Chapter Twenty-Six:

Patrick and Robin raced to Emma's room and the little girl ran into Robin's arms.

"What happened? What's wrong?" she asked her.

"Over there!" Emma pointed to the corner of the room. "There was a huge bug."

Patrick and Robin both stared at her.

"You screamed because of a bug?" Patrick asked her.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief as Patrick walked over to the chair Emma had knocked over.

"You killed it," he said as he saw the spider.

"Do you think I made it hurt?"

He picked up a tissue and grabbed the mangled arachnid before he walked to the bathroom and flushed it.

"I think it was a quick ending. No pain involved," Robin said as she at back and smoothed Emma's hair back.

"I just got scared. I don't like bugs with no legs or more than four. I'm sorry if I scared you and daddy," she said and sniffed.

Robin knew Emma had no idea what they were worried about, so she felt it was important not to scare her.

"We just want you to be okay. You don't have to be sorry for being scared," she said and smiled as Patrick walked in. "Daddy will always get rid of the scary bugs."

"That's the first thing in the daddy contract," Patrick walked over and sat on Emma's bed. "Get rid of scary bugs."

Emma smiled and walked to hug him.

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I scared you and mommy."

He hugged her back and kissed her head.

"How about if we make some popcorn and watch a movie until bedtime?"

Emma grinned.

"All of us?"

Robin looked at her and smiled. She would do anything for her daughter.

"All of us."

About an hour later, Patrick carried a sleeping Emma to bed and Robin followed to help get her undressed and covered up. They both tucked her in and smiled as she slept.

"She snores like you," Robin grinned.

He rolled his eyes and they walked back to the family room.

"I recall a certain someone in the room, not of the male persuasion, who always snored."

She sat down and smiled.

"You remember incorrectly."

He chuckled and sat down.

"Whatever you say."

They were quiet for a minute and she sat back, exhaling.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

He nodded.

"I'm not leaving you both alone. If there is a threat out there against my family, they will have to come through me to get near you."

She frowned and wiped her eyes.

"They would have no problem doing that."

"Robin, please let me stay."

She looked at him and her eyes filled with tears.

"Today has been really hard. I know I told you a lot of things and I am really glad you want to be here, but it's really time for you to go. I can't lean on you or get used to you being here. I need to stay strong on my own."

He was so frustrated he wanted to shake her.

"Is there anything I Can do to break through your walls?"

"Patrick, this is just silly. You don't want to be with me and we both know it. I appreciate all you have done to help me and I am happy to be home, but you don't need to pretend anymore. I will get over you and unlike some of your other exes, I promise not to go all fatal attraction on you," she smiled, trying to joke about something that wasn't funny to either one of them.

"What if Stone came back from the dead?"

She stared at him.

"What?"

"What if Stone came back from the dead? What if he walked through that door and wanted you back? What would you do?"

"He isn't coming back, Patrick. He's dead. I held him in my arms after he died. He isn't coming back," she said softly. "It's not the same."

"I watched you blow up in front of me. I saw your charred body. They gave me your rings. I would have sworn on my life you weren't coming back. How is that not the same?"

"Because he died of AIDS and as much as I would love to wish that away, I can't. I live with the reminder that he died every moment. It's not the same."

"Why? Because of a disease? I'm not talking about that, Robin; I'm talking about love. I'm talking about what you felt in here," he touched his heart. "I'm talking about the connection you had and what you would have done if he suddenly came back."

"So now your relationship with Sabrina and Sam was akin to my love of Stone? You think if he walked back into my life I would drop you and run into his arms? Is that it? Is this all about your ridiculous jealousy of a man who was dead a decade before I met you? Or maybe I would slam the door in his face and tell him it was too late, because that's what you did to me. Well, to be honest, it was more like, hey Stone, just go to a hotel for a few days while I try and decide if I want to dump my current love for you. I think it might take me a while to come to a decision, but just keep on hoping."

Patrick glared at her, but said nothing and she continued.

"Okay, so what? I get it. You moved on. That's my whole point. I saw it, twice. I don't need to live through it again. You need to move on and forget about me and the life we planned. You already started when you divorced me, Patrick. Don't let me being here cloud what you want in your heart."

He stood up and crossed his arms.

"It must be nice to be so fucking perfect. I always hated when people said that about you because I knew it irritated you, but this need you have to tell me what I'm feeling and what I want as if I can't figure it out for myself if so fucking frustrating!"

"Keep your voice down," she hissed. "If you feel the need to yell at me, you know where the door is."

