In case it isn't clear, Idris = human!TARDIS and Edwin = War Doctor.
"I don't trust this."
They're all having breakfast, and look at Missy, who had spoken. She's sitting there, staring at something indeterminate behind Theo's head, her fork full of waffle but not far above her plate.
"Trust what?" Nardole asks.
"Nothing's happened."
Bill looks at her with utter disbelief. "You call the last couple of days nothing-"
"No, that's just what I mean," Missy replies, frowning at her, eyes finally moving to focus on them each in turn. "Saxon. Kovarian too, but especially Saxon. He took a serious beating, and so far he's done nothing to retaliate."
"It's only been a couple of days-"
"It's never taken him longer than that, unless he's planning something truly awful," Missy snaps. "The only time he has patience is when he knows the pay off is absolutely worth it."
Theo looks down at his plate and swallows, pushing his plate away from him, having apparently lost his appetite. His face is difficult to read. He gets out his phone and sends a quick text message before locking the screen again.
Missy lifts an eyebrow at him.
"Small precaution, since you have a point," he says.
"Who-" Missy brushes her confusion aside, apparently deciding it doesn't matter. "I'm just saying, I think we should all be careful. We know he's worked with Kovarian, and I hate to think of what that alliance could achieve."
Something flashes through Theo's eyes, some kind of understanding, before it's gone. He sighs.
"Did we have plans today?" he asks.
"You were going to see your wife, I believe?"
"I want to go and see my parents."
It's hard to be sure exactly what has Theo so intent on seeing his parents, after months of not doing so even when Max had tried to guilt trip him about it, but Bill isn't going to complain about finally getting to meet the people responsible for bringing him into the world.
It's a few hours drive north of London, and they take Missy's car, which Bill has only ever ridden in once before. It's old and smells like it but is surprisingly clean, and accommodates the four of them easily enough. The car is old enough to still have a cassette player, and so the music selection is limited and there's not much from this century, but the choices are good and they end up having a grand time all singing along together.
Finally they arrive in a tiny village with a name that Bill can't even pronounce, and the car stops outside a modest cottage with a blue door and an extensive garden.
In said garden, a couple in their eighties are having some kind of argument. There's a lot of emphatic gesturing to the beds of petunias next to them, but Bill for the life of her can't work out what kind of problem could inspire such passionate dispute.
They both look at the car as it approaches, and Bill sees the woman's face light up as she starts immediately running towards them.
"Theo!" she exclaims, as they get out of the car and Theo steps towards her. "My Theo, oh-"
She's wrapped him in a crushing hug - she looks surprisingly strong, for someone her age, she's spry for sure - and seems so overjoyed that there's a tear or two shining in her eyes.
Theo hugs her back, almost choking at the force of it but closing his eyes and giving it his all.
"Hello, mum," he murmurs, "sorry I've been away so long."
"As you should be," say his father, who has by this point approached them and is now looking at him with half-hearted disapproval. "I know you're rather busy off being famous with that bloody guitar of yours, but that doesn't mean that-"
Before he can get any further, Theo has moved to hug him tightly, and the older man cuts off with a little huff before he's hugging Theo back, smile tugging at his lips.
"Missed you too, Dad," Theo tells him genuinely.
His father coughs as he is released, looking a bit sheepish, and as though he'd rather like to continue scolding him but can't find the grounds for it.
"Yes, well. Good."
Theo steps back and looks at Bill and Nardole with a smile. There's something more peaceful in him already, and more youthful, perhaps.
"Mum, Dad, this is Bill and Nardole. Bill, Nardole, this is my mother, Idris, and-"
"Edwin Warwick Smith, the ninth," his father interrupts, primly, making Theo roll his eyes.
Edwin has cropped grey hair and dark proud eyes, his facial hair almost unkempt around his mouth and chin and yet somehow not at all diminishing his air of regality. Perhaps it is his voice, gravelly and comforting and with a kind of natural authority.
Idris, meanwhile, has a more eccentric look to her. Her grey hair is piled onto her head and hanging in strange strands, while her dress - perhaps once rather nice, and probably originally entirely green - is patched up with mismatching colours and fabrics. Her feet are bare.
There's something about her eyes, dark and warm but utterly piercing, like she can see into Bill with one glance and know everything there is to know. From anyone else, it would be entirely unnerving. As it is, Bill just gives her an uncertain smile, and Idris gives her a wide, welcoming one.
