Nothing could prepare Bill for the Pyramid Stage.

There's people as far as she can see, and the noise is truly deafening. It's exhilarating and terrifying all at once; Bill feels as though she is on a greater high than anything brought on by alcohol or weed.

"Hello Glastonbury!" Theo says into the microphone, and gets cheers in response. "Is everybody having a good night?"

"I'm so thrilled to be here, you have no idea," Bill adds.

"I'm contractually obliged to be here," Missy drawls, and a wave of laughter goes through the crowd.

Bill wants to look for Star Girl, but doesn't even know where to begin. There's so many faces that it's just a vast ocean almost completely devoid of detail.

They begin their set, and it's wonderful once Bill just admits defeat and accepts she won't find Star Girl in the crowd even if she is actually here (which is a substantial 'if' given that Bill still isn't convinced that she actually did see her at their other performance anyway).

It's phenomenal. It's like being on top of the world. Bill has never felt more powerful than in these moments, with the crowds enraptured by their performance and screaming for her.

There's one point where she stops, where she gets a glimpse of dark blonde hair in the front row and can't help but stare, but a moment later it's gone. While in her mind, it had been Star Girl, she just doesn't trust herself anymore. She knows her imagination is too fanciful.

River joins them for Hell In High Heels. The crowd goes even more mental and it makes for an incredible finale.

They finally depart the stage out of breath, hearts elated and minds swimming with endorphins. They're all hugging and laughing and Bill is once again so glad she decided to go to that open mic night where she'd met Theo, even though she'd been tired and almost not gone. She'd not had an issue with being a nobody, but more important than the fame is her friends, the friends she'd have never had otherwise. She'd had friends before, and still talks to them, but not friends like this.

"I love you guys so much," Bill tells them, wiping at her eyes.

Theo just smiles, and Bill can read his silent mirroring of her words and hugs him tighter.

"Love you too," Nardole says, cuddling into her side.

Missy kisses her cheek. "Love you too, Pottsie."

Clara and Ashildr approach them, and Clara is beaming while Ashildr is actually smiling with teeth, which is a real rarity.

"You were brilliant," Clara says seriously, looking at Theo with a special shining pride but then looking at them all in turn. "That was amazing, honestly."

"It was very good," Ashildr adds, nodding.

"Amazing," River agrees.

There's a brief pause, the only sound slightly laboured breathing.

"So, drinks?" Missy asks.

No one argues with that.

Bill wakes up to the sound of Missy shouting in Russian, a text from Nardole continuing a passionate debate about breakfast food they had gotten into the previous night while intoxicated, and some alerts from Twitter about one of their online fans posting an apparently awesome ukulele cover of one of their songs. Bill, deciding she doesn't yet have the energy to deal with the first two things, checks out the video of the cover. It's awesome and totally brightens her morning.

Bill has just crept into the kitchen to make tea and got the kettle boiling when Theo and Missy emerge from the former's room, both completely dressed and hands locked together. Missy is giggling girlishly at something he is saying, and he's smiling at her indulgently as she leans into him.

"Morning," Bill says, eyebrow up, lips quirking because it's just nice to see them happy, after everything, but her eyebrow doing something similar because it's definitely not what she had prepared herself for. "What was all that noise like half an hour ago? Sounded like you wanted to murder someone."

Missy makes a face. "Oh, that. Nothing for you to worry about, I just need to have some strong words with someone. Affectionately."

Theo snorts, his eyes warm but exasperated as he looks at her.

"Anyway, morning to you too, Pottsie, didn't think anyone would be up," Missy remarks, "how are you? Hungover?"

"Not really," Bill says with a shrug. "Where are you two off to?"

"A place, with people," Missy says, lips curling in a deliberately teasing smirk.

Bill lifts her eyebrows. "Wow. One of those," she says sarcastically. "That sounds wild. Guess I can't come, then, if you won't tell me where you're going."

"Sorry, Pottsie, not today."

"It's fine. I'll hang with River. If she's still here."

"I'm here," River says, coming out of the bedroom, sunglasses over her eyes and hair a bit more of a mess than usual. "Oh god. Urgh." She leans on the doorframe and groans. "Remind me, Bill, to never let Missy dare me to do a dozen shots again."

"But it was really funny," Missy says emphatically, with a giggle which is more of an evil cackle coming from her.

"The worst part about you being an addict is not being able to challenge you to a drinking competition," River mutters.

"Moderation is my best friend, unfortunately, I'm as disappointed as you," Missy replies with a roll of her eyes. "Just not worth the risk, I'm afraid, even with things that aren't cocaine."

