Hello, Readers! Well, two more chapters left. Honestly, I really like how this chapter turned out. The last chapter is written and the second to last needs some editing, but they are both finished. It will be bittersweet to finish this story. Maybe, I will focus on finishing up King's Burden and my Dragon Age: Inquisition story that is similar in style to this one. Thank you once again for the reviews, favorites, and follows! I love knowing that even after several years this story still has some fans. :)

PE

"Good-Bye"

Kaidan sat staring out over the white points of stars swirling by. In his hands was the uncompleted Spectre report on what Shepard and he had discovered on Horizon. Now they were speeding toward Cerberus' home base. And his mind didn't want to focus on reliving every detail of what had occurred on Horizon. It wasn't a planet with fond memories.

Sighing, Kaidan tossed the datapad on the seat. Pinching the bridge of his nose he leaned his head back against the seat's cushions. He wondered what Shepard was up to…was she sleeping? He shook his head, not if he knew Shepard. She was probably up pacing, worrying over numbers and every last detail. She wouldn't and couldn't relax on the eve of battle. Even if she needed the sleep, she would push herself to the last possible fiber of her being. He smiled. He loved the way her eyes lit up with that determined look she had when she was going against the odds. The grim set of her jaw and the way she moved, quick but certain.

He worried about her, though he would never let her know. She stretched herself too thin. She was always running about trying to save the galaxy or help every lost soul. Sometimes she forgot to take care of herself. She didn't worry about herself. And she seemed to conveniently forget that there were people who cared about her in the galaxy, people who wanted her to stay safe.

Taking a deep breath Kaidan stood, rolling his shoulders back. A satisfying pop sounded along his upper spine which helped to alleviate some of the tension building up in his body. What he needed was a good stiff drink, and a moment or two alone with Shepard. In fact…there was that bottle of whiskey she had picked up for him while he was in the hospital. He hadn't found the time to open it. Only about once a week did he and Shepard spend down time together, though he craved those moments almost as much as she did. It was little moments together and alone, if any one knew they were keeping to themselves, he was thankful. He had missed Shepard over the past years more than he ever wanted to admit. A nervous energy radiated through him. Nerves and anticipation of the upcoming battle, he needed to relax too.

A thought occurred to him unexpectedly even if Shepard was asleep why not surprise her. He had almost no doubt in his mind he would find her awake and roaming about, but a good drink and sometime to…say good bye. His heart stopped for two beats. Good bye…if something were to go wrong in the next few hours if he were to lose Shepard again… He couldn't finish the thought. It was painful losing her the first time, but again, living with that pain again. He ran a hand through his hair. Could he?

Yes, but not saying good bye, not telling her that he loved her one more time…no, she had to know, even if she was distracted by numbers and details, at least for a few minutes he would sit down and make her relax. Heading across the room he grabbed the bottle of whiskey he had stashed on the bookshelf along with two brandy glass he had hidden with it. He didn't drink all that often, but every once in a while a sip or two didn't hurt to calm nerves and help him unwind.

Pivoting he exited the observation deck and headed toward the elevator. He stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button to Shepard's private quarters. His mind didn't want to dwell on dark thoughts about the next few hours, he just wanted to be lost in Shepard's arms. He didn't want her to be alone tonight.

The doors opened and he looked down at the bottle and glasses clenched in his hands. Walking out of the elevator he reached Shepard just as it opened. Startled he looked up to see Shepard standing by the door a datapad in her hand.

She blinked at him. "Kaidan,"

He smiled at her bright wide eyed look of surprise. "Can't sleep, either, huh?" He walked pass her into the room.

"Kaidan, I don't have time, I have to…"

"Shh…just a quick drink then I'll go, promise." He stated coolly raising his arms in mock disinterest as he strolled down the steps into the sleeping area. He turned away from her, but not before catching the faint smile tugging at her lips.

"All right, a quick drink, then I have to get back to work." She walked over to him taking the bottle from his hand, she popped the top and poured the amber liquor in each glass. Taking a glass carefully she set the bottle on the coffee table.

"Shepard, you know that you aren't doing this alone." Kaidan said taking a seat on the sofa. He took a sip of his whiskey and eyed her up and down. Shepard was tense her shoulders and back radiated tension and stress. He had seen the read outs from her suit-Joker having conveniently forwarded them to him. But seeing her like this…she looked tired and strained. She was still breathtakingly beautiful, but there were dark circles under her eyes and a pale pallor to her complexion.

