When they reconvene later back at the hotel, things seem to be back to normal. Missy is a little quieter than usual, her smiles a little tighter, but Theo stays close to her side, and they all have a good time.
River and Helen tell some rather hilarious stories from around when they met - it had been during an absolute shitshow involving their mutual friend Johan (who is famous for forgetting the lyrics to his own songs and making up new ones on the spot, much to the chagrin of his other band members) and his recording company. Helen had been an administrative assistant at the time, while her girlfriend Liv was and still is a head technician on Johan's crew as well as the trained medic on site.
They have the whole group in hysterics, and things feel good. One by one, everyone disperses - Helen and River back to their room, Clara and Ashildr back to theirs, Jack to wherever it is that he goes - until it's just the core four left.
That's when Bill notices Missy's phone vibrating, and reaches for it.
"Missy, your phone," she says, grabbing it for her. "Do you actually have other friends outside of this group? Because I-"
Whatever she'd expected for a response, the panic in Missy's eyes is about as far from it as possible. She snatches the phone from Bill's hand before she can look at the caller ID. After a glance back at Bill that seems to reassure Missy that she hadn't seen anything, Missy relaxes a little.
"It's my sobriety sponsor," Missy replies, voice tight. "That's all. Hence: private."
Theo's expression as he regards her is impossible to decipher.
"Does this sobriety sponsor know about the colossal number of weed brownies the four of us consumed last week?" Nardole asks, frowning at her.
"Of course, it's only the coke I'm staying away from these days, remember?" Missy says, rolling her eyes. "I'm of a superior constitution and mind, I can be effectively sober and technically high and drunk out of my mind."
"I don't think that's how it works," Bill tries to argue.
"Well, don't worry your little head about it, Pottsie, trust me, I'm a rehab expert, remember?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
Bill trails off as it becomes apparent that Missy is no longer listening to her. The older brunette is getting up and putting the phone to her ear, walking away at a rapid pace in the direction of her bedroom. Bill can't make out what she's saying, but Missy's voice sounds too soft to be dealing with a sobriety sponsor - not sarcastic or mocking in any way. Soft like… she cares about whoever is on the other end.
Having all but forgotten, Bill recalls the phone call from last night. It's the same manner of speech - the same person, surely, since Bill finds it hard enough to believe there's one person outside of their immediate social and professional circles that she talks to like that, let alone multiple.
So who is mysterious person that Missy seems to be hiding? And does Theo know or care?
"Do you know who that phone call was last night? Missy's sobriety sponsor? Was that actually true?"
At Bill's questions, Theo pauses in chewing his waffle, and River's coffee stops halfway to her mouth. They're in the suite having breakfast, Missy and Nardole having not risen yet, hence why Bill has taken advantage of their absence.
"No idea," Theo says, shrugging. "It's Missy, it could have been anyone. She has strange friends in strange places."
"So she doesn't have, like, another… partner," Bill says slowly.
River snorts. "Not as far as I'm aware."
"No, she doesn't," Theo says with amusement. "A couple of friends with benefits in cities around the world, perhaps, but that's about it."
He sounds so effortlessly sure, and Bill wants to believe him. The problem is, that she keeps hearing Missy's I love you to that person on the phone, playing over and over in her head. Is it possible that Theo just doesn't know?
"She sounded different with them, whoever they were," Bill says. "Like she really cares about them."
"Then perhaps it is her sobriety sponsor, they've certainly been through a lot together," River mutters, making Theo frown at her. She doesn't seem to notice, or show any hint of remorse for the statement. Which, given Missy's history with addiction, is understandable enough.
"Whatever it is, Bill, I think Missy is entitled to a few secrets, we shouldn't pry," Theo says.
"A few more on top of whatever her deal with Saxon is, you mean," Bill replies.
Theo and River both wince, the former more than the latter.
"That's different," they say, almost in unison.
"Wait, so you know about the Saxon mess details?" Bill asks River, not sure if she's surprised or not. On one hand, River always seems to know everything, but on the other, if it's as personal as it seems, it's hard to see Missy being overly keen on sharing the information with River.
