Chapter 20 – Preparing to leave
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A/N: Only Edward's PoV here.
In the last few days I got many new followers and people who put my story among their faves. Thank you all and, if you feel like it, tell me what you think.
HAPPY EASTER OR PESACH, IF YOU CELEBRATE THEM
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So, I had accomplished the first part of what I had set out to do: the Volturi had lost their tracker. However Bella had almost died because of it, and the very thought was devastating. When she came to, with an awful headache, I said to the others that I would take her to the resort – she needed to rest - but we should all meet later, with the Elders added, because I had a proposal for the aftermath. The wolves wanted to do some more patrolling, in case Demetri had somebody else with him, apart from the two vampires already disposed of, but it seemed unlikely. The mystery of Judy was solved; her chameleon talent had fooled us all, but she was ash now.
I carried my love to the car and drove to our temporary home. Her bag had remained on the beach when she had been abducted, but she had a few more painkillers among her toiletries. She took two pills, after firmly refusing to go to the hospital to be checked. In Forks they knew her, and she didn't want to answer questions about the mysterious disappearance of the Cullens. She knew that an enquiry was still open, because no human remains had been found. At the time of the tragedy, she had been questioned by his father's former colleagues but - since the whole Rez had sworn she had been staying with Leah and her mother when the house had burned - the fact that she was puzzled as well and didn't know anything more had been accepted. Then Bella had left the Olympic Peninsula.
For some time, I just sat on the bed with her in my arms. This had never happened before – not when she was awake, at least. It was wrong, I had no right, but I couldn't bear to break the physical connection between us. Not today, not when, for an eternal, horrible moment, I had thought she was gone forever.
Not again, no. I won't see you die.
After a while, she broke the silence between us and said with a small voice:
"You know, while the vampire was carrying me, I regained my senses but I kept still, least she incapacitated me again. So I heard what was happening – you were all speaking with a normal voice, not with vampire frequencies."
"Well, yes, in the hopes that the wolves were near enough to hear us and come. Without thinking about it, Demetri followed my lead."
"So I heard everything, Edward. I heard Demetri telling you and Alice to freeze. And you must have obeyed. What would he have done to you?"
I hesitated, but this was a fearless girl who knew everything and had just faced death.
"He would have dismembered me and Alice, boxed up our remains and shipped us to Volterra to be reassembled."
"And you were going to allow it."
"And Alice too. We… we care about you, Bella." Then I realized exactly what she had done.
"You screamed intentionally, to create a diversion, to stop Demetri! Oh Bella, Judy could have killed you so easily."
"I don't think I would have survived, anyway. Do you know what plans the tracker had for me?"
"I just got a glimpse, his mind was elsewhere. But he wanted to interrogate you about the Quileutes, and then…"
"I would become a snack, I suppose," she concluded dryly. But her face scrunched and she cried:
"Oh Edward, hold me tight, don't let me go!"
No, my beloved, I won't let you go – for now - but when I'm done, I'll have to. There is no future for us and I can bear losing you only because I know that you'll live and be happy, once I have erased the Volturi from your future.
I didn't say anything of the sort, of course, nor did I allow myself even a kiss. I just lulled her, rocking her gently until she fell asleep.
Later on, showered and dressed, she came with me to the Rez.
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Leah wasn't in La Push. She had remained with her imprint at the hospital. Unseen by the staff, Alice and Jasper had taken them there and then had gone to wreck the Subaru in a convincing way, one that explained the shattered windshield, the broken door and all of Kevin's cuts and bumps. But, by and large, he would recover.
For the rest, everybody was in the large boat yard the tribe used for meetings, when – due to the weather - they couldn't be held outside: the Pack, the Elders and the so called vegetarian vampires. I had become one too, I realized, despite my eyes being still red. I would never drink from a human again until my own demise.
I had asked for the meeting, and it was my turn to speak.
"The death of Demetri is primarily beneficial for us vampires, in that we can't be tracked anymore. But the Volturi don't need to track the Quileute People. They already know where you live and intend to continue living." I started, knowing that - for my plan to work- I had to convince everybody, therefore it was going to be a long speech.
"But, first of all, let's ask Alice something: before coming to the meeting have you Seen how fast will Aro learn that Demetri is dead?"
"He won't know it immediately, no. We have some time," she answered.
"However," I said, "even though he was disgraced, I believe that Demetri had somebody he trusted in Volterra. Felix, probably, and they must have been in contact. If he doesn't call anymore, Aro will eventually learn he has disappeared and somebody will be sent to investigate. One of the places they'll try will surely be the Olympic Peninsula. We must act before that."
"What kind of act?" asked Billy Black.
"I am going to tell you a secret that could cause disruption inside Volterra. I believe that Aro will do his utmost to avoid that particularly one of his co-leaders learns of it. But it might not be enough: Being without scruples, he might prefer to dispose of that leader, keep his power and still have his revenge on you. He has other talented immortals under his command, ones that could easily destroy the Quileutes when he decides to strike."
