I am so sorry it's been so long since I was able to update. I took a fall and tore my knee and it's been a crazy few weeks, but I think I'm back on track now and will be updating regularly. As always, please let me know you're reading
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Chapter Thirty-Four:
Patrick arrived home with renewed purpose. His talk with Sabrina had opened his eyes to a few truths.
He had made some terrible decisions and although he and Robin had both talked out a lot of their issues, he had something important he wanted to bring up to her.
He walked into the house and was happy to know that Mac was picking Emma up from school for a sleepover. He needed to talk to Robin. Making his way into the family room, he saw nobody was there.
"Robin?" he called out as he walked into the kitchen. He froze when he saw broken glass on the floor. He raced to the door wall and saw it was broken open and his heart raced out of his chest.
"Robin!" he screamed and ran into the backyard.
"Oh God," his breath came faster as he looked all over for her. He went back into the house and ran to the bedroom, seeing the room turned upside down. His whole body shook as he went to Emma's room and saw it looked untouched. He went to the guest room where Robin was staying and saw nothing.
"Think. Think," Patrick said and went to call for help when he turned to the closet door. Something made him go to it and with a shaking hand he opened the door.
Robin sat huddled on the floor in the corner of the closet in the dark and she had her arms around her knees. Her head was down and she was rocking back and forth.
"Robin?" he knelt down and reached to her and she jumped back, smacking her head against the wall.
"Okay, it's okay," he said softly as his voice caught in his throat. "Please trust me."
She was breathing in short pants and he could tell she was in shock. He needed to bring her out of this, but he was afraid of what she was reliving. He didn't want to make it worse.
"Robin? You're safe and you're home. There is nobody here but me, Patrick. I need for you to look at me and trust me. I know I left you before, but never again. I need you to believe in me now. I need for you to trust in my love for you and to trust that somewhere, deep within you, you remember that I love you and I will protect you," he spoke as his tears fell and he ached to pull her into his arms and hold her until she felt what was in his heart.
"I looked through the house and nobody is here. We are alone and safe, okay?" He moved a little closer to her and she didn't move.
"Do you remember when I cut myself in the O.R. while operating on April?" he sat down and stretched his legs out. "I was a mess of these things I didn't understand," he smiled at her. "I think you called them emotions."
He chuckled and continued.
"But something really profound happened after that moment and I don't know that I ever really put into words what it did for me. Through all of the fear and the threat of what might be, you never left my side. I mean, you gave me the space I needed, but you were there, through it all, and you made me feel safe."
He saw she lifted her head a little, but she still wasn't looking at him.
"I kept looking at my life as this plan that was all set out. I was a surgeon and I was the best. Suddenly, that plan was in jeopardy. I was panicking and you did something so amazing. Do you remember that?"
She didn't say anything and he continued.
"You took me to the pier and you showed me the water and you told me to try and gain perspective," he looked at her and smiled. "I wasn't all that receptive."
Robin listened to him and he shrugged.
"I don't think you can ever know how much it meant to me to have you there and to know that you believed in me. You were so sure of what to do and how to get through it and even though I knew you were scared, you never wavered in your support of me. I just knew I was going to be okay because you were there."
"You told me your social calendar just opened up and it was probably my dream to have you all to myself," she said softly.
He smiled and nodded.
"And you told me you would give anything for this not to have happened to me," he said and his emotions came pouring out. "Robin, I would give anything if this didn't happen to you. I just want to give you perspective. I just want to make you feel safe. I just want," he stopped and sighed.
"I'm so sorry. It's like I learned nothing."
"What do you mean?" she asked softly.
"None of this is about me. I want so badly to fix what is hurting you and I just don't think I can. I don't know how to ever be someone you can trust again."
"I would like to go to a hotel."
That surprised him.
"Right now? Why? What do you mean?"
She moved to crawl out of the closet and she went to sit on the bed, Patrick following her.
"I can't stay here. I'm not safe and neither are you or Emma," she wiped her eyes and sighed. "I don't belong here, Patrick. I went to make cookies in the kitchen and I stopped because I thought I should ask you if it was okay. It's not my kitchen and this isn't my house. I couldn't even walk into the master bedroom and everywhere I look, I see other women."
He let her talk even though it killed him.
