Chapter Seventeen:
Robin made her way through the hospital to meet with Mark. She had listened to his message and he wanted to talk, but she hadn't called him back. She texted him that she was coming in to talk to Elizabeth, and if he was around, she would like to talk. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but he was nice and she appreciated that. If nothing else, she could use another friend.
Things in her life were going well, but she needed a purpose. Jason and Sam were getting back on track and Emma was settling into having her mother back, but Robin needed a plan. She wanted to do something that would make her daughter proud. She wanted to show the world that she was more than a researcher who was used for evil.
She was so happy Jason was okay, and she didn't regret her initial choice to help him, but she could never have anticipated the cost. Losing her husband and so much time with her daughter wasn't what she ever wanted.
None of this was what she wanted.
She also knew there were issues she needed to handle and she was struggling. She couldn't sleep in her bed and she was wary of going out to unfamiliar places. Both of which were results if the trauma she lived through. She knew that, but she didn't know how to fix it.
She was afraid to tell people about it because she didn't want to have to go away again. When she suffered from PPD, she had to go away for so long and she missed so much time with Emma. She wouldn't do that again. She wouldn't leave her daughter.
"Robin?"
Robin turned around and smiled tentatively.
"Hi mom," she said softly. "I need to head to an appointment, excuse me."
"No, Robin, wait please," Anna said and walked with her.
"I don't want to get into anything," Robin said and walked into a conference room for privacy.
"I know, but I can't make anything better if you refuse to talk to me. I don't even know where you're staying."
"I found a nice apartment and there is a room for Emma, so we are doing fine."
"Okay, that's good, but how are you doing? I know what it's like to try and adjust back to a normal life after being away for so long. Can I help you with anything?"
Robin tried to be nice, but the words rang hollow.
"I need to go," she said and crossed her arms.
"Luv, please."
"Mom, if you knew how hard it was to adjust, how could you ignore my message? How could you side with Patrick when he decided to move on? How did you not move heaven and earth to find me? How could you leave Uncle Mac out of it?" she wiped her eyes and hated herself for getting so upset. "Please let me move on with my life."
Anna wiped her own eyes as Robin walked out and she smacked right into Patrick who was walking down the hall.
"Oh, hey," he stopped her and was immediately concerned when he saw her tears.
"Excuse me," she said and went to leave.
"Robin, wait, what happened?" he asked her softly.
"I have to go. Please," she said and felt a little dizzy. She went to sit on the chairs in the middle of the lobby and Patrick followed.
"What's going on? What can I do to help?"
She took a few deep breaths and wiped her eyes.
"Nothing. I'm fine," she said and looked up as Mark walked over.
"Robin? Are you ready?"
She smiled and stood up, smoothing her shirt.
"Hi Mark. I am, let's go," she took his arm and they walked away.
Anna walked out of the conference room and saw Robin walk away with Mark. She walked up to Patrick and he crossed his arms.
"This isn't over," he said.
XXXX
Mark walked Robin to his office and they walked inside. He handed her a bottle of water as she sat down and he could see she was upset.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently.
She took a drink and smiled.
"You're probably wondering what you're getting yourself into. I'm really not so high maintenance," she sighed.
He sat down on the chair in his office and looked at his hands.
"I like you. I was worried when Patrick told me you were married because I went through a really bad marriage where my wife cheated on me. I don't play games and I am not interested in anyone who isn't real. I don't mean to come on too strong, because I'm not looking at anything more than conversation and maybe a dinner or two, but I just don't want to be an idiot. I hope you understand that."
Robin liked him and his honesty.
"I can appreciate that. I am not looking to play any games, either. I think I need to explain a few things and hopefully you'll understand a little more. I need for you to let me get it all out before we talk."
He sat back and smiled.
"I'm listening."
"I was kidnapped about three years ago and held for almost two years," she began and his face turned white.
"What? Kidnapped? Are you okay?" he felt sick at the thought.
She smiled and he put his hands up.
"Sorry. Please continue."
"It's a long story and not one I want to get into, but I came home and a month or so after, I had an opportunity to help a friend, but it meant leaving my family again."
"And you went?" he asked.
"I did. It ended up being a trap and although I was able to help my friend, I was stuck in a situation where I was unable to get free. It was my own choice to leave, but I never intended to be held prisoner again. It was during that time that Patrick filed for divorce and it was finalized while I was still being held. Our marriage is over, but seeing me here again has been a shock to him. So much of what has happened to him and to our daughter is because of me, but I'm working hard on fixing my relationship with Emma. She's my little girl."
He exhaled and smiled.
"Can I talk?"
She blushed.
"Of course."
"Are you looking to get back together with Patrick?"
Robin thought of Sam and she shook her head.
"No. He moved on without me and I am trying to do the same. I have a lot of respect for him. He has done an amazing job with our daughter and I'm grateful for that. He is also a brilliant surgeon and it's always been an honor to watch him work. We will co parent, but other than that, I wish him well. I need to move on with my life, whatever that looks like."
