I've got my wife right where I want her.

Naked.

Naked and beneath me.

And she's moaning. Oh, dear God is she moaning.

We haven't done this in so long, I almost wonder if I forget how.

Yeah, no. Haven't forgotten. Might embarrass myself in a few minutes, but I certainly think I remember how to do this.

It took us a while to come back to each other after William was born, but I think we're finally there.

It's very rare that we go through spurts where we don't talk to each other, but when we do, it feels like catastrophe strikes. Maybe one day we'll learn to just always communicate.

"You're so beautiful," I whisper, sliding my hand down her leg, settling in between her thighs. She laughs a little, still not completely believing me. But I'll take all night to convince her if I have to.

Or until one of the kids wakes up from their nap.

I had a big, romantic idea of how to do this with her our first time back at it, but we put the babies down for a nap before taking them out for Halloween tonight, and Monica slid her hand up my shirt, and it was all over from there.

I practically carried over my shoulder back to our room.

Just a couple of weeks ago, she'd barely let me touch her; half the time, she wouldn't even look at me. I've spent most of that time since then doing everything in my power to convince her of how spectacular she is every chance I get. Doesn't matter what's going on—washing dishes, cooking dinner, feeding the kids—I'll stop her and tell her how much I love her, how beautiful she is, and if she's game, maybe a casual grope here and there.

I almost feel like I'm getting to know her all over again…and I don't hate it.

I just have a hard time believing that she could ever think she's anything less than wonderful, or that I would ever think that. That's probably why it never once occurred to me that she was feeling self-conscious about how she looked after giving birth. It makes me sound way too much like a "guy," but I never thought about it. I don't know that I ever really noticed that she looked terribly different after having the baby, and not in an "I don't care" sort of way. Just that I thought she was incredibly sexy and amazing.

Yes; I thought my wife was incredibly sexy just after giving birth. I wasn't going to proposition her at that moment, but there was something about the whole thing—the pregnancy, the glow, the hormones, the unbelievable strength and power in her body as she pushed out a baby, how she looks when she's nursing—that made me want her more than I've ever wanted her.

Which isn't surprising to me because I felt the exact same way the first time I saw her with the twins. That was not a feeling that ever really went away, either.

On Monica, motherhood is sexy as hell.

Even with William, who has spent much of his short life crying, and her complete exhaustion as she tries to console him…even with that…still glorious.

Not only was I shocked when she finally told me what the issue was, but I was disappointed in myself for not thinking about that. So, I dedicated all my spare moments to trying to make her feel good.

I think it's been working.

The first time she took her shirt off for me…well, yes, I wanted to stare at her. I wanted to see her body and marvel in its capabilities. But I held off, and worshipped her instead.

Even knowing there were going to be difference didn't mean I could really see them. I mean, her hips are a little wider now, and that may never change, but hell…that's pretty all right in my book. Curves are good. Her boobs are bigger, but I think she knew that wouldn't be an issue for me. I suppose it was her stomach area that had her most concerned, but honestly, all I can see is the place where our baby used to live.

We've had to backtrack a few times, but I think I have her mostly convinced that she's still the most beautiful woman in the world.

She's been letting me touch her, which has been amazing. Before now, we haven't been completely naked together, but we've been doing a lot of no shirt, over-the-pants type stuff, which I happen to love. I've been making her orgasm, which, again, I love. But even at night, we're falling asleep wrapped around each other again, and that might be the best part of all. She's completely perfect, whether or not she believes it.

"I love you," she whispers to me suddenly, and I'm afraid I might lose control. True; I've gone longer periods in my life without sex—hell, before Monica, it was rare that I ever had steady sex. But once you have perfection, it's hard to go without, and the last four months of celibacy suddenly seem like an eternity.

"I love you, too, Mon," I tell her, moving my lips to her neck. She angles her head so that I have better access. "You sure you want to do this?" I stop my ministrations, looking up to her face, already glowing with a fine layer of sweat. "There's no rush, you know. We don't have to do this with one ear on the baby monitor."