"I know." She stated firmly as she sat down next to him. "It's just that there is so much to do before this fight. Many things can go wrong and probably will." She took a sip of her drink. Sighing, she leaned her head back on the couch.

"You can't plan for them all, Shepard." Kaidan said quietly. He sat his glass down and propped his arm up on the back of the sofa. Reaching out he ran the back of his fingers across her cheek. "Instead why don't you look to your team for help to the talented and brave people fighting beside you? We're here to help you, Shepard. Whether it's shouldering some of your burdens or just being a shoulder for you to lean on."

Kaidan smiled as Shepard turned her face toward him an enigmatic grin planted on her full lips. "Brave and talented, Major?" Her eyes opened sparkling in the fish tank light.

"Well, some of them are brave, some reckless and some are just scary."

"That's the most accurate description I think I have ever heard." Shepard replied sliding over to snuggle up against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her tucking her close.

He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. "Then you have nothing to worry about. The Reapers are as good as destroyed."

Shepard sighed again and sat up. She twisted around looking directly at him. "I still feel like there is something that needs to be done."

"Of course there is. There will always be a galaxy that needs saving, Shepard." The smile slipped from her face. "You've done all that you can. It will all be…it will be what it will be." He had started to say that it would be okay, that everything was going to be all right. But he knew that wasn't true. People were going to die tomorrow. Lots of people, not just humans, but turians, quarians, geth, asari, salarians, krogan, drell, hanar, volus…if tomorrow went poorly no one was going to be okay.

A faint smile slipped back onto to Shepard face as she looked at him. They were silent for several moments as they sipped their drinks. Kaidan's thoughts shifted from his family back on Earth to Shepard sitting here next to him. His original purpose in coming up here tonight was to just be with her. He wanted a proper good bye—a proper farewell if it came down to it. He wanted that closure that he hadn't had when she had died before. His reasons were partially selfish, he was concerned for her and he didn't want tomorrow to be the last time they fought together or saw each other.

"What are you thinking about, Shepard?" He asked wanting to get away from his own dark thoughts and feelings. He wanted to be in this moment because this was something he was never going to get again.

"Ilos."

He blinked. "Really?"

She smiled and nodded a twinkle forming in her eye. "I was thinking about the night we spent together before Ilos."

His grin must have been foolish, but he honestly didn't care. "I was pretty spectacular if I remember correctly."

Shepard giggled. She actually giggled. Kaidan would have been shocked by the sound of it, if she hadn't climbed onto his lap and started kissing him. Her lips were warm and hungry against his. His mind slipped to kissing her like this before…that night…that first night together. Her kiss then had been just as hungry and warm…not desperate, but boarding on it. His hands roamed up her back to unclip her hair. Her hair fell in dark chocolate waves around them. Her hair was longer, much longer than it had been then. He liked it. It was soft and thick, slightly wild.

Shepard broke their kiss just as suddenly as she had started kissing him. She blinked at him, frowning- a little crease formed on her brow. "I should…" she shifted starting to stand up. His hands slid down to her waist.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked his breath short and quick. The idea of her leaving in the middle of…something- he tried to mask the hurt. But he couldn't hide the surprise.

"Kaidan, I," Her chin dropped to her chest her hair curtaining her face. Her hands clutched at his arms.

"Shepard," Kaidan started but stopped he didn't know what to say. He didn't want her to feel obliged. She had enough worries and problems. "If you don't want to…" he trailed off as she leaned forward bringing her face scant inches away from his.

"I love you." She whispered her breath hot against his skin.

His eyes widened. She's said it before this. Then why was his heart pounding so hard? And his skin so hot and flushed? Because she's never truly and fully meant the words. Until now. "I've always loved you and I'll never stop." He replied honestly. He had wanted to tell her for so long. Even on Horizon he had wanted to shout the words. He had wanted to tell her so many times, but it had never felt right. There were too many times he had wanted to trust her based solely on the idea that his heart did, but his mind, thankfully and painfully, didn't always agree.

He closed the distant between them snatching her lips up in another kiss. He kissed her with a passionate determination. This time it was different than Ilos. This time was light and playful and heartfelt. The desperation and fear weren't present as he wrapped his arms firmly around her waist and stood up.

Shepard's legs wrapped about his waist, her arms around his neck. He didn't stop kissing her or she him as he walked them over to the bed.

He didn't want this to be the last time. He didn't want this night to end. He didn't want to have to say good bye. But even as they stripped away their clothes leaving a trail of kisses and sweet touches in their place, he knew it very well could be.