Note: Chris = C'rizz. (Everyone else should be obvious enough.)
Almost a month after finishing the filming of the music video for 'Hell In High Heels', the band and their team head back to England for a break in their tour. Glastonbury starts in less than four days and there's a lot to get through in the meantime.
"Sorry, I must have heard you wrong, I could have sworn you just said we're doing a TV interview with Kovarian," Nardole says to Clara after she mentions it during the plane trip back.
"No, you heard me right."
Theo sighs. "We have to. We can't avoid her. She's too big of a player in her field. Besides, it's a live interview, so she won't be able to twist our words at all."
"But doesn't she hate you? She made some fairly unsubtle digs at us in that Saxon interview," Bill says.
"It'll be fine," Theo insists. "We can handle Kovarian."
"Why does she hate you, anyway?"
"Oh, he broke up her marriage," Missy says, without looking up from her copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Bill has a bar of chocolate halfway to her mouth. It stops. "Um. You what?"
"She did that herself," Theo says defensively, shifting in his chair uncomfortably. A moment later, he adds, "besides, it wasn't just me, it was River as well. And you hardly made it better."
"I had nothing to do with it," Missy says, sounding offended.
"You had sex with her wife!"
"What?!"
"Ex-wife, you'd already broken them up by that point," Missy corrects, before chuckling a little bit, finally dissuaded from her book. "She was… something else. She liked giving orders while handcuffed. It was delightful."
"I never needed to know what Tasha Lem likes in the bedroom, thank you," Theo says, shaking his head.
"Hang on, hang on, Kovarian was married to Tasha Lem?" Bill asks, amazed. "As in, gorgeous, glamorous, weird actress Tasha Lem who isn't really on talk shows anymore because she talks about her religion too much?"
"Yeah, didn't you know?" Nardole asks. "They weren't legally married, because they couldn't be, at the time, but they'd had a little ceremony and had a civil union and all that. It was fairly public knowledge, they didn't hide it. It was in a load of the magazines."
Bill wonders if she somehow missed every single magazine that covered this. Clara, meanwhile, has left the conversation to go and sit near Ashildr with a Jane Austen book. Ashildr is probably playing Dungeons and Dragons again. Or looking through the latest Soapsy memes/trolling the Horizoner fanbase. Who could know, really?
"Anyway, we'll worry about Kovarian later, first we have something much more important," Theo says, rubbing his hands together and grinning widely. "We've got an engagement party to crash."
Bill's chocolate bar, at this rate, is never going to reach her mouth before either it or she have disintegrated from old age.
"Again. Um. What?"
"River's girlfriends just got engaged," Missy says, back to her book now.
"Helen and Liv, yes," Theo says with a nod. "The party will be starting a few hours after we land, and River thinks we're flying in tomorrow. We're surprising her. It was Helen's idea."
"Only Helen fucking Sinclair would spend time ensuring that her other girlfriend got a special surprise of her own at her engagement party," Missy grumbles.
"You barely know Helen," Bill says, frowning at her.
"We've been texting," Missy says absently.
"About what?"
"Songwriting, ancient languages, 60's music, you name it," Missy says. "Does it matter? Or does it surprise you that I do actually get on with people outside of this group, sometimes?"
"Well-"
"For your information, you're absolutely right, I do not. She's a good conversationalist but she's too nice, she's so boring the moment you leave the field of academics-"
"Alright, that's enough," Theo cuts in. "I won't have you bad-mouthing her."
"You know that she's not your girlfriend, right? Just your wife's one? You don't have to get protective over her, it's silly."
"Not to me, it isn't, she's my friend."
"So am I."
"You're a pain in my backside, is what you are."
"Only when you ask nicely," Missy murmurs as she turns the page.
Bill, having finally taken the chance to eat some of her chocolate bar, half chokes on it and gets up to go and sit by Ashildr instead, hoping there might be more sanity over there.
"What are you up to, anyway?"
"Reading erotic Missy/tide pods fanfic written by the same two people who write most of the Theodole stuff," Ashildr replies without missing a beat.
Bill takes a moment to be immensely thankful she'd already managed to swallow the first mouthful of chocolate. "Um. You what?"
