It's easier now. It's not as it ought to be but it's less awkward. In the first weeks after the Games I feel like both Peeta and I are grieving and we seek comfort in each other's presence, even if it's often just sitting beside one another on the couch watching bad television. There's still a strange distance between us and I have days when our situation makes me feel like a caged animal and I flee the house and keep my distance from him. He never says anything about it and in a way that's the most difficult part of all. That he's not reaching out. It's funny how we can be talking comfortably to each other one day and then the next we barely see one another. I think we just had too little time to prepare to be cohabitating and now neither one of us is sure how to act, or what we even are to one another.

Night time is the worst time. I lay there in the darkness beside Peeta, wanting so badly to be wrapped in his comforting arms as I fall asleep, but he makes use of the size of the bed which is enough to keep at least two feet of space between us. Sometimes, if I've had a particularly bad nightmare and wake up screaming, he will hold me and comfort me and be almost like the Peeta I miss so much. Almost. There's still a bit of distance there. What annoys me the most is that I have a strong suspicion that he keeps this physical space between us because it's too difficult for him to be physically close without getting to do anything more intimate than cuddle, when what I want for him to do is act on whatever urges he has and take our relationship to that next level before President Snow does something bad to us.

I miss Gale. I hardly see him at all because of his difficult work schedule. He hasn't been to the woods at all since I returned home from the Games but I still go out there every Sunday morning hoping to see him.

One such morning I give up on hunting when I know he's not going to show. We have enough food to keep our bellies full anyway – hunting is mostly a way for me to pass the time. I head home and walk through the door just in time to see Peeta putting his jacket on.

"Heading out?" I ask.

"Yeah. Going to see my family. Done hunting already?"

"Didn't really feel like it" I shrug. A sudden idea comes to mind. "Why don't I walk into town with you? I haven't been by Hazelle and the kids since we got back."

I don't know why I don't tell him that it's Gale I'm longing to see. He's no idiot and no doubt sees right through my little lie. If it bothers him he doesn't let it show.

"Okay" he shrugs. "Sure. I don't mind a bit of company."

We walk together towards town, neither one of us talking much. We part ways by the main square and agree to meet up again in three hours. Peeta walks off in the direction of the bakery and I steer my steps towards the Seam.

I have the hint of a smile on my face when I knock on Gale's door. I long to see him, to talk to him about what's been happening in my life, to hear him fill me in on what's happening in his. I long for some resemblance of what life used to be. But when Hazelle opens the door and looks surprised and a little displeased at the sight of me the smile fades.

"Katniss…" she says. "What brings you by?"

I get the feeling that my presence here doesn't feel as natural to her anymore as it used to. I decide to shrug it off and tell myself that there must be something else going on, like one of the kids being sick or her day just being really busy. Nothing has changed between her and me so why shouldn't I be welcome here like I used to be?

"I came to say hi, catch up" I say. "Actually, I mostly came to see Gale. He hasn't been to the woods in weeks."

Hazelle looks over her shoulder and seems to hesitate before she opens the door fully and steps aside to let me in.

"Come on inside" she says. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks."

I follow her to the kitchen in their small home. Even though it's cramped with five people under this roof I still find it more homely than the houses in the Victor's Village. Inside the kitchen the whole family has gathered, all of them falling silent when I walk inside, except for Posy who is so engrossed in her play that she doesn't seem to notice. Gale seems to be helping Rory with his homework and Vick is doing dishes. It seems so comfortable and relaxed and so much like something I would want to have for myself. But things were never like this in my house, not after my father died.

"Katniss…" says Gale, sounding surprised.

"Hello stranger" I say, determined to play it cool. I walk over and run my hand through Rory's hair before stopping beside Gale. "I thought I'd stop by and make sure you haven't forgotten that Sundays means you don't have to be in the mines."

There's a brief moment of silence and a strange tension in the room. Then Gale slowly stands up and looks at me intently.

"Miss me, Catnip?"

I do. I've missed him terribly. Feeling a strange lump in my throat I don't answer him verbally, instead I pull him close and hug him tight. I feel him wrap his arms around me in return and almost as if on a given signal the rest of his family continue on with whatever they were doing, talking comfortably amongst themselves.

