Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

A/N: I've decided to reply to reviews, so to those that reviewed on the first chapter, your reply is on chapter two. If you don't see your reply there, then it's right at the end of this chapter.

Chapter 3:

Understanding

Kagome stared at where the two Inuyasha's once stood. The way the both of them had exchanged expressions, she could tell that something was going on. She took a step forward to go and search for Inuyasha, but a hand was placed on top of her shoulder, stopping her. She turned her head and found out that Miroku was the one holding her.

"Miroku-sama?"

"Kagome-sama, I know that you may not like this, but I think we should listen to Inuyasha, and look at his memories with Kikyou-sama," Miroku said. When he saw the frown displayed on Kagome's face, he stated, "I know it can be painful, but I think Inuyasha wants us to see something that we may not understand."

Sango shot Miroku a look, then turned to look at Kagome. "You don't have to, Kagome-chan."

"No, it's fine," Kagome said and gave her friend a reassuring smile. "It's in the past anyway, so I think I'll be okay. Besides, I want to do this and understand what Inuyasha—I mean, human Inuyasha—wants me to see."

Sango gave a hesitant nod. "If you say so."

Everyone gave Kagome some time to prepare herself. She took a few deep breaths, and clenched her fists in determination. Maybe Miroku was right. Maybe Inuyasha—or maybe just human Inuyasha—wanted her to see something that he may have not been able to explain personally. Knowing Inuyasha, he wasn't the type of person to easily open up about his past, moreover, answer questions when it involves about love. So this was the perfect opportunity to find some answers.

She felt a hand over her shoulder, and she turned her head to find Sango looking at her with a concerned expression. "You really don't have to do this if you don't want to, Kagome-chan."

"No, it's okay," Kagome said, then, her face turned into one that held many questions. "I need to know what Inuyasha is trying to make me see. Maybe it would help me find out whether or not he still loves Kikyou?"

Sango sighed, before she nodded to her friend.

The group walked towards the direction where they saw adult Inuyasha passed by. To be completely honest, none of them knew where they were going. The two Inuyasha's only said to see their memories with Kikyou, but they weren't sure how to exactly find those memories. It seemed that they have to search for adult Inuyasha in order to find it.

Their surroundings wavered, and from morning, it turned night. All of them jumped when, all of a sudden, Inuyasha dashed past them. They all looked at each other, and nodded in agreement to follow him. The sun was setting, and soon, they found out the reason for his running. When he leapt onto a tree branch, his silver hair shifted into the colour of obsidian, and his amber eyes were replaced with a pair of violet ones. It turned out that this memory was during Inuyasha's human night.

They watched as human Inuyasha kept his eyes roaming around the area, always on full alert for enemies. They continued watching the memory, and later, they discovered that this was Inuyasha's first encounter with Kikyou. While viewing the memory, everyone made sure to keep watch on Kagome's face; planning to bring her out of here if things were too much for her. To their surprise, said miko only observed Inuyasha and Kikyou with full curiosity, and they realised that she was truly willing to know why Inuyasha kept going back to the dead miko.

Kagome didn't say anything as she watched. Though, she was overwhelmed with the emotions that were welling inside of her, and found out that she wanted to see more of Inuyasha's moments with Kikyou. It wasn't as if she liked seeing Inuyasha with the dead miko, but she couldn't believe that the Inuyasha with Kikyou was... nicer, less rude, and much more mature. He still had those boyish characteristics; blushing when handing over Kikyou his mother's gift, and acted as if it wasn't a big deal. But he was so much different than when he was with her.

Then, she saw the inner turmoil Inuyasha was facing. Because she was inside his head, she could see his real emotions. He was actually really insecure being with Kikyou; always thinking twice before he says things. And, she could see his transparent human side floating beside him, always reminding him to watch his words, watch his actions; that Kikyou was a priestess, that she had to remain pure.

And then she watched the moment where Inuyasha told Kikyou that he wanted to be human. She watched as he immediately let go of his goal to become a full-demon; just to be with her. In that moment, she realised, that being a human wasn't what Inuyasha really wanted. But he was willing to go to such lengths in order to be with her. Tears collected at the corner of her eyes as she understood what Inuyasha felt. He wanted acceptance. And when he had it, he would do everything in his power to keep it. He wanted to be with Kikyou because she accepted him.

