No.
Sprinting forward, Roy fell to his knees and gathered Riza's lifeless form in his arms. Rocking her gently, he cried out, "Riza; answer me… Please!"
She did not respond; her empty, mahogany eyes staring up blankly at him, completely devoid of life.
Trembling with fear and disbelief, he reached up to apply pressure to the wound on her chest in an attempt to staunch the seemingly endless flow of blood that ran from its single wound when he suddenly froze.
In his hand was a pistol, the barrel still smoking from a freshly fired shot.
Releasing his grip on it, he watched in horror as it clattered to the ground.
No.
He didn't…
He'd never-!
Roy begged and pleaded for her to answer, but to no avail.
Now he could only sit in stunned disbelief.
No…
He didn't… He couldn't…
He'd never kill her-!
Waking suddenly in a sea of sweat-soaked sheets, Roy flew up into a sitting position and buried his head in his hands. Sucking in a deep breath, he slowly exhaled, his fingers trembling uncontrollably.
Calm down, he commanded himself silently as his body still quaked. It was only a nightmare…
But it felt so real…
Feeling wet fabric clinging to his chest, his hands went up to clutch it, his eyes frantically darting downward to search it. Much to his relief, it was only saturated in sweat.
No blood…
There was so much blood…
Taking another deep breath, Roy let his head hang down, resting his chin against his chest. He could still feel his heart racing frantically beneath his skin.
It was only a nightmare… It wasn't real…
And yet… The despair and excruciating pain from it continued to endure…
Three days had passed since he saw the recognition in her eyes. And, much to his displeasure and frustration, she hadn't shown it since, although her eyes often continued to wander over to the bandage on his face.
Still he continued to speak to her, instead trying to see if she would recognize his name at all. In doing so he discovered that his name piqued her interest, which she showed by tilting her head ever so slightly whilst raising a brow; although, she still did not seem to recognize it. In a way, however, the interest she showed was strangely comforting, giving him a fleeting feeling of hope whenever she did.
Something he also noticed in the span of those few days was that Riza was again becoming more comfortable around him, sitting closer and closer each time he sat down next to her. And to his relief, when he talked animatedly whilst using his hands, she no longer flinched when he raised them above a certain level.
He and Edward both tried hard not to imagine the reasons behind her cringe, but Roy knew that they both had their own similar theories.
For now they had to work on trust because they were actually getting somewhere…
Surprised by a knock on the door, Roy was pulled from his thoughts. Reluctantly standing, he hurried out of the room and to the front door. Upon opening it, he was greeted by Dr. Arnold Pace; the very last man he wanted to see.
"Can I help you," Roy asked bluntly.
Eyeing the man over the rims of his half-mood glasses, the older man replied, "You know why I'm here, General; so let's cut to the chase."
Narrowing his eyes, Roy answered, "No, I don't know why you're here. I was never told that I should expect you."
Raising his brows incredulously, the doctor stated, "You knew that I would eventually come, did you not? After all, I am the head researcher on chimerical alchemy."
Upon hearing the word, Roy shuddered visibly.
"It seems I struck a nerve," Dr. Pace muttered. "My apologies, General. Now, may I please come in?"
Roy reluctantly pushed the door open and stepped to the side, leaving just enough space for the doctor to walk inside. Stomping his feet on the rug in order to shake off some of the mud that had accumulated on his boots, the man looked up at Roy expectantly. "I'm ready when you are."
Brushing off the man's nonchalance, Roy walked briskly toward the living room while trying to remain relaxed; although on the inside he felt nauseous. The doctor had obviously finished examining and determining the fates of the chimera they had confiscated. Now, he assumed, the man felt obliged to "drop in" and "examine" one more, probably thinking that he would be the one to determine her fate.
…As if Roy would actually let him…
"In here," Roy reluctantly said as he led the doctor into his living room. Ignoring the fact that the doctor immediately stopped walking upon entering the room, Roy continued to the couch and sat down. Much to his surprise, Riza slid over next to him; so close that she was almost touching him. He then watched as her eyes darted upward, slowly following the doctor's movements as he seated himself in the chair across from the couch.
