Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan
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"Did you suspect what Merin wanted?"
They were back in Akkarin's rooms after returning from the Palace, once more enjoying wine and savouries in front of a cheerful fire.
"I thought that was what he might want. But it wouldn't have been right, Sonea, you know that. The Guild would have fractured around me, just as it did around Balkan. Anyone who cares about the Guild and the future wouldn't wish to cause further dissent. The Guild has to speak with one voice to impose its will on the direction magic takes in the Allied Lands. That could never happen if I were re-elected. I would be forever having to keep my opponents quiet, chasing down plots against me, wasting my energies on dealing with internal strife rather than concentrating on what is necessary."
"Would you have enough votes?"
Akkarin laughed, "I've had one or two indications that there are groups who would support me and work hard to garner votes from others. Equally, there are some who are sworn to prevent it. Many fear my re-election. They think I would take action against those who were against me. Others fear a different High Lord, one who would be like Balkan, one who would create further divisions. Who knows, what the result would be on the day the election takes place. I do not intend to find out."
"Vinara would want it. That's why she sent Lorlen to find you. I'm sure if your name were put forward, you would be surprised at the number of those who would support you." Sonea paused, not knowing quite how to put her question but in the end deciding that directness was the best tactic. "Do you want to be High Lord again?"
He didn't answer straight away, Sonea watched him closely, but his thoughts were masked. When he did speak, he sounded a little uncertain, but his words were not, "I thought I did. When the King persuaded me to return, with a task to perform, I thought it would all fall into place and I would be back where I belonged. That was one reason why I was reluctant to return; I feared that it would drag me in again, power and the ability to influence great things are almost like a drug to someone like me. But the reality….that was quite different. I had forgotten the insular atmosphere here in the Guild, with its groups of magicians all wanting some favour or reward; I'd forgotten the petty nature of their squabbles and the way their whole world revolved around their rights and privileges. There were times when I felt as if I were suffocating."
He got up to pour more wine for Sonea and himself. When he sat down again, he smiled warmly at some memory which had sprung into his mind, "I found I really missed the Steelbelt Ranges, the open spaces and the towering peaks. The fresh clean air. I missed my smuggling. I missed my home."
It took a moment for his words to fully register, and at first she couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was almost as if Akkarin was repeating her own words. For a second she wondered if this was another of his tests. She stared at him searchingly. There was no hint of duplicity in what she could discern of his thoughts. He does mean it!
An answering smile broke out on Sonea's face, "I miss home too!" she cried. "I miss silly little things – the way the sun rises over the valley in summer, the snow in winter and how the icicles hang from the eaves, watching Justen work at his riding, our lessons in our little library. And above all, I miss the peace and tranquillity of our valley. I miss it all."
Akkarin nodded, "I could see from your thoughts you were not happy here either. We have both changed since we left all those years ago. We are different people. The Guild is no longer our home, it is no longer our place."
Sonea was about to reply when there came a tap at the door. Akkarin frowned as she got up to answer it. They were unused to visitors. On opening the door, she found two people standing outside, both in Healers' green robes. One was the familiar stocky figure of Lorlen, the other was Jalette.
Lorlen grinned at her stunned expression and, as she hesitated, asked to come in. Akkarin was already turning to the wine, pouring some into two fresh glasses. As their visitors accepted their wine and found seats, Sonea found herself studying Jalette. The real woman was even more attractive than the image she had seen in Lorlen's mind. It was all to do with the sweetness of her expressive face and the warmth of her eyes, I was never as good as the original Sonea concluded.
Before anyone else could say anything, Jalette spoke quickly, "I know all about what happened, Lorlen told me. Don't worry, Sonea, no one will ever find out."
For the next few minutes, Lorlen talked about Jalette, how she had returned unexpectedly because her mother had died, and how he had explained what had been going on while she had been away.
"I was afraid someone would ask her about her journey home or what had happened at the Fort," he explained. "So I told her everything."
Sonea noticed the sweet smile Jalette exchanged with him. She is still very fond of him, she thought. I wonder…..
Then both of them talked at once, as they drank their wine, falling over themselves to add an anecdote to something the other one was saying, filling in some extra details or capping a story. Sonea found herself liking Jalette more and more. They seemed well suited to one another so Sonea hoped that they could have a long and happy future together.
"So," said Lorlen, sitting back in his chair during a lull in the conversation, "Jalette and I have come to help you in your campaign to become High Lord again."
There was a moment of silence, then, "I am not staying, Lorlen," Akkarin's voice was gentle.
"What? You can't mean it!" Lorlen's shock was stark. "The Guild needs you."
So Akkarin explained, as he had done for the King, just why offering himself for re-election was not the best thing for the Guild. From Lorlen's stubborn expression, Sonea could see that he didn't believe what he was hearing. She guessed Lorlen thought he would become Administrator to Akkarin's High Lord again, just as they had done before. She remembered how he had explained that Jalette's father would approve a marriage with the Administrator, but not with an ordinary Healer. For Lorlen then, there was more to this than simply getting the Guild a good High Lord. For him, it made all the difference, when offering Jalette a marriage ring.