Kagome wiped the tears with her sleeve. She could imagine how lonely Inuyasha must've felt in this world; constantly getting shunned, always in danger... It was no wonder he would want to turn human to be with Kikyou.

By observing the memory, Kagome could tell that Inuyasha was being so careful with Kikyou, trying his best not to ruin the relationship he had made with her. To feel accepted... of course he would want to show the nicer part of him. Kikyou was the first person that accepted him after his mother's death. She was a priestess, yet she doesn't see Inuyasha as how the world looks at him. She regarded Inuyasha with his name, she never raised her voice with him, and she never gave him the beads to subdue him. If Kagome had remembered correctly, Kaede said that it was Kikyou who had made the beads. Yet, she had never given it to him.

All of a sudden, Kagome felt miserable. She always yell at Inuyasha, constantly argue with him, and worst of all, 'sit' him; even if what he did could sometimes be solved without her subduing him.

Noticing Kagome's sour face, Sango asked, "Kagome-chan? Are you okay? We can stop watching this if you want."

"No, I..." Kagome looked up to Sango's chocolate eyes. "Sango-chan, am I... am I horrible compared to Kikyou?"

Sango's eyes widened in disbelief. "Of course not! Why would you even—"

"Unlike Kikyou, I shout at Inuyasha, we argue all the time, and I 'sit' him," Kagome said bitterly. "If you didn't know, Kikyou was the one who made those beads around his neck, yet she doesn't put them on Inuyasha. I mean... I know that I'm not the one who put those beads on Inuyasha, and it was Kaede-baachan, but it really depends on me whether to 'sit' him or not."

"Kagome-chan..." Sango said, and her expression softened. She turned to look at the memories of Inuyasha with Kikyou. "Alright, what did you learn when you see Kikyou with Inuyasha?"

"That I'm horrible compared to Kikyou?"

Sango shook her head, "Other than that."

"Um..." Kagome paused as she remembered seeing Inuyasha treating Kikyou nicely. "That Inuyasha is much nicer with Kikyou? Oh, and insults less?"

"Yes," Sango said, and placed both of her hands onto her friend's shoulders. "Do you understand what I'm trying to make you see, Kagome-chan? Your relationship with Inuyasha is way better than him with Kikyou. Why? Because he doesn't think twice on what he's going to say. He says what's on his mind, he argues with you without holding back, and sometimes, believe it or not, he smiles after you 'sit' him."

When Kagome continued to stare at her dumbly, Sango decided to elaborate, "You see, that Inuyasha," she said as she pointed to the hanyou talking to Kikyou, "that isn't the real him. He acts like that because he wants to be accepted. But with you, it's like he knows, that no matter what he does, or what he says, you'll always accept him for who he is. He isn't afraid to speak what's on his mind, even if he knows that it might hurt you, or at least earn himself a 'sit' for it. He does it because he knows that you'll always stay by his side."

"But what does this have to do with him constantly seeing Kikyou?"

"I think... the reason why he always goes back to Kikyou isn't because he loves her the way he used to," Sango said, and released Kagome's shoulders, "Well, first of all, maybe it's because he felt responsible that Kikyou died in the hands of Naraku; and it was so easy for him to fall into Naraku's plan. Second, I think the reason why he keeps returning to Kikyou is because he cares about her... as a friend. I mean, Kikyou met him first before all of us, and to add on top of that, she was the first person to accept him after his mother died. So it's only natural for him to still care about Kikyou."

"Wow, Sango-chan," Kagome said, almost speechless, and wanted to slap herself for not seeing the answer in the first place. She had been so busy thinking that Kikyou treated Inuyasha better, that she missed the obvious point of why the hanyou still cares about the dead miko. Thank goodness she had Sango to explain it to her. Sometimes, it was better to look it through another person's perspective in order to understand something more.

"Woah," Miroku and Shippou added in sync, right after Kagome's sentence. The both of them looked at each other, before Miroku stepped forward, clearing his throat, "Sango, I was not aware that you are... wise."

Sango smirked, before it faded. "I have to admit, I was wrong to think that Inuyasha goes to Kikyou only because he can't let go of the past, and still loves her, but after seeing that memory, I think I get it now. It just shows that Inuyasha is serious when he starts caring for someone."