Dr. Pace glanced up and acknowledged Edward, whom had followed in after him and settled in the armchair that Riza had favored.
With a light nod, Edward mumbled back a reply. He did not even bother to mask his disapproving glare.
Brushing off this less than inviting welcome, Dr. Pace focused his curiosity on the blonde woman in front of him, who now had her eyes focused on the ground, ears pinned back against her head in apprehension.
After studying her for a few moments longer, Pace turned his glance toward Roy. "Any attempts at speaking," he inquired.
Trying his best to hide his disappointment, Roy shook his head slowly. "No. Right now we are focusing on recalling names and faces. A few days ago she showed signs of recognition"
Frowning at that, Dr. Pace asked, "But are you really helping her to remember or are you teaching her names?"
Feeling his mask fall, Roy muttered, "What exactly do you mean?"
As the man opened his mouth to explain, Riza suddenly shifted, raising her arm toward him while burying her face into Roy's shoulder.
His eyes widening slightly, the doctor reached forward and gently took her wrist in one hand while using the other to push the sleeve of her shirt up. After studying her arm for a moment, he furrowed his brow and frowned.
"What is it," Roy asked, trying to keep from sounding alarmed.
"See these here," he gestured to a series of small dark spots on her arm. "These are from needles, most likely used to draw blood based on their locations around the vein."
Folding his arms, Roy replied, "I know. I saw the bloodwork in the file we confiscated. They did it almost every day to check body function."
Still looking down at them, the doctor nodded. "I can see that. Although… That wasn't what I was surprised about."
Knitting his brow together confusedly, Roy said, "Care to elaborate?"
"Well, I was genuinely startled by the fact that she offered her arm without that even being the topic of our discussion. To me that suggests conditioning.* I'm sure that if I wasn't sporting my white jacket, she would not have acted in this manner," he said matter-of-factly.
"Conditioning," Roy echoed back in disgust.
"Yes," Dr. Pace replied, as if it were obvious from the moment he walked in. "So it's not that she understands us. Rather, she is simply reacting to my white lab coat, since it appears that the so-called "Dr. Beller" also sported one.
"Which leads me to seriously questioning your supposed commitment, General. You may think that you are helping her to remember, but most likely you are only conditioning her to her name and other memories and mannerisms. To be honest, I highly doubt that what you saw was recognition, and doubt that any of those memories remain intact in her mind. And that," he said as he pulled the photograph of the transmutation circle out of his pocket and pointed to a particular spot on it, "Is because of this.
"You need to read your arrays with better understanding, sir. I have been in practice for thirty-six years and have seen all kinds of circles. This is exceptionally rare, but it has still stuck out to me plain as day. Here," he said as he jabbed his finger toward one of the runes, "Is the symbol for 'soul.' And do you see this," Dr. Pace asked as he traced the line running through it.
"Yes," Roy muttered as he narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. Edward too did the same, falling into a state of deep concentration.
"This line represents 'transection,' or 'to cut through.' So it literally means to 'transect the soul.'" Shaking his head, he added, "I am not optimistic whatsoever, General. And if you are going to continue living in this fallacy, it is going to be more difficult for you to say goodbye when the government decides to act in your stead."
"If you are suggesting that the government is going to take her, then I advise that you spread your hearsay elsewhere," Roy replied bluntly.
Shaking his head again, the doctor muttered bitterly, "You are too narrow-minded to even see your absurdity, General." Snatching his hat from the table beside him, he thrust it onto his head and stood from his chair. "I've seen enough. If you are so hellbent on seeing her suffer, then be my guest."
"Gladly," Roy retorted sarcastically as he eased away from Riza and stood. "I'll show you out."
Leading Pace to the door, Roy opened it and motioned for him to leave. With a quick bob of his head, the doctor briskly stepped outside. Before going further, however, he turned around and addressed him one more time. "I also have a message for you, General. You see, the Fuhrer was the one that sent me-"
Of course.
"-And he has requested your attendance at an obligatory meeting tonight at his residence at seven-o-clock sharp."
Roy's lip twitched agitatedly, yet he replied coolly, "Tell the Fuhrer that I will be there promptly at six-thirty then."