"You heard me. They always deliver the best stuff. It's really well written, actually."
"Please tell me you're joking."
"You know I'm not. I'd just show it to you to prove it, but you don't want to read it, trust me, you'll just be scarred for life. I'm not that much of an arse."
Bill tries to imagine what such a story could possibly entail, and feels any appetite she'd had for her admittedly already doomed chocolate bar disappear entirely. She moves towards the bin and spits it out, and goes back to her seat to put her headphones in and bemoans the fact that she'll never know peace and contentment again, with how mental her friends and fanbase are.
The engagement party is at River's mansion, where Helen and Liv also live, since Helen wants to be around River and Liv wants to be around Helen. They all apparently have their own bedrooms, but Bill suspects that Helen doesn't spend much time in her own, between her two girlfriends.
Bill is also 79% sure that River has, uh, joined in with Helen and Liv at least once. Probably a lot more than once. Unfortunately, Bill is too awkward to find a way to ask any of them about that in polite conversation, so it's just a theory for the moment.
The six of them get dressed and made up just before they land, and to Bill's surprise, there's someone there to meet their private plane.
Bill recognises him instantly as one of her favourite musicians, like, ever - Johan Smith, frontman of the band Neverland. A pretty boy sort, with soft long hair around his collar, and bright eyes, he is the only person other than Nardole who seems to be able to carry off a waistcoat in the 21st century and not make it look pretentious.
"What are you doing here?" Theo asks, sounding affronted.
Johan just laughs. "It's good to see you too, cousin."
The two of them hold their gaze for a few moments, Theo's face unreadable, until Theo breaks into a grin and is instantly wrapped in a joyous hug by the younger man.
"Wait, what? Johan Smith is your cousin?" Bill asks.
"Obviously," Missy remarks, with a roll of her eyes. This draws Johan's attention to her, and his face lights up.
"Missy!"
He practically bounds the few metres between them and laughs with delight before taking her face in his hands and kissing her. It only lasts a few moments before he pulls away, still beaming, but it sure is… enthusiastic.
"I'm sure you probably look wonderful," he tells her. "It's so good to see you!"
Missy does not seem surprised by any of this. She smiles at him fondly and pats his cheek. "And you, dear. How are you?"
"Wonderful, wonderful, everything's splendid, we do after all have an engagement to celebrate," he replies, bouncing on his heels. "That's why I'm here." He grins at them and gestures to his car. "I'm your designated driver."
"Oh good, you're here," Clara says, as she and Ashildr finally disembark from the plane. "We'll get a lift with Jack. I think one of his boyfriends is dragging him out for drinks somewhere not too far from River's place."
"Excellent, well, then let's be going, Helen is so eager to see you all again, and I can't wait to see the look on River's face," Johan says. "I know she's been missing you terribly, Theo. Even if she'd never say so in so many words."
"Yes, yes, they're very nauseatingly in love, we know," Missy says impatiently. "Shall we go, then? The only thing worse than seeing River again might just be standing around on this airstrip."
Johan nods his head for a moment, before his gaze falls on Bill and Nardole. "Wait, no, I haven't properly met your friend yet!" He strides up to Bill and clasps her hand. "You must be the wonderful Bill Potts nobody can stop talking about. It's an honour."
"Uh, thanks," Bill says, surprised. "Same here. I really love your music. I went to one of your concerts like, four years ago. Best concert I've ever been to."
"Really?" Johan's face lights up. He seems genuinely taken aback by the compliment. "I'm so glad you enjoyed it!"
"Everyone loves your concerts, they're amazing, that's literally what you're famous for," Bill says. Given that he's famous for forgetting his own lyrics and then making up new ones, every Neverland concert is different to the last, and that's become the band's most defining feature.
"Is it?" Johan asks, rather absently. "I thought I was famous for my creative workaround of my failing cognitive retrieval paths."
"Just say thank you, you twat, so we can go," Theo says, rolling his eyes. "I want to see my wife."
"Yes, yes, of course-" Johan says, only for his eyes to move to the last member of their group and then light up. "Nardole! How could I not see you there, I'm so sorry!"
To Bill's amazement, Johan kisses Nardole with the same, excited greeting he had Missy.
