"Glass Illusion"

She was cold. Ice cold. Her core body temperature frighteningly below normal. Kaidan ran his omni-tool over her again checking for any other severe damage. Her pulse was weak and slowing. Blood dripped from her nose. He scanned her again.

"Is she going to be alright?" Lt. Vega asked he was crouched on the other side of her. Worry filled his eyes as Kaidan glanced up briefly from his task.

"She's freeze." He replied trying to keep the worry reflected in James eyes out of his voice. Shepard. Fear knotted in his chest. Breathing became hard. He stared down at her trying to focus on the readouts of his omni-tool, but his thoughts were too many and too scattered. He wanted to reach down and cradle her to him. Never to let her go again.

"She's bleeding." James commented nodding toward her nose.

"I know." Kaidan's brow furrowed as he looked at the readouts on his omni-tool. Her breathing was even slow. "We have to get her back to the Normandy so Dr. Chakawas can have a look at her."

James nodded and started to reach for her. "Doc, will be able to fix her." He mumbled. "Can't we do anything to help her until then? Medi-gel or something?"

"I don't think…" Kaidan started.

Shepard's eyes shot open and she started coughing,

"Holy Shit!' James cursed jumping up from his crouch as Shepard scurried away from them both.

Fear etched on her face. She pushed herself up against the seats of the shuttle as far as she could. Her eyes were wide and frightened like a wild animal. Coughs wracked her lithe frame. Her biotics flared and sputtered out, only to flare again for another brief moment. She waved her arms keeping both James and Kaidan at arms-length.

"I'm okay, I'm alright." She gasped out into between spasms. Whether she was seeking to confirm her condition with them or herself, Kaidan wasn't certain.

Kaidan chest constricted as he raised his hands to try and take hers. Shepard shook her head harshly and winched as she did. "I'm fine." She stated after a few seconds wiping a hand under her nose smearing the blood there. "I'm fine." She repeated this time with a bit more conviction.

Kaidan closed down his omni-tool and crawled over to her. She wasn't waving her arms around but she shook uncontrollably. Her teeth chattered. She pulled her knees up toward her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Kaidan sat next her. He let his shoulder touch hers. He looked at her for a moment taking in her freezing cold body; banged up armor, damp hair and blood smeared face. She was leaning her head back against the seat of the chairs her eyes closed.

What had it all been for? It had better been worth it. He thought darkly as his fingers twitched to reach out and caress Shepard's cheek and tell her it was going to be alright. He wouldn't do that at least not in front of James. Instead he just let his shoulder touch her it was as close as dared at the moment given her reaction upon waking as well. "Don't do that again." He whispered gently. Shepard opened her eyes and stared at him a moment, before smiling.

"Trust me I don't plan on it." She shuddered and closed her eyes leaning her head back again. Kaidan eyed her warily, but didn't move. He didn't like it not one bit. What had she learned? His curiosity was peeked, but he was also worried. His basic scans hadn't picked up anything unusual in Shepard's vitals. Besides her core temperature was below average…way below. He would just have to sit and be patient. Dr. Chakawas could take a look at her more thoroughly first. Top priority was to make certain Shepard was okay then he would question her on what the hell happened while she was gone.

Kaidan's eyes flickered over the three separate piles of datapads stacked up on Shepard's desk. Her personal computer blinked its green eye at him, notifying Shepard that she had unread messages. The sound of water bouncing off metal floated to his ears.

"Shower." He mumbled to himself. The unbidden thought of Shepard naked peeked into his mind. His heart hammered as he remembered that night almost three years ago. That night had meant everything to him. Seeing the famous and celebrated Commander Shepard so human and vulnerable, made him feel human too. Not a freak, but a human. A normal man. Though Shepard was far from a normal woman, she still humbled him without judging him. She didn't pity him or berate him, but valued his opinion and trusted him. He had worked hard to get where he was in his life and in the Alliance. But that night…he would have thrown it all away. Just for that brief interlude of time where it was just him and Shepard.

For a couple of hours they had been the only two people in the universe. Saren, Sovereign, the geth, the Alliance none of it had mattered. Kaidan hadn't experienced those feelings of belonging…since he couldn't remember when. BaAT in the beginning had made the kids feel like freaks and outcasts. Trash their parents hadn't wanted. And in that unity of conformant he had found a sense of belonging with his fellow BaAT members. But all of that had been an illusion. Glass shattered on the floor with his first kill. A kill he had committed in hatred and anger, not out of a sense of duty, protection or survival, but simple white hot rage.

Kaidan closed his eyes and willed himself to forget those awful memories of his past. It was done. Over with there was nothing he could do about it now. He had to concentrate on the present and the future. He bowed his head and counted.

One, two, three…

Shepard's fish tank bubbled softly as oxygen was filtered through the water. Each pocket of air its own universe and filled with a vast clear nothingness that was essential to life.

Opening his eyes Kaidan stared at the datapad clenched in his hands. The pitter-patter of water clunking on metal in the bathroom had stopped. The words of his Spectre report ran together. His mind refused to crunch the numbers and meaning of the words.

