Chapter Thirty-Eight:

"Are you sure it's okay we stay another night? I don't like to feel like we're running away. Besides, what about Emma?" Robin asked as she and Patrick were on their way to pick Emma up to have breakfast with her before school. Patrick wanted them to spend another night at the hotel to work through more issues and he had some ideas on how to help Robin.

"We aren't running away. I think the house is a place that holds too many bad memories at the moment and I want to be sure you are safe until we know who came to the house yesterday. We will see Emma now and pick her up after school to have dinner with her and Mac before we go back tonight. I really think it's best," Patrick said as he pulled up to Mac's.

"Okay," Robin said and looked out the window as Emma ran to the car. She smiled and vowed that no matter what else was happening, Emma would have no more sadness.

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A few hours later, Robin made her way to a visit she needed to make. Patrick was at the hospital and would be tied up for another hour.

She knew she should tell him where she was going, but she didn't really know what she was hoping to accomplish. She also knew that things weren't as perfect as they seemed to be with the two of them.

Robin needed to take this slow and know, in her heart, that he was where he wanted to be. She simply couldn't bear him wanting another woman over her. She would walk away and never look back. She wanted Emma to grow up and know that it was okay to be a strong independent woman. She wanted to be a good role model for her daughter and not someone desperate for attention.

She was also scared. So much had happened to her and she worried maybe she was too damaged to be someone Patrick would want. Sure, now he was happy she was home and he wanted to help her, something she really needed, but she worried about what might happen when the novelty wore off.

Why did she doubt him so much? Why did she feel like she wasn't enough?

She exhaled and knocked.

"Robin?" Sam opened the door to the penthouse when she heard the knocking.

"Hi. I wondered if we could talk for a minute?"

Sam smiled and moved as Robin walked in. She smiled when she saw Danny playing with his toys.

"Wow. He's getting so big," she said and Sam grinned.

"I know. He's so stubborn and he has this need to do everything himself. I swear, he's like a teenager in a baby's body."

Robin laughed and Danny smiled at her as she sat on the couch.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No," Robin said and tucked her hair behind her ears as Sam sat down. "I wanted to talk to you about everything that happened. We haven't had a chance to talk and I need to ask you something."

Sam sighed and nodded.

"Would you be happier with Patrick?"

"No," Sam said without a pause. "I love my husband and there was never a choice. Jason is my whole life and Patrick and I were never going to be a long-term thing. I'm truly sorry you saw what you did, but I am not looking to be with your husband."

Robin shook her head.

"He isn't my husband and I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to apologize if what I did messed things up for you. I never intended for things to go on for so long and I realize now that I should have told you from the beginning that I was going to try and help Jason. I did everything wrong and so many lives were messed up."

Sam felt terrible for her and could see the sadness behind her eyes.

"Robin, you saved my husband and brought him home to me and Danny. You went up against the worst people imaginable and you sacrificed everything to do it. If anyone should have done things differently, it's all of us. When Patrick told me the real reason you left, I should have immediately searched for you. I should have looked for all of the answers to what Jason went through. I should have demanded to see his body or to know how he was pulled from the pier in the first place. I didn't do any of that and looking back now, I don't know why. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to look at me without such anger. I knew you lost everything to help my husband and I was okay with the attention Patrick was paying me. I let him wine and dine me and I let it go to a place where you walked in on us sleeping together. I don't deserve your apology, Robin. I should have never slept with your husband."

Robin stood up, more uncomfortable. She looked at Sam and remembered seeing Patrick walking out in a towel.

"Again, he isn't my husband. Thank you for talking to me and I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you. I need to go," she said and rushed out of the penthouse.

Sam was worried. Something seemed to spook Robin and she didn't know what. She also realized the truth of her own words. She still didn't understand how she was so willing to play house with Patrick and never look to question Robin.

It was like none of them were acting like themselves.

At least some things were getting back to normal. She and Jason were happy and getting stronger every day.

She hoped the same would happen for Patrick and Robin.

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Robin sank down in the corner of the hallway on her way to the elevator and felt her tears fall. She didn't know what she was thinking, coming here. What was wrong with her?

Robin was never so passive and needy. She didn't need anyone's approval and she certainly didn't need Sam to forgive her for anything. What was going on?

"Robin?" Jason's voice startled her.

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?"

She stood up and wiped her eyes.