"So you and me then, River?" Bill asks. "Want to watch a movie, or-"

"Sorry, darling, I'm going with them," River says, sounding generally apologetic. "And then I need to head home." Her hands go to her jacket, as if checking something is there, and she relaxes when she apparently finds whatever she was looking for. "Alright, I'm sorted, are we going?"

"Yes, we are,"Missy says impatiently, "waiting on you, Song."

"Since when do you, or any of you, actually, care about being punctual? At nine in the morning?" Bill asks, arching an eyebrow.

"Since I do," Missy replies. "Catch you later, Pottsie. We'll be back in the evening. Probably late."

With that, they leave, a weird cheerful comradery shared between the three of them in a way Bill can't really remember seeing before. They're not exactly usually a trio of any kind, what with how Missy and River butt heads so much. Well, maybe in a sexual way on occasion, but that's about it.

"Cool, see ya, then," Bill murmurs under her breath once they're gone, having stupid and uncomfortable flashbacks to being in school and watching the other girls planning sleepovers that she isn't invited to right in front of her. She pushes the thought away with a sigh and a sip of tea, because she knows it's silly, because these people adore her.

But the fact that after everything, there's still things they're not telling her and the others… it stings just a bit.

She knocks on Nardole's door, and after getting invited in, falls into his bed.

"Want to go back to arguing about pancakes vs waffles?" Bill asks him. "That was weirdly fun."

Nardole shrugs and is quick to oblige her. It somehow turns into a pillow fight. Bill wins.

After a day of movie marathoning with Nardole, since Clashildr are apparently out on a date, Bill pokes her head out of her room when she hears Missy and Theo return in the late evening.

Missy is clearly rather tipsy, singing an energetic version of My Bonnie while Theo sings a little harmony, and he's twirling her around the tiny living space with an indulgent, warm smile with such a twinkle that suggests he's had a fair bit of alcohol too.

"Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my bonnie to me, to me," Missy sings, like she's a performer on West End and Theo is playing her love interest, and slowing it down gradually. He twirls her again, and she spins into him. "Bring back, bring back my bonnie... to me."

By the time she finishes the line, it's almost a whisper, and she's ended up against Theo's chest, staring up at him with wide, shining eyes.

There's something very intimate about it, about their shared gaze in the dim light coming only from the moon outside and a small light at the end of the bus. Bill feels wrong, watching it, but can't look away either.

"We are doing the right thing, aren't we?" Missy asks, voice soft. "It doesn't feel like it, anymore."

Theo looks at her with uncertain, pained eyes. "Koschei, there's something I need to-"

"Oh, but whenever I think about the alternative, I just want to be sick," Missy continues, clearly not really hearing him and just pressing her head into his shirt. "It's not fair that he still gets to do this."

"... we'll work something out," Theo tells her, arms winding around her tightly. "Because we can't keep it up. She's right. River's right. It isn't fair, and it isn't plausible."

"But what can we do?"

"I don't know," he murmurs, a rare hopelessness in his eyes, that Bill is glad that Missy can't see, because it makes her stomach turn. "I don't know."

Bill doesn't know either, doesn't even know what they don't know, but she closes the door as quietly as she can and finds it harder to sleep than she would like.

The next day, they're going to be on Heart To Hart, a late night show popular mainly due to its outlandish host, a charismatic asshole called John Hart who will flirt with anything that moves.

Well, most people call him John Hart, or just Hart. Jack calls him 'my most annoying boyfriend'.

They're filming in the afternoon, and planning to go for drinks with Jack's team later and hopefully be joined by Hart himself once he's wrapped up final checks with the show before its broadcast in the evening.

"God, you're an attractive bunch of people," is the first thing Hart says once they're on a couch in front of him and the cameras are rolling. "This is ridiculous. How do the people who work with you cope? I know your head of security, how does he handle it?"

"Copious amounts of flirting, mostly," Nardole answers.

Hart grins. "Sounds about right." He rubs his hands together. "Now. How was Glastonbury? People can't stop raving about your performance."

"That night was… so amazing," Bill says honestly. "I could never in a million years dreamed I'd end up doing anything like that."

"You know what I love about you, Princess?" Hart asks.

"Don't call me Princess," she tells him, making a face.

"Yes ma'am," he replies without missing a beat, grinning. "You know what I love about you, Bill?"

"What?"

"That you're so obviously the girl next door. You're not someone who spent five years being groomed by an industry before you hit it big. You didn't seek it out, you were found by someone who already had a foot in the door."

Bill frowns at him. "Your point?"