Kagome smiled to herself. Yup, Inuyasha may not admit it, heck, probably argues about it till he dies, but in the end, he does care. There were a few times when he showed signs that he cared for her; that time when he visited her because she was sick, and that other time when he brought her to school when she was late.

But even if Sango had told her that Inuyasha's relationship with Kikyou was just friends, she still felt uncertain. "But what if... what if Inuyasha actually chooses Kikyou?"

Sango thought for a moment, before answering, "I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I doubt that's the case. If he really did choose Kikyou, then why did human Inuyasha brought Kohaku into this?" Looking onto Kagome's confused expression, Sango reminded, "Remember? He shouted at us that it's fine for me to see Kohaku, but he couldn't see Kikyou. If Kikyou was more than a friend, then he wouldn't have said something like that; because he knows that Kohaku is my brother and not a lover. Also, why would he want us to see his memories with Kikyou? He could just tell us that the reason why he keeps coming back to her is because he loves her, yet, he had never once use that word."

The gears were turning in Kagome's head, and now only did she realise that it makes a lot more sense.

Now, she felt bad for ignoring the hanyou after his visit to Kikyou. She understood now what he was trying to show, and she had to admit, it was kind of unfair. Just like with everyone else, he was just showing that he cared to someone he was close with. Sure, he cared Kikyou more deeply, probably more than her—who knows?—but she understood. She understood that Kikyou was the first to treat him like a living being, and showed him acceptance when the world lacked of it. So, it wasn't wrong for him to care more deeply towards Kikyou.

Besides, now that she had seen his memory with Kikyou, she couldn't help but smile at the times when Inuyasha did things that he didn't do with Kikyou. There was a possibility that he would've done it with Kikyou if Kikyou had lived longer, but right now, she was Kikyou's reincarnation. Inuyasha had shed tears for her, and Myouga had confirmed that it had been a long time since he did so. Inuyasha had almost sacrificed his whole life for her; pushing Tokajin off the mountain with himself, even if he was in his human form. Now that she had relished her moments with Inuyasha, she realised that maybe she only misunderstood Inuyasha and his intentions with Kikyou.

Still, she felt like she should discuss this with Inuyasha himself; just to clear things up.

Speaking of Inuyasha...

"Where is Inuyasha?" Kagome asked as she spun around to face her friends. "I mean... we already saw what he wanted, so... what now?"

Miroku rubbed his chin. "Maybe we should wait for his appearance again?"

"You can't do this!" they heard a familiar voice shout, followed by loud stomping to their direction. "I'm serious, you idiot. You better not!"

"Oh, shut up already. There's no other way, and you know it!"

"Speak of the devil," Sango muttered as she turned her head to where the direction of the voice came from.

They watched as human and demon Inuyasha argue about something, as they made their way to them. They were fighting over something; that much was obvious, but it seemed that if they don't stop, things will be out of control.

"You gotta be kiddin' me—"

"I'm not. Whether you like it or not, I'm gonna do it."

"You. Wouldn't."

"Is that a challange?"

"Woah, woah, hey," Kagome tried interrupting, but were ignored by both Inuyasha's because of their raised voices. "Inuyasha, cut it out—"

"Ohohoho, you dare challange me, you wimpy human? Get ready, 'cause I'm gonna beat your—"

"Inuyasha, osuwari!"

She knew that it wouldn't work inside Inuyasha's head, but at least it made both versions of Inuyasha flinch and stop fighting. Only then, the two of them realised that they had already reached where they intended to go.

"Inuyasha, what's going on?" Kagome asked as she continued exhanging glances from one to another. "Did something happen?"

"Well? Go on and tell her," demon Inuyasha sneered at his human self, while crossing his arms. "You know it's a bad idea, yet you wanna do it so much. Go ahead and tell her."

"Will you shut up?" human Inuyasha said as he glared daggers at his demon side. "I am going to tell her, so be patient," he said, and mumbled, "Stupid demon."

"Hey, in case you've forgotten, I have enhanced hearing, and I heard that!"

"It's very chaotic just being inside Inuyasha's head," Miroku stated, and everyone, except Kagome (who was too busy trying to stop the two Inuyasha's from fighting), nodded.

"Okay, okay, enough!" Kagome snapped, and it made both Inuyasha's clamp their mouths shut, even if it was obvious that they had more to say. She inhaled, and exhaled, causing her nostrils to flare like a dragon's. "Now, will you tell me what's going on?"

