Chapter Seven:
Patrick stood there, stunned. Sam was frozen to the spot and Robin sank down on the bench.
"Jason? It's Jason? Oh, God, I need to see him," Sam said and turned to run after the gurney.
"I have to go," Robin said as she held her face in her hands. She felt a million times worse all of a sudden and she couldn't handle of all this.
"I've called for the car," the security guard said as he stood next to her.
"Robin? Are you sure? Jake is Jason?" Patrick asked as he moved closer.
She felt all of her energy just fall from her already exhausted body as she looked at him.
"Yeah, that's him. Sorry if it ruins your budding romance."
He sighed and shook his head.
"There is no romance," he began.
"Oh, so it's just sex? That's how we started, so you're right on target. Have fun and to be honest, I don't care. Excuse me," she said and looked at the guard.
"Can you get a wheelchair? I don't think I can walk."
"Of course," he said and walked to the nurses station.
"Robin, please let me help you," Patrick said as he sat down. He didn't care about Jason or Jake or Sam. He just needed to help her. He just wished she would give him an inch.
"I can't breathe," she said softly.
"I know, but I'm trying to explain myself," he said as he stood up.
"No, I can't," she got up and collapsed and Patrick jumped to her, gathering her in his arms and rushing into an exam room, barking orders for help.
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Elizabeth was sitting with Jake when Sam walked in. She stood there, in the doorway, staring at the man she had come to hate. The irony of all of this wasn't lost on her.
"What are you doing here? He is sick and he doesn't need to be upset. You need to leave," Liz said.
Sam realized Liz hadn't heard Robin.
"It's Jason. It's not Jake, he's Jason," she said and walked to the bed.
Elizabeth stared at her and she shook her head.
"No he isn't. Jason is dead and you aren't messing with Jake."
"Get away from him," Sam said as she walked closer.
"What's wrong with you," Liz said. "You're crazy."
"Get away from my husband," Sam said again and the two of them looked as Jason opened his eyes and looked at them.
"Where is she?" he asked.
"I'm right here," Sam said as she looked at him. "Do you remember what happened?"
He looked from Sam to Elizabeth and his brilliant blue eyes were filled with pain.
"Where is Robin?"
"Robin?" Sam asked.
"Robin," he said and was out again.
"I'm going to get the doctor," Liz said as she looked at them and then left.
Sam sat down next to the bed and looked at him.
Her hand shook as she reached to take his hand and when she touched him, the familiar feel of his skin warmed her whole body.
His build was Jason. His shape and form were all like Jason. His eyes were so familiar to her, and she believed, in this moment, that she fought him so hard because he remanded her so much of Jason.
He hit too close to home and it killed her. She missed him so much and this man who came out of nowhere with no memory of anything and a habit of getting to her from the very beginning just made her heart ache.
She turned to Patrick because he was everything Jason wasn't. He was no threat. He was fun and charming and handsome, but he wasn't "it". She knew Jason would never creep into her relationship with Patrick because they were so very different.
She wanted to stop hurting, so she went after Patrick. Silas broke her heart in a way that surprised her, and with Patrick, he was also hurting. He had no expectations and he simply wanted a friend.
But he wasn't Jason. This man, this beautiful man lying in front of her was her husband, back from the dead.
And he asked for another woman.
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Patrick was terrified. He called Brenda to come to the hospital because he knew Robin would want her there and now he was sitting with Robin who was unconscious. Her lungs were full of fluid and he had requested the top pulmonary specialist. He knew this wasn't a simple case of pneumonia.
She was fading away in front of him and it simply couldn't happen. He had been horrible to her, ignoring her needs and pushing her away out of some ridiculous need to be the center of attention. He also knew something was done to her to be causing this kind of reaction. Maybe she was given something that was reacting with her body? Maybe Helena planted some sort of poison in her? Why the fuck didn't he ask any questions?
He knew who he married and he knew her devotion to who she loved. He adored that part of her. He remembered when she first really told him about her connection to Jason.
Patrick: You never talk about Jason.
Robin: We're not close anymore.
Patrick: Well, correction - you avoid talking about Jason. You talk about Stone so much, sometimes it makes me jealous.
Robin: Well, you know, there's a lot of people that I'm not that close to anymore. When Jax and Brenda were married, I used to spend a lot of time with them, even -
Patrick: You're doing it again.
Robin: What?