Nardole happily kisses him back, and looks properly chuffed afterwards as he smooths out his waistcoat. "Good to see you too, Johan. Always a pleasure."
Bill doesn't know whether this is simply an idiosyncrasy of Johan's, or if somehow Missy and Nardole share a boyfriend who is also Theo's cousin and Bill was never told about it.
Probably the former. God, she hopes it's the former.
Bill has been to River's mansion a few times before, but this time they come through a back entrance, into the biggest library that Bill has ever seen in a private residence. Waiting inside is Helen, who beams upon seeing them.
"You're here!" she exclaims. "Oh, and you all look wonderful."
"Hey, this was your idea, remember? Fairly sure you're the wonderful one here, Helen," Theo says as he approaches her. He hovers in front of her for a moment, a sudden uncertainty in him that she seems to pick up on and then share. A moment later, though, they're hugging, and smiling widely. Bill suspects maybe this is the first time they ever have had a proper, affectionate hug.
"Thank you," Helen says quietly, shutting her eyes for a moment and seeming to just let herself bask in the hug for a moment. Bill knows the feeling all too well. There's something so soothing - no, healing - about Theo's hugs.
"No, thank you," he replies, before they break apart.
Helen notices that everyone is watching them, and flushes a little before pushing a strand of hair out of her face, looking embarrassed. Bill gets the idea she isn't used to being the centre of attention - which makes sense, given her girlfriend and wider social circle.
"Well, everyone else is in the courtyard, if you want to follow me."
Part of Bill wants to catch up to Helen as she moves off, an insistent little platonic crush in the back of her heart going talk to her be her friend be her friend without ever needing to stop for breath because it's not a voice that requires oxygen.
"Cut it out," she mutters, getting a slightly weird look from Nardole, who apparently overheard her.
Helen and Theo seem to be intent on walking together, though, so Bill will leave them to it. This moment is about them surprising River, so Bill is hardly going to interfere with that.
The courtyard is strung with fairy lights that paint a beautiful, ethereal picture, with comfortable outdoor seats around a couple of small tables laid with drinks and food. There's plenty of room in the middle for dancing, and Bill thinks she recognises the song playing as one of their own, one from their first album called Friends Only.
Bill spies River facing away from them, her hair making her stand out instantly. There's not many others present, the party itself being rather a more intimate affair.
It's difficult not to fangirl a little when she spies the other three members of Neverland. Charley Pollard and Chris Mercer are talking between themselves, and Lucie Miller some way off talking to a young woman and an older man that Bill doesn't recognise.
There are also four others that Bill recognises, the members of River's backing band and her chief stylist, which is who she's talking to, with Liv at her side.
River hasn't noticed them come in.
"You know, I don't know what this music is, but it's rubbish," Theo says loudly, and everyone in the room goes quiet and turns to look at them.
River stares at him, eyes widening. A moment later, she crosses to him with a few powerful strides and pulls him down into a thorough kiss. His arms wind around her waist and hold her to him as he kisses her back.
"Surprise," he murmurs against her mouth.
"You sentimental idiot," she says when they part, her eyes shining as she looks from him to Helen. "Idiots. This has Helen Sinclair written all over it."
"Surprise," Helen repeats, with a little smile, and then River's out of Theo's hands and kissing Helen, just as thoroughly.
"Would it kill you to just let things be about you, for once?" River asks her, laughing with that soft, giddy fondness that only ever comes out when she's with Theo or Helen, and that youthful joy in her that seems to be bespoke to Helen alone.
Helen laughs as well, shrugging helplessly. "Well, no, of course not, but you've been so wonderful about all of this, this whole party, and letting us live with you, and let's not forget that time that Liv and I got stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a broken down car and you left that huge fancy recording company party just to come and pick us up-"
River kisses her again. "You're getting worked up, darling. Not that it isn't adorable, but it makes me want to do very inappropriate things to you, and we're currently here to celebrate your engagement with all of our friends."
"Right," Helen breathes, cheeks red, "yes." She looks at Liv, and something in her expression turns into one of enamourment as they meet eyes and Liv gives her an amused little smile. "Yes. We are."