"And Miss Missy, of course," Idris remarks, her eyes falling onto Missy. "My little Missy has come home too."
"Yes, I'm here," Missy says, voice much softer than Bill had expected, lurching forward on her heels, eyes earnest. "I'm here, Idris. Hello." Idris pulls her into a hug a bit more forgiving than the one she had given Theo. Missy hugs her back hard, eyes shut and lip shaking for just a moment. "God, it's been too long, I'm sorry I haven't dragged us back here more often."
"Don't be silly, you're both busy busy busy, can't be helped," Idris says offhandedly as they let go of each other, and she brushes imaginary dirt from Missy's clothes. "We're never much different anyway."
"Just ever more grey," Edwin adds with a wry smile. "Come on, you lot, might as well come inside and out of this grey weather."
So they go inside and sit around the dining room table with cups of tea, and the house is somehow more or less what Bill had expected - full of strange trinkets, not an absolute mess but not looking like it has ever been properly tidy either, and having an indescribable sense of sanctuary to it.
It feels like nothing bad could happen here.
"So, how is that charming wife of yours?" Edwin asks Theo. "Incorrigible as ever?"
"Does he like his women any other way?" Nardole remarks, and Missy's lips spread in a cat-like grin as she sips at her coffee.
Edwin laughs. "A fair point. A trait we share, I think." His gaze flicks to Idris, who snorts and ruffles his hair.
"I'm making sure to get that in writing, that you like it," she tells him smugly, and he rolls his eyes but can't quell the little curl to his lips.
"You guys are so cute," Bill can't stop herself from saying.
Edwin lifts his chin, with a hint of pride. "Oh, we know. It's taken us a good sixty five years, but we've gotten there eventually."
"Please, you were making all the other parents green with envy when we were in school, because it was so obvious how besotted you were with each other," Theo says.
Idris considers this. "Hmm. Our son has a point, thief."
"Thief?" Nardole asks.
"He's my thief," Idris says with absent fondness, hand combing over Edwin's hair as she stands behind him. "Has been since the day I met him."
"Because he stole your heart," Missy drawls, in the tone of someone who has heard the story a hundred times before. Despite this, her eyes are still rather warm as she regards them.
"Wow," Bill says, at how cheesy it is, and how much she doesn't care because it's adorable.
"And because he stole her purse," Theo adds, rolling his eyes.
"It was a dare!" Edwin says defensively.
Theo scoffs. "From yourself."
"It was a more original way of getting her attention, and it worked, didn't it?" Edwin sniffs, arching an eyebrow at him and looking so indignant that Bill falls into helpless giggles, and Missy's lips twitch as well.
Idris bends to kiss his cheek. "That it did, darling."
Bill is examining the wall of bookshelves in the cottage's living room when she starts upon hearing Idris approach.
"God, you're not half sneaky, are you?" Bill exclaims.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Idris says, biting her lip. "I'm not always - social etiquette is rather beyond me, often. Has been my whole life, my brain can't quite… compute it."
"It's alright, honestly," Bill says with a little smile. "Thanks for being okay with Theo randomly bringing me and Nardole to your like, reunion. I feel like I'm intruding, a bit. Just on principle, mind, not because of you and Edwin."
"Oh, I've always liked meeting Theo's friends," Idris says earnestly. "And there's something about how he talks about you - he's so fond of you, I can tell. Especially so." An odd look crosses her face. "It's almost like-"
"Like what?"
"I'd always hoped Theo might have children," Idris admits, "not just for our sake - Max gave us the one grandchild we do have, and she's delightful, and it's ridiculous that anyone feels their children owe them anything. But I've always thought he would be such a wonderful father, don't you?"
Bill's throat feels tight. "Yeah. Yeah, I reckon you're right."
"I think you might be the closest he'll ever come to it," Idris continues, giving her a little smile. "And I'm glad that the two of you have each other, at least. He's told me how you never knew your parents."
"No," Bill replies, "but the family I've got now more than makes up for it. Theo is… yeah." There's a lump in her throat. "Like you say."
Idris smiles, and looks out the window to where Theo and Edwin are playing chess in the garden while Missy and Nardole watch and eat scones.
"He's a good boy, my Theo," Idris says softly, eyes sparkling. A moment later, she sighs. "I wish he would feel as though he could tell me anything."
