After the whole shit yesterday that went down, I took time to ask Ooyodo what the girls were thinking that night, after she was done with the daily stuff she does with secretary stuff everyday since she got here, which was like two days ago.

Ooyodo said that it was a good thing that I decided to go talk to 'em, 'cause now apparently they don't really see me as this completely robotic, inhuman drill sergeant anymore. I had convinced them enough that I actually had a chance of being a good person, and that more importantly, they understood that there was a lot goin' on for me as well that they couldn't necessarily see. But at the same time, Ooyodo made sure to add, I really needed to change my drilling methods. It's clear as motherfucking glass that these girls won't handle the same kind of drilling that I would normally give new recruits in the army or the navy. Even I know that.

So I agreed to lessen the intensity of the drills, which made Ooyodo look like she hadn't felt that relieved in years - though I have no idea exactly how old they are to begin with. Ooyodo said that she would go and inform the girls right away, but I told her not to, that I'd tell them up front. It's my responsibility after all. Somehow, it doesn't feel right havin' Ooyodo go tell them something like that. Something like this I should say myself.

After that, I guess I looked stressed to Ooyodo, 'cause she immediately started apologizing profusely for all the shit that's been happening. I asked her why she was apologizing. Like, it's not like she's the one responsible for all this crap. Arguably, it's my fault, all my fault. (This wouldn't be the first, nor the last, time that the fault would be entirely mine...) Ooyodo said that she needed to apologize because...well, I'm pissed off. If the superior's angry, if the man who gives her orders is gettin' mad, somebody has to apologize, right? Someone's gotta apologize to rectify whatever's been done injustice, even if the one apologizing isn't necessarily the one who's responsible for the wrongdoing.

I just laughed right her face.

That shocked Ooyodo even more. I made sure my laugh would intentionally sound obnoxious and blatantly rude, and man oh man, did Ooyodo get it. She clearly didn't know why I was laughing, though.

I asked her if it was, y'know, like a Japanese thing to do that, to apologize in a situation where you didn't do anything yourself but something was going wrong. She said that while it wasn't necessarily a Japanese thing to do, she just felt like somebody had to apologize. So then I asked her, even if she herself didn't do anything wrong or was directly responsible for anything? And she just stands there, noddin'.

So then I laugh some more, and Ooyodo just keeps standin' there, not knowin' what the goddamn fuck is wrong with me.

I had to explain to her that in America where I come from, when someone makes a mistake and it's obvious who's made the mistake, we expect that person who's made that mistake to be the one responsible for providing an apology. Maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe it's a personal thing that only I really believe in, but whatever the case, I'm the only American here so it ain't like I'm about to find out whether it's cultural or just something that I think. I told Ooyodo that Americans generally don't like apologizing, that apologizing is seen as something only weak people do, or people who want to suck other people's dicks and earn people's pity do. Or what people who do stupid shit need to do but almost never do, there's that, too.

Ooyodo then asked me if I didn't want her to apologize so "needlessly" then, seeing that it seemed like I didn't like her apologizing. I told her that while I didn't really have a strong opinion on it, I said that I'd apologize personally whenever the situation warrants one from me because of what I did. And because I've made some of my ship girls cry, I'll apologize for it, simple as that. And hopefully make it up to them somehow.

I did mention, though, that I'm still pretty stressed out, not necessarily because of the initial grindin' of gears that's been going on between me and the ship girls, but just the usual stresses of traveling around and having to be busy with shit. I also said that the nerves of just being in a whole new place was nerve-racking as fuck. Ooyodo said that she and Akashi were a bit on the defense themselves about what their commander would be like. Ooyodo said that she was thankful that I turned out to be a nice guy.

If only she knew what I've done throughout my career. I don't think anyone would wanna ever give me the privilege of being called a "nice guy".

What is a "nice guy" anyway? Nothin' but a miserable pile 'a fake stories 'n bullshit ideals.

'Nuff 'a that, have at you!

Enough obscure references.

Afterwards, as Ooyodo was out there conducting drills with the girls, I brought the stereo system that I brought with me with my shit and started installing them into my office. I had to first install some metal holders that'll hold the stereos up into the walls so that they'd provide good surround sound, so I went over to Akashi and borrowed some of her tools to get the job done. She asked me what I wanted to use them for, and when I told her, Akashi seemed really surprised. She said that she didn't expect me to actually know how to use tools like them, which, to me, is completely fuckin' ridiculous. Like, who doesn't know how to use a tool as simple as an electric hand drill? Like, seriously, how don't you know how to use that fucking thing? But unfortunately, I didn't have enough time to get the stereos fully installed, but I did manage to finish the drilling of the metal holders in place before I had to head out.