"My point is, sweetheart, that you're real, you're the realest thing in your whole industry," Hart says intently. "You're a breath of fresh air, love."

"Well, thanks," Bill says, "but for the record, sweetheart and love are also off the table."

"You're no fun."

"Oh yes, how unreasonable for the lesbian to not want a man she's just met to be so familiar with her," Theo drawls. "Let's move on, shall we? I like you, Hart, but Missy will hit you, and I'll be inclined to not stop her."

Hart grins at him. "You say that as though I wouldn't be delighted to have her punch me in the face." He looks at Missy, an appreciative glint in his eyes. "You're gorgeous and terrifying. Seriously. Just go for it."

Missy frowns at him. "You look like you'd enjoy it too much."

"Well, offer remains on the table," Hart says, with a shrug, before he moves on. "So, what's next? Back to America for the rest of your tour? And the VMAs in August?"

"That's the plan, yeah," Theo replies.

"When do you leave?"

"A couple of days. Got a fair bit to prepare, and it isn't easy being away from friends and family for so long, so we need the time to make some house calls."

"Of course."

"And give time to let the country prepare to mourn our absence again, of course," Missy says with a smirk. "It's felt all around, surely."

"Possibly just the peace and quiet, for once," Bill replies, "since the Scottish drama queen is over the ocean."

"Me? A drama queen?" Missy asks, fluttering her eyelashes and putting a hand to her chest. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Nardole snorts. "You're not just a drama queen, babe, the dictionary definition probably just consists of a picture of you. Or has a clip of your sex noises, for academic references."

Theo facepalms, flushing, while Missy laughs loudly at his audacity and Hart cackles, slapping his knee.

Bill snorts. "He's got a point, they are pretty ridiculous."

"You never sounded like you minded too much - ow!" Nardole's muttering turns into a yelp of pain as Missy's laughter fades in her throat and she kicks him in the shin with the back of her high heel.

They all stare at him as his slip up dawns on his face, and Bill's heart beats a little harder in her chest.

Had that been loud enough for the camera to pick up on? Hart had clearly heard, based on how he is now looking at Bill with delighted incredulity.

Bill feels warmth in her cheeks. "I mean it isn't my favourite background noise but she can do what she likes," Bill says, technically not lying, but she's worried the panic might show on her face. She meets Hart's eyes, and sees the lack of belief there, the amusement. It only makes it worse, knowing that this private thing has just been said and she can't make it better because she's no good at this.

He just lifts an eyebrow. "Background noise?"

"Well, obviously," Bill says, trying to scoff, but her face is so hot, too hot. "I haven't-" She makes some awkward, helpless hand gestures. "Missy and I aren't-"

Missy, whose face had been a blank mask until now, sighs and touches her shoulder, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Hush now, love. Don't make it worse. We can try to fix this later."

Bill sighs and bites her lip, choosing to sit tight and say nothing else.

"I think we're discussed my sex life more than enough now, don't you think?" Missy asks Hart, with a dangerous look in her eyes that has him swallowing and hurrying to the next question in the list he seems to have in his head.

It's almost funny to see Missy lay into Nardole once they're back at the house on Baker St, but it's not as satisfying as it could be, because the damage is done.

It only takes a matter of hours for #PotsyConfirmed to be trending on Twitter.

stirmypotsy - oh my god oh my god oh my god

yikes_lou - we have been blessed by the gay gods today it's official that Bill Potts has achieved actual god tier gay and had sex with Missy Masters

crystal_ss - Bill. and Missy. this is too much ashjdkkg

doctahpants - I have to say, this really isn't what I expected to be the case out of all the possibilities but also I love it?

rainbowrosie - wait so was Bill's song about Missy all along? Or did her and Missy like… become a thing when that didn't work out?

girldressedinblack (replying to rainbowrosie) - I don't know but while I live for the drama I feel like we should try to respect their privacy? Bill seemed pretty embarrassed, like she didn't want people to know

queenbaloo (replying to girldressedinblack) - I mean maybe it was just sex and that's why?

crystal_ss (replying to queenbaloo) - that could make sense but I'm not going to speculate, it's not our business

spaceacepupper (replying to crystal_ss) - agreed, no matter how intriguing this all is

"I don't know whether to be relieved that out of everything, the relationship they now think is real happens to be one of the only ones that isn't, or whether to be furious on your behalf."

Bill glances at Missy, who is sitting in the lounge window seat with tea in her hands, eyes watching a butterfly in the garden that blocks the street from the windows.

"Furious? It's not that bad, is it?" Bill asks. "I'm thinking I just tweet that you and I aren't a couple, and leave it at that. Neither confirm or deny the sex thing but deny a relationship, at least."