"Oh, come on." She leans up, pressing a line of kisses down my throat. "We're parents; playing beat the clock is part of the fun. You know Jack'll be out for a while, and Erica will at least be quiet in her crib. And William…well, William is the wildcard, so that's going to be our challenge."

I sigh as her lips work at my neck, her teeth grazing my flesh. "I wanted us to take our time with this."

"Oh, honey. We have been taking our time. I think three months is more than enough time. Consider the last couple of weeks foreplay."

Part of me wants to insist that we wait for a better time, but I honestly don't know if any time will be better for while. And my libido is in agony, begging me to give in to her.

Aside from her telling me about her concerns, William's been considerably less fussy. That sling she puts him in has cut his crying way back; it turns out that he really likes being close to someone, prefers to be close to a heartbeat, and if that person could also be naked, then everything is perfect.

He's still fairly finicky, but being held that close has helped him sleep better, which in turn helps Monica and me sleep better, and the twins seem to be more relaxed…overall, a happier house.

That sling comes in handy, though. Even I've taken to wrapping him up in it, keeping him close when I'm doing mundane, day to day activities. Happy baby equals happy mommy.

And happy mommy has been equaling horny mommy, and I'm all for that.

I slide my hand down her slowly, taking time to run my fingers over her side, her hip, her waist, and as much of her stomach as I can before she starts to feel uncomfortable. I run my hand across her pelvis, slowly dipping my fingers into her. Her head falls back as she lets out a low, quiet moan. In general, we try to use normal volume around the kids when they're sleeping so they don't grow up to be light sleepers; even though William doesn't sleep for very long periods of time, when he does sleep, it's pretty soundly.

But right now…neither of us wants to risk waking one of them up.

Her hips move against my hand; she bites her lip as she tries to keep her voice in check.

Watching her face move toward ecstasy is pretty incredible. It's a huge turn on, but watching her is usually enough to make me forget about my own ache, at least for a little while.

"You don't have to do this, Chandler," she moans quietly, her body continuing to push against me.

"I need to get you primed," I whisper, finding her lips once again. "This is going to be a quick show for me." I curl my fingers a little within her and she gasps, her body going stiff for a moment before resuming its rhythmic, continuous pulse against me.

I want her so much I can't see straight. I close my eyes and press my forehead against hers, just listening to the noises she makes.

I feel her muscles tighten around my fingers and I shudder, slowing my hand down to barely-there movement. "Are you ready, baby?"

"Yeahhhh," she whimpers, and I pull my fingers from her, taking myself in hand, positioning myself at her entrance.

"Tell me if you need me to stop," I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, the sensation of her too much to bear.

I slide into her slowly—very, very slowly—and I groan loudly at the feel of her, stopping barely an inch into it, breathing deeply, my entire body vibrating.

"You okay?" she whispers, stroking the hair at the nape of my neck. I open my eyes, looking down at her; she looks genuinely concerned for me.

I smile, pushing the hair back from her face with one hand. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" She smiles at me softly, waiting for an answer. "I'm okay. This feels amazing."

The look on her face is pure happiness. "It really does."

I push into her a little more, meeting no resistance, no gasp of pain or shock. All she does is moan happily, wrapping her arms around me tightly. She pushes her hips up a little, taking me in further, and I groan, sinking into her completely. I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut, my entire body shaking. I'm surrounded by her and I'd forgotten how completely perfect it feels, how perfect she feels.

I breathe heavily, resting my forehead on the pillow next to her. "I need a minute," I whisper, and she nods her head, her fingers gently running up and down my back.

I'm so happy to be back here, and I don't just mean having sex with wife. Just being close to her again, knowing that the strain of the last couple of months wasn't something I did to hurt her, feels wonderful.

It killed me, thinking that I'd done something to upset her, that just my presence was enough to make her draw away from me. She wouldn't talk to me, though I kept trying. I'd just get one-word answers, or she'd get distracted by the kids, and everything would get swept under the rug again for a while. She was still sleeping next to me for the most part, though it wasn't uncommon to find her sleeping in a rocking chair or on the couch, the baby curled against her. How can I fault her for that?

