Chapter Eleven:
Robin opened her eyes and saw a pair of worried young eyes looking at her. She smiled and sat up, realizing where she was.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked her quietly.
"Of course," she said as she smoothed her hair back and realized she was far from okay. She worried she was going to lose her lunch. Damn her meds.
"You've been sleeping for an hour. I wanted to wake you up but daddy said your body needed to sleep. I've been watching you. Is that okay?"
Robin pulled her daughter to her and she crawled onto Robin's lap.
"It's always okay, baby. You can always wake me up if you need me. You never have to ask if it's okay. You are everything to me, Em. I'm so sorry you were worried."
Emma hugged her and smiled.
"I need help on my school project. Can you help me?"
Robin felt tears come to her eyes. This would be the first time she was able to help her daughter with homework. What the hell happened to her life?
"Of course. Can I run to the bathroom first?"
"Yep. I'll get my bag and wait for you," Emma grinned and went to get her things.
Robin held her head in her hands and sighed. She took a deep breath and got up slowly, making her way to the guest bathroom.
Patrick watched from the kitchen where he was cleaning up Emma's lunch box. His heart ached for Robin and what he knew must be going through his mind. He wanted to go out there and enjoy this family time, but he knew it wasn't right. She and Emma deserved this.
He also knew she was going to leave and stay elsewhere. He didn't blame her, but he wanted her to stay. He wanted so many things and he knew he had no right to feel so entitled.
"Patrick?" she startled him when she walked in.
"Hey, are you doing okay?" he asked, the dark circles under her eyes a clear indicator that she wasn't.
"I'm fine. I just wondered if you had a cracker I could eat? My stomach is upset."
"Of course," he smiled and went into the cabinet and grabbed a box of crackers. "Do you want some gator ade?"
"No thanks. I'll help Emma and talk with her a while and then my Uncle Mac is going to come pick me up. I'm going to let him help me get situated in an apartment. I want to find a place soon so I can have Emma come and stay if that will be okay with you."
None of this was okay.
"Of course. She's your daughter, Robin. I would never stop you from seeing her."
A look of sadness crossed her beautiful and pained features and she nodded as she took the crackers.
"Thank you," she said and walked back to Emma.
About an hour later, Emma finished her project and Robin was waiting for Mac. Patrick had been called in by Emma for final approval on their work and he laughed when she explained every part of her piece.
"I think this is an amazing project. Your teacher is going to love it," Patrick said.
"Of course she is. It's the first project my mommy helped me make!" Emma hugged Robin and once again she felt her tears fall.
Patrick saw her sadness and he looked at Emma.
"Why don't you go get ready for dinner and then help me set the table while I talk to mommy."
"Okay," she said and kissed Robin's cheek before bouncing out.
"I haven't seen her this happy in so long," he said.
Robin nodded and stood up.
"I know. I'm sorry about that. I'm going to do better now so she never has to be so sad."
"I didn't mean that," he said softly. "It was a compliment."
She rubbed her arms, a chill in the air.
"Thank you. Also, thank you for letting me crash here for a little while. I didn't realize how tired I was. I texted Mac and he is on his way."
He didn't want her to go.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?"
She stood up and grabbed her sweater.
"I don't think that's a good idea. You and I need to keep our distance, Patrick. I want nothing more than to be with Emma, but you and I have nothing more to say to each other. I'm going to say goodbye to Emma and I'll see myself out."
He watched her walk to see Emma and his picked up the pillow from the couch, throwing it across the room.
He sat down on the couch and saw the way the blanket was tossed over the back. He touched it and a flush warmed his body.
Robin always tossed the blanket that way.
He saw the papers on the table from Emma's bag and he saw Robin's writing with his daughters.
Robin's writing.
He felt his shame growing as each little reminder of his wife filled his senses.
He was startled as the doorbell rang and he shook his head almost as if to shake the feelings away and he opened the door.
"Hi Mac, come on in," he said.
"I'll wait out here. Will you just tell her I'm here?"
"You don't have to wait outside.
Mac crossed his arms and nodded.
"I will be in the car."
Patrick sighed and turned as Robin walked in.
"Was that my Uncle?"
"Yeah. He is waiting in the car."
She blushed.
"I'll talk to him. He is just angry."
Patrick shrugged.
"We should have told him about what was happening. He has every right to be angry. So much of what has happened was because we handled it wrong."
Robin grabbed her bag and looked at him.