So my drills began for the ship girls. Murakumo was still here with us, so I can assume she's taken my words to heart and has decided to give me a second chance. That's what I interpret it as, anyway. Before starting, I cleared my throat, all awkward and shit, and announced that I would not drill them so harshly, that I would take into consideration that they were girls too, not just ship girls, if that makes sense. They immediately all looked relieved as fuck, just like how Ooyodo reacted when I told her my decision to stop drilling the girls so toughly. That being said, however, I told them that I still expected them to put their all into the drills, that I expected them to become no less disciplined soldiers that I've produced before. Everyone cheered, so I promised them that I'd make dinner for tonight, which surprised them. Inazuma said that it wouldn't be necessary, but I said that I'd do it anyway, Admiral's orders, you know.

I had thought about what I'd have to do in order to make my drills more bearable for the ship girls, so I decided to lay off the whole up-in-your-fucking-face tactics, the "GET UP SOLDIER! YOU THINK THIS'S TOUGH? YOU THINK THIS SHIT'S TIRING WHEN HUMANS CAN MARCH LONGER THAN YOU CAN!?" kinda shit and just stick to the basics. Just stick to the basics, don't do anythin' else unnecessary, so I did that, and it worked. The girls didn't cry, they did what I asked obediently and promptly. Maybe it's 'cause they knew what I'd be like if they pissed me off and didn't follow my orders, or maybe that's how they would've acted whether or not I drilled them like this the entire time. But I'm just glad no one's had to break down into a miserable pile of bawlin' fits. Even though, admittedly, it was tough for me, because I'm so fuckin' used to my usual way of always havin' to yell at the guys I'm drilling.

I think it's because most of the time, whenever I start drilling a fresh new batch of recruits, they're almost always rowdy and never wanting to follow orders, so I gotta beat that shit into their fucking brains in order to get anywhere near a good start to actually drilling them. These girls already know that they need to follow orders, so doing that kinda stuff is just overkill. I guess this is all my fault this time around. Oh well...I've made worse and more permanent mistakes before.

At least no one seems to be hating me for fucking ever for making an honest mistake.

So as promised, I made dinner for everyone that night, which turned out to be some quick naval curry that I used to make routinely in the Navy while I served on the George Washington. I thought they'd hate it, 'cause the whole promise of making them dinner was just a whimsical one that I just thought up on the spot, and I was like, shit, I didn't think this through all the way. So I made curry with whatever ingredients that I had at my disposal...which wasn't much, mind you.

They all fucking loved it. Everyone, even Error, WHO FUCKING FED BATSUBYOU THE MOTHERFUCKING CAT THAT CURRY, loved it.

That blows my mind. My brains were literally all over the kitchen floor and the walls, and I had to fucking scoop them up with a goddamn spatula.

They loved it?

They fucking loved it? What kind of a world am I living in right now, where my SHITTY NAVAL CURRY is ACTUALLY APPRECIATED! ? ! ? ! ! ? ! ? ! ? !

AND THE WORST PART IS? THE WORST PART IS?

THEY WANT ME TO MAKE THEM DINNER FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

I'm done. I'm so fucking done. I'm in a state of utter confusion, no, not even that, I'm going through an identity crisis right now. These girls who have NO FUCKING REASON to like me or my cooking are all out of their damn minds asking me to make them that exact same curry for them for an entire week straight. I don't even know whether it's more appropriate to stick a knife down my throat because I don't want to have to force anyone to go through that kind of torture of eating my naval curry for a week straight or if it's more appropriate to act genuinely surprised that people actually like that shit.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I intentionally whipped up some shitpot for them to eat, but the way they reacted to it was like, shit, what the hell did I just do right? I just - I just don't fucking get it. I didn't accidentally slip some hallucinogens in the curry, did I? Uhhhhh...well, welp, guys, in case the MP come along 'n court-martial my ass to hell and back for "intentionally" drugging their ship girls, you'll know what happened. It's all written right here. Thank God I decided to keep a motherfucking journal, right? RIGHT? RIGHT?

I installed the rest of the stereos just before coming to my room and writing this journal. I just wanna go to sleep, I don't even know what to think anymore when people think my curry's the best shit they've ever eaten. I think I'll just go to sleep and all of tonight's just gonna be this convenient dream...