It wasn't the lack of sex that was bothering me—though I won't deny I missed it—it was not being able to just be with Monica. We've spent so many years together holding hands and cuddling and being overly affectionate, even before we were a couple, that to suddenly be without it, especially after an event that should have brought us even closer together, felt like I was missing a part of me.

It was horrible.

It's so easy to forget the body image issues my wife has, especially when I look at her and it never occurs to me that she's anything less than perfect. For the most part, she never seems that concerned with it, either. I just have to force myself to be more conscious of it, to be aware that this is something that will always be a part of Monica. And to reassure her that I love her, always and forever, without conditions or expectations beyond her loving me back.

I press my lips to her neck and thrust against her gently, slowly. She sighs into my ear. "I missed this so much."

A shudder runs through my body, everything tingling. I feel like a kid again with the way my body's responding to her, not a guy in his mid-thirties who's been with his wife for over seven years.

"Breathe," she whispers to me. "It's okay."

I chuckle a little, kissing her gently, trying to keep my pace slow. "Shouldn't I be the one comforting you?"

"You're the one about to pop," she giggles, and I grunt a little in agreement.

"Maybe it's best if you don't talk to me," I tell her through clenched teeth, only half serious. I slide my hand down to her thigh, dragging her leg over my hip. She moans into my ear at the increased contact, pushing her hips against me.

I wrap my arms around her, taking deep breaths, trying like hell to think of the least sexy things I can, which only works for about a second at a time; then I thrust into her again and all I can think about is how sensational she feels.

"I need to apologize in advance," I groan, pressing my face into throat. "This is going to be the fastest thing ever."

"I don't care," she breathes. "This feels so great."

I don't know if I completely believe her, but she seems to be responding with her usual gusto. I kiss the tops of her breasts for a moment before peeking up at her. "May I?"

She nods, opening her eyes a little to look at me. "Oh. Yeah. Just keep away from the nipple area."

"Will do," I answer, moving my lips to her breast, tracing my tongue over her gently, sucking at her carefully. I smile against her skin when I feel a shiver run through her body.

"Ohhhhhhh," she whimpers, her back arching off the bed for a moment. I cup her other breast with my hand, tracing my fingers over her softly. Her hips thrust against me a little faster and I feel her hand in my hair. I look up at her again and see her eyes tightly shut, her mouth open as she makes soft noises.

That visual certainly isn't going to help my stamina.

I move my lips to her other breast, trying to give it the same treatment, doing this helping to shift my focus from how wonderful she feels just a bit.

I missed being with her so much; aside from the fact that it feels like nothing else in the world, the actual connection I feel to her just completely floors me. We truly feel like one person in these moments, and it's not hard to believe that we managed to beat the odds and make a baby.

I sigh against her, moving my face back to hers, kissing her cheeks, her chin, her nose. "God, I love you, lady."

"I love you, Chandler." Her eyes open, meeting mine, a fine sheen a tears glistening in them. There's so much love there, so much everything. "I love you so much."

Another shudder ripples through my body. I pump against her faster despite my best efforts, and I know I have to speed this up for her a little, too. I refuse to have our first time back be one-sided.

I slide my hand between us, my fingers seeking her out, her body jerking at the contact. "Gooooooood," she moans, pressing her cheek against mine, her limbs wrapping around me tightly, her internal muscles clenching around me.

"Jesus, Mon," I gasp. I thrust into her faster, my fingers moving against her faster. Her fingers dig into my back, her hips meeting mine frantically.

Oh, God, I'm about to be in trouble.

My body tingles all over; the pit of my stomach is coiled into a tight spring, ready to explode. I grit my teeth, try to clear my mind.

Doesn't help.

I stop thrusting suddenly and she stares at me in shock. I rub her frantically; even though I'm not moving I still feel like I'm on the edge. Her own hips haven't stopped moving. She still feels fantastic.

She watches me through eyes at half-mast, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "Oh, God," she says suddenly, and I feel her tighten even more around me. "Oh, yeah. There. Theretherethere." I start thrusting into her again; it's only moments before I'm right where I left off. She presses her face into my shoulder, only partially muffling herself. I feel her toes curl against the backs of my thighs. "Yes," she moans softly. "Oh oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhh."

