Not long after that sleepless night, I was summoned on floor 56, at a strategy meeting, to participate in strategizing the next boss raid, and discussing various things. Personally, I was up to the idea, as EXP is something I require as a solo player, since I don't have anyone to help me. I had to participate, more than I wanted to.

Either way, the meeting room chosen was a cave in the rocky area of floor 56, Pani, where the Aincrad Liberation Army, the Knights of the Blood Oath, the Holy Dragon Alliance and other clearing groups and solo players gathered. The atmosphere was really tense: the members of guilds were speaking amongst each other, trying to figure out how we should approach the boss, which seemed to be very strange in its targeting algorithm.

Then, someone from the front spoke up:

"We'll lure the field boss into the village."

A loud sound of surprise resounded in the room. Everyone found the idea strange. It was something that could be done of course, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything else but:

"W-wait a second! If we did that, the villagers –"

"That's our aim" she replied coldly, "While the boss is occupied with killing NPCs, we'll take it down"

I knew if was Asuna suggesting that. I walked up to the map of the village, with the intention to speak directly with her. At that moment, I wanted to say many things. For one, it wasn't guaranteed that the boss would target NPCs. Even if it were possible if we played with the aggro properly, it was a risk. Second, there may be people in the village. Third – it seems like we're killing real people. Instead of saying that, however, I said:

"NPCs aren't just bits of data like trees and rocks. They're –"

Before I could finish, she quickly added;

"Alive? Is that it?"

I flinched, unsure what to reply.

"There's nothing special about them." She continued, "Even if they're killed, they'll simply respawn."

I knew that there ought to be something behind the way she was looking at it. Perhaps we were short on ideas, or someone was sadistic enough to propose it. But I couldn't go along with it. First thing: NPCs are like were little shells: I can't even begin to desire to bring them pain when they're… And second of all, I simply could not look at someone else shatter in tiny bits before my eyes again. Even if they were not really alive. So I decided, right there and then, I would do this my own way if I had to, and would not go along with her.

"I can't accept that logic." I simply told her.

She rose from her arched position over the map, and looked directly to me, with an intimidating gaze;

"I, Asuna, the Vice Commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath, am assigned to lead this mission. You will obey my orders."

Right there and then, I decided not to even argue. I have met Asuna plenty of times when I attempt soloing bosses. And I knew I could not make her move an inch.

So I made my move. I turned around from the cave/strategy meeting room and started walking towards the exit. Agil, an old friend of mine, came after me and told me;

"Man, you should really try not to fight like that. You know she's stuck-up about her duty as part of the clearing group"

"It's not like I do it on purpose. Plus, she's the one that started the thing" I replied to him.

"Well, it's not like you can expect iron to turn to gold." He told me, trying to sound cool.

"Stop it, it's creepy" I simply told him, once we were both out of the cave.

"Heeeeh? What was that for?" he looked at me, almost if I'd hurt him. He then looked away, at the fields surrounding the cave, and the NPCs, who were walking about, doing what they usually do: carry out their task.

"Nothing in particular." I replied. Then I added, "Oh, I almost forgot: here is the col I owe you for letting me crash at your place that time that someone from a yellow guild was after me. You probably saved my ass for a while."

I went to my menu, and sent him the col through trade request.

"You sure about this? It's not like I did something huge for you." He told me.

"You didn't do it for me, you did it for Sachi. So this is only natural." I whispered.

"What?" he didn't hear me, clearly.

"Nothing important." I replied, "See you around!"

I then started walking away, towards some place I knew I would enjoy, only to stop instead. I had been aware since long that I should not be resting when I get enough sleep. I therefore decided to go back to farming on floor 47, and then went to have dinner at a local inn, after working up what in the real world I would call "a good sweat".

I still can't believe this is actually happening. Even if it happened almost a year and a half ago, it is still hard to conceptualize.

I am not here. I am in a hospital room near my house, and there are my sister and aunt visiting me once in a while... but I can't see any of it. Existing in two worlds, living well in none. Virtual reality – is this really what I longed for? Being stuck here knowing of the fact everyone from my school will forget me? Leave me behind?

The worst of all is that I had killed a person. No, I have killed more than one. Sachi, Keita… all of the Moonlit Black Cats. There could be no other person to blame other than me.

I asked the NPC at the counter for a glass of water, which he quickly poured for me. I took a minute to look around: this inn/bar didn't look exactly medieval, but it wasn't modern. The chairs were all wooden, and the front of the counter was too. Personally, I had only come here on occasions in which I had managed to get enough EXP for 2 days, which I surprisingly had. And that was good enough to take a break.

Really, I should not even be taking a break. Yet, it seemed that having a moment of peace once in a while helped me keep my mind clear while fighting, so whatever.

Someone entered through the main door of the bar.

It can't be an NPC since their footsteps are too heavy. It must be someone wearing –mmm –-light armor. Those things have good defense and grant you speed, but I'm more an all-out type: cape for me. I like the speed buffs. And to farm, it is far more efficient to be able to clear mobs faster than take less damage.