Bill frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I never met that dreadful Saxon man, you know," Idris tells her, her lips tightening. "Theo later told us that he'd been worried we wouldn't like him. That we wouldn't understand why he did. By then he'd realised what a red flag that had been. Of course it was, it is, always will be, but even now, even now - I can see in his eyes, that same look still. That he's not telling me something, and he knows he should."
"Yeah, I get that too," Bill says with a sigh. "I just… I just have to trust that he knows what he's doing."
"You'll look after him for me? Will you? Him and Missy, both of them, please?" Idris asks. "They have each other, but they're as silly and reckless as each other too, always have been, always will be, always, always, always-"
She trails off, looking a bit lost.
"I don't know," Idris whispers. "I've never been much good with people. Not even my own children, really. Only Edwin. Only ever Edwin."
Bill puts her hand on her arm. "Hey, it's alright. People are tricky." She looks Idris in the eye. "I promise I'll look after them. I'd never let anything happen to them, I promise. They're my family too."
Idris nods, something rather absent in her expression, but there's a flicker of relief in there as she touches Bill's face for a moment. Then she wanders off without another word.
Bill wonders about whether it would be appropriate to at some point ask Theo if he knows what kind of neurodivergency affects his mother. Perhaps not. It's not as if it matters - she likes Idris immensely, no matter how peculiar some of her behaviour and speech is.
When they eventually leave, it's with big hugs and Theo promising to not leave it so long before his next visit.
"Better?" Missy asks Theo as they begin driving away.
"Yeah," he says, with a deep exhale, and it seems to be honest enough, but there's an odd guilt in his eyes that Bill can see in the rear view mirror.
He's not telling me something.
Bill meets his eyes and he looks back to the road in front of him a moment later.
They arrive at River's mansion in the evening, and are greeted with a lot of hugs there too, from River and Helen and Liv. Helen especially seems delighted about their presence, hugging Bill extra tight.
"Sorry about the change in plans today," Theo says to River.
River smiles at him. "Don't be. I'm glad you went to see them, I know they've been missing you."
"What are his parents like, anyway?" Helen asks Bill, and Liv, who is next to her, seems similarly interested in the answer to the question.
"I don't know what I expected, but somehow like, exactly what makes sense," Bill replies. "His dad is all stuffy but like… twinkly, you know? And his mum is a bit… well, I dunno, she's a bit weird, but in a nice way, mostly."
"Sounds about right," Liv says.
Helen looks at Bill curiously. "How are you doing? I know things aren't ideal, what with everyone knowing about your… dalliance with Missy."
"I'm staying away from the internet, or at least Twitter, so I've no idea, to be honest," Bill admits. "I just… I can't deal with all that. Maybe that's what I get, for going along with our stupid teasing for so long. People were always gonna react like this when we inevitably slipped up."
"And your girl?"
Bill just shrugs. "I dunno. I just… I dunno. I guess I'll see if she turns up anywhere. Can't do much more than that, at this point, since I've tweeted that me and Missy aren't in a relationship and people don't seem to believe me."
"Fair enough," Liv says, nodding. "I hope you find her."
"Yeah, me too," Bill says, with a helpless little laugh. "This is getting ridiculous."
Helen puts a hand on her shoulder and gives her a warm, encouraging smile. "You'll find her. I just know it. I have a good feeling about it."
"Well, if there's anything I trust, it's lesbian intuition," Bill laughs. "Maybe I have got a chance after all."
"That's the spirit," Liv remarks, with amusement.
One day, Bill might wake up to something other than the sound of Missy shouting.
There's something different about it today. It's not as loud, only waking Bill up because it's so close, but it's more than just annoyance or random petty anger.
It sounds like fury. Dangerous, unleashed fury.
Bill is out of bed as quick as she can, and out of her room into the small courtyard that all the guest bedrooms are off. Across the way, she manages to see Missy, to see what is going on, and it makes Bill's heart beat a little faster with worry.
Missy has River pinned against a wall and is ripping into her.
Bill runs right for them.
