Bill has never felt the mood of a room shift so drastically.
The cheers of the audience fill her ears, but they can't drown out the sound of her pounding heart as she looks across the way at Theo and Missy, who had gone rigid the moment they'd heard Saxon's name.
Now, as he gives them that smug grin, Bill can see Theo's hands are shaking. Missy, meanwhile, is still, stiller than Bill has ever seen her, her eyes impossible to read as she looks between Theo and Saxon.
Bill can't breathe, because she has no idea what is going to happen, until -
"Harry, you little shit, you really haven't lost your flair for the dramatic, have you?" Missy asks, laughing, getting up and holding her arms out to him. "Come here."
Wait. What?!
Theo looks at Missy, brow furrowing, looking as confused as Bill herself feels. Harry, meanwhile, lifts his eyebrows at her for a moment, as if he's surprised as well.
A moment later, however, he laughs too, and seems more than happy to accept - first leaning in to kiss her cheek, near her mouth. Missy wraps him in a tight, lingering embrace, and her eyes fall shut as she clutches at him. Bill sits up a bit straighter as she realises that Missy is whispering something in Saxon's ear. Something that makes him smile.
Theo is staring at them, frozen, eyes guarded yet clearly uncomfortable, as he watches. Bill feels a bit sick. Is it possible that she's had this... entirely wrong?
He was the only one who ever really understood me...
"Theo," Harry says as he and Missy break apart, "it's been far too long. Look at you, getting older really suits you, you know. You look fantastic. You both do."
Theo gets up, awkwardly, and offers him a hand to shake. "Yes, erm, thanks. You look good too-"
Saxon grins and takes his hand. "Come on, old man, you owe me better than that." He uses his grip on Theo's hand to pull him into a hug, and Bill has to do her best not to wince, because Theo is not great with hugs from anyone outside of his inner circle, but she's never seen him this tense before. "God, I missed you."
Once he releases Theo, who Bill definitely notices offers no such friendly sentiment in response, Saxon turns to look at Bill and Nardole.
"And you two! Potts and Dellora, we haven't had the pleasure." He strides over to them and holds out a hand to Bill, who forces herself to shake it even though every warning bell in her head is on full volume.
"It's an honour," Nardole says, with delight, clasping his hand eagerly.
"Is it? Brilliant," Saxon replies, and Nardole grins back at him. "You know, I think I might sit with you two. Make new friends."
With that, he squeezes himself in between Bill and Nardole. Thankfully the couch is big enough that they are able to shuffle and make room. Bill is not massively thrilled about this turn of events, or even comfortable, but all it takes is one look at Theo and Missy's tense faces for her to just be relieved that he isn't sitting with them.
"Thanks for having me, Maeve, really," Saxon says to Kovarian, who smiles widely.
"Thank you."
"It's wild to finally meet you," Bill manages to make herself say, trying to use the skills she's learned since joining the band, to say one thing which might technically be true but mean another entirely.
Saxon grins at her. "God, I bet, what have these two been saying about me?"
"Mainly that you three got up to some really wild stuff back in the day," Bill says.
Saxon's eyes spark and he throws his head back and laughs. "Oh, did we ever. Drugs, sex with various attractive people, you name it. Missy, do you remember that time we convinced Rani that Thete was dead? Do you remember how she shouted when he started coughing from trying to hold back the laughter?"
"You convinced your manager he was dead?" Bill asks, with disbelief.
"It was fairly hilarious," Missy says, not quite looking at them, a distant look to her eyes that says she's remembering, an odd quirk to her lips. "She was so much fun to annoy."
"Where is she now, anyway?" Saxon asks. "I miss her."
"Oh, off on some remote island with her fortune, doing a bunch of musicology experiments and interacting with people as little as possible, if I'm remembering correctly," Missy replies, waving her hand.
"So living her dream, then?"
"Absolutely."
"How's your wife, Harry?" Theo asks, having finally managed to remember how to talk, even if it still seems a bit forced. "She looks lovely."