Patrick: Avoiding talking about Jason. I mean, he's like this mystery in the middle of your life, and I don't want to push this on you if it's uncomfortable, but - I mean, I know why you guys broke up - because of Carly and her son Michael. It was so painful for you that you took off to Europe for six years. But Jason's the reason why you came back. Jason's the reason why you and I met. You couldn't stand me at first sight, but you begged me to do his operation. I mean, that's how much you wanted to save Jason's life.
Robin: And you want to know why?
Patrick: Well, you have a lot of defenses. You assume that love won't last.
Robin: I'm working on that. I think I'm becoming positively optimistic.
Patrick: I understand that, but, I mean, at first I thought it was about Stone, or because you have H.I.V., or even your parents coming back from the dead.
Robin: Oh, well, great. I'm happy to know you think I'm an emotional basket case.
Patrick: Robin, you're a strong, resilient, amazing person, but very protective of her heart. I mean, you - you still don't trust me even now, and I'm starting to assume maybe that's because of Jason.
Robin: Maybe it is. Jason and I loved and trusted each other completely, and we broke each other's hearts. Okay, I - I don't know if I told you, but I had a huge crush on Jason when I was in high school. He was so different before the accident - straight-a student, captain of the soccer team, very charming. I mean, I know it sounds trite, but he really was the golden boy.
Patrick: Well, I know the side effects of cerebral edema, but it's hard to picture the guy you're describing.
Robin: Yeah. When Stone was diagnosed with AIDS, Jason was there - I mean, outside of Sonny and Brenda - to offer support and friendship. And then Stone died, and, uh, not even a month later, A.J. drove Jason into a tree.
Patrick: Hmm.
Robin: He was comatose for two weeks, and I would just sit by his bed, and I thought that he was going to die, too, because, you know, nothing good ever lasts. Clearly, I was at a low point in my life.
Patrick: I can't say I blame you.
Robin: One afternoon I went to his hospital room just to visit, and, uh, I was just sitting there, not expecting anything, and Jason woke up. He looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and for the first time in a long time, I felt hope. It was clear right away that he had brain damage, suffered memory loss, personality shift. His family closed ranks around him. I mean, they - they just wanted their son back.
Patrick: The attending neurologist didn't say that the damage could be permanent?
Robin: You know how it is - families do not want to hear the bad news.
Patrick: Yeah, but Alan and Monica are doctors.
Robin: And doctors make the worst patients, the worst families of patients. Jason was completely alienated. He ran away from the Quartermaines and actually lived in an abandoned boxcar for a little while in the woods. And then one night I met him again on the bridge.
Patrick: What bridge?
Robin: The one past the gorge on Evergreen Point. It's gone now - the city tore it down because it was a safety hazard.
Patrick: Stone's ashes.
Robin: That's the one. That's where I would go to remember Stone. It was the only place that I didn't have to pretend to be strong. I could be as sad and miserable as I wanted to be. And then one night Jason showed up. You know the amazing part? I still didn't have to pretend to be strong. He didn't need me to be brave, optimistic Robin. He was two months out of the hospital with severe head trauma, and he had no expectations. When I was with Jason I stopped hurting - hmm - sometimes I even laughed.
Patrick: And you fell in love.
Robin: I actually used to be much closer to Sonny. To say that we bonded over Stone's death would be a complete understatement. He took care of all of Stone's medical bills. I mean, he was the first person in the room with me when Stone died.
Patrick: Hmm.
Robin: So maybe that gives you an idea of how I could rationalize the way he made his money.
Patrick: Did you introduce Jason to Sonny?
Robin: I facilitated the friendship. I reinforced the fact that Sonny was someone that Jason could trust. The night that Sonny's first wife died - correction - the night a car bomb went off and killed her, I thought Sonny might do something to himself, so I sent Jason over there.
Patrick: "Sent him"?
Robin: Absolutely. Jason trusted me so completely that I could literally tell him what to do. I liked that. I - I got used to being the arbiter of right and wrong in Jason's life. He had this very childlike way of compartmentalizing things. It was like what he did for Sonny was completely separate from anything that I taught him about ethics. So he got this completely schizophrenic moral code where, on the one hand, he was the most gentle, honest person you had ever met, and then on the other hand, he's a killer. And it didn't have to be that way. You know, if I had just been a little bit more realistic about Sonny, if I had encouraged Jason to do something else rather than pick up a gun.
Patrick: I had no idea you carried this much guilt, still, about it.
Robin: I'm not. The Jason in the PCPD lockup is very different from the boy I fell in love with. And if you ask him, he will tell you that he made all of his own decisions right down the line. I just feel like I could have made a difference somewhere and I didn't. Sorry you asked?