River shrugs and sips at her coffee. "I'm Theo's wife, of course I know. But I'm not one to poke my nose into it."
"That's literally all you do with anything, ever."
River shrugs, making a face. "Well, here I don't. Strictly not my business."
"I understand why you're curious, Bill, but it would be appreciated if you didn't press the issue," Theo says, sighing and getting up, heading to his room.
"Fine," Bill says, sighing. "Whatever."
River clasps her shoulder as she too gets up. "Trust me, sweetie, he's right. It's for the best."
"They've been acting so weird lately."
"It's not their fault, there's been a lot going on," River says, with a little sigh. She strokes back a curl of Bill's hair. "I'm sorry if you're feeling left out, sweetie. It's just all very complicated."
"I'm not stupid-"
"And they don't think you are," River assures her, hand coming to rest on her cheek, eyes intent and warm. "That I promise you." She makes a face. "Well, perhaps Missy, in her lower moments, but she's like that about everyone. My point is, that they think the world of you. But sometimes, people have secrets, just because they're private, and that's all there is to it."
She leaves, probably to follow Theo or else seek out Helen.
Bill is left with nothing to do but steal what remains of Theo's waffles and eat them while wondering what the hell kind of secret she almost got a glimpse of on that phone screen, and wishing she'd never seen anything. These secrets are starting to pile up, and she hates it more than she can ever say without sounding like a petulant preteen wanting to be included in everything.
Between their fans and actual critical reviewers, the reception to their concert with River is overwhelmingly positive, praise pouring in about the separate performances as well as the band's chemistry with each other and River. Some reviewers seem a bit iffy about all the kissing/flirting, which is understandable since the general public isn't exactly super keen on polyamory as a concept just yet, but most reviewers seem to think it all a rather wonderful joke, or method of entertainment.
The Songsmith shippers are out full force now, after getting a proper look at their ship together onstage. Bill can't even blame them, really - the flirting had been so blatant.
songsmithfy - ok so just saying but that flirting was so obvious
queenbaloo (replying to songsmithfy) - they sounded like an adorable newly married couple or something tbh (buuuut it's their business so that's all I'm gonna say)
doctahpants (replying to queenbaloo) - look i'm not gonna argue that there was serious flirting going on there, but the Missodore was real too
doctahpants (replying to doctahpants) - did you see how he just kissed her back automatically even though he was really surprised
girlinablackdress (replying to doctahpants)- you guys do realise they're probably faking all of it right, or at least staging it, we have no way of knowing what the truth is
yikes_lou (replying to girlinablackdress) - you're probably right but also Missy 100% rocked Bill's gay ass world with that kiss, just saying, there's no faking that
crystal_ss (replying to yikes_lou) - guess we're not focusing on the amazing performance any time soon then?
spaceacepupper (replying to crystal_ss) - the performance was sooooooooooo good!
actualellewoods - River Song is QUEEN did you see my baby she slayed so hard
spacedracula - Event Horizon's lyrics remain some of the best I've ever heard. So much nuance and yet they never feel superfluous.
More importantly to Bill, thanks to Helen's help her song is actually starting to take shape into something that doesn't suck. In the meantime, she's tried scouring twitter for any sign of Star Girl, but to no avail.
Why does this girl not seem to exist anywhere, except at the concerts? She isn't just a figment of Bill's imagination, right? She's sure the others have at least glimpsed her.
When she broaches the subject with Missy, the other woman just laughs.
"Oh, she's real, Pottsie, I've seen her too, several times," Missy assures her, clapping her on the back. "You're just as sane as I am."
That isn't as reassuring as Missy probably intended it.
They're flying to America for the next leg of the tour, and things still seem to be a bit off between Missy and Theo, because Missy has opted to sit next to Bill for the duration of the flight. Admittedly, they're on a private jet, but it's a small private jet that has to hold them, Clara and Ashildr.