"You can if you like, but at this point I doubt they'd believe you," Missy replies. She sighs, with a funny sort of fondness in her eyes. "I've always loved what a terrible poker face you have, you know. Might have helped you last night, though."

"It's not the biggest disaster even if they don't believe me," Bill says, shrugging.

"But your girl," Missy says, frowning at her like she's missing the obvious, "we can't have her thinking you're dating me, she'll have a monogamy related assumption in there which means she'll be discouraged, partially if not entirely."

Bill snorts. "My girl? Let's face it, I'm kidding myself. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I never even saw her at Glastonbury. It was my own stupid wishful thinking. Like, god, I've had so many fucking dreams about her turning up in one of our audiences that honestly, it's all a blur. I think about when I thought I saw her at Glastonbury and I can't tell it apart from any of those dreams."

She stops, surprised at herself, and feels hollow in her chest. She doesn't know when she'd given up, but she had.

Bill is used to having to just accept her lot in life, whatever it might be. She'll try and make the best of it, always, but she's not one to argue with the universe, generally.

Missy looks at her with a pained expression. "Don't say that. You don't get to give up. Not you."

"Why not?" Bill asks, laughing a little, almost hysterically, and without humour. "It's true. Thinking I could fall for some girl in a crowd and have it work out? What did we think this is? That stuff doesn't actually happen, because it's insane. It's impossible. So why shouldn't I accept that I've been beyond deluded about this?"

"Firstly, because I won't stand for you talking down to yourself like that," Missy says firmly. "And secondly-" She falters, and she takes a sip of her tea, her hand not quite steady. She bites her lip. "God, I just needed something to hope for. Something impossible and wonderful. Something that could make me see the world like you and Thete see it."

Bill feels like an idiot. Of course this is bigger than just her.

"Shit, I'm sorry," she says, "I never - I just really don't think she was ever there, after San Diego. I messed it up or she ran out of money, or whatever. That's it."

"Well, it is crap, and disappointing as all hell," Missy replies. "What kind of fucking love story is that?"

"A realistic one?"

"Well, it's pants."

Later in the day, to help take their mind off of the #PotsyConfirmed issue - the internet is beyond impossible at this point and is just a no go zone for a while - the band go out for drinks with Jack and the security team. Hart has apparently been held up and won't be able to join them tonight, which only Jack and Nardole seem in any way disappointed by, and in the case of the former, not much.

Bill always thinks it's a shame that she often doesn't see a lot the Torchwood Security team out and about, since Tosh especially does more work behind the scenes. They're her favourite group of raging bisexuals.

There's Ianto Jones, one of Jack's boyfriends (and possibly his… main one? Bill isn't sure of the details), an adorable Welshman who looks good in a suit and makes killer coffee. There's Gwen Cooper, a dark haired beauty and sweetheart and married mother of one who could probably kill a man. Owen Harper is your typical cynical white male who has been able to get along making jokes and being an asshole his whole life, because he's good at what he does, but some of his jokes are pretty funny when they're not cruel, so Bill will give him that. She isn't sure why she sort of likes him, but she does. And finally there's Toshiko Sato, the absolute cutest and sweetest computer nerd ever.

Tosh is so cute that it isn't fair. She always blushes a little under Bill's obvious attention and gives Bill a little smile. If they weren't both stupidly infatuated with other people, Bill might have asked her out by now.

It's a shame Tosh has such a thing for Owen, walking embodiment of the word 'tosser', really. At least Bill does get the impression he likes her back, even if he doesn't seem to have realised yet.

Still, Tosh is good for a good flirt, as is Gwen, and that's something.

"No, seriously we don't tell you lot 'bout half the weird things your fans try to pull," Gwen assures the band.

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Well, there's Theo's algae boyfriend," Ianto says, "he's rather sweet. He's started bringing me vegan cupcakes as an attempt at bribery. They're pretty good, actually."

"He's not my-" Theo goes pink. "He's sweet, really. He sends me a lot of letters. Actual, proper letters. He has atrocious handwriting but he puts little snacks in there too-"

"I know he's sweet, that's why I never let Owen kick his arse," Ianto replies.

"You're a slut for snacks, he's found the way to your heart," Missy says to Theo, patting his chest, and he rolls his eyes and has another sip of his scotch.

Missy is only drinking mocktails and water, since she has a policy about not letting herself partake in any alcohol or weed two days in a row, given her history. Bill has to admire how firmly she sticks to it.