"Okay. Thank you for telling me all of this," Mark smiled.
"Do you have any other questions?"
"A million, but I don't think you owe me any more of an explanation until I buy you dinner," he grinned. "How about tonight?"
She blushed again and felt a strange sensation, almost happiness. Then it faded.
"There's one more thing."
He waited.
"I'm HIV positive."
Mark was stunned.
"I'm sorry," Robin stood up and went to leave. "I know it's too much."
"No, Robin, wait, it isn't like that" he said and his eyes filled with tears. "It's just that, well, so is my son."
XXXX
Patrick was barking orders at the staff and he knew his terrible attitude came down to one thing.
Jealousy.
He was so damn jealous of Mark and Robin and he knew it was all his fault. He walked into his office and looked at the pictures Robin had seen on his desk. He picked up the one of him and Sam and Danny and Emma and he threw it in the garbage.
What was he thinking? He wasn't in love with Sam. She was beautiful and fun and he needed that. She made him remember his days of playing the field and she knew about Robin, so it wasn't something he had to explain.
"But then you didn't come. My mom didn't come. Jason didn't come. Nobody helped me and it just broke something. As angry as I was, I still believed, in a small way, that when I saw you, we would magically reconnect. I believed that you couldn't truly just give up on me. When I got away, I hitchhiked all the way home and I knew it was so dumb because Helena could be right there, waiting, like before. But I needed to get to you. I needed you to know how sorry I was and how I never meant to be gone for so long. I just wanted to see you because I knew somehow, we would be okay. I mean, we loved each other, beyond reason."
He put his head in his hands
"And you found me with Sam."
She wiped her eyes.
"But things weren't okay and I need to move forward now, Patrick. You need to allow me to forget how to love you."
Her words cut him like a knife and he knew she was right. He hadn't been fair. He was hurt and angry and he should have tried harder to get to her. He had Sam help him with Gabriel's death, but he never asked for help to find Robin. He acted like it was normal for Robin to just walk away.
He knew better. He knew how she was when she suffered from PPD. He knew how hard she was on herself. He knew it all and he did nothing.
He reverted back to his old ways. It was like his ego was the most important and he couldn't see past that.
The problem was that Robin was it for him. It was easy to be with Sabrina and Sam because was Robin wasn't there, reminding him every day of all he lost. He had learned to put her out of his mind and now that she was back, he couldn't deny it any longer.
There was a pounding on his door and he jumped, worried for a minute it was about Robin or Emma. He opened it and saw Sam there.
"Patrick! Jason collapsed and he is in the ER. I need your help, please!" she cried.
He hesitated and Sam grabbed his hands.
"Please. If I ever meant anything to you, please help him," she said.
Patrick nodded and grabbed his coat, following her to the ER. He froze when he saw Robin standing there, holding Jason's hand and soothing him. Sam glared at her and Patrick walked in.
"Give me the room, now," he said and Robin looked at him.
"I'm not going anywhere."
He glared at her and she met his gaze.
"Fine. Then I need," he was stopped when she cut him off.
"CT scan has been ordered and the latest scans are being pulled up. His EEG is in the chart and his evoked potentials are being printed."
Patrick raised his eyebrows and smirked.
"Why was I called if you know it all?"
She didn't skip a beat.
"I don't know. I certainly didn't have you paged."
He smiled and she turned to Jason and held his hand.
"You go be a doctor. I'll be the human."
He looked over the scans and smirked.
"The doctor in me is what will save him."
"You keep telling yourself that," she said and they both jumped when Jason began to seize. They both worked together as if nothing had changed. Robin anticipated every move Patrick made and he had forgotten what it was like to have her work by his side.
They got him stabilized and he was taken for the CT scan. Everyone left the room and Sam went to wait by radiology. Patrick threw his gloves away and turned to see Robin sitting on the bed, looking at the empty spot where Jason had been. He walked to her and touched her shoulder and she jumped.
"Oh, sorry," he said and she turned to him, her whole body shaking.
"Hey, it's okay," he said softly.
She nodded and crossed her arms around her waist. So much was running through her mind. So many feelings and concerns. What Mark had told her was at the forefront.
"I need to go," she said in barely a whisper.
"Well, I'm going to the roof for some air. Before you go, care to join me?"
"Why?" she asked.
"Perspective. No pressure, just a moment or two to breathe."
She went to accept when Sam came back in and looked at them.
"Excuse me. Please call if Jason needs me," Robin said and left.
Patrick kicked the garbage can and Sam looked at him.
"Why would he need her? I'm here and that's all that he needs," she said almost to herself.
"Excuse me, Sam," Patrick said and went to walk out.
"Wait. What do you think is happening? Why did he collapse?"
"I'll know more after the scan is done. I'll be back," he said and walked away, desperately needing that perspective he talked about.