Nodding toward him one final time, Dr. Pace replied, "I shall let him know." Turning back to the pathway, the doctor took a few additional steps before one last thought crossed his mind. Whirling back around to face the General, he added, "I will be seeing you soon."
Before the man could comment further, Roy abruptly slammed the door shut.
"Here are a few more that I found," Roy said as he shoved the stack of photo albums toward Edward a little more forcibly than he meant to.
Trying to balance the awkward addition to the already growing pile in his arms, Edward mumbled, "Alright, alright. I think that's enough."
Roy sighed, trying his best to push away his feelings of worry and dread. "I'm sorry, Ed. I just want to make sure that I gave you what I had."
Trying his best to flash him a small smile, Edward said, "I think that you have, so don't worry about it. We'll take a look through these and see if she recognizes anything. And once we're done," he nodded toward the photograph of the array the doctor had used, "I'll take another look at that. Because what he doesn't know is that I've done my research too, and I'm skeptical about what he claims to see."
"Alright," Roy replied as he relaxed slightly. After pausing to think about if he had missed anything or not, a nearly lost thought crossed his mind. "I wrote down the Fuhrer's phone number and left it in the kitchen in case-"
"Seriously," Edward balked in annoyance. "God, I hope you don't have kids someday. If this is how you act when-"
"Are you suggesting that you find this funny," Roy snarled, his composure slipping away. "Because if you do, then I suggest you leave."
Surprised by the older man's sudden outburst, Edward took a moment to process it before quickly turning defensive, "If I did, then maybe you'd finally get the idea that someone was actually on your side through your thick skull."
"If you're on our side, then why the fuck would you even make a joke like that," Roy demanded venomously, refusing to back down.
"Alright, I admit it; that was stupid. You can't blame me for trying to find some light in this dark hellhole we've found ourselves in." Narrowing his golden eyes, Edward hissed, "You aren't the only one that didn't like what Pace said, you know. So stop acting like you're the only one that's suffering." Taking another step forward, his face inches from Roy's, the former alchemist continued without holding back, "I left my pregnant wife at home to be here for you. If I wanted to, I really could just leave and go back home to her-"
He was right. Slowly taking a step backwards, Roy realized that he was so right. He wasn't forcing Edward to be there. He didn't have to at all…
Was this how he truly felt?
Roy was suddenly taken aback, however, when he heard the blond man's tone change.
"-But I won't yet… I made a promise to see this through until the end." His golden glare becoming increasingly softer, Edward continued, "I want to help, but you have to see that even if it seems like it, not everyone is against you."
Closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose, Roy took another step backwards. After feeling the rage slowly melt away, he took a deep breath and exhaled. "…I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking." He had let his emotions and stress get the better of him…
Opening his eyes wearily, he muttered, "I honestly wouldn't blame you if you decided to go."
After accepting the General's apology, Edward said, "It's fine. Besides," he said as he shot Roy the faintest of smiles, "I can't go back anyways. Winry kicked me out."
"What," Roy asked in disbelief, feeling guilt suddenly flood his gut.
"Yeah," Edward replied as he shrugged, his smile widening, "She told me that I couldn't go back until I either fixed Hawkeye or her water broke. So if you want me to get out of your hair, we need to come up with a plan fast."
Roy was at a loss for words. Despite everything he has said and done, Edward still refused to give up. "I…" he slowly began, feeling his faith swell up inside of him, "I… don't know what to say."
"Just say 'thank you' and get off to the meeting. The sooner you get back, the sooner we can get back to work," Edward replied as he set the stack of photo albums down and picked one up, flipping it open in his arms.
"I…"
Edward shot the man a look of false annoyance, his golden eyes flashing with the same confidence and fire Roy had first witnessed nearly eight years prior.
After clenching his jaw shut, Roy opened his mouth again and replied, "Thank you," finally allowing a small smile to spread across his face.
When Roy walked back into his house and closed the door behind him, he leaned back heavily against it and rubbed his eyes tiredly.
The meeting could have gone a lot better.
He should have known that Dr. Pace would immediately call Fuhrer Grumman with his report the second he was able to.
Of course the Fuhrer was upset. Angry. Pained… They all were.
