Hello Everyone! I'm back for a little while. Between work and job interviews it's been a busy summer! I've finished writing a few of these chapters for this story. Mostly they all deal with the Citadel DLC. So...SPOILER ALERTS! I try not to go into too much detail about what happens in the DLC, but things are mentioned and plot points given away. So if you don't want to be completely spoiled for the DLC then you might want to skip these next few chapters. A shout out and thanks to all those that are following, reviewing and have added me as a favorite. You guys are awesome! So that's it. Enjoy!

-PE

Hot Tub

Kaidan entered the apartment without any problems. Shepard had given him the key code to unlock the door anytime he wanted to come over. She hadn't called, but after everything that had happened he knew Shepard would want to talk or at least vent.

"Shepard." He called as he entered not wanting to startle her.

"Up here," She answered her voice wafted down from the upstairs. Kaidan climbed the stairs still in awe of just how big this apartment was. He really did want a place like this, but back on Earth with an ocean view, hell even a bay view would be better than the street view Shepard had. But it was still one hell of a place.

He walked back to the bedroom that Shepard had claimed as hers. "What are you…?" He trailed off as he saw Shepard reclining in the hot tub. She had a bottle of beer sitting on the lip of the tub and from the looks of it she wasn't wearing any clothing. He sucked in a breath, exhaling it slowly.

She smiled up at him. "I'm trying to relax," She raised an eyebrow at him. "Care to join me?" She asked reaching for the beer and taking a sip. She sat the bottle down gently on the edge again.

Kaidan grinned back at her. She looked beautiful sitting there. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of the tub and her eyes were brighter than he had ever seen them, more new spring grass green than the deep summer leaf green they usually were. Her mahogany hair was twisted into a simple knot on top of her head, but the dampness of the air caused her hair to look closer to black than brown. She brushed a hand across her forehead wiping away some water droplets.

"Well?" She asked again.

Kaidan blinked, "Well, what?"

Shepard sighed and chuckled. "Are you joining me or are you just planning on standing there and leering at me all night?" She winked at him.

Kaidan crossed his arms and leaned against the entry way's frame. "I'm capturing the moment." He replied. He really was trying to imprint everything about this scene to memory. This was not Commander Shepard, but Vaina. This was the woman underneath it all. The woman he loved.

"Oh?" She turned crossing her arms she propped them up on the edge of the tub and peered knowingly up at him. "One of those little moments you want more of?" She teased.

"Something like that." Keeping his arms crossed he pushed away from the door. "I'm not complaining or disinterested in the idea of joining you, but Shepard, I think…"

Shepard looked away from him a frown creasing her forehead. "Kaidan, don't." She breathed.

"Don't what? Not talk about the idea that your clone tried to steal your identity? That Cerberus actually had a back-up plan? That Brooks wasn't who she said she was? That the Normandy was almost high-jacked? That your clone killed herself because she didn't want to live in your shadow? Yeah, don't possibly have anything that you might want to talk about." He snapped. He hadn't meant too, but she was stubborn and he could practically see the penned up frustration, confusion and doubt gnawing at her. She was stressed enough- she hadn't needed this especially when she was supposed to be enjoying her shore leave.

Shepard remained quiet as she turned her back on him. She leaned back against the wall of the tub and closed her eyes. Sighing out a puff of air in a white cloud, "I know, I should be upset, or angry even, but I just can't. I was pissed at the time, but now…now I'm just tired." She said at last.

Her weariness tugged at Kaidan's heart, he uncrossed his arms and undressed. He did it without even thinking fully about it. Slipping into the hot water of the tub he flinched slightly at the heat. "Shepard," She hadn't even seemed to notice he had joined her.

She opened her eyes and regarded him coolly. "I was going to try and enjoy my shore leave. You know, try not and think about everything that still needed doing or about the galaxy that still needed saving, but its funny the world has a way of not letting me forget."

"Not everything is riding on your shoulders alone," He whispered pulling her close. She slipped comfortably into his arms, nuzzling his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm here, Shepard, never forget that." He placed a gentle kiss on her temple.

"Yes, I know and I'm thankful for that, I really am." She turned her face to where she was scat inches away from his. "You know that, right? I could never have done any of this without you."

Kaidan smiled and shook his head. "That's not true. You would have done just fine without me."

She laughed, kissing him lightly on the lips. "Possibly, but thankfully I'll never have to know."

Chuckling Kaidan squeezed his arms reassuringly as he lowered his mouth to hers. She kissed him back without any hesitation or reserve. She broke the kiss sooner than he would have liked. She raised her hand dripping wet with hot water and traced the outline of his jaw. Her eyes roamed his face, "I felt sorry for her in the end."

"You mean your clone?"

Shepard nodded and placed her finger over his lips. Her touch was light and soft-a whisper against his skin. "She knew she was a clone. She knew she was only ever brought into existence to be spare parts. What a horrible shocking life. To be given life only to be someone else back up. I couldn't say I wouldn't have reacted similar to the way she did. She wanted my life because she thought she should have it. She was jealous of me because I was given the life that she thought she was supposed to have. It was my fault she was alive and had no purpose. I mean who wants a life where all you are is back up parts?"

Kaidan pressed a gentle kiss to her fingertip. "You feel sorry for the person who wanted to take over your life and kill everyone that called you friend? Who wanted to destroy everything you worked so hard to be? She wasn't you, Shepard, she could never have been you."

Shepard shifted uneasily. "She could have been, Kaidan. What stopped Cerberus from using her instead of me? It would have been a better gamble in the long run. Why choose me over her?"

"Because they needed you. She wasn't you. She lacked something. Something vital. People listen to you, Shepard. Even if they don't believe you at first they still listen to you. You draw people to you and you have this uncanny ability to make others see your point of view. It's a little unnerving at times the way people just seem to jump over to your side."

"Really? You think it's weird?"

Kaidan nodded. "It can be creepy some of the time, yes. But that's not the point. The point is Cerberus knew this. The Illusive Man isn't an idiot. He knew this. It's why I'm guessing they didn't implant you with a control chip of some kind. He needed you to be you. And while I don't understand all the fundamentals of how they brought you back. You're still you. That's what's important. I don't think a copy could have done that."

"You're sweet," Shepard replied smiling knowingly. Kaidan shrugged, but smiled back at her. Her released her hand and reached up to cup her face.

"And you are thinking into this more than you should. Let it go."

"All right, Kaidan." She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. "But I much rather you make me forgot about it."

"Well, I believe I can do that."