx it. I didn't know if it was a real offer or not."
Your smile is so bright and your eyes are so clear, I pull you into my arms and I feel the weight of you there.
"Babe, this is awesome! What happened?! Wait, is that where you were today?"
"Yeah… well I had to go back in and read again for them today. But… I dyed my hair before that. I wanted to show them I was serious about it."
"Did you get it?"
You look down at your feet, bashful, and my heart falls. I pull you back into my arms not wanting you to feel so weighed down by sadness.
"Oh, San…"
"Britt, I totally got the part…"
"Santana Marisol! Why do you keep teasing me today!? I'm already behind the times!"
You laugh loud and clear and pull me into you.
I kiss the smile on your lips and let myself ooze into you.
I am so proud of you and so happy for you.
And I wish you would have clued me in sooner.
"Holy fuck, Rob Marshall though! San!"
"I know!"
You grab my hands and jump up and down a little bit. The excitement radiating off of you.
"Baby, why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have helped you get ready…"
"I wanted to, Britt. I really did. But I didn't know what to expect and I wanted to surprise you. I didn't really think I'd get it…. and then once I saw the scene they wanted me to read I couldn't tell anyone. They're being kind of secretive about this one… I had to sing for them today."
You are such a worrier, Santana. You always have been. It's adorable and frustrating.
I kiss you. Again and again and again.
You wrap your arms around my waist and keep me close.
"I never really thought this would be something I'd want, but now that I've gone through it I'm really excited about it."
"I think that it suits you really well, San. And if there's singing involved… I mean… you're gonna be great."
"Thanks."
I look you in the eyes, really make you see it. I can tell you're being shy about this and I don't like it. You should never be shy, you are so incredibly talented.
"Are you sure this is alright? It's gonna be a big time commitment and I didn't really talk to you about it."
"Santana, I'm sure. I'm on this ride with you wherever it goes. I'm happy. I'm happy for you"
"Happy enough to not hate the blonde hair?"
"Hmm… I suppose."
You shove my shoulder and roll your eyes, "You're such a bad liar, B."
"I'm sure I could be convinced to not hate the blonde hair. If the argument is compelling enough I may even start to like it."
"Is that so?" Your eyebrow raises and your head does that cocky little weave you've probably had perfected since you were four.
"Very so."
You laugh and I kiss the side of your cheek, your dimple embedded where it always is.
"What were you gonna make for dinner, sweetie?"
"I hadn't quite figured that out yet, but… I think I need to take my super talented girl out for dinner."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I need to wine and dine her. Celebrate her accomplishments. Get all the details."
"I think that sounds lovely."
"Just don't tell my wife. I can't have her seeing me out with a hot blonde. It would drive her crazy."
You roll your eyes again, but smirk. "Your secret is safe with me, babe."