IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!
This is NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!
Also, I suggest you read this chapter slowly and pay attention to the formatting (italics). It might be less confusing. There are no errors in the formatting. I made sure of that. Everything is the way it's supposed to be and there for a reason:) Enjoy!
Not infected.
Ya hear that?
You're okay.
Bay scoffed weakly, barely shaking her head, where it rested against Daryl's shoulder, while he gave her a piggy back ride. "Yeah, I heard him, but we're all infected. You're wrong." she slurred quietly.
"Sweetheart? Who's wrong? What are you talking about?" Daryl asked her.
"He keeps saying I'm not infected, but he's wrong."
"Who? Who keeps saying that?" No answer "Bay? Who says you're not infected?"
"Rick."
"Rick hasn't said anything in a while, baby girl..." Daryl frowned worriedly and shared a concerned look with their leader.
"She's keeps passing out... saying these things in between..." Rick sighed forlornly.
"Her head trauma is extensive. Way more than I thought. There was no way to tell without a scan." Hershel explained in his slow, drawn-out manner. "Nothing we can do... at the prison, we might have been able to save her life, but now..." he trailed off and took a deep breath, trying not to cry while they were still outside and vulnerable.
"Shut up. She's fine." Daryl was lashing out, because he was terrified of what was going to happen. He knew that she was absolutely not fine. Now that she was starting to hallucinate and get delirious, he wasn't able to ignore the ugly truth anymore. But even though he wasn't able to ignore it, he was still able to deny it to some degree. "She just needs to rest. She's dehydrated. We gotta make our way to one of 'em cabins we talked about, then we can take proper care of her."
Rick didn't see a reason to get into an argument with Daryl right now. It wouldn't help anything. They had to stick together, because their situation couldn't be much bleaker at the moment, and all they had left was each other. Therefore he nodded in agreement, then he addressed the others. "You know the drill. You see somethin' edible, you grab it." he instructed, while they kept trekking through the thicket.
Pat, Merle and Daryl knew the woods surrounding Dalton, like they knew the back of their hands. That was their luck, because they knew where the cabins were located. Unfortunately it had still taken them roughly two whole days to get away from that massive herd. They had been like sheep, having to change direction constantly to avoid lengthy fights with the mindless, flesh-eating shepherds. They were all getting weaker, hungrier and thirstier, and their feet hurt, but the hope of finding shelter soon made them pull themselves together once more. The men were taking turns carrying Bay, Daryl shot a squirrel here and there, and everybody was gathering berries and grapes whenever they saw some. After another hour of walking, they finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, this time in form of a wooden cabin.
"Alright!" Pat was grinning from ear to ear. "Remember this place, D?"
"Sure do." Daryl grunted in a strained voice. He wasn't able to share Pat's enthusiasm. He was happy they would have shelter for the night, but he was too worried about Bay to be breaking out into a victory dance.
They broke into the abandoned house, where Carol ushered Lori to the couch, so the pregnant woman would be able to put her feet up and rest. Daryl carried Bay into the tiny bedroom and carefully deposited her on the bed. She was out cold, once again, but that didn't stop him from trying to get her re-hydrated. He unscrewed the top of his canteen, then he gently lifted her head and slowly poured little sips of water into her mouth. He wasn't sure how much good it would do, but he had to try.
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"Almost there, Annie." Mamaw Eva smiled down at Bay. "The pain is gone, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is." Bay murmured sleepily.
"That's because you started to accept it. You endured it. You stopped fighting it." Eva leaned down and softly kissed Bay's temple. "Good things are coming to you, my beautiful girl. I promise. You're on a good way. You're on the right path now."
"I never wanted to give up..."
"You didn't give up. You're doing the opposite. I told you that you kept choosing the wrong path. You kept fighting to get back to them. That was the wrong fight. You're fighting the right fight now. You have my word. It won't be much longer."
"I know." Bay nodded.
She felt it in her bones. Her time was almost up. Eva was right about Bay having accepted it. Over the course of the past days, while drifting in and out of consciousness and being a burden to the group, Bay had accepted her fate, and ever since she had, the pain had lessened with each attack. The blinding white light was still uncomfortable, but it no longer hurt her. She started to perceive the beeping noise as almost calming. A bit like a countdown of sorts, telling her that it was almost time to let go completely. She was starting to be able to distinguish the voices. It was Daryl, Hershel, Rick, Lori, Erin, Pat, Beth,... all of them. They were inside her head. They were with her. Maybe her imagination having mercy on her. Making her imagine that her friends and loved ones were guiding her, making it easier, making her feel not so alone during the last moments. Her throat still hurt, but she was able to make noises. Maybe she would be able to say goodbye now. Maybe she would be able to talk to them while the white light would consume her. That's what she assumed would happen. People always talked about a white light when they were close to death.