Patrick: That explains a lot.
Robin: What - about why I'm so bossy?
Patrick: No, about how you became who you are - and how lucky I am that you're with me. Unless, of course, you're still carrying a torch for Jason?
Robin: Please.
Patrick: That wasn't exactly a no.
Robin: Listen to me, the only man I'm carrying a torch for is you.
"Patrick? What are you still doing here?" Brenda asked as she walked in, startling him from his memory.
"I didn't want her to be alone. I also don't need to hear you yell at me again. I just want to sit here. She's asleep so it isn't hurting anyone."
Brenda smiled a little and shrugged.
"Okay, but when she wakes up and asks you to leave, I need you to listen to her."
Patrick sighed and looked at Brenda.
"Jason is here, too. He recognized Robin and they both reacted with so much feeling. I don't know how Sam didn't know Jake was her husband."
"Jason is here? Where?" Brenda asked.
Patrick sighed.
"He collapsed so Sam and Elizabeth are with him. I'm sure his wife will take care of him."
"If you're jealous of his love for Sam, you can go pee in the corner in his room. Robin deserves peace."
Patrick shot her a look.
"I didn't mean that. I don't care about Sam that way. I care about Robin. I only want her to be okay."
"Your words are hollow. I'm not trying to be a bitch here, Patrick, but Robin is y only concern and you really hurt her. She needs to be the one to decide what happens next and I won't leave her alone to play backup to the man she loved more than anything in the world, except Emma."
"I have never stopped loving her. I know it seems that way, but none of this was about love."
Brenda looked at him and was quiet, letting him talk.
"She was gone for two years and I couldn't understand how she could decide to leave again. I mean, Emma needed her and she had missed so much, birthdays and holidays and report cards. I know it wasn't her fault, but when she started speaking of Jason and how he needed her, I just snapped."
Robin opened her eyes and Brenda saw her watch Patrick, but she didn't say anything. Her eyes closed again but Brenda thought she was listening.
"I felt like I wasn't enough. I felt like she was choosing someone else."
"Like you chose Sabrina?"
Patrick glared at her.
"You don't know anything about this. I didn't choose Sabrina, I chose Robin."
"After making her wait. Do you know what that did to her?"
"Did you talk to her then?" he asked as he sat back down.
"Every night. Patrick, she was crushed. She waited almost two years to fight her way home to you and you turned her away. Not only that, but you made her wait and for her, that was verification that she wasn't enough."
He felt tears come to his eyes as he listened to Brenda.
"That wasn't it. I just didn't know how to admit to Sabrina that she was a place holder. I didn't know how to hurt her that way. I had used her and I knew it."
"But you had no trouble hurting Robin. Did she tell you what it had been like for her while she was held? Did she explain the torture she endured? Do you know what she worried about more than anything?"
Torture?
"No. I don't know anything because I never asked. I don't know what I was thinking," he said.
"She was worried that you would wouldn't want her back. She was shown images of you and Sabrina and she saw how Sabrina looked at you. Jerry told her over and over that you had moved on and when she came home, she saw it for herself. The night she finally came home, she went home alone."
"I didn't move on. I've never moved on," he said quietly.
"I think you should go home," Brenda said. "You don't need to be here."
"No, I think you should go back home. I am her husband and I need her to understand."
"You aren't her husband anymore, Patrick. You and Anna turned away from her and you are now with Sam. It's insulting to Robin to have you sit here and act like you care."
"I'm pretty sure this isn't your business. I appreciate the kind of friend you are to Robin, but this is our life and not yours."
Brenda sat back and smiled.
"You still don't get it. That's not how we work. We may not be blood, but me and Robin and Sonny and Jason are family. I know you hate that and Robin did her best to honor your feelings, but you made the choice to end your marriage. Robin could never have lived a happy life knowing Jason was left to die. When you sent her papers because of that, it simply proved what she worried about all along. You were just waiting for an excuse."
"No, you're wrong," Patrick said.
"Then fucking prove it. Stop saying things like 'I need' and start asking questions. Start being a man Robin feels comfortable with and not responsible for. Stop acting like this has been all your hurt. Robin has been through hell and she deserves so much more than seeing you with another woman."
"Enough!" Patrick yelled. "I hear you. Please, it's enough," he said softly.
Brenda nodded.
"Until Robin is happy, it will never be enough. I'll be back soon," Brenda said and walked out.
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I know Brenda is being a little harsh, but I need Patrick to begin to see things from another perspective. Someone needs to show him what he has failed to see.
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