The conclusion they had come to was one that he agreed with, however…
He now realized how eerily silent the house was. Pushing himself off the door he slowly ventured forward, making his way toward the living room. As he rounded the corner, he saw one lone lamp that had been left on.
Approaching it with the intent to turn it off, he stopped, realizing that someone was using it; or rather, was at some point. As he crept forward he saw that Edward was resting his elbow on the couch's armrest, his cheek resting heavily on his fist. In his lap Roy could see one of the photo albums he had given him opened up to a random page.
Next to him, her body angled mostly away from the former alchemist, was Riza, her head resting ever so slightly against Edward's shoulder. Stepping closer, Roy saw that she was clutching a crumbled up photograph in one of her hands. Trying to make out which one it was, Roy slowly advanced but then froze.
Riza slowly opened her eyes and focused on him. Pushing herself upright, she clenched the photograph tighter in her hands and drew it closer to herself, eying him warily.
With a snort, Edward raised his head and turned it back and forth after being awoken by the sudden decrease in pressure on his shoulder. Blinking a few times to try and rid himself of his sleep-filled eyes, Edward too looked up at Roy. "Hey," he mumbled, his voice gravelly from his nap, "What time is it?"
Squinting down at his watch, Roy murmured, "About twelve-thirty."
"Damn," Edward groaned as he stretched, "That was a long meeting."
"Yeah," Roy replied half-heartedly as he eyed the photo album in Edward's lap. "So how did it go?"
Edward raised and lowered his shoulders. "Alright, actually; after she stopped looking for you and pacing after you left." Moving his hand down to the album, he looked down and examined the photos. "She identified you almost every time, regardless of your age, whenever I said your name." Flipping the page and pointing to one of the entire Mustang team, including himself and Alphonse, he added, "And she identified me about half of the time, though newer pictures were considerably easier…
"Although, I have to say that she identified you every single time I called you General Bastard."
"What," Roy practically yelled, causing Riza to jump slightly.
Rolling his eyes, Edward muttered, "I was kidding; I said 'Roy' every time."
Sighing, Roy sat in the armchair opposite the table with the lap and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not in a joking mood, Fullmetal."
"...Right," Edward replied. Suddenly his demeanor changed, any bit of playfulness or confidence slipping off his face. Clearing his throat, he stood up and stretched anxiously. "You mind if I talk to you for a second?"
Roy's eyes wandered over to Riza, who was no longer paying the pair any heed, her eyes focused down on the picture in her hands. "Sure," he said slowly as Edward walked past him and toward the staircase.
When the blond led him up to the second level, Roy continued to follow him until Edward led him to his office. Closing the door behind him, Roy asked, "What is this about exactly?"
Sighing heavily, Edward leaned against Roy's desk and massaged the bridge of his nose. Without looking up, he muttered, "Pace was right. There was more to the circle than I thought…"
"How is that possible," Roy asked, trying his best not to show his alarm.
Looking down toward the floor, Edward continued, "It wasn't copied down correctly in my notes… You know the lines he pointed out? When I scribed it, I drew them as going around the rune instead of going through it. And unfortunately," he said as he sighed again, "What I saw tonight confirmed what he had said…"
"What did you see," Roy pressed, the panic in his voice ill-masked.
Looking up, Edward's eyes caught Roy's. "You know how you said she acts like she's in pain every time she looks into your eyes? Well, she did that tonight too if she looked at a photograph for too long… And now I know why…" His eyes filling with pain, he uttered, "The only way we can fix this is with human transmutation."
"So… He's finally figured it out… Things have certainly gotten interesting, haven't they," the pale silhouette said as it chuckled, directing Its question toward the blonde woman that was seated cross-legged in front of it.
Frowning, the woman's sherry eyes narrowed, searching the creature's face with contempt.
Its grin widening, the Truth quipped, "I wonder what they would be willing to sacrifice for you."
A/N:*And in case you aren't familiar with psychology, conditioning is a type of behavior modification made famous by Pavlov and his dogs. Pretty much, he "conditioned" the dogs to salivate when a bell was rung because after he rung it, he would often feed the dogs. He did it so many times that they would drool after he rang the bell, even when he didn't provide food.