"I'll talk to you soon about seeing Emma," she stopped and looked up at him. "She is a remarkable child. I hope you know how much that means to me. You are an amazing dad."
He smiled and looked at her.
"She is just like you."
They looked at each other for a minute and she took a breath.
"Goodbye Patrick."
He didn't move. He just watched her leave.
Emma walked out and up to him, tugging on his hand.
"Daddy?"
He sat down and smiled at his daughter.
"What is it Emma?"
"You need to smile more."
He grinned.
"You think so?"
"I do. Mommy makes you smile. I like that."
The doorbell rang and he kissed her forehead before getting up to answer it. He saw it was Sam and he opened the door.
"Hi. Can I come in?"
He nodded and opened the door.
"Hi Emma," Sam smiled at her.
"Hi. I'm going to my room, okay daddy?"
Patrick smiled at her and worried she was upset. Had he ever realized how much his relationships affected his daughter?
"Okay. I'll call you down for dinner soon."
She walked away and Sam walked into the room and sat down on the couch.
"How is Robin doing?"
Patrick sat down on the chair.
"I don't know. She's always put up a good front. I think she feels like crap and is furious with everything, but she's holding it in."
Sam was quiet and then nodded.
"How are you doing?"
Patrick shrugged.
"I'm fine. You?"
"It's been amazing, having Jason home. Danny is so happy. I can't believe how wonderful it is."
Patrick thought back to when Robin came home the first time and he made her wait before being with him. He thought back to that moment at the church and how he saw her for the first time and how much that moment changed his life. He adored her and every wish he had every hoped for came true in that moment.
And he turned her away.
"Patrick? You okay?"
He nodded, having no desire to talk to her.
"What are you doing here?"
She was taken aback for a minute and then looked at her hand. Patrick saw the wedding ring was back.
"I wanted to thank you."
That surprised him.
"For what?"
Sam smiled and then stood up.
"You were the first person who looked at me as a person with value and not simply as Jason's wife. After I lost Jason, I didn't know how to move forward with my life. I remember the moments after you lost Robin and I talked to you at the hospital about operating on Jason. Now that I look back on that, I can't even imagine how you were able to help me. I just wanted to thank you. Because of you, I am able to welcome my husband back into my life and know that it's what I really want."
Patrick sighed, needing her to leave. He just couldn't get Robin out of his mind.
"I'm happy for you. I hope you have everything you want."
"I do. Now it's time for you to have the same."
"I think it's too late for that."
"Why? What do you mean?"
He looked at her and shrugged.
"When you learned Jake was Jason, was there a moment where you made him wonder if you wanted him back?"
She smiled as she thought of him.
"No, of course not. I mean, I was stunned because it's no secret that I didn't like Jake. But it made sense. Jason and I started out at odds with each other and it was fitting that it happened again."
"I did. I made Robin go home alone because I didn't know how to hurt Sabrina. I broke Robin's heart and now when she came back again, I was with you. I don't know how to fix that."
Sam looked at him.
"Do you want to?"
He was quiet and then his face lit up.
"Yeah. I really do."
XXXX
Robin went to Jakes a few days later after she finally found an apartment. She had been staying with Mac and it was important for her to get out on her own. She knew Mac was worried about Helena still out there and Jason was watching out for her, too, but Robin needed freedom. She needed to live her life.
She compromised with Mac by promising to come and have a drink at Jakes where he could look out for her. She had pulled her hair up in a ponytail and was wearing a pair of tight black jeans and a white sleeveless shirt. She felt like this was the first night she was able to have fun in so long and she was so excited.
"Hey!" Liz squealed as she came in and hugged Robin. "Look how amazing you look."
Robin grinned and took a drink of her beer.
"Thanks. I think I'm starting to feel human again."
"That is awesome," Liz grinned and they both looked up as Mac brought a drink for Liz and a glass of wine for Robin.
"I already have a beer," she grinned at him.
"It's from the guy at the bar," he winked at her. "I got his prints so I'll run a background check if needed."
Robin laughed and looked at the bar. There was a really attractive man sitting there eating pretzels. He smiled and Robin blushed.
"He's cute," Liz said as Mac walked away.
Robin felt a warm flush go through her body as she felt the effects of the alcohol and the atmosphere.
"What did I miss?" Brenda asked as she came in.
"The guy at the bar bought Robin a drink," Liz said as Robin rolled her eyes.
Brenda raised her eyebrows.
"And why haven't you gone over there and thanked him?"
Robin gaped at her.