It took a while, but eventually Lorlen began to believe that Akkarin was telling the truth about intending to leave the Guild and disappear again, his disappointment plain on his face.
"And you agree with this, Sonea?" he asked, turning to her as if for confirmation, no doubt remembering her passionate arguments for Akkarin to return to the Guild.
She nodded, "Yes, Akkarin is right. This would not be good for him or good for the Guild. I'm sorry, Lorlen."
She would have added more, but she could see Lorlen didn't want her to even hint at his prospects of a permanent relationship with Jalette.
"When will you leave?" he asked.
"As soon as I can. It would not do to be here when the election takes place, it would simply make things even more complicated. The King's Magician will leave the Guild as suddenly as he appeared, his work done for the time being."
Lorlen continued to look unhappy at Akkarin's decision. He sat brooding over his wine so after a moment, Sonea tried to turn the conversation to other things.
"Are you back for good, Jalette?" she asked.
"Yes. I only went home to see if I could help mother and now that she is dead, there was no point in remaining. I did think of starting some Healing treatments in our local village, but father didn't approve. To be honest, he is not really comfortable with magicians. I think he prefers to be proud of me from a safe distance!" Jalette's laughter was bell-like.
As Jalette was talking, Sonea had the beginnings of an idea. She felt in her pouch for the scroll the King had given her. She pulled it out and unrolled it to remind herself of the contents. Yes, it mentioned a house and several farms. It might just be the thing. Without stopping to think her idea through, she interrupted a conversation between Lorlen and Akkarin.
"Lorlen," she started, "Would you like to offer Healing to country people instead of working in Imardin?"
Lorlen looked rather taken aback at her question, bearing as it did no relationship to the matters they had been discussing.
"I hadn't really thought about it, Sonea, but I suppose Healing is needed all over the country and not just in the big towns." Lorlen didn't sound particularly enthusiastic, but Sonea didn't let that worry her.
"And you would like to do that, Jalette?"
Both Healers looked at her, puzzlement clear on their faces. She giggled at their reaction and waved the scroll, "The King has gifted me an estate with a house and some farms. It's out in the countryside somewhere, not sure where, but I can find out. Akkarin and I will not live there permanently, but I expect we will visit from time to time. I've been wondering who would look after it for me. I suppose there might be a steward, but I would much rather have someone I know and trust to look after it. So, why don't you and Jalette live on the estate to look after it for me? You could also offer Healing to the locals, I am sure they would be grateful."
There was an awkward silence and Sonea knew she had made a mistake. Jalette and Lorlen exchanged embarrassed glances as the silence stretched out.
"That's a generous offer," Akkarin said smoothly, filling the awkward gap in conversation, "but it's a lot to spring on someone and expect them to make a decision straight away. Perhaps you both would like to talk it over and let Sonea know what you feel."
Both Lorlen and Jalette thankfully grasped at this helpful comment, expressing their gratitude to Sonea and assuring her they would have a full discussion and let her know soon what their answer was.
They left not long afterwards.
As the door closed behind them, Sonea hid her face in her hands for a moment and groaned. "That couldn't have been worse," she moaned. "They didn't know what to do or say."
Akkarin laughed and put his arm around her, "You were just trying to be helpful in your usual impulsive fashion. But I think you misread the situation between them. There is an attraction, to be sure, but I could read no idea of a marriage in either of their thoughts."
"Really?" Sonea said, surprised, "When I talked to Lorlen before, he seemed very smitten with her and regretted he was no longer Administrator as her father would have been impressed by that and welcomed him into the family."
"Well he doesn't seem to be thinking of changing his unmarried status and Jalette has a number of things on her mind, but marriage is not one of them. You should read surface thoughts more often, Sonea. You are perfectly capable of it, but you rarely seem to remember you have the skill."
"It doesn't seem right to read the thoughts of friends. Enemies yes, but not friends."
Akkarin shook his head in mock dismay at her scruples and refilled her wine glass. Sonea sipped her wine. It was not yet midnight and she was thinking about some pleasurable activities she might like to try before returning to her rooms and falling asleep, when her agreeable thoughts were interrupted.
"I think we should go to see Justen tonight and make plans to leave Imardin."
"So soon?" she said, startled.
"Yes, it's no use prolonging our stay. Merin will only try again to get me to take part in the election. We should leave as soon as possible."
"But there's still work to do here, Akkarin. Numbers of novices are falling and the Guild is weak. Even if you are not High Lord, as King's Magician you can still have an influence.
He was silent for a moment, but Sonea couldn't tell what he was thinking. She wondered if he really felt the Guild was not the place for him, or whether there was some lingering sense of rightness at being back. But this time, when he replied, there was no hesitation in his words.
"No, Sonea. The decision has been made. We will go home."