"She is, she's just delightful," Harry replies, smiling. "I'll have to get you over for dinner sometime."
"You know, that sounds like so much fun," Missy says, blinking at him. "It really does. We might need to arrange that."
Kovarian smiles. "Well, wouldn't that be nice?"
"Thank you so much for organising this, Maeve," Missy says to her, giving her a smile that Bill recognises as being the one that looks sweet but is incredibly dangerous. "I promise you, I won't ever forget it. Not ever."
For a brief, glorious instant, Kovarian actually looks a little afraid. But then it's gone, and she's smirking.
"Oh, it's nothing," she says, "just trying to bring people together. Big personalities always have fireworks. And in your case, history. Now that you're all in the same room, maybe we could shed some new light on why the three of you decided to part ways?"
Missy eyes Saxon and swallows, while Saxon's face briefly betrays something darker than the blanket charm he's so far been pouring on. It's just for an instant, but it's long enough for Bill to see. Theo, meanwhile, as well as apparently lacking the ability to look at Saxon for more than a few seconds at a time, has his hands between his knees to make it less obvious how much they're still shaking. Bill hopes it isn't visible on camera.
"Irreconcilable differences," Missy answers after several seconds, watching Saxon carefully. It's not in sight of the cameras, but her fist is clenched where it sits between her and Theo, her knuckles white.
"Oh, is that what it was?" Saxon asks. His tone is light, but there's something underneath, some edge.
"Among other things," Theo says, quietly.
"What other things?" Kovarian asks.
Theo makes an odd, choking noise - a strange sort of ironic laugh. "Oh, you know. Loads of things. He eats pears, for one. I couldn't be friends with someone who likes pears."
"The pears?" Saxon blinks at him, and then lets out a loud laugh. "It was the pears, really?"
"As I say," Theo says, with a strange little smile, tight and yet somehow genuine. "Among other things."
"You abandoned me over pears, typical," Saxon says, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry, Harry," Missy interjects, with an odd grin. "Karma."
Bill can't ever remember being so uncomfortable in her life. All that she can think of is Missy's words back in the tour bus: if I ever see his face again, right in front of me, it's going to be greeted by my fist. Repeatedly. You know. Just to be polite. Have you considered I don't trust my own restraint?
It's hard to reconcile that with how Missy had reacted upon seeing him, but looking at her now, it does seem that although she's good at playing nice, she's starting to struggle with it. Theo is less good at the deception, clearly.
"Now, Bill, you must tell me these two are like these days," Saxon says to her, turning to give her a friendly grin and clapping his hand on her shoulder. "Are they boring now? Still wild as ever? You play any pranks on your manager?"
Bill holds back the urge to shove him away from her, and instead forces herself to smile. "They're great, honestly. I mean, Missy's completely off her nut, but I love her for that, you know? And Theo's like, the best person I've ever met."
"I second both statements," Nardole adds helpfully. "I'm just jealous you got to know them even earlier, and that they got to know you. Sorry, big fan of yours, here, forgive the fanboy tendencies."
Saxon laughs and claps him on the shoulder with his other hand. "Don't ever apologise for lavishing me with praise, Nardole, I thrive off it." He looks to Theo and Missy, who are still watching him intently, as stiff as ever. "Your friends are quite lovely, you know that? You're so very lucky to have them."
His grip is just a little bit too firm - not enough to hurt, but enough to be uncomfortable. Bill, for the first time, feels legitimately unsafe at a time that isn't walking home alone on some dark night.
"Yes, we are," Theo says, leaning forward, eyes not leaving Saxon's for a moment. "You know how I am with the people close to me, Harry. I protect them with everything I have."
"Yes, I do, Mr Valiant Protector," Saxon says, with a little sneer. "It's sickeningly cute."
"Don't forget about me, Harry," Missy adds. "I protect my friends too."
Saxon smirks. "I remember well." He swallows. "I've never seen anything as beautiful as you when you're absolutely furious."
"What about your wife?" Theo asks, voice cutting.