"First things first, have you seen our memories with Kikyou?" human Inuyasha asked, trying not to sound hopeful and desperate at the same time.

"Yes," Kagome said, and nodded sadly. "I'm really sorry, Inuyasha. I should've—"

"Don't say it. I mean, don't tell this to me," human Inuyasha said and grabbed Kagome's hand. He also added, "or to demon me. The one who you should talk right now is with our dominant."

"Your... Why? What happened to Inuyasha-Inuyasha?" Kagome said as she allowed human Inuyasha to lead her to... wherever they were going.

She noticed that demon Inuyasha didn't follow, only stayed with her friends, talking about something that she couldn't hear. But by the looks her friends were giving, she could tell that the news wasn't good. Once they were far enough from everyone, only then human Inuyasha responded.

"I'm sorry," human Inuyasha murmured, almost inaudibly.

Confused, Kagome asked, "For what?"

"For being mad at you," human Inuyasha said, and ran a hand through his obsidian hair. "I just... Things had been really complicated."

"It's okay, Inuyasha," Kagome said, worry laced in her tone. "But can you tell me what exactly is happening to Inuyasha?"

Human Inuyasha frowned, before he reluctantly answered, "It's been happening for a while now, but... our dominant is suffering from depression."

A/N: At first, I wanted to make Kagome figure out the answer on her own, but realise she would caught up with her own imperfections; comparing herself with Kikyou. So here we have Sango to explain it to our miko.

Sango didn't want to focus on Inuyasha's memories with Kikyou in the beginning, but to understand her hanyou friend more, she decided to do just that, and were able to pick up a lot of things. I'm glad that she was the one that explained to Kagome, because seeing their friendship, of course she had to play the best friend role and explain things that Kagome might not understand well.

Now, onto the replies.

- Replies -

Taisho No Miko: I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading.

Guest (SynestraJo): It annoys me too when they treat Inuyasha badly only because of his visit to Kikyou, but I think it happens only because of a little misunderstanding. So in this chapter, I hope you were able to understand why I think Inuyasha keeps visiting Kikyou, and my viewpoint on Kikyou and Inuyasha's relationship.

Guest: Thank you for leaving such a long review. I sense that there were some parts that left you unsatisfied, but let me explain some things that you might've misunderstood. Though, I may not respond to all because the answer will unfold in the future chapters. This is gonna be long, so hope you're ready lol.

First of all, demon Inuyasha did not defend Kikyou. He has no feelings for a human, and I have written before; that he actually wanted a youkai as a mate. The only reason why he's getting angry at Inuyasha's friends is only because he doesn't feel the need for Inuyasha to apologise. In conclusion, demon Inuyasha was only angry because Inuyasha's friends almost made his dominant apologise for something he does not see as wrong, and not because he hates Kagome or likes Kikyou. Again, demon Inuyasha has no feelings for Kagome nor Kikyou. And although I wished to share this in the future chapter, but think that it's pretty obvious that Inuyasha has feelings for Kagome in this story.

And yes, Inuyasha does not realise the effect for his actions. If I remember correctly in the anime, Inuyasha seemed unaware of the reason why Kagome ignores him, until later on. Even Shippou mentioned a couple of times that he's a simpleton. So I guess it's safe to say that Inuyasha is quite oblivious with the effect of his actions.

I know that Kagome is suffering in silence whenever Inuyasha sees Kikyou, and I, too, pity her sometimes. But most of the time, it's hard for me to stay sympathetic with her, especially when she uses the 'sit' word later on. I know that some of her 'sits' aren't serious, but when it is, it's just... sad. Because I feel like she's degrading Inuyasha and it's kind of humiliating, especially when she does it in front of Kouga. But wait, before you think that I hate Kagome, I actually love the girl (if she's not 'sitting' him), and let me be clear that InuKag is the ship I sail. So I'm glad that in the second season, Kagome and Inuyasha's relationship are much better than the first.

And nope, I am not going to write Inuyasha's friends as cruel and cold-hearted. If I was going to potray them that way, I would've warned earlier in the story that the characters will be OOC. Inuyasha's friends are sweet, and there were short scenes where they prove themselves to be caring people. So no, there will be no bashing or heartless personalities. Just Inuyasha's friends being his friends.

Whew, that was the longest reply I've ever made so far. Again, I appreciate your review and hope that some of your questions have been answered.