Chapter Twenty-Two:
Patrick sat on the floor and held Robin. It was the first time she had allowed him to touch her and he was so glad he was there. He felt her cling to him with her free hand and he tried to soothe her sobs by simply staying with her.
After a few minutes, she sat back and her face registered her shame.
"I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't know what happened."
He went to smooth her hair back when she backed away from him, her walls back up.
"You were reliving a memory. I think we should talk about it."
A flicker of anger crossed her tear stained face and she stood up.
"I'm all set. I need you to leave now."
He got up and sighed.
"Robin, please," he began when she interrupted him.
"It's too much. I've asked you to leave over and over and I get that you're nervous to leave me alone, but I am not your responsibility anymore. Emma isn't here with me so you don't have to worry about her. I have people who will help me and I need for that not to be you. I'll let you out," she said and walked towards the family room.
"What people? Brenda left already and you won't talk to your mother. Mac is at work. Are you going to call Jason or Mark?" he knew he was out of line, but he hated this.
She glared at him and opened the door.
"Who I call is not any of your concern. Goodbye."
He walked out reluctantly and she closed and locked the door.
Robin walked to the couch and lay down on her good side. She finally let herself cry and her fear at the memories she was experiencing was suffocating. She hadn't remembered it all and she didn't think she could endure much more of this. It was all too much.
She knew she needed to eat and sleep and be okay for Emma. Tomorrow was her time again with her daughter and she wouldn't let Emma see her like this. She had to be okay for her little girl.
She just wasn't sure how to get there.
She needed therapy and she knew that, but the thought of verbalizing everything she went through made her want to crawl into a hole and hide.
Looking at the ceiling, a suffocating thought occurred to her.
She felt more alone now than at any point in her captivity.
XXXX
Patrick made his way to the penthouse and he hoped this wouldn't be another problem. He needed to help Robin and as much as it bothered him to ask, he knew she trusted Jason.
Sam opened the door and was surprised to see him standing there.
"Patrick? What are you doing here? Why are you on crutches?"
"I need to talk to Jason; is he around?"
"I'm right here," Jason said as he walked into the room. "What's wrong? Is it Robin?"
Patrick walked past Sam and sighed.
"Robin needs help and she won't let me do anything. I don't know who else to go to, because she won't talk to just anyone. I need you to go see her and try to help."
Jason walked to the couch and sat down, motioning for Patrick to join him.
Sam followed and Patrick felt increasingly uncomfortable. He figured that must be an ounce of what Robin felt.
"Why do you think she needs help?"
"She is having dreams, or memories and they are horrible. She won't talk about what happened to her and it's eating her alive. I thought maybe you could help her. She checked herself out of the hospital early and is home, but she shouldn't be alone. The problem is that she doesn't want me there."
"Can you blame her?" Jason asked.
Patrick sighed.
"I'm not interested in discussing my feelings with you. I'm just trying to help Robin."
"Well, since it's all about you, I can understand that."
"Jason, Patrick is worried about Robin," Sam began.
"Sure he is. He was so worried he went after you while Robin was risking everything to bring me home to you. Is that when he was worried? How about when he divorced her in the midst of her being tortured? Maybe when he refused to find her after she told him she wanted to give up on life? I mean, really, Sam, how are you defending this asshole?"
"You know what? Forget I asked," Patrick said angrily. "You can save your moral judgments for someone else. How many people have you murdered in cold blood?"
"I know who I am and what I've done. I will have to answer for my choices and all I am telling you is that you have yet to answer for yours. You refuse to acknowledge that maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know Robin as well as you thought and maybe you weren't man enough to be her champion. Whatever it is, until you start taking a modicum of responsibility for any of this, Robin will never meet you half way."
Patrick shook his head and looked at Sam, his shame at everything overpowering.
"I don't know what the hell I was ever thinking."
"You were thinking with your dick and not your head. So many times when I was allowed to sit with Robin, she talked to me about how much faith she had in you. She knew you were furious with her for leaving, but she never, ever thought you would give up on her. She fought against what those psycho's did to her and I heard it all. I heard her screams and cries and I heard them do whatever they wanted to her. You are what kept her holding on. You and Emma. Now she is probably struggling with the memories of what she endured and how wrong she was to believe in you."