I pull back from the hug and feel happy to see the smile on his face. He brushes a strand of hair from my face and gives my braid a light tug, which makes me think of Peeta and how he hasn't played with my hair since we got back from the Capitol.

"Why haven't you been out to the woods?" I ask.

Gale puts a hand on the small of my back and leads me out the door and onto the small deck on the backside of the house where we can talk in somewhat privacy. It's fairly chilly in the shade given the time of year but we stay on the deck rather than walk out into the sunlight, as if the bright light would mean it's no longer a private conversation. Not until the door is closed behind us and we can feel somewhat alone does he answer me.

"I… I was about to tell you that I've been busy" he says. "I don't know why."

"Well what is it then?" I ask. "Hazelle and the kids must be getting hungry. I didn't shoot anything today but I can bring you something from-"

"No" he says, holding up both hands to stop me. "No. Katniss I don't want your charity, even though you mean well."

"It's not charity" I object. "It's the deal we made. If you had won the Games you would have helped feed my family." He makes a face. "You did let me help feed them when I first got back."

"Yeah I know but…" He looks very uncomfortable, struggling to find his words. "Now it's not just you anymore, you know? Not just your money, your winnings. It's his as well. I can't take charity from him."

"Peeta?" I say with incredulity. "You think he helps out hunting? The best way he can help out is by staying far, far away from the woods. You saw the Games, the guy can't walk quietly when his life literally depends on it."

To my surprise Gale chuckles.

"True… What I meant is that I would feel wrong taking anything from your household with him."

"I don't want to talk about my household with him" I say grumpily, wrapping my arms around myself. "I came here to talk to you. You really should come back out to the woods, Gale. I'm nowhere near as good at hunting when you're not there."

He smiles at me, looking almost bashful. His hand finds the old wooden beam that helps support the rickety roof above us.

"Maybe I've been acting foolish" he says. "I just… thought it might be better to keep my distance. I didn't see all that much of you during the Games this year but what I did see was…" He trails off. "Never mind."

"No, what?"

"They seem awfully eager to hear you announce that you're going to have a baby."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" I groan. "Not you too, Gale!"

"Oh definitely not me" he says with a passion. "I dread the day you'll make that announcement."

I relax a little, feeling like I've finally found someone who shares my views on the subject. I know that Peeta and my family and Haymitch do but outside of that circle everyone seems to think we are obligated to produce children really soon. Gale understanding how I feel about it makes me very relieved.

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him again, feeling him embrace me in return. We stand like that for a long while, silently holding each other. At least in this moment I feel like I have somebody with me. Somebody who won't pull away like Peeta has been doing since the wedding.

We walk slowly into town, talking as we go. Gale seems a little bit more at ease now which makes me lighter at heart. When we reach the merchant district I follow him inside the seamstress' shop and help him find the best thread for Hazelle to use to mend Vick's clothes. He lets me pay for it, after I insist that he owes me that much for not allowing me to live up to my end of our bargain lately. By the time we leave the shop we're in quite good spirits and I find myself almost feeling good enough to smile. Before we step out on the streets again I take a glance at the clock inside the store, noting that I have about five minutes which makes the timing rather good.

"So" says Gale. "What do you say I walk with you back to the Village?"

"Oh" I say. "That's alright. I'm meeting up with Peeta in five minutes."

Gale's face visibly falls. He sticks his hands in his back pockets and looks away.

"You're telling me he's walking in to town just to walk you back?"

"What?" I almost chuckle at the idea. "No, he's been at the bakery. We're meeting up at noon."

"I see."

I don't understand why his mood suddenly turned so sour. Is the mere mentioning of my husband's name enough to make him grumpy? If so then it's going to be a long lifetime ahead. Some part of me foolishly believed, or at least fervently wanted to hope, that once Peeta and I were married things would go back to normal with Gale. I hate hurting him but he understands why the wedding took place. Now that I am married there can be no further choices to be made. I will be with Peeta and Gale and I will remain platonic friends. I've been quite relieved to have the decision taken out of my hands, to be honest. Now I see that it's not going to be all that easy.

"Gale…" I say. "What do you expect me to do? Avoid being seen with him in public? We pretty much need to do the opposite of that."