"Right. What am I supposed to say? Hi, I'm sorry I'm a bit out of practice, but I've been held captive for the last few years, my husband divorced me and now I'm trying to make sure I don't die because a psycho granny is after me. Oh, and I am HIV positive."
Liz and Brenda looked at each other.
"Or, you could say thank you," Liz said.
"I don't know," Robin sighed. "This is ridiculous. I just want to relax and try to forget my issues."
"I know, but it's also nice to remember that you're a hot young woman who is brilliant and available. Go make him drool," Brenda said.
"I'm not available," Robin said softly.
Both women looked at her.
"What do you mean?" Liz asked.
"I am in love with Patrick. I need to figure out how to move on without him. I just don't know how," she felt tears come to her eyes and she downed her beer. "I also don't want to talk about this anymore."
"You can flirt. It won't hurt and it might make you remember that you deserve to be adored," Brenda said.
"Don't look now, but he's coming over," Liz grinned.
Robin began to panic and Brenda smiled.
"Just be yourself."
They were all quiet and then laughed.
"Nice," Robin said with a chuckle.
"Excuse me," the man said as he stood there. "May I have this dance?"
Robin looked at the women and they both encouraged her.
"Why not," she said and took his hand as he led her to the small dance floor where a few couples were dancing. He pulled her to him and she smiled.
"My name is Mark," he said.
"I'm Robin," she smiled and felt tipsy from the alcohol.
They swayed to the music and Robin just let herself have fun.
Brenda was smiling at Robin and Liz sat back, so happy for her. It was time Robin just had fun and felt appreciated.
"Hey Liz," Patrick said as he walked up with Dante and Nik.
"Oh, hey you guys," she said and eyed Brenda.
"Dante! Long time no see," Brenda said and hugged him.
"You look great! How long are you in town?"
"Actually, I might be staying for a while. I'm not sure yet."
Nik smiled at Elizabeth and she laughed.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"Just trying to unwind and get Drake here to stop moping."
"I'm fine," Patrick said.
"Sure you are," Dante said.
None of them noticed Robin just yet.
The song ended and Robin walked to the bar with Mark. She didn't turn around and see the men.
"Thank you. That was really nice," she said as she went to go back to the women.
"Wait. Let's talk for a little bit," he said and she smiled as she sat down.
"Okay," she shrugged. "Why not."
"Well there's a vote of confidence," Mark said and grinned.
Robin laughed and sighed.
"I'm sorry. I'm not used to this."
"Talking?"
"I guess," she took another drink of the beer he ordered her.
"I'm surprised at that. You're a gorgeous woman, Robin."
She blinked and here eyes filled with tears.
"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" he asked her, concerned.
"No," she sighed. "I need to go. I'm so sorry."
Mark stood up and took her hand.
"Don't go, please. I'll try and be less complimentary."
She laughed and sniffed.
"I'm embarrassed. I didn't mean to get emotional. I just have a lot going on right now and I think it would be best if I said goodbye."
Marc nodded.
"I can take a hint. It was nice meeting you, and if you'd let me call you sometime, I would really like that."
Robin blinked.
"Really?"
He laughed.
"You don't know how amazing you are, do you?"
She blushed.
"You don't even know me."
"Actually, I'm a pretty good judge of character. You have a good heart. I can tell."
"Is that right?"
"Yes. Give me your hand," he said.
She smiled and did as he asked.
Brenda looked over and kept her eye on her friend, not wanting Patrick to ruin anything. He and the men had taken over a pool table and hadn't noticed Robin yet. She wanted to make sure there wasn't a scene.
"What are you guys staring at?" Patrick asked as he walked past them on his way to the bar.
Liz stared at him and he grinned.
"What is it?"
"Nothing," Brenda said.
"Okay," he said and chuckled as he walked to the bar. He heard her laugh before he saw her and he froze.
She was standing there, absolutely stunning and some guy had his hands on her, rubbing her arm.
"Robin?" he interrupted.
She flipped around and his breath caught in his throat. She looked incredible.
"Patrick, what are you doing here?"
"Plating pool with the guys."
"Oh, well have fun then," she said and turned back to Mark.
He couldn't believe it. She blew him off. She actually blew him off.
"How about we have one more dance?" Mark asked her.
She didn't know why. She couldn't explain it. She went against everything she felt and smiled.
"I'd love to."
Patrick watched as she went to the dance floor and rested her head on Mark's chest as he held her.
This was not happening.