"I'm fine. I need to go," she said and turned to walk into the elevator. She knew what she needed to do.

Jason watched her and felt his heart twist.

He wished more than anything she could be happy.

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Patrick closed the last chart of the afternoon and smiled as he thought of what he had planned for the evening. He knew there was so much left to work through, but he couldn't help but be encouraged by Robin's willingness to be close to him. Waking up with her in his arms was amazing and he knew he would be able to help her even more if she let him.

"Dr. Drake? There is a patient in exam 4 for you," the nurse buzzed his office.

"Okay," he said and sighed. He didn't have another appointment and he wanted to leave to pick Robin up.

He walked into the room and stopped when he saw Robin sitting on the bed.

"Robin? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"I needed to talk to you," she said.

"Okay, but weren't we going to be together again tonight?"

She played with a fuzz on her shirt and looked at him.

"I'm not going to the hotel again. I think it's better if we stay away from each other."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Nothing. I just don't know that being with you is what's best for either one of us and I need time to figure out what I want."

He sat down and looked at her, trying to find answers.

"What changed?"

"Nothing. I went to see Sam and something happened while I was there."

"You went to see Sam? Why?"

"It doesn't matter. I just realize that there is so much that needs to be fixed and I can't just let you help me like nothing has changed. Patrick, everything has changed. I've changed and you've changed and I simply don't know where I fit in anymore. I am going to go back to my apartment and try to figure things out. I think it's good if Emma stays with Mac tonight because she is safe and I don't want her to worry about me. You should move forward with your life and not let my coming home upset that."

"Where is this coming from?" he asked as he paced in the room. "I thought we were reconnecting last night and I wanted to continue with that. I thought you were open to that, too."

"I appreciate your help, Patrick, I really do. I wanted nothing more than to come home and be happy with you."

"Then what's stopping you? What changed?"

"Seriously? You changed. You replaced me and that doesn't just go away. I can't let myself get caught up in the romance of being saved and held and loved and not know in my heart it's real. I worry it isn't. I know you think I left you and our marriage, but I didn't. I know you divorced me because you were hurt and angry and I understand that, but my coming home and disrupting your new life doesn't make everything default back to how it was before. I need to respect myself and I need you to understand that. I need to remember I am a person outside of you and these past three years have made me forget that. I wanted nothing more than to come home to you and now that I see things are different, I need to find a new normal. Please let me go. Please let me move on like you did."

"Robin, I love you and I want you. I don't know how to make you believe that," he said as his voice cracked.

She walked to him and touched his cheek.

"You don't need to make me believe it. I just need to heal myself and learn to live with all I've lost before I can look at our life with any kind of future."

"But what about last night? I felt the connection. I know you believed in our kiss."

"I did and I felt it, too."

He cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Then what are you doing? Why are you walking away from us?"

She moved his hand and sighed.

"There is no us. I'm sorry. I'd like to work out a custody agreement that is okay with you so I can spend time with Emma. I don't want her to be any more confused than she already is," she walked to the door and turned to face him.

"Patrick, I need you to keep your distance from me. I need to move on and I can't do that if you're always there. Maybe e=we can take time and get to know each other again and then who knows what might happen. For now, please go back to your life and be happy."

"What life would that be?" he asked angrily. "I don't think there is anything left of that life. I'm pretty sure Sam is busy right now."

He knew he shouldn't have said that and the hurt that crossed her face solidified his disgust with himself.

"Right, although that wasn't really what I had in mind," she said softly and then stood tall. "So I'll see you another time. I'm going to have dinner with Mac and Emma and then I'll be at my apartment. You should bring her home tomorrow, or she can stay with me if you want," she said and walked out.

Patrick picked up the cup on the counter and threw it across the room, enjoying the clash of sound it made against the wall.

"Whoa," a voice said as he turned.

Sabrina stood there and he sighed.

"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked as she walked closer.

Patrick looked at her and all he could hear was Robin's voice.

"Go back to your life."

Fine. Screw her and her need to be independent.

He looked at Sabrina and sighed.

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Robin made her way to the Stone Cates Wing and walked to the area she wanted. She felt happy with her decision to spend time without Patrick because she really needed to be sure he wanted her. If he did, perhaps they could just take things slow and become reacquainted with each other.

She looked up and smiled when she saw Mark, the reason she had come by. Her smile faded when she saw he was visibly upset and she went to him, hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

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