"Kaidan?" Shepard's voice sounded in his ears. He turned slightly, catching sight of Shepard as she exited the bathroom. Heat crept into his cheeks and shot down his torso to his toes. She had wrapped herself in a simple cotton white robe. Her hair hung damp and straight just pass her shoulder blades. Kaidan swallowed the lump rising in his throat. This was the most ordinary he had ever seen Shepard. And he liked it.

"Ah, I…uh…seem to catch you at a bad time…I'll just," Shepard's lips quirked into that little knowing smile of hers. Kaidan's heart raced. He swallowed again brazenly letting his eyes linger on her robed figure. Lean, fit, yet distinctively feminine. He still couldn't believe that she was real.

She laughed and turned away toward her dresser. "Well, it's not great timing for business talk, but anything for you." She threw him a wink as she descended the three steps down to her sleeping area.

Kaidan chuckled and averted his eyes back down to the datapad in his hand.

"I actually just wanted you to look over this Spectre report before I submitted it to the Council for review." He sighed and walked over to the desk placing the datapad on the stack of reports nearest him. "But, I really just wanted to see you. Wanted to see how you were feeling?"

Shepard sighed and pulled out of her drawer a pair of sweats and a hooded sweatshirt. "I'm fine, Kaidan, really. I am. Doc, even says that I'm going to be fine. No permanent damage. Just a headache from hell and chills. All of which will disappear."

Kaidan nodded and joined her below. He stood at the base of the stairs waiting and watching. He crossed his arms. "So, care to explain exactly what happened down there? Or should I just keep guessing." His voice sounded harsher than he meant it to. He was angry and worried and frustrated most all of it stemmed to Shepard. He knew it was part of her job to take risk it was both their jobs…they were soldiers, but this hadn't been a risk…this had been insanity. Shepard had taken most if not all the risk and for what? He loved her. He wasn't going to lose her again…she wasn't going to die if he could keep her from it.

Shepard closed her eyes pausing in pulling out her clothes. "You're upset."

"Damn right, I'm upset, Shepard!" He snapped keeping his voice low. "You almost died…again. Didn't you think for a moment what kind of repercussions that could have? Not just on the galaxy or this war, but to me. Look, I know we take risks its part of the job. I get that, I don't like, but I get it. This seemed unusually risky and bold even for you." He paused waiting to see if she would answer, but she didn't. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You seemed desperate. Ever since Thessia…"

Shepard slammed the drawer shut and spun to face him. "Damn right I'm desperate, Kaidan! I can't sleep, I can barely eat. The galaxy thinks I'm going to win this war for them. That I'm their savior. I don't have the Catalyst information, Cerberus does. I don't even know if the Crucible will work. I'm desperate for a way to stop the Reapers. So I don't care what I have to do as long as I find some way to stop them. If that means diving to the bottom of all water planet in a rickety mech to speak with an ancient alien species. Then I will."

Her eyes were bright with anger. Her face was flushed with the heat of it too. Kaidan felt himself drawn to her all over again. "Shepard," He breathed "I don't want to fight. I just want to understand that you didn't suffer for nothing down there." She shook her head and started to turn away from him.

"I don't know." She replied. He reached out and gently grabbed her arm. Tugging lightly he pulled her to him. Kaidan wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her body against his.

She still felt cold. Not as bad as before but still cool to the touch. "You're cold." He whispered bring a hand up to cup her cheek, he ran his thumb along her lips. Her breath was warm and sweet.

She nodded and closed her eyes leaning into his hand. "Can't seem to shake it either." She seemed to be savoring the warmth he was radiating.

He sighed, his heart constricting again with the realization she was still in pain. He took his hand away from her face and wrapped it back around her waist. Her head came to rest on his shoulder and her exhale of contentment puffed against his throat. "You're really warm." She mumbled her eyes drifting closed. Even standing she somehow managed to snuggle against him with both hands pressed against his chest.

"You should probably get some sleep." He replied letting his cheek settle on top of her head.

"Hmm, can't reports." Shepard muzzled his neck as she tried to burrow closer to him.

He ran one of his hands up her back wanting to rub away some of the cold her body seemed to be generating. "It can wait." He said. She opened her eyes moving her head just enough that Kaidan had to realign his. He looked down to meet her eyes. Her bright green eyes reflected his and his breath hitched. Her brown hair framed her strong beautiful face, tired or not Shepard was pretty, but her eyes…her eyes showed an inner strength and beauty that the surface could never begin to reflect. "Shepard," he whispered lowering his lips to hers. She needed to sleep and relax. At that moment he knew two things for certain; he could make Shepard forget her reports for a while and two…he knew of great way to warm her up.

So a little Shenko fluff...I loved the Leviathan DLC and I can't wait for the Omega DLC. I can't believe I'm still writing on this and my NaNoWrite story. But, Mass Effect actually helps me unwind a little after writing for several hours on the other story. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews. I still plan on a poker game with most of the main cast...it would be interesting to see. Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, favorites and what-nots for this story it has been so much fun to write!

Prism Elf