Gale's features soften as quickly as they turned sullen.

"Of course. You're right Katniss. I don't know what I was thinking." He smiles and gives my arm a light squeeze. "Go ahead. I'll see you later. Next Sunday, on our usual spot?"

"I look forward to it" I say.

He flashes me another smile and I give him a small wave as I walk towards the town square. It's only about fifty yards away and I can feel Gale's eyes on me as I walk. I wonder what his reaction just now was really all about. Then I decide to shrug it off. What does it matter? Nothing can change the way things will be from here on out. Peeta and I are married and Gale will forever be my best friend.

I've only just reached the square when I spot Peeta coming from the direction of the bakery. I smile slightly, not failing to notice the paper bag he's carrying in his left hand. I wonder what his father sent for us. Peeta does a lot of baking but his father has some specialties that Peeta hasn't mastered yet. I'm hoping for cream-filled donuts, which I've only ever had once and which they only make on special request.

"Hey you" says Peeta, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek in the interest of public displays of affection.

"Hey yourself" I say, taking his hand in mine. "Ready to head home?"

"Yeah. When we get home I've got some news."

"Good news?"

He grins widely.

"Really good news."

We begin to walk in the direction of the Victor's Village. I turn my head and spot Gale. He's on his way to the Hob, watching me as I leave. The look on his face is sullen again and it makes no sense to me. What on earth did I do this time?

"What's in the bag?" I ask Peeta, hoping to distract myself.

"Danishes" answers Peeta. "The kind with a dab of raspberry jam. We had some raspberry left over from the wedding and this morning we decided to put it to good use."

"Sounds lovely" I smile.

We walk home in comfortable silence, hand in hand even when we've walked far enough that no one in town can see us anymore. It's a lovely summer's day and I'm beginning to forget about Gale and his strange moods. Part of it is due to Peeta being in such high spirits. Maybe we can grab a blanket and go sit out on the lawn and have the pastries there together with some lemonade. I've always been a fan of eating outdoors, though Peeta doesn't like it nearly as much as I do.

Once we are home Peeta goes to the kitchen and sets out a large glass plate given to us as a wedding present – one of the ones we got to actually keep. Most of our gifts were kept in the Capitol, some even put in a museum. He puts the pastries on the plate and licks the tips of his fingers.

"Ryean and Maggie were there" he tells me.

"How are the newlyweds?" I ask, regurgitating the question we've been asked about a million times. I reach for a pastry but he gives me a light slap on the fingers.

"Patience" he says. "Let me get some ice-water first."

"Don't take all day about it."

He chuckles and walks over to the freezer to produce some ice from one of the fancy containers that came with the house. He puts ice-chips in a large pitcher while he talks and then fills it up with water.

"To answer your question, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark are doing quite excellent. In fact, they had some news to share."

"Oh?" I'm barely paying attention, trying to figure out if I can break off a small piece from a danish without Peeta noticing.

"Yup. Their first child is due to arrive in mid-March."

I look up, eyes wide with surprise. Peeta looks very pleased as he walks over with the pitcher and sets it down on the table. The pastries are momentarily forgotten on my part, this news coming like a shock to me even though it makes perfect sense. They got married in late April, it is now September. A baby on the way is the most natural thing.

"So you're going to be an uncle" I conclude.

"Indeed I am." His smile grows a bit wider. "It's going to be great. They're both very excited. Even Mother is in great spirits."

"She actually wants grandchildren?" I blurt out, causing Peeta's smile to briefly turn into a frown. Quickly I try to smooth things over. "I mean… Ryean and Maggie are both so young. That's all. My mother seems terrified of the idea of becoming a grandmother before I'm twenty-five."

"My mother has no such qualms" assures Peeta. He sets out two glasses and then takes a seat. "So we made the danishes kind of as a means of celebration. I promised Maggie I would make her a cake when the baby has been born. I know it's different in the Seam but in town the birth of your first child is one of the few occasions when people splurge and buy cake. I'm thinking I can use blueberries if it's a boy and raspberries if it's a girl."

That idea sounds incredibly tacky to my ears but knowing what little I know about Ryean's wife she will love it.