I jerk into her violently, almost painfully as she spasms around me, and for a moment I'm beyond amazed that I managed to hold out long enough for her. Then all thought is gone from my head as I'm lost in the sensation of my beautiful wife.

I pant against her skin when I finally come back to myself, my head pillowed against her chest. I reach out blindly, finding her hand, dragging it to my lips. "Sorry," I gasp. "Next time will be better."

"Well, gee, if it has to be." I look up at her, and she's grinning at me widely. "Personally, I quite enjoyed our first foray back into sex."

I shake my head, leaning up to kiss her. "Still. Next time, I won't behave like a horny seventeen-year-old."

She runs a hand through my hair, kissing me tenderly, before I shift off her just a little, holding her close, keeping our fingers linked. "It's been a while," she answers softly. "I think we both held up nicely, all things considered."

"Speaking of," I say, kissing the back of her hand. "You seemed to have a sudden change of heart. I didn't want to mention it before—I mean, I'm crazy, not stupid—but I wasn't expecting you to be in the mood all of a sudden."

She giggles a little, turning her face to mine, pressing a quick kiss against my lips. "I wasn't either. But do you know how hard it is to believe bad stuff about myself when all I get all day is you telling me how wonderful you think I am? How can I be self-conscious about my body when you get so turned on just being near me? I'm sure I'll have more 'moments' before this is all over, but you do such a good job of loving me, it's tough to not want to love you back."

"Monica, I will spend the rest of my life loving you with every fiber of my being. Nothing could ever change that." Not only do I mean it, I know with absolute certainty that it's true.

Her hand goes to the back of my head, dragging my lips to hers, kissing me soundly. "You know how you're always saying that motherhood is sexy on me and that it's a turn-on to watch me with the kids?"

"Mmmmm, yeah."

"Well, it goes both ways, you know. Watching you take care of the kids, seeing how good you are with them…it's so hot. I know you think I was born to be a mother, but I think it's definitely possible you were meant to be a father."

I shrug a little, feel a bit self-conscious at the compliment. "Only with you, Mon. There is no one else in this world that I would want to do this with."

She smiles smugly. "Good." She shifts a little, making a face.

"Everything okay?"

"Boobs," she answers. "They already feel like they're ready for another feeding."

I untangle our fingers, tenderly tracing the edge of her nipple. "How do you know?"

"They usually feel like there's a lot of pressure in them. William's good for relieving that almost instantly."

"I think we got a breast pump at the baby shower. I can dig that out if you want to use it."

"Nah. It's much easier just to attach him when it feels like they need to be emptied. I don't know if we've found the end of his appetite yet, so he's usually pretty good about just latching on and going for it."

I lean over and kiss the side of her breast, nuzzling her softly. "Are they sore?"

"My boobs?"

"Nipples. You told me to keep away from them, so I didn't know if that was why or…" My voice trails off. "Is it okay to ask you this stuff?"

"Of course it is. All of this affects you, too. But, yeah, they're a little sore. Could be worse, I guess. Mostly, I just didn't want you to wind up with a mouthful of breast milk."

Lord help me, but I'm intrigued. "I guess that would be weird, right?"

She pauses, and I feel her gaze shift down to my face. "Did you want to try it?"

I shrug, tracing little circles around her breast. "I don't know." I look up at her, feeling a little helpless. "It's weird, right?"

She shrugs back at me. "I don't know. Maybe. But not if we're both okay with it...right?"

I can't help but feel a little surprised. "You'd…be into it?"

"It's something we could consider. I mean, in the heat of the moment, it could be all right."

"And, you know, William's really into it, so it can't be all bad." I shake my head to myself. "I can't do that to him. It's his breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midday snacks."

"I don't really have a limited supply, you know. He needs it and I can make it. Plus, I read that sexual stimulation can increase milk production, so not only will it be your fault if I make more, but you'll be doing me a favor to relieve some of the pressure."

"Anything for you, babe." She smiles at me then yawns suddenly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"Sorry."

I pull her against me, and she immediately wraps around me. I look at the clock then settle my cheek against her head. "Sleep. We probably have another hour before one of them gets up. Let's take it where we can get it."