"I am surrounded by everything I did wrong. I see myself walking out the front door and knowing I was going against everything you wanted. I need to stop looking at my life as a mess. I need to be in a place where I can gain perspective and figure out what's wrong with me."
He nodded and looked at her.
"I'd like to go with you. I know it's not what you might want, but I don't think you should be alone. I just want you to be safe."
"I was in the family room when someone broke in," she said. "I was far away from my phone and I heard the crash of glass. I ran to the bedroom and I don't remember anything until you found me."
"I'm so sorry," he said. "I'll call Anna and have her investigate."
Robin nodded.
"She came over earlier and we had a nice talk."
"Good. She misses you so much," he got up and wiped his face.
"I don't want to go to the Metro Court. I want to go somewhere nobody will know me."
"Will you let me take you somewhere?"
She looked at him and rubbed her arms.
"Okay."
He didn't know how a simple word could mean so much to him.
"Great. Let me pack a bag and we can go. I'll tell Mac where we are in case Emma needs anything."
She looked at him and walked closer.
"You're wrong about something."
He looked into her eyes and smiled.
"What's that?"
"You keep saying that you wish you could help me feel safe. You need to know that you do. I never feel safer than when I am with you. My issues with our relationship have nothing to do with you protecting me or making me feel safe. You do both of those things more than anyone."
"Robin," he began but she stopped him.
"But this is about so much more than my safety. This is about our life and the mistakes we have both made. I just don't know that there is any hope for us."
"There is," he said simply. "Pack a bag and we should go."
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Patrick pulled into the fancy hotel a little outside of town and parked. Robin had been silent all the way over and he knew she was living in her own hell. He knew she was lost in fear and anger and he hated that he couldn't help her.
He also vowed that tonight, he would.
He checked them in and they made their way to the 11th floor and to the room. Patrick closed and locked the door and turned to see Robin put her bag on the bed before she walked to look out the large window.
"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I could order room service."
"Sure," she said without turning around. "Whatever you want."
He sighed and grabbed the menu, looking for what she might like.
Did she still like the same foods?
Of course she did. Being kidnapped doesn't change your taste buds.
He chuckled to himself and she turned to him.
"What's funny?" she smiled.
"I was just wondering if your tastes have changed, but then I realized that probably wasn't something that would happen."
She rubbed her arms and nodded.
"Can you order me a beer?"
A smile covered his features as he nodded.
"Always."
"I'm going to take a shower before the food comes," she said and grabbed her bag. "Is that okay?"
"Of course," he said and she nodded before walking into the bathroom.
Patrick called and ordered some food before he sat on he bed and wondered what the hell he was doing.
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The hot water ran over Robin's body and she let her tears fall. So many thoughts and emotions were racing through her mind and she was scared of what being here with Patrick would do to her resolve.
The problem was he was breaking her walls. The more he stayed and card for her, the more she wanted him. Her life was a mess and she didn't know what the next day would bring, but for the past nine years, her solid rock had been Patrick. She didn't really remember how she got along without him and for her, that said something.
Robin Scorpio was nothing if not independent. Hell, she left her home and family for Paris and never looked back.
But her life now was so different.
She had been alone for so long; isolated and confined and she didn't want that any more. She ached to be close to someone again. She ached to have her husband hold her.
She turned off the water and wrapped the small white towel around her body before taking another to dry her hair.
She wanted Patrick, but she truly didn't believe he wanted her. She felt like a second or maybe third choice and that wasn't okay.
"Robin? The food is here," his voice broke through her thoughts.
"Okay. I'll be right out," she said and opened her bag, pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top. She towel dried her hair and pulled it up in a twist before she cleaned up and walked out.
"I wasn't sure exactly what to get," he said and stopped when he looked at her. She was absolutely beautiful and he was momentarily speechless.
"I'm sure it's perfect," she said and took a beer, opening it and taking a long drink.
He grinned as she drank and she wiped her mouth.
"What?"
He shrugged.
"Nothing. I'm going to change real quick and I'll be right out. Feel free to start eating."
She nodded and he went into the bathroom with his own bag.
Robin took a bite of cheese and sat on the chair in the room. She looked up when he walked out wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt.
Her resolve to stay away began to fade as she took another long drink of her beer.
This was going to be an interesting evening.