"Good to see you haven't forgotten about me," Liv says wryly.
Helen swallows, and Bill can practically see the sheer power of her feelings just in the slightly breathless way she speaks and shakes her head. "Never."
"I think I'm going to be sick," Missy says from behind Bill.
"Oh for god's sake, can't you keep your allergy to wholesome moments to yourself for five seconds?" River asks her with great annoyance.
"Bite me, Song," Missy retorts, making her way towards the older man near Lucie that Bill had spotted earlier. "Max, you're a semi-tolerable person, you'll have whiskey or port or something, won't you? I need alcohol to deal with this much sentiment in one room."
Max looks to be in about his late sixties, his white hair slicked back, dressed in a suit too warm for the mid June climate. He has dark, shrewd eyes that lock onto Missy in an instant.
"Charming as ever, I see, Melissa," he remarks, gripping his lapels and regarding her with a strange mix of amusement and scrutiny as she approaches her. "And just as opposed to attention as ever."
"Don't you start," Missy grouches. "Alcohol. Now."
"I believe I'll pretend there was a please sometime in that sentence," he says airily, before pulling a flask from his jacket and handing it to her. "I want this returned to me later, understood?"
"Of course," she says, "much obliged." With that, she takes a swig and goes to find a seat somewhere in the corner.
Max, meanwhile, moves his gaze to Theo, who is staring at him with an odd sort of resignation.
"You had to invite him, didn't you?" Theo asks his wife.
"Oh yes, how dare I enjoy my brother in law's company," River replies, rolling her eyes.
"Still breathing then, Max?" Theo asks, crossing over to him.
"Still as lacking in manners as ever, I see, Theodore," Max retorts, making Bill lift her eyebrow and go to follow. She'd somehow forgotten that Theo has two older brothers - though to be fair, she is also fairly sure she'd been stoned out of her mind the one time Theo had directly mentioned them. "But then I already knew that, since Mother won't stop complaining about how you haven't gone to visit them in months."
"It's almost like I've been in another country or something," Theo says, eyebrows almost in his hairline.
"You know geography is meaningless to her-"
"That isn't the point-"
"Grandfather, this is a party, surely we can save the family squabbles for later," the young woman beside Max says gently, putting a hand on his arm. (She's a slender, tiny thing. For all Bill's jokes about Ashildr being an elven princess, this woman actually looks like one with her slight frame, angular face, and dark hair cropped closely to her head.)
"Yes, yes, you're right, of course," Max agrees, nodding, and looks at the greater party. "Go on, everyone, get back to whatever it was you were doing. Ignore an old man and his family squabbles."
Theo is now looking at the young woman with a very warm expression. "Hello, Susan," he says, with a small smile. "It's been too long."
She breaks into a large grin and runs into his arms for a very tight hug.
"It's so good to see you, Uncle Theo!" Susan squeals, holding onto him for dear life.
"That's Great Uncle Theo," Max sniffs.
"Aw, thanks, Max," Theo says with a shit-eating grin, only for Max to scowl at him and stride forward several paces for the sole purpose of whacking him with a handkerchief.
"You know perfectly well that isn't what I meant," he complains.
Theo's grin remains. "Yes, but you always rise to the bait so well."
Max grumbles and goes to sit down next to Missy, while Susan just giggles and is finally put back on the ground by Theo.
"He's so silly sometimes," she says, "besides, Great Uncle is such an unnecessary mouthful, don't you think?"
"It also makes me sound about a hundred and fifty years old, so yeah, no thanks," Theo agrees, snorting. "It occurs to me, I don't think you've ever met my friend Bill."
"Oh, no, I haven't!" Susan says, eyes wide as she looks at Bill and holds back another squeal before clasping Bill's hand. "It's so good to finally meet you, I've heard so much, and read all the interviews-"
"Right, well, it's good to meet you too," Bill says, a bit taken aback. In social situations like this, it's still weird to realise people know who she is. "Susan, was it?"
"Yes, this is Susan Foreman, my great niece," Theo says. "Don't ask me why Max has a different last name to us, because the story is much longer than it is interesting."
"Noted," Bill replies.