"Well, except her, obviously," Saxon says, with a charming little grin and not a second's hesitation, but to Bill, she can't help but think that it's a quick save, that Theo had far too kindly given him an out to what had been a risky statement to make in front of a live audience and camera.
From offstage, Bill sees Manton gesture to Kovarian.
"Unfortunately, that's all the time we have," Kovarian says, smiling at the camera, and then her guests. "Thank for all for joining me this morning, it's been an absolute treat."
"Thank you for having us," Saxon tells her, getting up to shake her hand, and then turning back to shake those belonging to Bill and Nardole. "Now, you two, come here."
He moves to hug Missy, and this time she barely hugs him back.
When it comes to Theo's turn, Bill sees Saxon whisper something to Theo, whose entire face turns ashen. He stares at Saxon as the other man lets go of him, his body once more completely rigid.
"Thanks everyone!" Bill says quickly, waving at the audience. "I'm sorry, but we've got to dash, we've got a thing to get to."
She manages to nudge Theo into moving, and Missy starts dragging him off.
"Catch you later, Harry," Nardole says politely, with a little half bow of sorts, before he follows.
Bill hears Kovarian signing her segment off, but they're already out of the studio and into the corridor, where an agitated Clara meets them -thankfully, it doesn't look like Saxon is trying to follow. Missy is still walking quickly, with a briskness to her pace and a hardness in her eyes that has Bill and Nardole following her without question.
"Oswald, call Jack, tell him to bring the car around now."
Clara does as she's told. "I'm so sorry, Missy, I didn't know he'd be-"
"Do you see me pointing the finger, Clara? Stop blaming yourself, for god's sake," Missy snaps, "I just want to be out of here. It's no one's fault but theirs."
By the time they reach the back entrance of the building, Jack is there waiting with a car. They all pile in, the back of it luxurious enough to allow for a forward facing seat and a backward facing one, allowing for all four band members to fit, with Clara in the front section with Jack.
"I'm sorry," Jack says over the barrier as they get in and he drives away, "I was watching, and - I didn't know, I swear."
"No way you could have," Theo says numbly. "Not your fault."
"For once, I'll agree," Missy says, eyes shut, voice tight, both of her fists clenched in her lap. "Not your fault. None of us could have seen this coming."
"Theo, what did he say to you?" Bill asks.
"Nothing," Theo says quickly, glancing at Missy. "Nothing."
"Well, one of you better start talking, now, because let me tell you that even though I have no fucking idea why, I've never felt as threatened as I did when he was sitting there next to me," Bill says, her heart pounding in her chest. "Until now, I was willing to let it lie, I was trying to back off. But now I think I'm owed an explanation."
"Possibly," Missy says, at the same time that Theo says, "No."
"Seriously?" Bill asks him incredulously. "You of all people are telling me no?"
Theo doesn't even answer. He just stares out the window. Bill realises that he's still shaking - trembling head to toe, his balled up fist pressed to his mouth.
Missy presses her lips together and directs her gaze outside the car too. Her fists are still clenched in her lap, but one reaches up to rake her hair out of her face. She's shaking too, just not quite as badly.
"Where are we going, Jack?" Clara asks.
"The London house," Jack says, "I know they haven't used it in a while, but it's the least known location, so-"
"No, that's perfect," Missy murmurs. "Thank you."
Jack hesitates. "Welcome."
That's when Nardole lets out a tiny yelp. Bill follows his gaze, and sees the blood on Missy's right hand that's visible now that she's opened it out. The blood that is coming from the tiny, crescent shaped cuts in her palm, and stained her fingernails.
"Missy," Bill says with horror.
Missy glances at it. "Oh, that," she says quietly. "Don't worry about it."
"Missy," Theo says, voice pained as he takes her hand and starts cleaning it with a handkerchief in his pocket. His hands are still shaking but he's utterly dutiful and almost reverent as he goes about the task.
"Well, how the hell else was I supposed to keep my cool in there?" Missy mutters, not looking at him.
Bill feels like she's going to be sick.
