Andy's POV of the night in question and the morning after.
Enjoy!
Laying here next to Sharon Raydor as she sleeps off one hell of a hangover, is definitely not how I thought I would be spending my morning. I never thought she had a vulnerable side, let alone I would be the one to witness it. After all I am the one who started her horrible nickname the wicked witch. Seeing her breakdown, due to her husband's idiocy hurt me. I don't know if it is the fact that I too, am much like Jack, an alcoholic with two children and I had a wife at home, but I was too busy having an affair with the bottle to truly care or is it because I actually care for the woman, I once thought I despised with every fiber in my being? I can't really tell. I feel guilty for all the things she has had to endure. Sure I'm not the one who did them, but I still feel responsible in some sort. I knew her husband sort of, but not enough to know the damage he was causing.
It is such a shame that he didn't realize the damage he was causing along the way. This woman is hurt so gravely that she believes it is all her fault:
"I just don't understand what I ever did to him, to make him treat me like this! I did everything he ever asked of me! I even gave up my dream of being a lawyer for him. I had kids early in the marriage for him! I alienated my family for him! I even had an abortion for him! I went against my religion for this man, because I loved him, and he treated me like I was nothing to him! What did I ever do to deserve this?" She shouts as she gets up from the couch and heads to the kitchen. Sitting here watching her reveal one of deepest secrets about her marriage, is rocking me to the core. How can a man ask his wife to have an abortion? What kind of man does that despicable act?
"Sharon, you didn't do anything wrong. He was just a fool who doesn't realize what he is missing out on!" I say trying to console her. I can see the hurt in her eyes, but not one tear has yet to fall. It is almost like she is too angry to cry. I just want to reach out and hold her, and let her know that everything will be ok and that she can and will make it through this.
She comes back with the entire wine bottle, she has forgone the glass and is drinking straight from the bottle. "I'm broken, Andy! I never knew love was supposed to hurt like this! You would think after all the shit he has put me and my children through, I would hate him, but I don't. I still love the jackass and it scares the hell out of me! No one has ever used me and made it feel as good as he did! What does that say about me? After all of the abuse and mistreatment, I still love him! What has he done to me! I'm so blinded by him! I don't know how to take the blinders off!" She exclaims before taking a gulp of wine. How dare she feel like she has done anything wrong? That asshole has really done a number on her! She gives off the concept that she is the strongest person alive, but yet she is crumbling inside! Damnit!
"Sharon, nothing is wrong with you. You love him, he is your children's father and I presume your first love, deep down inside you want it to work, and you probably think that in order to gain, you must go through pain and that isn't the case." I say reassuringly as I resists the urge to pull her into a hug and hold on to her until all of her broken pieces are mended. She looks at me as I reveal, "I'm no expert on love, but I can sure as hell tell you that it isn't supposed to hurt. It is supposed to make you feel overjoyed and blissful. I'm sure you felt that at one point in your marriage to him, and you still may have lingering notions of it, but what you are displaying right now, is sheer contempt and hurt toward him."
I say as the first tear falls. I want to wipe the tear away, but I know that is something that must happen if she wants to get over him.
"It's my fault! The times changed and he didn't! Like an idiot I thought he would change, if I just stayed and attempted to look past all the wrong he has done! I let him do me wrong and now look at me sitting here pouring my heart out, to a man who probably can't stand me!" She exclaims. "Sharon, don't you ever think I can't stand you. Yes, we have had our differences, but that was because we don't completely understand each other. But the last couple of days, I have begun to see a side of you, that really intrigues me and I am really enjoying it." I say needing to correct her wrong assumption of how I feel towards her and also afraid that I have said too much, because she doesn't say anything right away. She gives me a slight smile, and reaches for my good hand and squeezes it gently once I surrender it.