"Don't mind me, I'm just over here, being ignored, like chopped liver," a voice remarks from behind Susan, and they turn to see Lucie Miller, bassist for Neverland, standing at the table, a spring roll in her mouth as she complains. She's around Bill's age, maybe a bit younger, with blonde hair up in a ponytail and wearing a short, sparkly dark pink dress.
"Lucie Miller!" Theo says, grinning. "My second favourite bassist in the world, in the flesh."
"But first favourite with buggered legs, right?" Lucie jokes, and for the first time Bill notices the braces on both of her legs, ending just below the hem of her dress. Bill isn't sure why it took her so long to notice them, since being a fan of Neverland, she already knew about Lucie being disabled.
"Oh, of course," Theo replies, and he moves to hug her. She steps forward too, but her movement is slow and much more rigid, so he closes more of the gap.
"Do you know literally everybody?" Bill asks him.
"More or less," River remarks from behind her. "Do you mind if I steal her, Susan? My lot desperately want to lavish her with affection."
"Oh, of course!" Susan says, blinking.
"Um," Bill says, as she's shepherded towards River's band. She's met them all once or twice before - Anita and the two Daves, Proper Dave and Other Dave. There's also Evangelista, the chief stylist.
Bill's heart skips a beat. Anita and Evangelista are both incredibly pretty, two rather different types of pretty, and it's just… a lot. As River walks her over, Bill has vivid flashbacks to the first time she met Anita, when the other woman had flirted with her rather a lot and Bill had blushed horribly the whole time. Meanwhile, the first time Bill had seen Evangelista smile, Bill had tripped over a box of hair spray and nearly ended up on the floor.
Her cheeks feel stupidly warm again. Why do her friends have to know so many other attractive people? This is going to be a long night.
"Hey, Bill," Anita says, her American accent sticking out in a sea of Brits, lifting her can of beer as an extra gesture of greeting. "Hair looking amazing as always. I'm so jealous."
"Uh, thanks," Bill replies, smiling at her. She recalls Anita telling her that she gets so frustrated with managing her hair that she prefers to cut it incredibly close to her head, which is fair enough. The look suits her, anyway.
"I can't stop listening to your song," Evangelista says to Bill earnestly. "Will you guys be doing a proper studio recording of it at some point? I need it in my life."
"Oh, uh, I dunno," Bill says, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "It's… complicated."
"Did things not work out with your girl?" Anita asks, looking disappointed.
Bill swallows. "Uh, you could say that, I guess. I'd rather not get into it, if that's okay."
"Oh, yeah, totally," Evangelista says, looking so genuinely sympathetic that it almost hurts Bill. She reaches out and rubs Bill's arm. "Well, it's alright, you're so wonderful, the right girl will be out there for you. You could always ask Anita out, anyway! She'd be really keen."
"Lista," Anita says, sounding mortified, and to Bill's amazement, Anita is actually blushing a bit. "Sorry, Bill, ignore her, please."
"You got it," Bill says without hesitation. "I'm not… looking for anything like that right now, anyway. Still hung up on… you know."
"With a song like that?" Anita asks, eyebrows up. "Yeah, I bet."
"It is one hell of a song, though," Other Dave tells Bill, and Proper Dave chimes in his agreement, as does River, who rubs little circles into Bill's back where her hand never left it after guiding Bill over to the group.
Bill has to use about half of her total concentration to not get completely gay distracted by River's touch, but she manages it after so much practice with Missy, and is able to chat to them all, relax a bit, and enjoy herself.
And if she laughs a bit too much at Anita and Evangelista's jokes compared to those of the Daves, then oh well, it's not like everyone doesn't know she's the most hopeless raging lesbian anyway.
Clara and Ashildr have arrived by the time she moves off to speak to others, and Bill finds them talking to Johan, Charley and Chris.
Charley is a twenty three year old in a vintage suit with blonde curls cropped around her chin and the jolliest disposition known to a living person. (And she's about as much a woman as Theo is a man, if Bill recalls correctly - which is to say, not that much at all.) Chris is probably closer to thirty, and a quiet, almost sullen type. He has a roughly shaved head, and the entire left side of his face affected by a skin condition of some kind that makes it appear almost like scales, and he's known for changing coloured contacts each day depending on his mood. Today, they are a strange bright yellow.