Not much longer now.
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
Bay woke up about an hour after they had gotten to the cabin. Daryl was by her side, gently stroking her face with his fingertips when she came to. "Ya need ta eat, baby girl. Some berries, yeah?"
"No..." Bay refused with a weak shake of her head. "The kids... Lori... need it more."
"Right now you need it more." Daryl insisted. "And ya know that ya might be knocked up, too."
In a (recently) rare moment of clarity, Bay looked up at Daryl and tried to give him a comforting smile. "Even if I am, it doesn't matter anymore. We both know that... We know what's gonna happen... You know it... I can see it all over your face."
"Stop."
"No. We can't run from this. It's happening. Don't waste our last moments together with being in denial."
"Jesus, Bay..." Daryl sighed shakily. "How the fuck did we end up here?"
"Series of unfortunate events."
Daryl scoffed at that as tears started to pool in his eyes and run down his cheeks. "Should have taken you with us to the store. Shouldn't have let ya out of my sight."
"It wouldn't have made a difference. Mamaw Eva said something and she was right. This world keeps pushing me out one way or another. It will keep trying, because I'm not supposed to be here. I don't belong here."
"It wasn't real, Bay. The woman's been dead for 12 years. You belong here. With me. You're mine, Bay. You belong with me and I'm here,... so you fucking belong here."
"It wasn't the same, though, was it?" Bay smiled with tears of her own glistening in her eyes. "We love each other very much, but we weren't able to get back what we used to have. Something was different. Too different."
"That why ya ain't fighting no more? 'Cause it ain't the same it used ta be and you don't like that?" Daryl lashed out slightly. He was angry at the world and he felt so damn helpless sitting there, watching Bay slowly slip away from him.
No. You know that's not true. It's just my time to go, Daryl. It's okay. I'm not scared. You're with me, in here..." she tapped her fingers against her head, " and in here." she tapped her heart next. "It's okay... I'm ready." She really was. She was at peace with what was happening. She was also relieved that the fight for survival would be over. She wasn't happy that she was leaving Daryl behind, but like she had told him, it was her time to go.
"You're ready... That's great..." he cried with sarcasm dripping from his words. "But what if I ain't ready? Can't let ya go, Bay. Just can't."
"You have to. You don't have a choice."
"Fuck, baby girl..." his voice cracked and he finally broke down into sobs. His broad shoulders shook as his head hung between them, with his chin on his chest as his sadness and desperation overwhelmed him and made him cry uncontrollably for a little while. Bay put her hand on his knee and tried to console him, but she knew it was not helping. Daryl eventually slipped off the bed, kneeling on the floor and covering her torso with his. Hugging her to him with all his might, while he hid his face in the crook of her neck and wet her skin with his hot, salty tears.
Bay weakly wrapped her arms around his shaking form and rested her mouth against his ear. "I love you so much, Daryl. Always will, I promise." her words were slightly slurred, because unconsciousness was tugging at her again, pulling her back into the darkness.
"Bay, please... please..."
His pleading was the last thing she heard before she passed out again. She didn't hear how much longer he begged for her to live. It broke the heart of everyone who was close enough to hear, even Merle's. Daryl was his little brother and he loved him. He didn't enjoy seeing him suffer. Losing his girl for the second time, this time forever, was sure to make him hurt for a good, long time.
Another couple of hours later, Hershel lifted his head from Bay's chest, after he had checked her breathing, and looked at Daryl with sad eyes. Bay stopped breathing more frequently now. He knew she would stop drawing air into her lungs altogether very, very soon. "It's almost over."
"That s'pposed to help me?" Daryl grunted despondently.
"No, but it will help her. It's good that she's going quick."
"If you can call 2 days quick...then yeah... Ain't even been able to give her nothin' for the damn pain."
"I don't think she feels it anymore. She's too far gone already."
"When's it stop hurtin'?" Daryl asked quietly, referring to his own pain, which hadn't even really, fully set in yet, but already, he was ready to crumble.
"It never stops, Daryl. It will get better over time, but it will never truly stop hurting." Hershel explained and carefully smoothed some hair out of Bay's forehead. Then he got up and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I love you, Bayanne. We all do. Thank you for everything you gave us."