"What are you so afraid of? What if I was wrong? What if I divorced you because I couldn't stand the thought of living without you? Maybe I had to take the steps to end this formally because for all intense and purposes, you ended it when you walked out that door. I would have never left you, Robin, and you had no trouble leaving me. Why do you just ignore that when judging me?"

"I cannot have this same conversation over and over again. I didn't leave you. I went to help Jason and I will not apologize for that. He needed help and I could give it. I never thought you would give me an ultimatum but you did and you got what you wanted. I was held against my will and I was tortured, so I'm pretty sure I learned my lesson. Now stop this, please."

"Do you think that's what I wanted to have happen? That's the lesson I wanted you to learn?"

She stood up and walked to face him.

"I think you're scared to be alone. I think my coming home messed up your plans to be with Sam and now that she's back with Jason and Sabrina seems a little off kilter, you are looking to me for your fall back. I'm just not able to be that for you, okay?"

He looked into her eyes and smoothed her hair back, stroking her cheek.

"For someone who claims to be so smart, you are completely wrong."

She tried not to react to his hand on her cheek, but she didn't move it.

"I'm not wrong," she said.

"You are. I love you. I have never stopped loving you. I was hurt and I did the only thing I knew to do. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I can't tell you that I wasn't destroyed when you walked out. What I can tell you is that I would have left Sam in a heartbeat to be with you. Hell, I did leave her when I saw you and I had no idea Jason was alive. Sam and Sabrina were the fallbacks, Robin. You have always had my heart. There is no comparison."

She moved his hands and went to sit down.

"Please leave," she said softly and put her head in her hand.

"No," he sat down next to her. "You need to talk to me. Is there any way for us to work through this? Is there any hope?"

"I can't breathe," she said.

"What? What is it?" he tilted her face and looked at her.

"When I got the divorce papers, I felt a part of me die. I gave up fighting. I knew there was no hope that anyone was going to find me because it was confirmation that you weren't even looking. I thought, and I told the men who had me over and over, that even if you hated me. Even if you were so angry you never wanted to see me again, you would still look for me because of Emma. You would rather her have me in her life than be without," she said as her tears spilled over her cheeks.

"My last try was the video I got Helena t allow me to send. I knew it would work. I knew you would have to see the truth when you saw me and heard me. But you didn't and you turned away from me. You and my mother didn't care that I was dying inside. I was sitting in a dark car, telling you both that I wasn't good enough to be in this world with you and you left me alone. You didn't even try to look for me. I just don't understand that except to think that you never really loved me. I don't understand any other answer."

"Then let me enlighten you," he said softly. "You weren't the only one who was broken. I consider myself a proud man, Robin, but you have no idea what it did to me to lose you. I changed, and not for the better. I can't explain why I didn't figure it out when I saw the video. My only defense was simply that I couldn't bear the thought of you once again leaving me and I just cut every thought of helping you out of my brain. I had to move on. I had to be present for Emma and for me job and I had to somehow figure out how to move forward. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I can't say it any clearer than that."

She nodded and took his hand in hers.

"I'm sorry, too. I don't know if I've said that enough. I'm sorry you went through everything you did and I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to watch me die that way."

"Can I ask you something?" he asked her.

She nodded.

"Do you still love me?"

She didn't hesitate.

"More than ever."

He smiled and shrugged.

"Then why can't we work through this? Why are you so sure we are over?"

"Because love has never been the problem. You told me you didn't want to forget how to love me, and you did. I'm getting there. I'm going to forget how to love you because that's the way it should be. I think we can be much stronger alone, Patrick. I wish you all the best, but it isn't going to be with me."

"Why not?" he leaned closer to her.

"What do you mean?"

"Why can't it be with you?"

"Because it can't," she said as he moved closer.

He could see she was exhausted and he decided to let it go for now.

"Okay, but right now, right here, I'm not leaving you alone. I hear you and I won't pressure you anymore, but for your safety and for Emma, I will stay here on the couch tonight."

"No," she said.

"Robin, I am not leaving you alone."

"No, I mean you can't stay on the couch. I need to sleep on the couch. I can't go in my bed yet," she said and started to cry.

He looked at her and nodded.

"For right now, please let me hold you," he said as his voice cracked.

"No, I can do it," she sobbed. "I just want to feel safe. I hate being so scared, Patrick. It's not like me."

He smiled and moved the pillow to his lap.

"What makes you feel safe?"

She lay down with her head on his lap and took a shaky breath.

"You. You make me feel safe," she said softly as she closed her eyes.

He covered her with a blanket and smoothed her hair back.

"You are safe. You are safe and you are loved."

He ran his fingers through her hair and vowed to hold her all night long. Nothing would hurt her again.

Nothing.

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