"We don't fear vampires," growled Sam, his words mirrored by his Pack's thoughts.
"You should," Alice interjected, and then proceeded to describe some of the Guard's members and what they could do.
Now concern had substituted anger in the audience, and I could resume:
"It is therefore necessary to add another threat, to make sure that the Quileutes will be left in peace. Forever in peace. I have thought of something, but it has a price, one I hope you will be willing to pay. And you will need the cooperation of other native tribes, in North and even in South America. Peoples with whom you have family ties or time-proven alliances. I trust that there are a few that you can contact. You will send emissaries to them, and deliver a package – one that you, Alice and Jasper will have to prepare – the same package for each delivery. We vampires don't even need to know who the other tribes are; it is safer.
Alice will then write a letter to Aro..."
As my proposal unfolded, anger and disbelief were slowly substituted by amazement and hope.
Why should we believe him, he is a Volturi and could well betray us! (Paul)
Giving all our secrets away, so dangerous, but if it works … (Sam),
Leah has now come to trust him … it is an important factor. (Sue Clearwater),
Cool! I hope they'll send me. (Seth)
I understood their concerns, so I added:
"You surely understand that, should this threat be carried out, the world as we know it will be irrevocably changed. But I believe that just the threat will be enough to create a stalemate."
"I can't See it now, but I am pretty sure it will work and we will be safe. Before coming here I had some visions that now are making sense, Later, I'll check again." Alice's words seemed to place a seal of acceptance on my proposal.
The rest of the meeting was devoted to the many details that had to be decided on. The plan would be carried out.
And I wouldn't be needed much longer.
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I took Bella back again to the resort. She wasn't sleepy, so we sat together on the cabin's porch and for a while we went over the things discussed at the meeting. When she realized I didn't seem to have any role in the preparations, she went deadly pale.
"You are preparing to leave, aren't you?" she accused me.
I had considered leaving in a few days from now – I still wanted to see the draft of Alice's letter – after cooking up some story about having urgent business in New York. However, looking into her dark, serious eyes, I couldn't find in me the strength to lie. I couldn't give her what she wanted, but I could give her the truth.
"Bella, for over two centuries I have lived in a nightmare. When I ran from the Volturi I had already decided not to continue with this existence. Then I got a small reprieve, and I had the possibility to atone – albeit minimally – for two hundred years of evil deeds. There is nothing else that justifies my existence's continuation."
Bella flinched at my words, and her retort was bitter.
"So I count for nothing? What we feel for each other counts for nothing? Don't lie to me!"
"If I hadn't met you I wouldn't have known what love means. Now I know. But I am poison. I won't ruin the life you deserve to live. Not when finally you can have it."
"I don't want it, if I have to lose you." It was little more than a whisper.
She had had so many losses. Would she miss me, would she mourn me? This last thought came out of the blue. Why should I wish it? Wouldn't be better for me to be forgotten?
I think that desperation overtook us both then. I had nothing more to say, nothing that made sense. So we embraced, and kissed, and kissed again.
It is the last time, possibly, that I have her in my arms. She is warm and smells like the nights I've never had and never will have.
She stopped kissing me and took a step back. So, it ends now?
"Edward, look at me. I know what you have in mind. I can't accept it, but I can't stop it. You are such a fool. Very well, go away and die, damn you. But this night is mine. There is no yesterday or tomorrow. Make love to me."
And she searched for my lips again. Reason left me then, and purpose. Or, rather, only a single purpose remained. I wouldn't fight any more for what was right. I would only fight against my traitorous body, vowing that it would give only pleasure, not pain or death. This night I was hers. This night would stand for the eternity together I craved and couldn't have.
Hand in hand we went inside and slowly we undressed each other, admiring what we saw. Our mouths had no more words, because they were otherwise occupied. Hot hands traced my cold skin 'til it didn't feel cold anymore. My large, deadly hands caressed, not grasped, learning her curves, learning how to elicit soft sighs of pleasure from her.
She too explored, going past my chest, past my navel, lower and lower, touching and then holding my manhood, making me gasp and cry out.
"I need to be inside you," I whispered on her lips.
Bella too spoke, after the long silence we had shared.
"There will be no blood," she said.
A reassurance? A confession? Yet I don't feel jealousy, only relief that there will be no pain – and no blood to tempt the monster. She is a woman, she knows what she wants and what to expect. I am not taking advantage, at least I am spared this type of guilt …
So I took her, and her body welcomed mine in the most intimate of embraces. In her warmth I was lost and reborn many times, until - with joy and delight - we both came together and we were spent.
Then the Earth moved, and the sky. For a moment it was as if in my desiccated veins blood coursed again, hot and strong. I felt warm, alive… Her womb was a well and my thirst was quenched. Blood had nothing to do with it. Amazed, I realized what was happening. The woman in my arms, this woman, was everything that was and would be. There wouldn't never be another, even if I continued to exist. My sexual past was erased, forgotten. She was my first and my last.
The mating bond was completed.
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Note
Sigh …. Will it be enough?