"Sure" I say, sitting down opposite Peeta. "Why not?" He pushes the plate towards me and I pick one of the pastries, smiling at his obvious excitement. I hold up the danish as if to give a toast. "Well, to Uncle Peeta, I guess!"

He grins a little wider. I can't imagine him as an uncle at this age but this is the first thing that has put a genuine smile on his face in months. I'll definitely take it.

September turns into October. Autumn comes on fast and it's not even November when the snow begins to fall. Every Sunday I go out into the woods and meet up with Gale. I make sure we head for the Hob around eleven and a little after twelve I part ways with my best friend and meet up with my husband to head back home again. With every week it seems Gale grows more frustrated and I don't understand why. We usually have a good time when we're out in the woods but he barely talks once we've reached town and barely even says goodbye to me when I go to meet up with Peeta.

Finally I decide to ask him about it. It's a cold but rather lovely morning with freshly fallen snow covering the ground. No game has passed us by and the sun has risen, making the ground glisten and sparkle. There's such beauty in this season. If it didn't bring starvation and freezing I would probably like winter the best.

In the quiet morning I ask Gale to talk to me and tell me what is bothering him. Whatever it is I would rather know so we can deal with it. It's enough that Peeta and I still haven't figured out how to behave around one another even after more than six months of awkward marriage. I can't have my relationship with Gale being as complicated.

"I'm trying to come to terms with it" says Gale, giving a ball of icy snow a kick with the toe of his boot. "I know you didn't choose it. That helps. At the same time it makes it worse, you know?"

No, I'm not sure that I do. He lost me somewhere around coming to terms with it. What does he have to come to terms with? Nothing has really changed since we returned from the Capitol, except my address – again.

"It's fine" I mutter, wishing we could spend this precious time in the woods talking about something else. I came out here to escape my caged life for a few hours, not to sit around and talk about it with Gale.

"It's not" says Gale. "Nothing about this is fine." He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his thick, dark hair, so similar in colour and texture to my own. "Isn't it ironic how everyone thinks winning the Games gives you freedom? You've had none of that since you came back to the district. You've even been forced to marry someone you didn't choose. Denied the chance to pick your own partner."

If I had the chance to choose I wouldn't have picked a partner at all. Gale ought to know this, I've talked to him about it in the past, but I don't bother to correct him. Perhaps if I let him rant for a while he can get whatever is bothering him off his chest and we can go hunting and things can be normal.

"All that matters is that my family is safe" I tell him.

He looks at me in a strange way. There is a kind of tenderness there that I'm not used to seeing. His fingers reach out and brush a strand of hair away from my face, gently tucking it behind my ear.

"I know. It's so you to think that way, putting your loved ones' safety above everything else" he says. "I should take a page from your book. I can't let myself think too much about the life we could have had if things had been different. If I do I will go crazy. As it is, just knowing that you love me is enough to carry me through."

Suddenly I feel uncomfortable. I wrap my arms around myself and shift my weight from one foot to the other. I don't recall ever telling Gale that I love him the way I suspect he means. I did once tell him that if things were different then maybe, possibly, but all I was trying to say was that I can't afford to even think about romantic love right now.

I feel like I should set him straight but I don't know how to go about it.

"You're my best friend" I tell him. "Of course I love you."

There's an awkward pause.

"Do you suppose…" He leans in and whispers in my ear, so close that his lips brush against me and his breath tickles me. "Can they be watching us right now? Listening to our conversation?"

"I don't think so" I answer.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine in a gesture that feels far too intimate. Strange, because it's never felt that way with Peeta.

"I'm not talking about your love for me as your best friend" he says softly, tenderly. "As long as I know I have your heart I can have that to hold on to and I can live on that knowledge."

I haven't got the first idea what to say to that. I don't know if Gale has my heart or not. I've never thought much about it. I can't pledge my heart to somebody. Besides, if anybody should have my heart now it's Peeta. My husband.

I take so long to reply that Gale moves away a bit and looks at me with an eyebrow slightly raised and his head tilted.

"Katniss? I do have your heart. Don't I?"

"What does it even matter?" I ask, hoping to distract him. "I am Peeta's now and Peeta is mine. That's the way it has to be. For all our sakes."