This woman is so broken that it scares me. But it isn't the type of scare, which makes me want to run away. It's the type that makes me want to stick around and be of any help that I can be. I don't know why though, maybe it is the bad boy in me that likes a sense of danger? Or maybe it is because I can't stand to see someone hurt, who has done nothing but try to be the best wife and in return all she got was crumbs. No one deserves crumbs, especially not someone you pledged an oath to in front of God. She deserves everything and more, because that is what a marriage is supposed to be. I know I wasn't the best husband, but I had the decency to notice my issues, and get help, even though that didn't stop my wife from filing for divorce, and keeping my children from me. But in the end, noticing and trying to amend my mistakes has ended up helping me, my ex isn't so hostile towards me anymore, and I'm starting to develop a newfound relationship with my children. I wish she had the same strength as my ex-wife, to just let go, and be free. She deserves it. She is still clinging on to some small shred of hope, which I know she feels in tarnishing.
I wonder why she just won't let go. Part of me wants to believe it is because of her children, but they are both grown. Another part of me wants to believe that she still loves him so much, that she doesn't want to imagine her life without him. God, I rather it be the first than the second. When she asked me last night, "How does she stop loving him?" It caught me off guard and I was unsure of what to say, but I gave it my best shot:
"I don't know exactly, but I think you are on the clear path to doing so. You are recognizing the flaws and understanding what has really occurred."
After my honesty, she took me by complete surprise once again, and started kissing me.
Sharon's soft lips are on mine. She doesn't hold back, and I want to hold back, but I can't stop myself. My hand is roaming over her beautiful body. Suddenly, I realize this wrong. I push her back and she asks, "What's wrong?" I utter "Sharon, you are drunk." As I am trying to catch my breath and grasp the reality that she just kissed me. She declares, "So!" and starts kissing me again. This time it is me that deepens the kiss. She climbs atop of my lap. My tongue demands entrance into her warm and inviting mouth. She obliges as my hand roams through her hair, and she and I both begin to moan. As I am swallowing her beautiful moans, she starts sucking on my tongue. She is slowly grinding against me and I'm responding as I had no doubt I would. As my hand is roaming through her hair pulling her head back slightly, so I can trail kisses down her neck, she rips my shirt open. Which awakes me from any thought of continuing this, remembering that she is drunk and she just wants to feel something, to numb the pain, "OK, Sharon, we have to stop." "But?" She protests. "But nothing, you are intoxicated and you are not in the right frame of mind. Come on let's get you in the bed."
"Okay!" She happily says. "By yourself." I say as her face deflates. As the beautiful swaying woman stands, I guide her to her room and pull the cover up over her and close the door.
I can't leave her like this, so I decide to sleep on the couch, shirtless and all, but not before I decide to roam her fridge for some milk, to get the taste of alcohol out of my mouth.
As I lay back on the couch and begin to drift off to sleep, I hear something but I just chalk it up to being random sound places make at night. Then I hear her, "And-y-y-y!" She purrs trying her best to be seductive but she is too drunk for it to be as sexy as she possibly intended. I open my eyes, and she is standing less than two feet away me, completely naked. Of course my manhood, has a different reaction than my brain. Damnit, she is gorgeous! Why does this have to happen when she is hurt and just wants to feel something? I snap out of my thoughts and get up, and she staggers closer to me, "So, I see someone wants this as bad as I do!" She stammers out, as she tries to reach for my bulge. I move from within hands reach just in time, because I'm sure if she would have touched me, there would be no stopping us then.
"Come on, let's get you some clothes and put you back into bed." I say as I lightly put my hand around her beautiful naked waist, guiding her to her room. "How about you take off your clothes instead!" She exclaims as she sits down on her bed. I just laugh and start opening her drawers and I found a shirt and put it on her, with her assistance. She tries to reach for my bulge once more, but I give her a warning look, and she retreats her hand instantly. I finally get her tucked back in and I am I walking back out and surely headed to the bathroom, she whispers, "Hold me, Andy, please." I can't bring myself to deny this delicate woman the sheer comfort of someone being there for her in her time of need. I'm not sure if holding her is the best idea, considering my salute to her at this current moment, so I say, "Let me go the restroom and I will be right back, ok?" She hums, "OK." By the time I return from the restroom she is fast asleep. I slide into bed next to her, careful, not to hurt my arm or side any more than it already is and also careful not to wake her. She feels my presence automatically and scoots back towards me, without even thinking my arm drapes around her waist. She hums contently.
