Just feelin' like the world needs a little more Shenko fluff. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

PE

The Darkest Hour of Night

Shepard started awake. Her chest rose and fell in rapid breaths. She sat up and cradled her head in her hands. Sweat coated her face and ran in salty droplets down her back. Sighing quietly she glanced over at the sleeping form beside her. His quiet steady breathing and smooth face were indicators that Kaidan was still sleeping soundly. Shepard disentangled herself from the blankets and sheets and stoop up. Stretching her arms above her head she patted softly over to her dresser. Rifling though it she pulled fresh underclothes, shirt and pants from it. She did everything on automatic pilot. Her thoughts were elsewhere, lingering on the nightmare she had been having.

She knew her guilt plagued her but there was nothing she could do about it. She threw herself into saving the galaxy in hopes of assuaging some of the pain away instead she seemed to be repressing it. Her nights were filled with dark reminders of her helplessness.

Shepard moved into the bathroom, the door opening silently and the overhead light flickering on as she entered. She piled her clothes and towel at the small table across from the shower and toilet. She undressed from her nightclothes leaving them in a heap on the floor. She turned the nozzle on the hottest setting and stepped into the running water. The water scolded her skin thawing her frozen mind. She stayed in the shower letting the water kiss her skin and hair. She wasn't certain how much time had passed, but when she turned the water off the small bathroom was steamy and filled with soft white clouds. She dried herself and wrapped her hair in the towel. She dressed slowly. Her mind was weightless as she left the bathroom. The chillier air from her room hit her like a blow to her stomach sucking the breath from her lungs. She debated climbing back into bed and snuggling up with Kaidan who generated heat like a furnace, but she had quite a bit of work to do still.

She unwrapped her hair and toweled it dry the best she could. She tossed her dry clothes into the hamper and tiptoed back up to her desk. But not after a quick peek to see if Kaidan still slept. She smiled to see that he was in fact still asleep. She didn't want her irregular sleep patterns to disrupt his. She sat at her desk and pulled over a stack of datapads all filled with ship reports, duty rosters, requisition orders, supply shipments and various other tedious details. She began the long and arduous task of reading over them, signing them and filing them. This was her routine and she knew it would be at least until this war was over.

Kaidan awoke alone. He sat up slowly looking around for Shepard. This wasn't the first time he had found himself alone in her bed. Frowning he slid from the warmth of the bed's blankets and looked around the cabin. Judging from the alarm clock it was late still a couple hours away from when they were scheduled to wake up. His only guess was that Shepard had another nightmare. She didn't want to worry him and he wasn't going to add to the stress of her problems. But he knew the truth, she wanted to hide from her guilt and she might have been slightly ashamed of her actions back on Earth. Her fears where manifesting themselves in her sleep.

Kaidan walked up the steps into the area that housed her work desk. He smiled down fondly at the image laid out before him. Shepard's head was cradled in her arms and she was sound asleep at her desk. A pile of datapads on either side of her head her dark hair spilled around her face and shoulders was slightly damp. Her pale face seemed younger and carefree in her sleep. He reached out a hand and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. A small tingling jolted his fingertips and Shepard's eyes fluttered open. She snuggled her face into the crook of her arm hiding her eyes.

"Hmm…it can't be time to get up yet." She mumbled. "Just went to bed."

Kaidan smiled and leaned forward to press a light kiss at her temple. "No, you still have a few hours. But do you really want to spend them at your desk."

"Hmm?" she replied groggily. Her eyes peeked into view again and he brought his hand back up to caress her cheek. "I'm asleep at my desk?"

Kaidan kissed her cheek. "Yes."

"Oh." She sighed and sat up fully looking around. "I didn't get through as many reports as I wanted."

Kaidan shook his head. "Shepard," She waved a hand dismissing his protest.

"I know, I know." She sighed again and leaned back in her chair her head tilted back. She closed her eyes. Awake she looked tired…not just physically. In her eyes was reflected a weariness of spirit. Her bright green eyes were a little dimmer. A sharp pain of fear stabbed into his chest. This war was killing Commander Shepard, not just the person but the idea too. Shepard was more than a person, she was an idea something tangible and nontangible at the same time. She was the idea of hope in an otherwise hopeless world, the possible to the impossible that was Commander Shepard savior of the galaxy. He loved her from the person that was buried beneath the labels and ideas, but he couldn't deny his attraction to the person of ideal either.

"You need more sleep." He stated firmly.

"Tell me something I don't know." Shepard responded without opening her eyes.

"You should come back to bed." He suggested with hint at something more deepening his voice.

Shepard opened an eye and regarded him a knowing smile pulled at the corner of her lips. Kaidan wanted desperately to kiss her. That smile was so certain of everything. It never seemed to falter. "Should I?" she teased.

Kaidan nodded and then ducked his head to capture her lips with his. He kissed her passionately. Her kiss was sweet and addicting. She pulled back from him breathless and her cheeks were flushed. He continued to kiss her cheeks and press butterfly light kisses down her throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he placed his hands on her waist and stepped back pulling her to her feet. His face buried suddenly in long brown slightly damp hair. He kissed her throat as she placed her head on his shoulder. She was warm and soft. He could have stayed like that holding and feeling her presence in his arms. It was moments like this that he remembered she was really alive and well, and for the moment safe.