The rest of the car ride is quiet, painfully so, Bill so worried and confused that there's an actual ache in her gut. Clara is wearing an expression that makes Bill think she's feeling something similar.
When they finally arrive at the house, 107 Baker St, an apparent family heirloom of Theo's dating back over at least a century, gifted to him by Johan at some point, for some reason that was never fully explained to Bill.
They get out and head inside. Bill's been here once or twice - it's the closest thing that Theo and Missy have to a shared home together, as far as she knows. It's a spacious place, a nice mix of more classical design with some modern features. The walls are stark white, with odd round designs in them. Bill loves them even though she has no idea what they're supposed to be.
She's broken from her thoughts by the sound of a vase crashing into a wall. Bill whips around to see Missy standing there staring at the shattered pieces on the ground, her face twisted with an enraged pain, tears gathering in her eyes, and Theo having flinched horribly at the noise.
"Missy!" he says.
"I'm not sorry," she says immediately. "Not for any of it." She grabs another vase and throws that one too.
He tries to stop her, but he can't. She shoves him away.
"Stop holding it in!" she shouts at him furiously. "Don't you dare - don't you dare hold it in a second longer! I've put up with it for years but not anymore, not now-"
Sobs choke her words and she crumbles, stumbling into the decorative table that had been holding the vases and barely wincing as she hits the floor. She's half crying and half screaming into her knee, her hair falling into her face.
Bill had suspected the level of Missy's apparent issues for a while, but she'd never quite expected this. She doesn't know if she wants to run to Missy's side or in the opposite direction.
Theo looks between Missy and everyone else. Bill has never seen him look so conflicted, so completely at war with himself.
"I can't, Missy," he tells her, getting almost as worked up as her as he approaches her and kneels in front of her, shaking his head.. "I just… I can't."
"You can't avoid dealing with it forever-"
"Watch me," Theo says, voice thick. He looks like he's on the absolute verge of snapping somehow, but Bill doesn't know whether it's anger, or the kind of breakdown Missy is having, or something else altogether.
Without another word, he pulls Missy into his arms, and she cries into his shirt. Bill sees some tears shining in his eyes too.
There's something so horrifically private, and intimate, and wrong, about the moment before them, that Bill and the others see no other option but to quietly move off. Bill goes into the living area and sits on the couch, realising that she's crying too.
Crying for her friends, for what they might have suffered, likely at the hands of Saxon, to make them react like this. Crying for herself, for having to play nice while sitting next to a potential monster, while being touched by one. Crying for the not knowing, for how despite everything she still doesn't know exactly what happened, and now she isn't even completely sure she wants to.
She goes onto Twitter as a distraction, but of course, everyone is only talking about the interview.
saxonite - so Saxon CLEARLY isn't over Missy, my god. They were so obviously a thing. Did you see how she clung to him?
punkprincess - what the actual fuck did I just watch
merganfm - is it just me or did Theo and Missy look fucking terrified when he turned up? Like they were trying to put on a good face and all but :/
crystal_ss (replying to merganfm) - something seemed really off, yeah
yikes_lou (replying to crystal_ss) - there were Bad Vibes there, it was insane, Theo and Missy looked really fcking uncomfortable
amatalefey (replying to yikes_lou) - even Bill seemed kind of nervous tbh, though she did a good job of keeping everything friendly
queenbaloo (replying to amatalefey) - except like. Missy seemed really chill with him at the beginning? but then it just went away? I'm confusion
girldressedinblack - am I going to have to fight Saxon now?
stirmypotsy (repling to girldressedinblack) - IDK BUT I'LL HELP IF IT COMES TO THAT... but for now... surveillance™, we need more infoBill's phone starts receiving a call. It's from Helen.
"Hey, Helen, this isn't really a great time," Bill says, finding it a bit difficult to form words.
"Bill, where are you?"
"What?"
"River's about ready to tear London apart, for some reason, she needs to see Theo, I need you to tell me if you're with him."
"Yeah, yeah, we're at his townhouse, she'd know the one," Bill says, confused. "What's gotten into her?"