Ashildr has claimed three seats for themself, stretched out like a cat, wearing sunglasses even though it's dark outside and dim inside, and has been typing furiously on their phone for several hours, occasionally cursing or laughing or punching the air.
"What are you actually doing?" Bill asks them, frowning.
"Online game of Dungeons and Dragons, with a group of fans," Ashildr answers. "I'm a halfling barbarian and I'm about to kill this basilisk - fuck,I rolled a one. Stupid dice bot."
"With fans?"
"They don't know it's me, they think I'm a casual Missodore shipper called Ashley," they say, smirking. "I've spent months infiltrating their ranks. Just in case we ever need a man inside the fandom."
"I think you're actually the most Slytherin person I've ever met," Bill says, amazed. "Including Missy."
"Thank you," Ashildr says, beaming with pride, before making an apologetic face. "Now, not to be rude, but I need to come up with a creative solution to this basilisk problem, and need to concentrate."
Bill knows a dismissal when she hears it, and goes back to her seat.
"Hey, Pottsie," Missy says, smiling at her as she sits down. "How are things?" Her gaze drifts to Theo, who is sitting across the way, his fingers ghosting across the table in front of him while his other hand is furiously scribbling. "Ooh. That looks like a new song."
"Are you mad at him?" Bill asks, not caring if it seems abrupt and out of nowhere.
"What?" Missy blinks at her. "No. No, not really. There are simply… some topics of conversation I'd prefer to steer clear of. We both have a lot to think about."
"Right, and that doesn't sound ominous at all."
"It's nothing you need to worry about, dear," Missy assures her, her hand coming to rest on Bill's leg, absently stroking her inner thigh with the lightest touch of her fingertips.
Bill nearly has an aneurysm. She shoves Missy's hand away, and stares at her incredulously. "Okay, seriously, Missy, you can't just do that. It's called, you know, consent. I know you know I'm always super into it, but that isn't the point. I cannot handle you doing that."
Missy blinks at her, looking strangely astounded as her eyes go to her hand and then Bill's leg. When she speaks, her voice is quiet, and laden with guilt. "Oh. Yes. Of course. I - I'm sorry, I didn't even realise what I-"
She flexes her hand, frowning, seeming almost disgusted with it, and balls it into a fist and rests it on her own leg.
"Hey, it's fine," Bill says quickly, worried about her reaction. "Or, you know, it wasn't exactly but-" She takes a deep breath and makes a face. "You're really, really gorgeous, and you're always touching me, and it's just confusing for me because you're my friend, you know?"
"Yes," Missy says simply, holding her gaze. "I do. I know I take it too far, sometimes, my silly teasing. I'm... sorry."
"It's okay, I know you're just being an arse," Bill replies, chuckling.
"Good."
Bill, on a whim, leans forward to kiss Missy's cheek fleetingly, and it's worth it for the utter bewilderment on Missy's face. "I know you've got a heart in there somewhere. You're just… particular about it. It's fine."
Missy touches her cheek, eyes wide in that confused way of hers. "I… well." She sniffs. "Perhaps. Don't go shouting it from any rooftops." She shifts in her seat and pulls an eye mask down over her eyes, leaning back in her seat and ending the discussion.
They end up falling asleep on each other again.
The morning after they arrive, they are guests on one of the most popular morning shows in the whole of the United States. It means getting up at a hellish hour and having to somehow try and look alive, but luckily there's makeup people for that.
Now, they are side of stage, and Bill has had coffee and tea, and things are good.
The Good Morning Peri show's somewhat cheesy music starts up, and the live audience starts cheering. From the opposite side of the stage to them, the one and only Perpugilliam Brown strides into the center, the cameras trained on her.
"Hey everyone!" she says chirpily. "I hope everybody is having a Peri Good Morning!"
"Wow," Bill mutters, but the audience goes nuts for it, and Peri is laughing like a delighted dork who is far too pleased with herself. Nevermind, Peri is adorable, and Bill is gay, the horrific pun is now hilarious.
"It's her signature thing," Nardole murmurs. "I think it's sweet."
"She makes it work," Bill agrees.