"Hello, we haven't actually met, which seems awfully rude of the universe, if you ask me," Charley says once she notices that Bill has come over to join them, and she stretches out her hand. "Charley Pollard. Johan was telling me that you like our music! Well, I think yours is terrific."
"Oh, thanks," Bill says, blinking. She'd somehow forgotten how posh Charley is, or at least sounds.
"I liked your song," Chris says to Bill.
"Yeah?" Bill asks.
"It was very good, why wouldn't I?"
"Uh-"
"She's too modest, she doesn't know what to say to that," Ashildr remarks. "Her song is a literal gay masterpiece, but does she realise it? No."
"Okay, now you're just exaggerating for dramatic effect, what have I told you about not being able to pull that off, Ash?" Bill groans.
"Huh, you weren't kidding," Chris says to Ashildr, lifting a very thin eyebrow at Bill.
"Well, they're all right, I think it's brilliant, and frightfully romantic," Charley assures Bill, putting a hand on her arm.
"Thanks," Bill mumbles. She's torn between feeling warm and flattered and accomplished by all the praise, and wanting to curl up in a ball and scream but how can it be when it ruined everything and scared the Star Girl away, how can it be any good let alone brilliant when it failed, when it ruined everything -
"Hey," Clara says quietly, putting a hand on Bill's arm and breaking her out of her thoughts. "You alright?"
"Yeah," Bill says, sipping at the champagne she'd grabbed on the way over. "Fine."
Clara sighs. "Bill-"
"I said I'm fine, Clara, seriously. Leave it, yeah?"
Bill goes to sit by Missy, who is on her own now, Max having gone back to where Susan and Theo are standing with Lucie, Liv, and some other woman who looks to be a late arrival.
"Hey," Bill says to Missy as she sits down. "Can I have some of that?"
"Knock yourself out," Missy replies, handing Max's flask over. "Let me guess, they can't stop talking about your song and how good it is. And you feel like shit because it did the opposite of what it was supposed to."
Bill has barely had one mouthful of the whiskey when she stops so that she can stare at Missy with disbelief. "Are you an actual mind reader?"
"No, but I'm not bad when it comes to reading lips, or you," Missy says wryly. "Anyway, welcome to the corner of people who aren't in the mood for the party but don't want to ruin it. Stay as long as you like."
"Why are you in a shit mood, then?"
"Does there have to be a reason?" Missy asks, arching an eyebrow.
Bill snorts. "Suppose not. Especially not for you."
"Exactly."
They sit there in silence for a while, and Bill lets her head tilt back and her eyes shut as she listens to the music playing over the speakers in each corner of the courtyard. The playlist that seems to mostly consist of River, Event Horizon, and Johan's band, Neverland, which is kind of hilarious but so very River, since Bill is going to hazard a guess that she's the one behind it. She does hear some Bad Wolves and Beetles and Luke Smith and the Bannermen in there too, though, and one by that weird band The Nimons who never appear without weirdly shitty bull masks over their heads and never seem to have a consistent number of band members. (How many Nimons would turn up to a Nimons gig? No one ever knows. How many actual members are there? No one knows that either.)
Distant but distinctive grumbling from Theo has Bill opening her eyes to see him dancing with Clara and complaining when she laughs at his somewhat awkward movements. Bill has to smile at that. They're all so caught up in shit so much of the time that sometimes Bill forgets just how close Theo and Clara actually are. Still smiling, Bill shuts her eyes again for a bit.
A few songs later, a slow one comes on, by a band Bill doesn't actually recognise.
"What?" Missy's voice asks, and Bill opens her eyes to see Theo standing in front of Missy with an outstretched hand. "What is this? Your wife is over there."
"Yes, and? She's taking pictures of the newly betrotheds. Indulge me," Theo says.
Missy's eyebrow lifts. "Seriously?" Her voice is rather soft, either rather touched on her own way or just purely disbelieving and disdainful. It's weirdly impossible to tell which.
"Seriously, come on, we haven't in ages," he says.
"Okay, fine." She shrugs and takes his hand, getting up.