"God, even just at Glastonbury the other day, I had some nutter of a girl try and tell me she had to talk to Bill, because she sort of knew her and needed to see her," Owen says, shaking his head, "seemed to think I should know who she was, that was the weirder bit. Kept pointing at her eye."

Everyone at the table goes dead silent as they all stare at Owen, who doesn't seem to find this odd, and actually just seems pleased to finally have all the attention.

"Which, granted, was a weird looking eye," he continues, shaking his head, "but I dunno why she thought that was a proper thing, I had to tell her to fuck off because it looked like she was going to start crying and I wasn't having that. Like, god, we have meet and greets for a reason."

The silence amongst the others persists once he stops talking, a couple of them glancing at each other to check that yes, they had indeed all heard the same thing.

"... please tell me you're joking," Ianto says flatly.

Owen frowns, finally getting a better feeling for the table's atmosphere, apparently, as he looks at them all. "No. Why, should I be?"

Bill feels like she can feel her pounding heart in her ears. "I - I can't-"

"Are you seriously telling me that the girl, the girl, a girl who was obviously the girl, actually tried to get to Bill and you turned her away?" Jack asks with disbelief.

"Oh," Owen says, blinking, and then getting a sheepish look on his face. "Oh yeah, there has been that whole thing about a girl, hasn't there? I don't know much about it-"

"How could you not, it's all we've been talking about! The girl with the star in her eye," Tosh says.

Owen groans. "Ah. Shit. Yeah, she did have a star in her eye, that was what was weird about it. That was a thing? I never… actually listened to the song." He looks at Bill. "Sorry, I'm a twat. And a bloody clueless one at that, apparently."

"No kidding," Tosh mutters.

Bill is shaking, but she doesn't know if she's upset or furious or just done with the universe playing cruel jokes on her. Star Girl had really been there. Bill hadn't imagined it, or confused it with a dream, she had really been there, if only fleetingly. Except… not fleetingly, because Star Girl tried to get to her.

Star Girl had tried to get to her, and was almost in tears, and got told to fuck off.

It's so horrible that Bill gets a bad taste in her mouth.

"You are so lucky I'm stuck on the other side of this booth and I can't kick your arse right now, oh my god," Bill tells Owen. Tears spring to her eyes and she wipes at them quickly, embarrassed.

"Shit, Bill, I'm sorry," Owen says to her, looking genuinely remorseful and like he wants to punch himself. "God, I'm such a twat."

"It's okay," Bill says weakly. "You didn't know."

"You should have known," Gwen tells him, whacking him on the arm. "For god's sake, Owen, there are enough lesbian tragedies around without you adding to the pile."

Bill and Tosh choke on their drinks and erupt into helpless laughter, and it makes Bill feel a lot better. Once they calm down, Tosh clasps Bill's hand and gives it a squeeze.

"I'm sure you'll find her eventually," Tosh tells her sincerely, with a little encouraging smile, "she's looking for you too. We know that now."

"Next meet and greet, surely," Owen chips in, clearly trying to compensate.

"We can only hope," Nardole says. "She's never come to one before."

"But we did cancel the only one we've had since when we now know she tried to get to Bill," Missy says, and looks like she feels a bit bad about it. "I'm sorry, Pottsie, that one was on us."

"No, it was on Saxon," Bill says darkly. "Don't even start. There wasn't even a choice."

Something else occurs to her.

"Oh god, Missy, but now you're right," Bill realises, with horror, and she groans and buries her face in her hands on the table because she's so tired of all this nonsense. "She's going to think that you and I - because of that interview-"

"Sorry," Nardole says quickly, wincing horribly, "I am also a twat. A stupid, careless-"

"That's not helping," Theo tells him, sighing. "It was an accident, Nardole. It happens."

"You call me stupid all the time-"

"That's just me being a twat-"

"Oh my god, so you're all twats, then, does it matter?" Gwen says loudly, earning some weird looks from the other booths that are thankfully too far away to see that theirs house a bunch of celebrities. "This isn't a fucking competition. It's a clusterfuck of mistakes, obviously, but putting the blame isn't helping anyone. Just move on and find a solution, yeah? Jesus fucking Christ."

She sits back in her seat, stares at them all with disbelief, and chugs half of her beer. Tosh looks at her with admiration and gives a little nod.

"What she said," she says cheerfully. "You'll manage to work it out, I'm sure."

" I hope so," Bill says. "God, I hope so."

It's hard to be hopeful, really, with how much of a rollercoaster she's been on in the last few days. But with Tosh squeezing her hand and looking at her with such belief, and the quiet determination in the eyes of her bandmates, she feels a spark.

Maybe a spark of hope is all it takes.

Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you thought!