"You're just saying that because she's pretty," Missy says, rolling her eyes.
"Now, I have some very special guests with me this morning, they're newly arrived all the way from good old England, it's Event Horizon!"
They enter the stage, waving and smiling at the cheering people in the seats, and across to Peri, who clasps their hands and gestures for them to sit on her long peach coloured couch.
"So, Theodore Smith, Missy Masters, Nardole Dellora and Bill Potts," Peri says, grinning as she sits down in a smaller chair opposite to them. The names fall from her tongue with ease, somehow not actually sounding rehearsed. "The stuff of legend."
Theo chuckles modestly. "Careful, Peri, you'll give us egos."
"Oh yes, because there's absolutely none of those already sitting on this couch," Nardole says dryly, eyes remaining on Theo and Missy to make his point.
"Sorry, and you aren't just as bad?" Bill scoffs.
"Well, yeah, but it's a bit difficult to side eye myself, isn't it?"
Peri just laughs. "You guys have such a famous dynamic. So much sass, but you guys really do seem like you're super close, not just coworkers."
"It's an intimate setting, in the end," Missy says, shrugging. "You're always up in each other's space, especially on a tour like this. I imagine it might be possible to do it with people you can't stand, but god, why would you want to? Why put your sanity on the line like that?"
"It probably sounds really cliched or whatever, but they are honestly my best friends in the world," Bill says. "We're family, now. And no matter what happens with the band, I know that won't change."
"That's so sweet," Peri says, after the audience 'awws' a bit. "Now, have you guys ever been to the States before?"
"Oh yeah, loads of times," Theo says.
"A few, yeah," Missy agrees.
Nardole shakes his head. "Not at all. I'm thrilled to finally make it here. Bill's a newbie too, we're taking it all in together like the tourists we are."
"First show tomorrow night, how are you feeling?" Peri asks.
"I guess I'm curious to see whether the American fans are as mental as the ones back home," Bill says, before lifting a hand and adding, "and let me make it clear that I'm saying that, like, with complete affection. I love every single one of them, they're the greatest."
"We've actually got a couple here, I think!"
That's how they end up chatting to some rather excited fans in the show audience, who stand up and get to say their little bit, and they're all beaming by the time they get back to the interview.
"So, I guess it's too much to ask that River Song might turn up at a couple of the concerts here?" Peri asks the group.
"She's a busy woman, we were lucky to get her for even one night," Theo replies. "We're on our own, over here, she's busy with her own tour coming up back in the UK."
"Fair enough," Peri laughs. "I know everyone loved your onstage dynamic with her - you especially, Theo. You know about all the people out there who think that River Song might secretly be a beau of yours, I'm sure?"
"Oh yes, I'm aware of the Songsmith lot," Theo chuckles, shaking his head. "But you know what the internet is like these days. Bill assures me that two people only need to make eye contact for somebody out there to be rooting for it as a romance. People will read into anything, and the fact is that I've always had a lot of female friends, and anyone who hasn't realised this by now hasn't been paying enough attention."
It's a fairly clever way of refuting the question without actually lying. Bill is impressed. But then, they're all getting fairly good at that, with how intense their fanbase has been getting about this lately.
"So if not River, then perhaps…" Peri looks from him to Missy, who just throws her head back and laughs.
"Me and Theo? I dunno, I've known him since he was a gangly ten year old, pretty sure his weird knees are permanently etched into my brain," Missy says dubiously. "Like, sure, he's pretty, but at what cost?"
Theo simply rolls his eyes.
"Also, Bill's probably prettier," Missy adds, making several members of the audience cheer. "Probably. I don't know, I'm always surrounded by pretty people, it's very distracting, I don't know how I'm supposed to write songs with all of that going on around me all the time, honestly."
"Don't trust anything she says," Bill says to Peri.
"Wasn't going to," Peri replies, grinning, and Bill grins back.
Once they're back at the hotel room and Bill has mostly recovered from the hug she received from Peri (who really is very lovely and pretty and soft and goddamnit), she grabs her notebook and gets back to work on her song, keeping Helen's notes and words of advice on another page for reference.