Helen and Liv, sure enough, are happily wrapped up in each other while a softly smiling River has a large camera and appears to be taking her job of photographer rather seriously. Johan and Charley are perfect partners, moving with grace and not missing a step, more mobile than all the others. Other Dave, meanwhile, has gotten Lucie to stand on his feet so that he can move them both around with more ease, and she's blushing a bit. Nardole and Chris seem to be having some kind of intent discussion as they dance, only seeming to be paying half attention to their feet, which is probably why they keep stepping on each other. Clara and Ashildr are slow to synchronise, but they're getting there.
Bill isn't sure what she expects of Theo and Missy, but Theo's hand comes to rest on her lower back, his other hand clasping hers down at their sides, and her other arm curls around him.
"Don't spin me," she says to him, quietly enough that Bill only just catches it and only because they hadn't moved very far away.
"I won't," he replies, and she rests her head on his chest as they continue to move, swaying more than dancing, but with perfectly coordinated footwork all the same.
Bill's previous thoughts about them being some kind of strange, discordant soulmates never feel far from the mark when she sees them in moments like this. It's hard to equate it with the times she's seen them shouting bloody murder at each other.
She can't take her eyes off them, not even to look at the various gorgeous women in the room. There's something so dynamic about them, so entrancing. And god, after everything that's been happening lately, is it good to see them looking like they're actually at peace, even if it's just for a few minutes.
Finally, the song ends, and they pull apart, and Theo clasps Missy's hands in his so that he can press a kiss to her fingertips. She stares at him with glassy eyes, only then respond by grabbing his collar and pulling him into a proper kiss, strange and desperate and one he responds to in kind.
"Well, alright then," Johan remarks when they haven't separated after about twenty seconds and most people present have stopped to stare at them. River is rolling her eyes, but good-naturedly.
Missy, without breaking the kiss, lifts her arm in Johan's direction and flips him off.
"So that Watch Over Her Body song from your first album-" Bill hears Charley say to Nardole.
"Yep," Nardole replies, shaking his head but unable to hide the reluctant fondness in his eyes.
"Right then."
Finally they do break apart, and Missy does a dramatic bow and curtsey to her audience, while Theo sheepishly makes a beeline for his wife and requests the next dance. Johan asks Helen to dance, while Anita and Evangelista take up together, and Nardole ends up with Proper Dave. Clara manages to pull Max into a dance, while Ashildr drinks campagne off to the side with Lucie, Liv, after Other Dave asks Susan.
Missy approaches Bill. "Come on, then."
"Oh, um, alright," Bill says, letting herself be pulled up and into what seems to be another slow number. It's nice to be close to Missy again, but she finds herself watching Theo and River over Missy's shoulder.
Theo and River seem to be flirting outrageously as they dance, like they always do. Bill will never not be amazed at how they are so clearly a couple who have been married for a while and yet still able to flirt like newlyweds or people who have only known each other for a few months. Theo's footwork isn't as good when he's with River, but she only seems to find his missteps endearing, laughing at each one.
"Earth to Potts," Missy says. "I know they're very cute or whatever it is you normal, empathetic people call it, but you know I don't appreciate not being given attention."
"Sorry," Bill apologises. "I just know they missed each other a lot."
"Yeah, well, they're not the only ones missing people over huge distances, so," Missy mutters, not even quite seeming to realise she's saying it.
"You mean like you and whoever it is you keep calling?" Bill asks.
Missy sniffs. "I told you, it's my sobriety sponsor."
"We both know that isn't true. Clara isn't right, is she? You're not going to do anything that would-"
"Clara's never right about anything," Missy snaps, "and you know what, yes, maybe you're right, maybe there really is a place I ought to be that isn't here."
She moves away from Bill and pulls out her phone as she walks off and out of the courtyard. Bill hurries after her.
"Hey, I know it's late, but I just realised I'd rather be… not here, not when I'm so close to you, finally," Missy is saying into the phone. "Would it be a pain if I just… headed your way? Okay. Good. I'll see you soon."
"Where are you going?" Bill asks after she hangs up. She's still following her, and Missy seems to know her way through the house, winding her way down some stairs into they come out into a huge garage filled with no less than five different cars. Two are fairly normal looking cars, likely Helen and Liv's, while the third is rather nice but still something you'd see around often enough, and two are outrageous sports cars.