"I don't know, we were watching the interview, and the moment that Saxon appeared she was acting incredibly strangely, and by the end, I - god, Bill, I've never seen her like this, do you have any idea-"
"I dunno, but Theo and Missy are… really messed up after the interview," Bill says. "Like, Missy is having a full on breakdown, and Theo barely seems like he's holding it together."
She hears Helen telling River about the townhouse, faintly.
"Alright, she's on her way," Helen says, sounding a little relieved, before worry re-enters her voice. "You said Missy's - is she alright?"
"I really don't think she is," Bill says with a lump in her throat. "I think I need to find out how much Clara and Jack know about this, because I'm going to be really honest, I'm kind of terrified right now."
"I think that's a good idea," Helen replies. "I wish I could be more help-"
"Nah, it's fine, you're doing great. Thanks for helping with the River thing. Hopefully she'll make things better, she usually does with Theo."
"Exactly. Give everyone my love, when you can."
"Definitely."
They hang up, and the timing works out well, because Clara and Jack enter the room, with Nardole behind them.
Bill looks up at them. "Are they still-"
"They're just sort of… sitting there," Nardole says uncertainty. "Still crying, I think, but all quiet like."
"What do you guys know?" Bill asks them as they sit down in the other seats near her. "Jack, Theo told you to keep Saxon away. What did he say? Like, his exact words?"
Jack swallows. "He said that he was dangerous. That they had a history, and that he was dangerous, and he had to be kept away, no matter what. And that he's a practiced liar."
"That's it?" Clara asks, face falling.
"I tried to press him for more info, but you know what he's like, he wasn't having any of it," Jack says defensively. "Trust me, I really tried."
"Clara? What about you?"
"I don't know anything really," Clara says, biting her lip. "I remember that I was with Theo when he first saw the announcement about Saxon starting up a solo career. He froze up, and I'd… never seen that look on his face before." Her fingers knot in her lap. "I've… seen it a lot, recently. I've got my theories, but this is their lives, I don't want to be throwing my guesses around. I just know that Saxon is the ultimate bad news. That he needs to stay away. I can't believe I didn't consider Kovarian might pull something like this."
"Theo and Missy are the experts, and even they didn't expect anything," Bill says. "It's not your fault."
Clara stands up and starts pacing, new energy and anger feeling each step. "She was so beyond out of line, she went behind my back and my god I don't know how, but I'm going to make her regret it."
"Pretty sure everyone here wants to see Kovarian slapped, even if it's just with some kind of misconduct thing," Bill says.
"I hate seeing them like this," Clara says softly, coming to a stop behind the couch that Jack and Nardole were sitting on, her hands planted on the back of it. "Theo's my best friend in the whole world. And I know Missy's… Missy, but god, I think it physically hurt me to watch her lose it like that."
"Yeah, me too," Bill says.
Nardole is incredibly quiet. "I… need to stop being a fan of Saxon, don't I? He really did do something horrible. To Missy. Or both of them. I dunno."
"It looks like it," Jack says grimly. "Best to shelf that particular crush."
"I've been in denial about it for a while," Nardole sighs. "But yes. He's definitely… not good. I've never seen Missy like that before. I don't know if it's pitiful or terrifying."
"I think it's terrifying because it's pitiful," Clara remarks.
"It's not pitiful to be a victim," Jack says, frowning at them. "You think she wants your pity? She'd rip your throat out. Feel bad for her, sympathise, but god help anyone who tries to pity her."
Clara nods. "Fair point."
"I mean, I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking, right?" Jack asks, slowly. "That he probably hurt her? Maybe… pretty bad."
"Yeah," Clara says, voice barely a whisper.
Bill swallows. "Yeah."
"I just can't imagine Missy ever… allowing it," Nardole says. "She's a fucking hurricane of a woman, she'd never-"
"It can happen to anyone," Jack says darkly. "Believe me, I've seen it before."
"How do you think Theo fits into all of it, then?"
"He's playing it pretty close to his chest," Jack says, tightening his jaw. "It's hard to tell. But… if he found out, maybe he got in the way."