"It matters a great deal" says Gale. There's a trace of hurt in his tone that makes me feel guilty. "They can force you to marry him but they can't force you to love him. If it hadn't been for the Hunger Games you would have ended up with me, or at least I would have stood an honest chance. Is it so difficult for you to understand that knowing that you love me helps me? That it means they couldn't take everything from me?"

I frown and take a small step back. Who said I would have ended up with him if I hadn't been in the Games with Peeta? I wasn't planning on being with Gale when I went to the reaping for the 74th Games and I wasn't planning on it when we got back home either. Why is Gale talking as if I owe him something? And what did they ever really take from him? They've taken from me and from Peeta but Gale is barely a parenthesis to them.

"I thought I made it clear to you before the Reaping that I never intended to get married and have children" I say. "The only thing that's different now is that I had to marry Peeta to preserve the peace. If I could have chosen freely I would have stayed alone."

"Oh is that how it is?" Gale is angry now but I don't see why he has the right to be. "Katniss come on, do you really believe you bought peace by allowing that guy to put a ring on your finger? Just how important do you flatter yourself into thinking that you are? Snow is trying to punish and control you by arranging a marriage for you but that is all it is."

"You think I could have made a different choice?" I challenge.

"I think he probably would have had me or your family or maybe even Peeta's family killed if you'd refused. I just don't think Panem would have ended up in another war if you hadn't gotten married. Snow probably gets off on knowing he can control your life to such a degree that he makes you marry someone you don't want to be with."

"It wasn't Snow who suggested that we get married" I snarl. "The suggestion came from me."

Gale looks at me with disbelief, though I'm sure I've told him this at some point in the past.

"Katniss…" Then he snorts and shakes his head. "Maybe I'm just a blind idiot. Maybe I'm wrong in thinking you don't want to be married to Peeta. If you suggested it… Maybe you even like being his mattress every night."

I slap him. Hard. A fiery red mark spreads across his cheek but the look on his face remains icy cold.

"Don't you ever speak of Peeta that way" I growl. "I suggested marriage because every year when the Games and the Tour roll around we're going to have to pretend to be in love and be happy. It would seem strange if the star-crossed lovers never took that step. Why postpone the inevitable when we can take initiative? That doesn't mean Peeta necessarily has my heart but it most certainly doesn't mean that you do either." I pick up my game bag and toss it over my shoulder. "Excuse me but I'm not going to go hunting today after all. There's enough meat in our freezer to carry us through the next month." I walk past Gale, giving his shoulder a very ungentle nudge on the way, and head for the path that leads home. Just before I step into the woods again I turn around and glare at him. "For the record Peeta hasn't touched me. I offered my body to him and he declined."

I don't wait around for Gale's reaction to that piece of information. I make my way through the woods, my anger building with each step I take. Why does it have to be this way? Why does Gale have to have these feelings for me? I never asked for them, or expected them. We were best friends and hunting partners and I thought that was one of the few certainties in my life but now it seems I've lost that too. The way Gale spoke to me out there in the glade made me feel caged and he has always been my ticket to feeling free. In this moment I hate him a little bit for making me feel that way.

When I reach the Victors' Village Buttercup is flung up on the socle of a statue. He hisses at me as I pass him by and in my angered state I hiss right back at him. Stupid cat. His life is as convenient as any cat could want. What does he have to be hissing about?

I almost end up going to the wrong house, stopping myself right at the foot of the three steps that lead up to the front door of the house where my mother and sister live. The feeling of being trapped returns as I turn around and head for the house where I now live with Peeta. All I want is to take a hot bath and try to forget, if only for a moment, about the troubles in my life.

When I walk inside the house I at first think I'm alone. Peeta is probably in town, which is just as well because I don't want anybody's company right now. Peeta is probably the last person to blame for the fact that we've been forced together but all the same he is the constant reminder and right now a person I don't wish to see.

I walk through the kitchen and into the living room to grab a book to read in the bathtub. I'm still pretty much seething with anger and an hour soaking in hot water ought to do me good. Perhaps there are even some pastries in the freezer that I can take out and defrost. That might make me feel better.

"Home so soon?"

His voice scares me and I practically jump three feet in the air. When I turn around I see him sitting in an armchair with a book open on his lap, looking at me with a small smile. So he's home after all.