She's feeling gay inspired, and with a stupid amount of nonsensical hope that Star Girl might still be in the audience even in another country, since she'd followed them around the UK. That hope and silly fluttering in her chest makes for excellent song material, so her pen scribbles furiously.
At this rate, the song might actually be finished soon.
When she needs a break, she wanders out into the suite's living area and finds the others watching television (they've all just needed this day to finish up dealing with the jet lag), watching the coverage of a live performance of Bad Wolves and Beetles.
The band iss well known, loved for its upbeat song and dramatic storylines woven into the lyrics of their songs. James Noble, the frontman, was a level of guitarist that even Theo could respect, and Bill had been crushing on literally all of the other members for a couple of years now. Rose Tyler, who wears a high ponytail like it was favourite hat, always had great eyeliner, and never stops grinning the whole time she's drumming up a storm. Martha Jones, bass guitarist and possibly the most beautiful woman Bill knows to exist. Donna Noble, James' older sister, takes the keys and makes them her own, utilising the various synth sounds without breaking a sweat, yet always strangely humble in interviews despite her loud personality. James and Rose are one of the better known celebrity couples in the world - the number of Instagram followers they have is insane, because they're always posting disgustingly cute shit.
Bill likes their sound, and she's wonderfully gay for Rose Tyler's voice, so naturally she has two whole albums of theirs on her phone.
A knock at the door has none of them moving to answer it, before Nardole eventually gets up, grumbling all the while about being their butler or something. Jack is at the door, and presents Nardole with a small, rectangular package, and gives a grin and a salute before heading off.
Nardole heads back to the couch and drops the package in Theo's lap.
"It's for you," he says.
Theo lifts an eyebrow, his hand touching it curiously until his eyes spark with faint recognition when they see something else on the packaging surface - Bill thinks it's the bit where his name is written. Is it something in the address? It looks like a proper package, how could it have been delivered when they only just arrived? What postal service is actually that accurate?
"What, what is-" Missy trails off as she leans in to get a better look, an unreadable expression crossing her face. "... don't open that in here, Thete, just take it to your room-"
Theo ignores her and starts opening the package. Inside is a small, hardcover notebook. The cover design is a badger, and a small smile curls Theo's lips as he runs his fingers across the smooth, polished surface.
"Oh," Missy murmurs.
"Alright?" Theo asks her, with faint exasperation.
Missy turns away, reaching for her wine glass, a look of tired, petty bitterness on her face. "Yeah. Fine. You know I was only-" She waves her hand. "You couldn't have known what would be inside. You shouldn't have-"
"You two are being weird again," Bill tells them, frowning. "Who the hell could send you a package here? Do you have some kind of weird stalker, Theo?"
Theo just rolls his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Bill. Do I look like the sort of person who would inspire stalkers?"
Missy mutters something about 'River Song' under her breath that everyone present decides to ignore.
"Seriously, though, don't tell me you're keeping weird secrets too," Bill tries to say, but he just shakes his head.
"Goodnight, Bill," he says firmly, with a little smile. "Missy. Nardole. I'm going to bed with my lovely new notebook, to dream up some new song ideas." He wiggles said notebook to emphasise his point. "Who knows? Our next big single might end up between these pages."
"Will your door be open?" Missy asks absently.
"I suppose so."
"Good."
Bill tries not to think about why Missy wants to know that, because she has a highly visual mind and there are certain images she never wants to have in said mind. However, when she's actually walked in on them twice, it's a little difficult to keep those images at bay.
She gets up and finds the whiskey bottle and pours herself a generous measure.
"You sharing that?" Nardole asks, and so she pours him a glass too, and they toast to new countries and experiences.
Tomorrow, she will find out if Star Girl is willing to follow her over oceans as well as counties. Tonight, she will drink enough to ensure that she's asleep by the time that any sex noises might start coming from Theodore's room.
Thanks so much for reading, and for the feedback so far! Let me know what you thought!