"I trusted you," Missy is seething, pressing her arm against River's throat, making the other woman gasp for air just a little. "I didn't want to, but Theo promised, and you promised, and so, god help me, against my better judgement, I trusted you. And now I'm going to fucking destroy you-"
"It wasn't me," River is insisting desperately, voice a tiny bit hoarse, her eyes flashing with indignation and injustice, "for god's sake, Missy, why would I-"
"It had to be!" Missy shouts, voice cracking, and the closer Bill gets, the more that she can see just how much Missy is shaking, how utterly terrifying she is in her rage. "No one else knew, no one but us and them, so it had to be you, Song. If it wasn't you, then you blabbed to your little girlfriend and she got loose lipped, I don't know, but no matter how it happened, it is your fault-"
"Missy!" Theo shouts as he approaches, voice alarmed and sharp. "Missy, get away from her-"
"No," Missy snarls, "have you seen the article, she's opened her mouth and-"
"I didn't," River insists, scowling at her, looking beyond hurt that Missy is accusing her of this, but also increasingly angry, "and I never told my little girlfriend, because I fucking promised you both, and I took that as seriously as I've ever taken anything, so don't you dare, don't you dare-"
River is actually almost in tears now, her eyes shining at the injustice of whatever the hell this accusation is.
Theo's phone rings in the midst of all of this, and he frowns at the screen. "Not now, Jack," he mutters, declining the call. It starts ringing again a moment later, but he ignores it.
"What the hell is going on?" Bill asks.
"Oh, google my name and you'll find out soon enough," Missy says, barely glancing at her, too focused on her to do anything else.
Bill, now more confused than ever, gets out her phone and starts doing just that.
"Use your fucking head, Missy, the article is by Kovarian, why the hell would I do anything for her?" River asks incredulously. "Listen to yourself, you're so busy being angry you're not making any sense-"
"Well, it wasn't John and Emil, and no one else knows, so it had to be you," Missy insists, though she looks a bit more lost, a bit thrown, at River's words. She gets back up in River's face. "I don't know why, but it was, it's the only thing that makes sense-"
"He knows." Theo's voice is quiet.
"What?" Missy asks almost absently, still busy glaring at River.
"It wasn't her, Missy," Theo murmurs, voice pained. "He knows. Harry knows. It would have been him - we already know he and Kovarian seem to be working together in some respect."
Missy takes a step back, staring at him like he'd just slapped her across the face, like she doesn't even know him.
"No, he can't know," she says, voice soft and eyes disorientated, full of disbelief and confusion. "He didn't-"
Theo finally picks up his phone, which has been ringing all the while, and puts it on speaker, the picture of frustration.
"Jack, seriously, not now-"
"Doc, do you think I would keep calling if it wasn't serious? Someone's in the mansion, they got past me, I wasn't able to get a good look but can you just get inside a room and lock the door until I catch up to-"
Theo hangs up, his eyes focused on something behind Bill, his expression as impossible to read as ever. Missy follows his gaze, and dismay fills her features. River's eyes are wide.
Bill, hearing the footsteps coming up behind her, whirls around, heart hammering in her chest. She'd just found the article, but hadn't even be able to get a look at the full title before it had become second priority.
She'd been expecting Saxon, or his bodyguard. Or something equally ominous. Maybe she doesn't know what she'd been expecting.
The one thing that Bill had definitely not been expecting to see is the teenage girl with a mass of dark curly hair and blue eyes alight with a powerful fire, staring at them all with a peculiar mix of triumph and anger.
Bill, an odd feeling in her chest, looks down at the article on her phone.
Renegade Baby: Masters' Secret Pregnancy Reason For Split? (Anonymous insider source tells all!)
Bill looks up at the girl in front of her with disbelief. The girl who, sure enough, looks about eighteen years old, more or less.
"Charlie," Missy whispers, "what are you - you can't be here-"
"Actually, Mum, I think you'll find I can, since apparently the whole world has just been told about my existence anyway," the girl replies, crossing her arms.
River looks at her with pained exasperation. "That doesn't mean you should do something this reckless-"
"The article doesn't have anything concrete, we could have passed it off as speculation," Theo interrupts, frowning at the teenager intensely, but Bill can see the worry in his face. "You can't just-"
"Oh, you are so done telling me what I can and can't do," Charlie tells him, scowling. "Now, I have a question, and I want the truth. God help me, I want the fucking truth."
Missy and Theo exchange worried, but confused, looks.
Charlie swallows hard.
"Why is Harry Saxon trying to tell me that he's my dad?"
And there it is! (Some may recognise Charlie from my other fic, The Definition of Trouble. I couldn't resist including her in here when it just worked so well.)
Thanks for reading, please let me know what you thought!