"Don't you ever leave the house?" I snarl irrationally. "It drives me crazy that you're always here!"

Peeta gives me a look. Slowly he sets his book down and then he gets up and walks out of the room. I try to hold back a sigh. Perfect. Now I've been rude and unfriendly to him, when it's Gale I'm mad at.

I decide to skip the bath. I go outside and sit down on the steps of the back porch, my elbow resting on my knee and my chin in the palm of my hand. I should go apologize to Peeta but it's probably best if I wait a while. I still need to cool off and maybe he needs a moment away from me right now as well.

I sit out there for about half an hour, just looking straight ahead, trying to wrap my mind around everything that's happened over the last year. Fifteen months ago I was one of those people who thought that winning the Games meant a life of freedom and no more hunger. Now I know I would much rather be back in the Seam with things being the way they were, even though I never have to go to bed hungry nowadays. I never wanted to be a tribute in the first place but still in the back of my mind I somehow believed that if I beat the odds and won things would change for the better.

I think of Gale and how different everything is now. Is he right? Would I have ended up marrying him if I hadn't gone to the Games? I can't imagine that I would have. Still, it does make logical sense that if I were to marry someone at all it would be the guy who's been my closest companion for five years. Actually, four years. Since I first left the district my closest companion has been Peeta, for good and for bad.

Gale seems to take for granted that I have romantic feelings for him. When we got word that we would be leaving to get married several months ahead of schedule I took a long walk in the woods with Gale and in a way we said our goodbyes. Before we parted I gave him a peck on the lips, a farewell of sorts. I knew that from the moment I was married I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with Gale anymore. Official cousin or no, I can't be seen spending more time in public with him than with my husband.

Apparently he didn't see that kiss the way I meant for him to see it. To him it must have been an admission of feelings that I'm not sure I possess. I deeply regret that kiss now because it complicated things rather than brought about closure. I don't want Gale to go around thinking that perhaps he and I can be together someday. Somewhere down the line, when new fads have come about and the star-crossed lovers aren't so interesting anymore, it might be possible for Peeta and me to claim our young love has burned out and that we will divorce each other, still being the closest of friends of course but not a married couple anymore. At least that could be a possibility if we don't end up having children. Gale must have had that same thought as well but he can't hold out for that to happen. He needs to have a life for himself and not be lonely year in and year out, waiting for something that probably won't even happen. If it does happen I want to be alone. I don't want to leave the expectations of a happily ever after with Peeta behind me just to walk into Gale's expectation of a future for us together.

If I hadn't ended up in the Games with Peeta then perhaps I would have ended up with Gale. I strongly doubt it myself, since I would have chosen not to marry at all, but if I had had to marry then it would have probably been with him. What I can say for sure is that I would not have loved him the way my mother loved my father. That's just not the kind of thing that exists between us, or at least I didn't think so.

Sitting out there on the porch I think about my options and how life is going to be in the future. I think of Gale and I think of the way I treated Peeta when I got back home. If I can't have them both in my life then it's going to be Peeta over Gale. I know I could maintain a public façade of a happy marriage to Peeta yet secretly put my friendship with Gale first but that's not what I want. I want a happy home at the end of the day. I want Peeta to hold me at night. I want to sit with him at the breakfast table and eat his cheese buns. I want to be there for him and for him to be there for me, like those days in the arena and those nights on the train. I want to make it clear to him that I value the gift he gave me when he agreed to the suggestion that we should marry. I want him to know how much he matters. I want to show him the respect and courtesy that he deserves.

I rise to my feet. The choice has been made. Deep down I know it was already made a long time ago. I want Gale to be my friend, to be part of my family, but if a choice has to be made then I will focus on building the best possible relationship with Peeta.

Once I'm back inside the house I go looking for him. I eventually find him upstairs in the guest bedroom he's turned into a drawing room. With the money he won in the Games he's bought easels, expensive paint, canvases and a large assortment of painting utensils that are utterly meaningless to me. He's sitting on a stool in front of an easel, sketching an outline for something he's planning on painting. His brow is furrowed and he's deep in concentration. He doesn't look up until I say his name.

