Chapter 10

Vader returned to the ship late that night. He had spent a long time in the bacta tank in meditation, but was unsure how effective it had been. He reminded himself to be patient, that it would take a lot of hard work to heal his lungs. If it's even possible, the negative side kept telling himself. It was difficult for him to remain positive, given that he had been a Sith for the past two years of his life. Vader knew that he had made progress, his actions of late were proof of it. But he still had a long way to go.

Upon reaching his chamber, he was pleased to see that there was a message from Padmé. he opened it at once, the sight of her face lifting his mood immediately.

Hello Anakin. I'm sure Threepio told you already, but I just wanted to tell you that we're at my parents' home. We will probably be here for a few days at least, so please don't worry. Luke and Leia are having so much fun with Sola's girls, it's so cute to see them playing together. I left instructions for the workmen to continue their work, I hope that's okay. The sooner you are able to live with me and the children the better, at least that's how I feel. Please take care of yourself and continue your meditations. If Qui-Gon thinks they will help, then I think it's worthwhile to try. I'll see you in a few days.

Vader closed down the transmission, a little concerned that she didn't tell him that she loved him, or that she missed him. Have I blown it with her this time? he worried. Has she gone for good? He pushed the negative thoughts from his mind and settled into a restless sleep.

Padmé and her mother took Luke and Leia into Theed for lunch, and they were enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. It felt so good to Padmé to be outside, to be in public, without the shadow of fear hanging over her. It was clear that Luke and Leia felt the same way.

"So what are your plans for the future, Padmé?" Jobal asked. "Do you intend on staying in your cottage indefinitely? There's no need for hiding now, after all."

"I'm not sure, to be honest," Padmé said. "I love my home, I truly do. And Luke and Leia have never known another home. It's not far from here, actually. You and Dad could come and visit us any time you want."

"That's lovely, we will," Jobal said. "But that's not really what I'm asking you, and I think you know it. I'm talking about your husband, Padmé."

Padmé frowned, and looked away. "What about him?" she asked as she watched a couple at a nearby table. They were holding hands, clearly oblivious to everyone around them.

"I mean what are his intentions?" Jobal asked. "A man like him won't be content living in a lakeside cottage for the rest of his life," she said. "He's used to having power, to commanding the fleet. Do you know what his plans are? And do they include you and the twins?"

"Anakin has given up command of the fleet," Padmé told her mother. "He has handed over control of the Empire to the senate," she continued. "He wants to spend his life with us now, Mom, with his family. Does that answer your questions?"

Jobal nodded, but was quite dubious nonetheless. Men like Darth Vader didn't settle for family life, she reflected. Men like Darth Vader always wanted more.

"What do you say we go to the zoo?" Jobal asked Luke and Leia. "Would you like that?"

Both twins nodded enthusiastically.

Padmé could tell that her mother didn't buy her reply, but she didn't care. They don't know him like I do, she reasoned. They don't know that Anakin is starting to awaken within Darth Vader.

Luke and Leia were exhausted by the time they left the zoo, and had a nap as soon as they returned to their grandparents' house. It afforded Padmé the opportunity to go into the shops with her sister, something she had not been able to do for a very long time.

Sola had wanted to spend time alone with her sister ever since she'd returned into their lives. She knew Padmé very well, and was hopeful that she would be able to have a frank conversation with her about Vader.

"So things are good between you and Vader?" Sola asked as they browsed in their favourite boutique.

Padmé nodded. "I don't call him that," she said. "I use his real name."

"You mean Anakin," Sola said.

"Yes," Padmé replied. "To me he's Anakin, no matter what he looks like on the outside."

Sola frowned. "But is he Anakin?" she asked. "Really?"

Padmé looked at her sister. "What are you hoping I'll say, Sola?" she asked.

"I just want the truth," Sola replied. "I know you're covering for Mom and Dad," she said. "But this is me, you can tell me the truth."

Padmé frowned. "What makes you think that I'm not?" she asked.

"Because I know you," Sola said. "And because no matter what you say, it can't be easy being married to the most notorious man in the galaxy."

Padmé looked away, her sister's words hitting a little too close to home. "It isn't," she said quietly. "I know he loves me, he loves our children but..."

"But he's terrifying?" Sola said.

"Not to me he isn't, no," Padmé said. "He still has a great deal of darkness in him, though, and that makes him very ...unpredictable."

Sola frowned. "Unpredictable? What exactly do you mean by unpredictable? Has he hurt you? Has he hurt the twins?"
"God no!" Padmé cried. "He would never do such a thing! It's just that...his temper is very volatile, and sometimes he acts on it before he takes the time to calm down."