I feel her lips on my chest. "Won't fight you there."

Almost immediately her breathing deepens, and I follow her moments later. I only stir when I feel her shift away from me. I crack an eye open and see her at the edge of the bed, pulling on her bathrobe.

"What's up? How long were we asleep?" I mumble.

She leans over and kisses me, patting my leg. "About forty minutes. My boobs can't take it anymore, so I'm going to get William. Maybe he'll be kind and just eat in his sleep."

I sigh and stretch. "I'll go get Jack and Erica."

"No, that's okay. I'll get them first and bring them in. Just…put your pants on or something." With that, she disappears from the room, though I hear her a moment later in the twins' room, greeting them softly. Judging by the giggles and their quiet, nonsensical chattering, they're already up. I pull my pajama pants on as I hear her ask, "Want to go see Daddy?" Just a few moments later, she walks back into our room, Jack on her hip, Erica's hand in hers as our daughter does her best to act independent. I hold my hands out, pulling Jack onto the bed next to me, then give Erica a gentle tug, making her giggle as I pull her up. She settles on my lap, smiling happily.

"You two ready for Halloween?" Jack cuddles against my side, still waking up, his fingers gently plucking at the hair on my arm. "I know, big guy. It's a lot to take in. The costumes, the candy, the people fawning all over your cuteness…it's rough." Erica falls forward against my chest suddenly, giggling. I tickle her sides gently, making her giggle a little louder. "You're the silliest. I don't even know what to do with all that silliness. But just wait until everyone sees you all dressed up. You'll knock 'em dead."

"Hate to burst your bubble, Daddy." I look up and see Monica walking back into the room, William tucked into Monica's robe, his little naked body pressed against his mother's skin, his mouth already attached to her breast. "But dressing them up in Star Wars costumes isn't as cute as something fluffy or squishy."

"They're going to be Luke and Leia—what's cuter than that?"

She rolls her eyes as she sits down next to me, tilting her head to smile at Erica, who's still pressed against my chest. "Hi, sweet pea." She leans over and kisses her head; William squawks, and I'm sure the nipple has popped out of his mouth. She makes a face at me as she adjusts the baby, and he's quiet again, save for his suckling noises. "Almost anything is cuter than Luke and Leia. Bunnies? Bears? Any other woodland creature?"

"Mama," Jack says, crawling onto her lap a moment later. She wraps her free arm around him and he leans into her—from the angle, it looks like he's staring at his brother, but most likely, he's still trying to wake up.

"I know, honey," Monica says, leaning down to kiss his head. "Daddy's making you dress up like some weird space dude. It's no fun."

I wrap my arms around Erica and she sighs. I look down to make sure she's not sleeping suddenly, but her eyes are wide open. She's just in cuddle-mode. "It's better than dressing our baby up like a monster."

Monica shakes her head as she tries to fight a smile. "He's not going to be a monster. He's Max from Where The Wild Things Are. He's going to be all warm and fuzzy and cute."

I lean over and kiss her shoulder. "Next year, we can dress them as R2-D2, C3PO, and Yoda."

She looks at me, pouting. "Can't you wait until they're all a little older and make the choice on their own to be sci-fi geeks instead of breaking them into it early?"

"Better to reel them in when they're young," I answer. "And, come on—they are the droids we're looking for."

She groans, shaking her head. "Oh, God. Why is the fact that you're a nerd such a turn on?"

I shift a little closer to her, pressing my side to hers. "Just lucky, I guess."

"You must be," she answers, leaning her head on my shoulder. "That's the only way I can think of that you'd get me to agree to costumes like that."

"The Force is strong with me," I answer sagely, and Erica sits up, staring at me, confused. Monica snorts, trying to hold back her laughter.

"That young Padawan does not agree."

"Traitor," I say to our daughter, sticking my tongue out at her. She giggles at me again. "And Erica, just so you know, your mommy just made a Star Wars reference all on her own. She's a geek, too."

Monica shakes her head, sighing. "You've had the worst influence on me."

I wrap my arm around her shoulders. "And you love it."

"Yeah, I do."