Missy makes a beeline for the shabbiest one.
"Hey, woah, what the hell are you doing?" Bill asks as she throws open the door and starts digging around underneath the dashboard.
"Stealing a car. Chenka's, I think. I thought it was rather obvious."
"Um, okay, I'm not letting you steal a car, that's insane," Bill says, alarmed, hurrying to where the car is. "Are you - are you hotwiring Liv's car?"
"I'd much prefer to steal River's, but they're too ostentatious, so yes, I am," Missy replies, and the ignition flares to life. Her head pops back up a moment later, a smirk of triumph on her lips.
Bill has a spark of inspiration and runs around the front of the car so that she can slide into the passenger seat.
"What the hell are you doing, get out," Missy says, blinking at her.
"Nope," Bill says, smugly. "You either have to stay, or take me with you. Which I'm guessing you don't want to do."
Missy stares at her with great exasperation, looking to be on the verge of rolling her eyes. "I don't have time for this. Any minute now, Thete is going to realise I'm gone and-"
Bill crosses her arms. "Better get out quick one way or another, then."
"You have to let me go," Missy says. "And you can't come with me."
"You're going to have to make a pretty convincing argument as to why that is if you seriously expect me to let you," Bill tells her. "Who are you going to see?"
"My brother," Missy says, too quickly.
"Nope."
"It's true!"
"Missy, I'm not an idiot, don't you dare treat me like one," Bill snaps, feeling a tiny stab of hurt again. She takes a deep breath. "Missy, seriously, I'm your friend. You're one of my best friends in the world. You can tell me."
"No, I can't," Missy says softly. "I just… I can't. I wish I could, I really, truly do. God, I wish I could tell you. But I can't."
"Why can't you?"
"Because I promised."
"Promised who?"
Missy's hands grip the steering wheel, knuckles white, and she shuts her eyes. It's possible tears might be gathering in them, but there isn't quite enough light for Bill to be sure. "Bill, please. Get out of the car."
Bill has never felt more torn in her life. Part of her is screaming that this is a red flag, that this must be dangerous, that she absolutely shouldn't let her go. The other part wants to believe her, to listen to her. She seems to need this desperately. But then -
"Missy, is this to do with drugs?" Bill asks, voice low.
Missy whips her head around to stare at her, bewildered. "What? No, god, no." She cups Bill's cheek, her gaze holding Bill's. "Bill, darling, I'm clean, I have been for over thirteen years. I promise you."
"Okay," Bill says slowly, feeling like she's still about to make a huge mistake. "Then is where you're going dangerous in any other way?"
Missy swallows. "Only if you come with me." Bill opens her mouth but Missy's finger stops it. "That's possibly a touch overdramatic, but it's true, I think. Don't ask me to explain, because I can't."
"You promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay," Bill says, probably against her better judgement, but unable to deny those earnest, beautiful eyes so filled with a need she can't understand. "Okay. I'm trusting you. And if I find out I was wrong, then-" She takes a deep breath. "Well, I don't know, but we aren't going to be okay. You're really freaking me out right now."
"I know, I'm sorry, I wish I could explain," Missy replies, and she leans in to kiss the corner of Bill's mouth softly. "Thank you, dearest. It means more than you could know."
"What do I tell the others?" Bill asks as she gets out of the car.
"The truth," Missy says as she hits the garage door remote on the door. "That I left. What else could you tell them?"
"I dunno, it's you, how am I meant to know?"
"Fair point. I'll see you tomorrow sometime. Or the day after, since that's when we have that damn Kovarian interview. That'll be fun in the same way that pulling teeth is. Though I don't know, I could find a way to mention her wife, just to make her really spew - anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. That's later."
She starts to pull out once Bill shuts the passenger door.
"Be safe, yeah?" Bill calls after her.
Missy laughs. "I'll do my best, Pottsie. You have a good night."
With that, the grey car drives off into the night, leaving Bill staring after it and wondering if she'd just made a terrible mistake.
Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought! I'm giving you a longer chapter in exchange for probably a few extra days wait for the next update, just so y'all know.