"That isn't good," Sola said. "And I'm sure it must be pretty scary to witness."

"It can be, yes," Padmé said.

"Is that what made you come here, Padmé?" Sola said. "Did he scare you off?"

"No, not exactly," Padmé said. "I was anxious to see you all, it's been so long."

Sola wasn't sure that her sister was being completely truthful with her, but she decided to drop the subject and simply enjoy their time together.

Vader made the most of the week away from his wife and children. With the help of Qui-Gon Jinn, he worked on improving his meditation technique. He divided his time between meditating and healing in the bacta tank. And while the bacta offered him relief from the ravages of the fires of Mustafar, he was still unsure if there had been any progress with the healing of his internal injuries. Vader felt confident that if he could heal his lungs, then the rest of his injuries could be treated by more conventional medical methods. But what if Qui-Gon is wrong? What if all the meditation is going nowhere? What if this has all been a huge waste of time?

"You mustn't be so negative, Anakin," Qui-Gon chided as he appeared.

"I know," Vader said. "I can't help it, though. When you live in pain so much of the time, it's hard not to be negative."

Qui-Gon nodded. "I understand," he said. He looked at the chamber that stood complete in one of the spare rooms in Padmé's cottage. "Finally finished?"

"Yes, finally," Vader said. "They finished two days ago. I just haven't used it yet."

"Is that because Padmé is not here?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Yes," Vader said. "The house is just too empty without her and the twins here."

Qui-Gon smiled. He felt certain that so long as Vader had his family in his life he could conquer the darkness no matter what the obstacles. "She'll be home soon, no doubt," he said. "I'm sure she misses you as much as you miss her."

"I'm not sure how she feels right now, to tell you the truth," Vader said. "When she left she was...upset."

"Why was she upset?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Because I'd killed a man," Vader said. "One of the workmen. I lost my temper, and ...snapped his neck. That upset her."

Qui-Gon nodded. "I can see why," he said. "And how do you feel about that? Does it bother you?"

"It bothers me that I upset her," Vader said. "It bothers me that I killed someone else, that I have another soul on my ledger."

Qui-Gon was heartened by Vader's admission of guilt, and it gave him hope. "You've come a long way, Anakin," he said. "I'm very proud of you."

Vader didn't know how to reply to Qui-Gon's words. "How can you be proud of me, Master?" he asked. "I've done too much to earn your praise."

Qui-Gon had gone down this road with Vader before, when the guilt from his past struck him hard.

"There's nothing to be done about the past, Anakin," Qui-Gon reminded him. "You are moving away from the darkness that compelled you to do those things. That must be your focus now. There will be time for atonement later."

Vader was not sure how he could atone for the past, but decided to trust Qui-Gon.

"Have you had the doctors on board the star destroyer examine your lungs recently?" Qui-Gon asked.

"No," Vader said. "I didn't see the point."

"Well it couldn't hurt now, could it?" Qui-Gon asked with a smile. "You've worked very hard this week. I think you should have the doctors have a look."

"Very well," Vader said, not terribly hopeful. "I will return to the ship for the night and have them examine me."

"Good," Qui-Gon said. "And while you're there, have a chat with Obi-Wan. He has something he wants to discuss with you."

Vader nodded, and then left the cottage, wondering what it was that Obi-Wan wanted to talk to him about. Since Vader had stepped away from the Empire, Obi-Wan had made the most of his opportunity to command, and had spent the past several weeks helping the senate restructure the Imperial forces. Unbeknownst to Vader, Kenobi had also been using the vast Imperial network to seek out the remaining Jedi. It was his hope to restore the Jedi Order, but, until recently, had been unsure if he could trust Vader with his plans. He had been meditating upon this very issue when the door chime sounded. He opened his eyes and looked over to the door, knowing who was there before it even opened.

"Come in," Obi-Wan called.

The door opened and Vader stood there. "Qui-Gon said you wanted to see me," he said.

Obi-Wan nodded. "I do," he said, standing up. "Come in, please."

Vader stepped in and stood looking at Obi-Wan, waiting for him to speak.

"Qui-Gon tells me that your meditation has been going very well," Obi-Wan said.

"It's not easy, but I think I've made some progress, yes," Vader said. "He suggested I get my lungs examined. I don't think there's any change, but I will do so in the morning."

"Perhaps it will be good news," Obi-Wan said. "The Force works in mysterious ways, after all."