So here I am laying in Sharon Raydor's bed wide awake thinking about all the things I learned about her in the last 24 hours. Wow, how things change quickly.
30 minutes later…
I feel her stir next to me and I open my eyes and say, "Sharon?"
"Hi." She whispers as she turns around to face me. She looks into my eyes. "Feel better?" I ask looking into her eyes. She doesn't respond right away. Instead she just looks into my eyes and gets lost for a second. She breaks the trance, and asks, "Did we..?" I cut her off and say ""No, you asked me to hold you, and we just fell asleep."
A look of relief flushes across her face, as I revealed to her that she hadn't embarrassed herself as much as she thought she had.
"Hold me? How much did I have to drink?" She shamefully whispers.
"You had an entire bottle and you wanted more, but I wouldn't let you." I confess as I stare into her beautiful eyes, that I never thought I would ever garner the chance to gaze into up close.
"Oh, gosh! What did I do?" She inquires palming her face.
"You just told me all the horrible things that happened in your marriage and…" I say but then I abruptly start unsure of how to word the next part.
"And what?" She inquires.
"Umm, you wanted to have sex, but I couldn't allow you to do that, when you were not conscious of what you were doing." I finally admit as I watch her eyes fly open in disbelief.
"Oh my God, Andy! I am so sorry!" She exclaims sitting up abruptly, trying to get out of the bed. She starts massaging her temples which probably means her head is spinning and she asks, "Did I drink red?"
I nod yes. "Shit!" She exclaims. I can't help but chuckle. Captain Sharon Raydor, cursing! Something I never thought I would hear!
"How bad was it?" She inquires.
"Well you ripped my shirt, which is why I don't have one on now." I say laughing lightly at the blush on her cheeks and her stunning jade eyes darting back and forth.
She glares at me and says, "It's not funny."
"It kind of is, in retrospect." I say, "And then when I finally got you to simmer down, and put you in the bed or so I thought, you took off all of your clothes, including your underwear and came into the living room, where I was laying on the couch."
"No! Please tell me you are joking!" She says as she sinks back down into the bed.
"Nope." I say as I sit up against the headboard and look down at the serene beauty freaking out about last night.
"So, how did I end up asking you to hold me?" She inquires and then quickly states, "Because I'm pretty sure if I approached you naked it was not for you to hold me."
"I finally got you a shirt to put on and I tucked you into bed, again, and as I walking back out to the living room, you asked me to hold you. It was too hard to resist, because you had just bared your soul to me, no more than two hours. I was afraid to do so because you had tried to seduce me, also. I knew how delicate you were and how bad you wanted to be comforted." I confess as she slowly looks up at me, as she unburies her face from under the cover.
"I bared my soul to you?" She asks.
"Mm, hmm." I say as she reaches to cover her head again, but I block her and she looks back up at me, shocked.
"What did I say?" She inquires unsure if she really wants to know.
As I tell her what she revealed, I see so many different emotions play upon her face. The mixtures, of scared, shocked, amused, aroused and embarrassed all made an appearance she realizes how much of herself, she revealed to me last night.
As I finish telling her all the details, she reveals she can't believe she made a fool of herself. I inform her "You didn't make a fool of yourself. You needed to vent and I was glad to be your sounding board." As she peeps from under the cover.
"Really?" She hesitantly asks, looking up at me.
"Yes, Sharon, really. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always count on me." I say as I lightly stroke her hair, that isn't hidden by the duvet.
"Andy you don't have to do that for me. I don't won't to be a bother." She says looking into my eyes. I'm sure she can see the emotion that lies within them.
"Sharon, I wouldn't have suggested it, if it was a bother. I want to be your friend, Sharon." I say as I am still fascinated by those gorgeous jade eyes, as the morning sun illuminates them. "Why would you want to be my friend?" She whispers, slowly sliding back under the cover.