"You're a piece of work, you know that?" Patrick said. "You think you know it all, but you don't. I know Robin better than any of you. I know what she needs."
Jason faced him.
"Then do it. Do what she needs and get the hell away from me."
Patrick left and Sam turned to Jason.
"That was harsh," she said.
"Well, feel free to go after him. I need some air."
She sighed as she watched him leave. Things weren't as great as they seemed.
XXXX
Robin had slept for a little while, but she was feeling sick to her stomach and she wondered if she should be back in the hospital. She didn't know what to do and she was scared.
She was truly scared.
There was a knock on her door and she groaned as she went to open it. She looked out and saw Jason and felt better. She unlocked the door and almost fell into his arms when he stepped in.
"Oh, hey," he said and held her until she was steady.
They walked to the couch and she sat down, barely having the energy to stand.
"I'm taking you to the hospital," he said and went to find her coat.
She went to respond, but the room spun and she was out.
Jason gathered her in his arms and raced to his car.
Mac met them there and Robin was quickly taken to a room and assessed. She was suffering from dehydration and exhaustion and she was given a sedative to keep her relaxed while the meds worked. Mac went to talk to Anna and Jason sat in the room with her.
He reached to take her hand in his and he sighed.
"Why did you do this for me? You should have let me die. You lost everything and it was for nothing. You are such a better person than me, Robin. You shouldn't have done it."
He kissed her fingers and sat there, trying to remember all they had been through. He knew he had been harsh with Patrick, but seeing the man who slept with his wife just infuriated him.
Sam did, too. He hadn't been able to really tell her because it truly wasn't her fault. She thought he was dead and she had no way of knowing he wasn't.
But that wasn't entirely true.
He didn't understand how she accepted the word of Patrick and never investigated anything? Sam knew how much Jason respected Robin, and for her to accept that she would choose to leave her daughter was completely out of character.
It made him wonder if they had simply grown too far apart.
Then there was Danny.
Jason would never be sorry that he was able to know and love his son. Robin knew that and he also knew that motivated her far above anything else.
How did everything get so fucked up?
Robin moved a little and Jason moved closer to her. She blinked and opened her brown eyes and he smiled.
"Hi. How do you feel?"
She looked around and sighed.
"I'm okay. You don't have to sit here."
Jason smiled and shrugged.
"I want to sit here."
She smiled a little and her tears came, but she swallowed them.
"Patrick came to see me," he said.
"So you're here out of pity? You can go."
"Who are you talking to?" he smiled. "I don't do pity."
"I know, but I just want to be alone. I'm so tired of everyone staring at me like I'm going to explode. Patrick feels guilty so he is trying to feel better and I can't help him. You are back with your family and you should be enjoying that. I'm not important and I will figure this out on my own."
"Why are you being so stubborn?"
She moved in pain and sat up more.
"Because my life is shit, Jason. I'm tired of fighting with everyone and I'm tired of the looks of sadness and pity. I just want to be left alone."
"He loves you. I know it's ridiculous coming from me, but he messed up and he knows it. I think you need to give him a little slack with all you both have been through. I remember after he thought you died. He was a broken man, Robin. I don't know that he ever dealt with that and when you left after he just got you back, it broke his ego."
"So what? I'm just supposed to excuse everything because this is all my fault? I made a choice and therefore everything that happened because of that choice is my punishment? I don't get it, Jason. I am just a woman who wanted to help my friend. I loved my husband more than anything, but I'm not someone who is obedient and turns her back when she can help. I get that he was angry, but I can't look past what he did with that anger."
"Sam?" he sighed.
"And Sabrina. He made me wait, Jason. He didn't know if he wanted me and he made we wait after I fought to get home to him. He put the feelings of someone new over mine and expected me to just understand. I put your life above his anger and he walked away. Screw him for that. I'm worth more. He should have waited," she cried and Jason took her hand in his.
"Okay," he said softly. "Just try and sleep. I hear you and I'm here for as long as you need."
She fell asleep and Jason turned around, feeling like someone was there. He moved to look and saw nobody, but his senses were in overdrive.
There was danger somewhere close by and he knew it wasn't good.
Robin was still in serious danger and he wouldn't leave her side.