A brief silence hangs over them like a thundercloud as they all imagine it and wince.
"Oh, jesus, I almost forgot," Bill says. "River's on her way. Helen said she flew off the handle after watching the interview. So… I dunno what that means. River met Theo after all the Saxon mess, right? She couldn't have been involved."
"Don't think so," Jack replies, frowning.
"She's his wife, though, maybe he actually told her about it," Nardole suggests.
Bill nods. "One time she told me she knows stuff, like, stuff that isn't her business exactly but stuff she should know, since she's his wife and all." She takes a deep breath. "And I get it. I get there's some things you don't want to talk about, and would only tell your wife about, or whatever. But also... I hate this. I hate seeing them like this and not knowing! I know it isn't supposed to be our business but except now, it kind of is, isn't it?!"
Nardole watches her carefully. "Saxon really scared you today, didn't he?"
"All of it did!" Bill exclaims. "Their reactions to him, him in general, and now this? Missy, of all people, having a complete emotional breakdown in front of everyone? What the hell? How am I not meant to be totally freaked out?"
No one seems to have an answer, but Nardole gets up and sits next to her so that he can give her a big hug, and she leans into the embrace with a tiny sigh of relief, willing herself not to start crying again.
It isn't long before they hear a key in the front door, and they all hurry out into the entrance hall to see River hurrying towards where Theo and Missy are still sitting on the floor.
"I came as soon as I could," River says, not seeming to notice her audience in the doorway.
"You didn't have to-"
"I saw everything, of course I did," she insists. "Are you alright, my love?"
"I'm fine," Theo says, brushing off her hand where it had cupped his face. "You don't need to worry about me. I have bigger problems."
River looks at Missy, who is currently sitting with a knee pulled to her chest, the other stretched out, an arm resting on each as she stares at some point behind Theo's shoulder with an eerie blankness, tears dried on her cheeks.
River's eyes go to the still bloody hand, which is the one dangling over her knee, a smear now on the denim covering her legs.
"Oh, Missy," River breathes, with a little sigh. To Bill's amazement, she reaches out to touch Missy's hair and push it from her face with a gentleness that is just bizarre. "What are we going to do with you?"
"Fuck off," Missy mumbles, without looking at her.
"Sorry, not going to happen," River says grimly. "Up you get."
The moment she goes to touch Missy again, something in Missy wakes up, and she scrambles to her feet, shoving River away.
"I said fuck off, Song," Missy snaps, arms immediately curling around herself. "If you want to be here to coddle your idiotic, emotionally repressed husband, then knock yourself out. But don't you touch me."
River doesn't argue. She just watches sadly as Missy heads upstairs, before turning back to Theo.
"Come on, I'll draw you a bath, and we can talk," River says to Theo, taking his hand. He's still staring after Missy, but finally looks around at her.
"Sure, whatever you want," he says quietly.
River sighs, a look of utter heartbreak flashing through her eyes for just a moment, before it's gone, hidden behind a more neutral mask. She leads Theo upstairs, with only a quick glance back at the four remaining downstairs.
"Okay, River is being nice to Missy, the world must seriously be about to end," Clara says, making Jack snort a little.
"At least they've stopped crying for a bit," Nardole says, making a face. "That was starting to get weird. Not that crying is weird, but you know what I mean."
"But Glastonbury is in two days," Bill reminds everyone. "We're going to see Saxon there, surely? This was a controlled environment where no one could pull anything. What are we going to do if we run into him away from people, and cameras? What's going to happen?"
"Me and my team try to make sure you don't have to find out, that's what," Jack says with grim determination. "I don't ever want to see this happen again. Not to one of the best people I've ever known, and not to his psycho girlfriend that I'm actually starting to like."
"And if you're not an infallible force of security?" Nardole asks, brow creasing.
An uncomfortable silence falls, heavy with the possibilities of what could happen in that event. Bill breaks it.
"Then we're ready to help. However we can. And if that means kicking Saxon's arse? I'm game."
I'm really anxious to see what you guys think! Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you thought!