The footsteps continued, up to about the middle of the bar. Then, they stopped.

Just as I was turning around to glance at the player, I have an authoritarian voice say:

"I have been looking for you."

I turned around and saw Asuna, the vice commander of KBO. I was startled to say the least.

"What are y…" I stopped before finishing the sentence.

Even if it was not a pleasing situation, I still had to approach it with respect to her, else she'd probably take me off the people to notify on the date and time of the boss raid.

"I mean… what may you be doing in a place like this?" I asked, trying to keep my clear estrangement away from my talking.

"I came to see you. You are… Kirito, right?" She asked, strangely non-formal.

At that point, I could only reply, "Yes I am."

"Why are you against the idea to use NPCs as a decoy to draw the boss's attention and avoid casualties? It wouldn't matter if they are destroyed after all, they would simply respawn later on." She definitely got straight to the point.

"Personally, I find it quite unbelievable you have come all this way to ask me such a question" I retorted, sternly, "I thought the vice commander of KBO had many things to do before the raid… seems like she didn't."

"What the hell is up with that? Seriously. I'm trying to be nice here. It's not like I'm asking you to insult me, you know?" she responded in a voice loud enough for all the NPCs inside the bar to hear.

"Do I have to tell you I don't like your idea again?" I asked.

"No, this time you have to tell me the real reason why. I've asked around and found out there is clearly something wrong with your actions. Agil, one of the people joining us for the raid, expressed he was worried to me when I asked what was up with you."

Damn him, he knows we get along as good as dogs and cats do. He just had to pull this on me?

"It is nothing" I cut it short to make sure that she would leave, but she insisted.

"I am sure there is an ulterior reason. Agil mentioned you spoke in a small voice before leaving him. I am sure that there is something other than the plan itself that is bugging you, and I want to know it."

'Someone, please make her leave me alone.' I thought to myself.

"Heeeeey? I'm talking to you!" She pointed her finger at my nose, and then sat down beside me.

"What are you drinking?" she asks me.

"Water."

"Then, tell me what I want to know and you'll have water for free for 5 weeks." She was clearly trying to bargain, but I was not interested.

"If I were to ask someone for money, the last person I would ask is you. In fact, I am not entirely sure I would even ask you for it."

"So rude." She pouted.

I felt something warm in my chest. Despite being a person which I was different from, and despite the fact it felt like she was chasing her underling to scold him, I felt that she was sincere. Perhaps, concerned. But I couldn't let her know.

"Really, it's nothing." I said, at last.

"No, there is something." She repeats.

"No, nothing." I insist.

"Then, are you telling me that you have, knowing full well this isn't in any way, shape, or form under your control, tried taking control of our strategy and specifically not allow aggro towards NPCs just because you are a self-righteous idiot?" She spoke the last word with a bit of effort. I was beginning to feel angry.

But I stayed silent, and looked away from her.

She pushed her face towards me, trying to force me to look at her.

"You know, maybe I was right. Maybe human life doesn't matter to you, and actually I was just valuing higher than you are… thank you for being an idiot, at least now I don't have to put up with your complains anymore." She stood up from the stool and started walking away.

My chest flared with anger. I hands tightened into a fist's shape, yet I didn't take action. I still felt that the truth was far more painful to speak than this.

Asuna turned back, and called out to me.

"You know, maybe you would like to see me dead. You want it, don't you? You're just objecting to my own opinion for the sake of it!" she sounded angry.

It was one drop of anger too much for me to handle. The I spilled the water I was drinking over the floor, knocked over the stool I was sitting on, and basically sprung at her. I grabbed her hand while she was walking away. There was no way I could control my mouth and myself anymore.

"You and your opinions? You and your opinions? Are you kidding me? I would, 1 Never try and stop someone from doing the right thing. If I knew this would be essential to beat the boss, I believe I would have to endure it and go through with it and, 2 I do not like how you're calling me an idiot! You take the word too lightly! You don't even know how big of an idiot I AM!"

I knew she would most likely be scared from hearing me say that, but it was the truth: for some of the things that I've done, I deserve to be called the greatest of idiots.

I was screaming so loudly that the people outside could hear me. Ultimately, I didn't care. Right now, I wanted to tell her why she should call me an idiot, why I hate myself and why I don't want to see any more of those damned polygons.

"What are your problems? I don't have a clue! But I have left 5 of my friends die and I didn't do anything to save them! I looked at them, one by one, become dust and disappear!" I ran out of breath, I stopped and then I kept going again, "Do you know just how much it f*cking hurts? Knowing you are an idiot and you definitely will always be? Knowing you have done the one thing you will regret your entire life?"

After finishing, I fell to the floor. In a small voice, I said:

"Sachi… I saw someone I loved more than anything fade out before my eyes. Is it fair to desire to not see that ever again? Even if it's an NPC?"