Hershel said his goodbyes. And he wasn't the only one. One by one they came in, sat with her for a while, often in silence, most of them crying and kissing her face, before they left the room. It was killing Daryl, because having everyone say goodbye to her made it unbearably real. This was no dream, not this time. She was leaving him. If she was pregnant, then both of them were leaving him. Again... He didn't know how to go on after today. He didn't know if he would survive this time, but he didn't even care. All he wanted, was to be with her. So once everybody had said goodbye, Daryl climbed into bed with her, wrapped himself around her completely, and held her, hoping she would know that he was there until the very last second.
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"Remember when we went to this cabin for Sam's birthday party?" Daryl asked her, making her smile when she heard his voice. The white light was back and she knew that this was it. She was so happy that Daryl's voice would be the last thing she would ever hear... that he was the one who was with her in this moment. "Well, we didn't exactly go, we kinda broke in... You remember that?"
"Yeah."
"Dunno why that party popped into my head today, but there was this guy..."
"Benjamin Kennish." Bay finished his sentence with a laugh.
"Benjamin fucking Kennish... Wouldn't leave ya alone."
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"He wasn't so bad." Bay smiled.
"He was alright. But carryin' a big fat torch for you. I mean, can't blame the guy, but it was damn annoying. Kept stayin' close to ya the whole night."
"I was with the girls, that's why... Wouldn't have dared if you would have been with me the whole time."
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"You were with the girls, but I was close enough to hear what he said. How he told ya he regretted never having spoken up. That he always wanted ya to be his girlfriend..."
"I've known him since kindergarten... was never like that. Not for me."
"He said you should give him a call if you and I ever broke up, you remember that?"
"Yeah."
"And then came that moment that sealed shit for me. You told him that would never happen, because you and I would never break up... The way you said it... In front of everybody... the way ya looked... I knew ya meant it... I felt it... Can't explain it, but it meant the fucking world, ya know?"
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"I know." Bay smiled and heard the beeping noise get louder and clearer, while the light got even lighter. This was it, she knew it. She stepped towards the light, but then she heard a gasp. She didn't know why, but it confused her. It made her stop, and stare at the white light with a frown.
"Bay?"
"Yes?" she was even more confused when she realized how horse and croaky her voice sounded.
Another gasp. "Holy shit... did you just... did you just say something? Bay? Baby girl, can ya hear me?"
"Yes." she forced out as confusion took over even more.
"Oh God, you're awake... " she heard him breathe in awe, shortly before she heard his voice again, but this time it wasn't right next to her. "Nurse! Nurse! She's awake!"
She heard footsteps and she heard more voices. "Step aside, sweetie. Give us some room." she heard a familiar female voice say.
And then, all of a sudden, the light flashed even brighter in her eyes, making her wince for a second, before she started blinking and her eyes started focusing. The white light started morphing into something different. Still white, and there was still light, but she started to realize, that it was a white ceiling, with a fluorescent lamp attached to it. A face appeared in her line of vision, a round and pale, but friendly and female face. The woman's voice was familiar, but her face was not. "Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty." The woman smiled.
Bay frowned even more, blinking several more times before she startled, when another face appeared, this time the one of a man. "My name is Dr. Rick Grimes. You're at Hamilton Medical in Dalton."
Rick?! Bay stared at the man with wide eyes. He sounded like Rick, but he didn't look like Rick at all. This Rick Grimes was a young, sandy blonde and overweight doctor with brown, horn-rimmed glasses. That's when she realized that the female voice she had heard, had been Carol's voice. Her eyes dashed over to the nurse and Bay squinted at her name tag. Nurse Carol... What the hell?
"Do you remember your name?" Dr. Grimes asked.
"Bayanne Moore."
"Do you know what year it is?"
"2010... no wait, 2011 by now?" Bay croaked out, making Dr. Grimes and Nurse Carol share a look.
"Miss Moore, it's still 1999. You and many others were victims of a drive-by shooting downtown in front of the medical building. We placed you in a medically induced coma to give your injuries a chance to heal better. You were only asleep for a week." Dr. Grimes explained. "Do you remember any of that?"
Bay wasn't really able to answer. She had no idea what was happening. Was this a dream? Was this heaven? Or hell? "Murray bridge... I had an accident on Murray bridge..."
"Murray bridge?" Daryl spoke up from somewhere behind the nurse. "Baby girl, you ain't been out of Dalton in weeks... Nowhere near Murray Bridge..."