"Perhaps," Vader said. He was wishing that Obi-Wan would get to the point, for he was quite tired and wanted to sleep. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "I wanted to let you know that I will be taking the ship to the Dagobah system. It should only be for a couple of days, but I thought you'd want to know."

"Why the Dagobah system?" Vader asked.

"Master Yoda is there," Obi-Wan said.

Vader was surprised that Obi-Wan had disclosed this, and he nodded. "I'm glad he's alive," he said.

Obi-Wan smiled. "So is he," he quipped. "I thought it was time he came out of retirement."

"I hope he agrees with you," Vader said.

"I'm sure he's sensed the shift," Obi-Wan said. "The death of Palpatine sent shockwaves through the Force. the changes in you have been more subtle, but evident all the same."

"I hope the changes are physical as well," Vader said.

"Why don't we find out right now?" Obi-Wan said.

Vader didn't want to find out, didn't want to be disappointed. But he reasoned that he would get no sleep until he knew one way or another. "Very well," he said. "Let's go find out."

Padmé and the twins returned to the cottage as night was falling. It had been a pleasant week away, but they were all happy to return to their home and to their own beds. After putting the twins to bed, Padmé sat outside on the deck with a cup of tea to relax. It was a clear evening, and the stars above her filled the sky. She had not heard from Vader since she'd left, and she wondered if he was angry with her for leaving as she had. Is that what my life is going to be from now on? she wondered. Having to watch every word, every action for fear of angering him?

"Is there anything I can get for you, Miss Padmé?" Threepio asked as Padmé entered the cottage.

"No, I'm going to bed," she said. "You may shut down for the night."

Padmé made her way to her bedroom, tired after the long day. As she approached her bedroom she noticed that the hyperbaric chamber was complete, the tools and work materials all gone. So where are you, Anakin? she wondered, puzzled why he wasn't taking advantage of the completed chamber. Deciding that he had his reasons, which were undoubtedly beyond her, Padmé headed to her own bed and feel into a deep sleep.

I have no idea how long I have been asleep when I wake up with a start. Oh no, what time is it? Did we fall asleep. Oh God, it's after 4! I turn to Anakin and start shaking his shoulder. "Ani, wake up!"

His eyes flutter, but they don't open. I'm sure he's exhausted, we kind of over did it earlier. But this is serious, and I shake him again.

"Anakin, wake up!"

My voice is more insistent this time, and he rolls over to me.

"Baby, I can't, not yet," he mumbles. "Give me a chance to recharge…"

"Anakin it's 4:30!"

He opens his eyes at once. "What did you say?"

"It's 4:30, Ani," I tell him. "We both fell asleep!"

"Damn it!" he grumbles, throwing back the blanket and jumping out of bed. The lights come on and we stumble around the room gathering his clothes. "I'm going to hear about this," he says, throwing his tunic over my head.

"Here's the other sock," I say, handing it to him.

"Where are my shorts?" he asks, sitting down to put on his socks. I look under the bed, under the covers.

"I can't find them," I say.

"Never mind," he says, putting on his trousers. "I'll have to go without them."

I grins at him. "Ooo...au naturel," I tease him.

Anakin can't help but laugh. "Yeah, that's right," he says looking up at me as he pulls on his boots. "You like the thought of that?"

I do very much and nod. "Oh yes," I reply. "I will be distracted all day by that very thought."

He stands up and pulls me to him for a quick embrace. "Good, because I'll be back later on tonight. Keep those thoughts in your mind."

I laugh. "I will," I say as I stand up on tiptoes to kiss him. "I love you, Ani. Last night was incredible."

"It was," he agrees. "I love you too Padmé. I'll see you later," he tells me, kissing me softly.

Padmé woke up with a start. The images of her dream were so vivid, she half expected to find herself in the bedroom she'd shared with Anakin back on Coruscant. But she wasn't there, and Anakin wasn't coming back to her any time soon. Overwhelmed with her need of him, Padmé covered her face and gave in to the grief she'd managed to keep at bay for weeks.

Vader sat looking at the doctor, not sure he'd heard him correctly. "What did you say?" he asked.

"Lord Vader, I said that your lung function has increased by nearly 10 percent," he said. "I can't explain how this has happened, but I double checked the results of the examination. There's no error, sir."

Vader didn't know how to respond. He was shocked that Qui-Gon had been right. He was shocked that he himself had been capable of affecting the change, and for the first time in a very long time, he had hope.

Without saying another word to the doctor, Vader stood up and left. I'm coming back to you, Padmé, he thought as he walked through the corridors. I'm coming back.

Dawn has broken as the alarm tears into my sleep. The first thought I have is that today is the day I leave my beloved wife again. I turn and look at her. She is already awake, and watching me, unshed tears in her eyes.