And right there and then, the fatigue from training earlier had its effect. Perhaps due to my quick movements and my closeness to breaking down.

Before I could think of anything at all, I was asleep on the floor.

When I woke up, I felt some pain on my cheeks and I tried opening my eyes, realizing I was facing the floor.

'Why am I here?'

I blinked a couple of times to get used to the light that was in the room. I was definitely not used to it yet, but I still tried standing up. And then it all came back to me. Last night, the leader of the raid had come to consult me about my reasoning, and I ended up lashing out at her. I'm such an idiot…

"That's right. An idiot." I said to myself, out loud.

I looked around. The front counter of the bar was where I remembered, and I was in the middle of the bar, halfway to the door. A soft light entered through the windows, making it look strangely ominous. The first thing I did when I was almost back to my senses was to check that I still had my sword on my back. It was there.

"Phew, thank god."

The few tables of the bar were still in position, chairs in place. Someone was sitting at one of them right beside me – !

I almost jumped a full meter when I saw her. Asuna, vice of KBO, was there, with her face on the table, sleeping. The first thought I had was: "She really hates me and wants to argue", but I knew it was not it. Despite thinking of the possible reason why she may have stayed there, for an entire night, was something that I could not easily explain.

I knew that it would be better to resolve this with me, but I didn't want to talk about it. And I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. I started walking towards the exit of the bar, and once I reached it, I looked behind me.

'If her underlings saw her…'

She had drool coming from her mouth, and she had a weird smile on her face. For some reason, I felt I should leave before she woke up, else she would punch me for seeing her like that.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong too. And I hope you can forgive me for what I did."

I walked out of the bar, and I didn't look back. No more looking back.

But I still heard someone speak in a loud voice:

"I should be the one saying sorry."

When I looked behind me, I noticed Asuna, rubbing her eyes, walking behind me. I must say, she does insist.

"I understand you don't want to talk about it, nor do what I tell you, so I'll excuse you from this raid. I think you have a great trauma and if you don't want to talk about it I can't help you –" She then quickly added, "also, sorry for saying those things at the end. Ever since becoming a vice commander, so many people have come to me to complain for pointless things – and I just get attacked for the sake of annoying me, quite often. I was on edge, it's my fault, sorry."

I was astounded. Asuna's expression, as she said these words, was completely honest: there was no trace of any sort of doubt, either. I have definitely misread her character.

"I'm also sorry for thinking bad things of you. You are nice." I told her, slightly embarrassed from her apology.

"It's alright, not many people know me well since I don't take time to know them." She stopped, hesitating. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Also, who is Sachi?"

I went red, then blue and then suddenly felt depressed.

"She is… someone I knew." I replied, not wanting to say anything else.

"It's fine. Also,

she walked ahead of me on the path.

"I hope I can help if there's anything you need help with!"

That day, she made me add her in my friends list again, and then she left, off to the raid. I didn't go, even if I knew I should've. Instead, I stayed near the bar and farmed some decent-leveled mobs. I could at least make up for it with a hard day's work.

Then, I went back to the bar/inn to sleep again. Soon after, I moved out, to the next floor.

It has been almost 7 months since then. I've gone through some hardships, like helping out some people defend against Laughing Coffin, and getting a new sword, Elucidator. I've gotten stronger, and now I'm level 91. Asuna has put her faith in me, apparently. From that day, we've become friends, and often saw each other in raids. Honestly, I found out she's the type of person to put a mask on for her occasions - and I understand why, since she is required to be serious al the time. I almost couldn't believe it when she asked me to team up with her to go scout floor's 74 boss room, only her and I. I decided to accept, since it seemed a reasonable proposal, and it would be smart to scout the room. Seeing the boss first hand would also help me try to get in the right mindset.

I was sitting near the teleport gate on the 74th floor, when I decided my legs were way too sore from staying in that position. I stood up and took a walk around the teleport station.

'What is she doing? She's late.' I asked myself.

I was walking next to the front of the warp gate when someone suddenly travelled through, while running forwards and screaming something I couldn't make out. I recognized the voice the moment I heard it. And, at the same time, I was smacked onto the floor together with Asuna. Shortly after, I raised my head, which was lying on the ground, looked at hers and said:

"Would you mind getting off me? It's hurting, down there."

She looked up at me and noticed who I was, then, she realized what I'd said. Her face grew as red as a tomato. She then proceeded to slap me on my cheek with as much strength as she could muster.

I have never flown, but I need to say, what happened after she smacked me was a lot like a flight. I literally rolled for 10 meters, pushed on and on by her strength parameters in the game, and was only stopped by one of the stones used for directions which stood next to the gate. Even if this was virtual reality, it was so painful I felt some of the feedback. My head was ringing loudly.

When I regained control of my body, I saw Asuna running towards me and hiding behind me. I knew something was wrong. She looked far too distressed.

The teleport gate lit up again.