"Daryl? What's happening?" she tried to look past the nurse, until finally, she stepped aside to make room for Daryl. When he stepped up to the bed with a teary-eyed smile, Bay looked at him like he'd grown three heads. "How's this possible?" she whispered in shock. Daryl had long and shaggy blond hair, he was fresh faced, pale, no wrinkles and no facial hair... younger... He looked exactly like he had the morning he had dropped her off in front of the medical building. He even wore the same clothes... "What is going on?"
"You got shot, baby girl. They did surgery on ya and then put ya in this coma a week ago. They started lettin' ya wake up yesterday, but ya put up a good fight. Wanted to sleep some more, I reckon." Daryl laughed and quickly wiped at a tear that had escaped his right eye. "Was a damn long week. Shit, sweetheart, it's so good ta see ya with yer eyes open."
"But... Rick... Carol... the group. We were at the prison. Helicopter came... it's 2011... or 2010... I don't know... I was dying..." Bay uttered helplessly. She had no idea what was real and what not.
The nurse smiled and gently squeezed her hand. "Just a coma dream. You weren't in a 'real' coma. The drugs made you sleep for a week, and people who sleep, dream. It's okay. It will all come back to you soon." Nurse Carol squeezed her hand once more, before she addressed Daryl. "This is a normal reaction. She's confused. It might take a while until she understands that the dreams weren't real and that this is actually the reality. It's not scientifically proven, but a lot of patients report that the induced coma was like a nightmare they hadn't been able to wake up from."
Daryl paled even more at that. This was the first time he had heard about that little fact. "You sayin' she had nightmares 24/7 for a whole week?"
"It's possible. We'll know more tomorrow, I'm sure."
The doctor cleared his throat. "Alright, Miss Moore. You're vitals look good. We'll talk some more about your injuries when your head cleared up some more. We'll be back to check on you soon."
"She can have some water, but slow sips, okay?" She handed Daryl a plastic cup with a straw in it, before she left with the doctor.
"You left..." Bay mumbled.
"What?"
"You left with Merle. He got in trouble, took my money and you both left."
"No." Daryl told her in a gentle voice as he finally took her hand in his. "You must have dreamed it, sweetheart."
"I lost everything."
"You didn't. Nothing happened. I'm here. Ain't seen Merle since before the shooting, but your money's still here. It's at our place... safe and sound."
"The apartment? I still have it?"
"Yes. It's like the doctor said. It's been a week. I dropped you off at the gynecologist. You wanted to get birth control, remember? Next thing I know there's reports about shots fired on the radio."
"You never left?"
"Nah. Been here all week. I would never leave ya, Bay. Never." he promised and pulled her hand up to his oh so damn soft lips. No scratchy facial hair, just smooth soft lips pressing against the back of her hand. And just like that, Bay spontaneously burst into tears as the overwhelming reality crashed down on her. It had all been just a horrible nightmare.
"It was one ongoing nightmare that I couldn't awake from... It took me MUCH longer to heal from the imagery in that coma than it did from the physical injuries."
-former coma patient
Thank you for reading! And OMG please tell me what you think!
I'm hella nervous about this one, lol.
To the ones who are still a little confused and want clarification: Yes, the ZA was just Bay's coma dream. Everything from the moment Daryl drops her off for her doctor's appointment in Chapter 21 on, was just Bay dreaming in her medically induced coma. It was always the plan to have the story "end" in the real (or in this case, AU) world again and have it all just be a coma dream. (Yes, I briefly wrote His Walls 2.0, because I was so frustrated with the show that I no longer wanted to write ZA, but I returned to the original plan after a little break.) The revelation now happened a lot sooner than I thought, due to me going back to work much sooner than I thought.
More questions will be answered in the next chapter(s)
Once again, this is NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. I know a lot of readers jumped ship during the last 2 or 3 chapters, but thank you to for reading that far, and thank you to everyone who is still on board and still enjoys this story. I promise there will be smut again soon;-)
Special thanks to
DarylDixon'sLover
butrrfly023 (You knew this would happen, right?;-) )
TheFaceOfAlison
EastDenise
wabi-sabi1090
PropertyOfMr.E.C (I LOVE new reviewers! Hello!)
redangel2463
trixi23
I'm a Nerd and Proud
cemmia
ElsaEditorial
MollyMayhem84
krissyg49
AkariWolfPrincess (I can never write the dots, because FFnet turns it into a link and edits it out)