"Hey, come out from under there." I say as I pull the duvet back, to reveal her looking intently up at me, with tears forming in her eyes. "I want to be your friend, because I see that there is more to you, than what meets the eye. You aren't the ice-queen that everyone in the LAPD thinks you are. You are a woman, who has endured a lot and you handle it with grace. You are what we Italians like to call the epitome of 'Sprezzatura' meaning you exude grace under pressure. I can tell that is no easy feat, and you do it so well. Who wouldn't want to be friends with a woman who does that and on top of that raised two kids by herself, is smart, driven and gorgeous?" I rasp never losing eye contact.
She blinks a few times upon hearing that I think she is gorgeous, I'm the rest is no surprise to her, but me admitting she is gorgeous probably caught her completely off guard. "You are just saying all of that because you want to make me feel better." She finally says breaking eye contact to stare a blank space in the celling.
"Sharon? Sharon, look at me please." I say as she slowly turns her attention back to me, "I'm saying those things because they are true, and if they make you feel better than that is an added bonus." She gives me a slight smile and I smile back.
"I have an idea, how about you get out of this bed and go take a shower, so we can go back to my place so I can get my pain meds and change clothes, so we can go to this great place I know that serves fantastic pancakes. You need something to soak up all that wine." I say as I run my fingers through her hair again, and I'm sure I feel her shiver a little in the process.
She agrees and gets out the bed and takes the duvet with her, because the shirt, I found last night surely didn't cover her ass. She continues to try to weasel her way out of breakfast, because she doesn't want to invade my day. After I inform her, that I want to spend time with a friend who needs me, she backs down, and goes in the closet and tosses a shirt to me and says, "It's my son's. He always leaves stuff here when he visits. I hope it fits." As I try to slide it on, I am having trouble and she comes over to assist me, abandoned the duvet in the closet. "Need some help?" "Sure." She helps me slide the shirt on, and is inadvertently straddling my thigh and I can feel the warmth emitting from her, rub against my thigh as she backs up. Her eyes widen as the contact is made and I say, "Don't worry, I will close my eyes, so you can walk away."
She sarcastically replies, "How kind of you?" As she motions for me to close my eyes. Once she returns to the closet she informs me that I can open them. As she heads to the bathroom, she stops at her dresser and I ask about the possibility of coffee being in her house to keep me busy until she is ready to go. Once she gives the details of where to find everything I head to the bedroom door and stop and say,
"Oh yeah, don't forget to brush those teeth, wine breath is, no Bueno!" I tease as I walk out the door, she throws something at me and I laughs.
30 minutes later…
I'm so enamored with my thoughts, I miss her walking into the kitchen. She lightly touches my shoulder, "You ready to go?"
I nod yes, and I look at her in a simple but amazing outfit. She is wearing a cream elbow length sweater that hugs her curves in all the right places, with some light wash jeans and Sperry's. She has on very little makeup, and her hair is in a messy bun. She has forgone the glasses, and I assume opted for contacts today. Damn she is beautiful as hell!
We walk to her car, she drives me back to my place. I take a quick shower and change clothes. I walk out into the living room and she is reading the newspaper. "You ready to go?" I ask as I walk into the living room. She looks me over quickly, and I chuckle a little. I guess she likes the polo and khaki's look. "Mm, yeah." She says softly. "Did you take your meds?" She asks as we head to the door. "They are in my pocket. Can't take on an empty stomach." I say as we reach her car, I open the driver's side door for her. She gets in and gives me slight smile as I close the door.
I get in the car and she asks, "So, where are we headed?"
"Just crank the car, and I will tell you where to turn." I tease. She just rolls her eyes, before backing out of the driveway.
As we pull into the parking lot of the best place to ever make pancakes, she says, "I should have known you would think…"
Leave me some nuggets of love! I will try to have the next chapter up today, but if not I will have it up tomorrow!
Can anyone guess where they went?