"I'm not going to avoid my own home, you know" he says, giving me only a fleeting glance. "There's plenty of space in this house anyway, if you need it."

"I'm sorry" I say. I take a few tentative steps inside the room. "Can I… Is it okay for me to be in here?"

"Well that's kind of the point." He sets the pencil down and looks at me. "We both live here now. It's okay for you to be anywhere you like in this house."

"I meant… Would you rather I leave?" He doesn't answer. I walk over and grab a stool, pull it up next to him and sit down. "What are you working on?"

"Nothing" he mutters, again focusing his eyes on the canvas in front of him. "We have this tree in our back yard. Well, my folks have this tree in their back yard. I'm trying to remember what it looks like in a summer rain. Painting things in rain is a lot harder than painting them in sunshine." He shrugs. "At least I think so."

"I'm sorry about before. It was rude of me. Unnecessary."

He picks up the pencil and draws a few more lines. He then sets the pencil back down and his frown deepens.

"You'd do well to remember, Mrs. Mellark, that the fact that I like you a hell of a lot more than you like me doesn't give you the right to treat me however you want" he says. He gives me a pointed look. "It's going to be a very long life if you can't behave like a decent human being."

Hearing him put it so bluntly hurts, especially because I know that it's true what he says. I'm probably the kind of person who just might take advantage of knowing that he cares more about me than vice versa. At the same time I want to protest. I definitely don't believe I am the only one to blame for our relationship being less than stellar. I don't know what I feel for Peeta but it's most certainly not indifference. I want to be closer to him, not further apart. He's right about something else though – we're going to have a very long life ahead of us if we can't get along.

"I'm sorry" I tell him again. "I shouldn't have spoken to you that way."

"Maybe it's just as well that you do" he says, relenting but not looking pleased. "In a way it might be easier if you don't hide your true feelings from me. I want you to feel like you can be yourself."

"I didn't mean what I said" I assure him. "I'm glad you're here. I like your company." Perhaps I should leave it at that and not explain to him what happened earlier in the day to put me in such a sour mood but if we're going to have a life together then being open and honest is essential. "I had just gotten back from the woods."

"I know."

"I was with Gale."

"I figured."

"He…" For another second I hesitate. Can I betray Gale by telling Peeta all of this? If I have to choose who to be loyal to it ought to be Peeta. I already made that choice. "He wanted me to… to tell him, to promise him that… that he has my heart." I look away for a moment, finding it easier not to meet Peeta's eyes right now. "When I couldn't promise him that he got upset. It wasn't your fault. I was just so frustrated when I got back home. I'm tired of everyone telling me how I'm supposed to feel. I'm tired of people just assuming that they know my heart and mind better than I do and demand that I fall in line."

I meet his eyes and find that he looks friendly but very serious.

"Katniss none of that has ever come from me."

I open my mouth to protest but I stop myself, realizing that he's right. The whole country assumes that I love Peeta and expects me to want him but Peeta himself only acted that way in the arena, when I gave him ample reason to. Once he found out how things really were he was hurt and stayed away from me but not once did he act like he felt he deserved my love and affection. He went as far as marrying me without expecting for a second that I should love him back. Where Gale seems to feel I owe him my love Peeta has stated several times that he would prefer it if I didn't have to pretend and that when we're in private I don't have to behave like I care about him in ways that I don't.

"You're right" I say. "You're right. All the more reason why I'm sorry I took it out on you. It wasn't fair."

"No. It wasn't."

"Can you forgive me?"

There's a slight pause.

"If you promise that the next time you return home from the woods you'll have some actual game with you."

I can't stop myself from laughing a little and the tension is broken. Peeta smiles half-heartedly and I know that his feelings are still hurt but that he won't press the issue. I'm almost positive he's not hurt because of what happened today but because I can't love him back. He's never going to press me on that issue. Strangely enough the boy I've been forced to marry might be the only person who'll never demand that I care about him more than I do.

The part where Katniss gave Gale a kiss before leaving the district to get married is, as you might have guessed, a nod to the scene in the "Catching Fire" movie (you know the one). Personally I thought the scene in the movie was incredibly stupid but I borrowed the scenario nonetheless to give my take on what I choose to believe that scene was about.