"Time to go," I tell her softly, stroking her face gently.

She nods, unable to speak. I lean over and kiss her softly.

"Our time together is so short," she says at last.

I nod. "It seems that way," I agree. "Probably because it goes by so quickly."

"Yes, it certainly does," she replies, smiling wistfully. "And how long will it be this time, Ani?"

I shake my head. "I have no idea, angel, you know that," I tell her. "This battle is a big one, so it could be over quickly or it could drag on for weeks. There's no way of predicting, even for me."

"I see," she replies. "I just wish I had some way of knowing that you were alright, that you were safe," she says softly.

"I know, love," I tell her, stroking her face gently. "I wish I could let you know somehow, but we both know why that isn't possible."

"I know," she replies, her voice barely audible.

"I need to get ready," I tell her, kissing her once again.

"Okay," she replies.

Reluctantly I get out of bed and head for the fresher, the anxiety filling me. I still have not been able to shake the feeling that something is going to happen on this mission; I cannot determine if it is something good or something bad, however. But whatever it is, it will change my life, of that I am sure.

It seems that just yesterday I was saying goodbye to her, and now here we are again, standing at the elevator, holding one another tightly. She has done her best not to cry, but I know it is impossible for her not to; and her tears only add to my heartache.

"Please come home soon, Anakin," she says as we stand with our foreheads touching. "Please take good care of yourself."

I nod. "I will," I reply. "I promise. I love you, Padmé."

She blinks in an effort to keep her tears at bay, but to no avail. "I love you too, Anakin," she says as the tears roll down her face. I take her face in my hands and gently brush the tears away with my thumbs, and then kiss her one final time.

"I need to go," I tell her.

She nods. "Goodbye, Ani," she says softly.

"Goodbye my angel," I reply. "I will be home soon."

Vader woke up with these words still in his head. I will be home soon. Deciding he couldn't wait any longer, he donned his mask and helmet, left his chamber, and headed for the hangar deck. He was just lifting off when Qui-Gon appeared in the cockpit.

"I understand you received some good news last night," Qui-Gon said with a smile.

"I did," Vader said. "I'm still in shock, actually," he said.

Qui-Gon chuckled. "You were doubtful, but no longer," he said. "Now you see the true power of the Force, Anakin," he said. "No doubt your wife will be happy to hear this good news."

"I'm on my way to Theed to tell her," Vader said. "I don't care if her parents hate me, I can't wait to see her."

"You won't need to go all the way to Theed," Qui-Gon told him. "Padmé and the twins are home now."

"You're sure?" Vader asked. Qui-Gon nodded. "Even better," he said, piloting the shuttle out of the hangar. "Even better."

Vader found Padmé in the kitchen giving Luke and Leia their breakfast. The joy he felt upon seeing his family after a whole week away from them was only augmented by the knowledge that he had found a way to heal his ruined lungs. Padmé turned to see him as she heard him and gave him a smile.

"Welcome home," Vader said. He walked over to the table to tousle the hair of his twins. "I missed you," he said. He looked up at Padmé. "Very much," he said.

Padmé smiled. "We missed you," she said, sitting down. "Join us," she said.

"Thank you," Vader said, sitting down across from his wife. "How are your parents? Are they well?"

Padmé nodded. "Yes, it was lovely to see them again," she said. "I'm afraid Luke and Leia were quite spoiled while we were there."

Vader nodded. "Grandparents' prerogative," he said.

Padmé laughed. "I suppose so," she said. "I saw that your chamber is finished now," she said as she cut up Leia's pancakes.

"Yes," he said. "Hopefully I won't need to use it for too much longer," he said.

Padmé looked at him. "What do you mean, Ani?"

"I had the doctors aboard the ship examine my lungs," he said. "Their functionality has increased by nearly ten percent," he said.

"Anakin! That's wonderful!" she said. "How is this possible? Does Qui-Gon have something to do with it? That theory he had?"

"It's more than a theory," Vader said. "It's true, Padmé. The Force has the power to do this. I didn't think it would work, but I have worked hard all week. And it has paid off."

Padmé's eyes filled with tears. "Oh Ani, I'm so happy, so ...excited! This is wonderful! Do you know what this means?"

"I do," Vader said. "But it's not going to be easy, Padmé. I still have a long way to go, but now that I know I can do it, I'm highly motivated."

"This is amazing," Padmé said, wiping the tears from her face. "Please convey my thanks to Qui-Gon," she said with a smile.

"I will, most definitely," Vader said.