Sorry for being gone so long! DND and Dragon Age has ensured that my brain can't do anything but 90% fantasy at the moment, which is a pain. But I finally got this gone. Enjoy!
Once the clammer about Theo's middle name has died down, there is an odd silence.
"Well, Uncle Max, full points for an amazing entrance," Charlie says, bursting into applause, and Missy immediately joins in. Nardole, after a moment, does the same, and so does River.
Max does not look amused. Bill has to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning.
"Am I to understand, Irving, that I have been lured here for the purpose of being shocked out of my mind for the entertainment of you all?" Max asks Brax, frowning. "Because it's in very poor taste, if that is the case."
Bill has to take a moment to consider that even though Brax is older than Max, he looks about ten years younger, though that could be down to his hair not being grey or white, which is probably just the result of dying it. Still, it's odd to realise that Max is the younger brother in this scenario.
Well, except for how Brax is smirking. That has smug oldest sibling written all over it, even Bill knows that, and she doesn't even have any siblings.
"It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, Max, I'm hardly going to get another chance to see the look on your face when you find out you're an uncle and that Theodore has somehow managed to keep a single secret for eighteen years."
"I resent the implications of that sentence," Theo tries to say, only for both of his brothers to shush him. He has a look of resigned annoyance that Bill has to wonder if this happened a lot when he was a child and they haughty teenagers.
Max huffs and looks away from both of his brothers to regard his parents with scrutiny instead.
"We also only just learned of this, Maximus, before you attempt to expend any of your prickly attitude towards us," Edwin warns him.
Max considers this for a moment and nods. He looks at Charlie.
"Come here, my dear, let me look at you," he says, and Charlie looks like she wants to refuse to do so on principle, but after a moment moves to stand in front of him. "Good lord, it is rather remarkable. I suppose it's why I haven't heard hide or hair of you all this time, hmm? Anyone would know your lineage just to look at you."
He frowns at Theo.
"Was it a matter of wanting to keep her away from that awful boyfriend of yours, Theodore? I can't for the life of me think of another reason why you would take such drastic action."
Brax snorts. "Don't be ridiculous, they clearly just wanted her to be able to live a normal life, outside of the press."
"Yes, Max, it was," Theo says, making Brax frown at him. "The thing about her getting to be a normal kid too, but keeping her safe was the main reason."
Brax looks at them all with disbelief. "You can't seriously expect me believe that you thought some ex boyfriend of yours could be such a danger to her. Even there were a question of her parentage, which there clearly isn't-"
Bill feels a horrible cold sensation wash over her as she remembers an exchange between her and Missy.
"Theo's brothers, his parents, do they-"
"Max knows, but never asked for the details… Brax… has no idea."
Even Charlie is looking at Brax with a sort of confused disbelief, one that tells Bill that she at least partly knows or has some idea of just how bad Saxon was, how dangerous he could be. Missy is picking at the placemat in front of her with shaking hands while Theo looks at Brax with what looks to be exasperation and pain and annoyance all warring in him.
"You might believe a lot of things, if you had ever made the effort to be anything more than a smug, aloof arse," Theo tells him, the emotion in him shaking his voice a little. "And you know, I've never held it against you, not really, it's how you are. But it means there are some things, things that everyone else here knows, except for you."
Brax glances around the room, and for the first time, seems genuinely uncertain and uncomfortable.
"Such as?"
"Such as the fact that Harry Saxon was and remains a sadistic bastard who made me believe that Missy and I could never be happy without him, and that the bruises he left on us were a small price to pay," Theo says, face twisting. He yanks up his shirt sleeve and holds it out to Brax. "It wasn't until he shoved a burning cigarette into my arm that I started to reconsider."
Brax is extremely pale. Charlie looks like she's going to be sick - there's no surprise on her face, but Bill gets the idea she's never had this much detail before, understandably.
"He was abusive?" Brax asks, voice extremely, deadly quiet.
"In every possible way you could conceive," Theo replies, at the same volume. "The only reason we finally had the strength to leave is because Missy found out she was pregnant and we knew that child would never see the light of day if we didn't."
Charlie is looking at him with a look of heartbreak. "Dad-"
Theo gives her a watery smile. "You saved us, Charlie girl. Before your heart was even beating."
Charlie runs to him and they hug fiercely. Missy watches them for a moment before her gaze moves to Brax, something cold in her eyes.
"Satisfied now, are you?" she asks him, flatly.
Brax swallows. "I didn't-"
"No, course you didn't, because you never bothered to take five seconds to look at your brother and work out something was horribly wrong," she says. "You know it's bad when Max is more emotionally perceptive than you."
"I'm more sensitive than I'm given credit for, Melissa," Max sniffs.
"That's true, but all the same."
Brax stares at Theo, who is still holding Charlie tight to his chest, but holds Brax's gaze over her shoulder now that his eyes are open again.
"I am… very sorry, Theo, that I never noticed, or that you never felt as though you could tell me," Brax says slowly, and with what sounds like fair difficulty. "I… I hope that you're alright. I could hurt him now, easily, I have numerous connections-"
"We don't need your help," Missy snaps, glaring daggers at him.
He arches an eyebrow. "Very well. It was a gesture of good faith."
"You can shove your good faith right up-"
"Melissa, not in my kitchen, please," Idris interrupts gently, having observed the entire exchange with troubled, melancholy eyes. "He's trying his best."
"Sorry," Missy mutters, and Bill is fairly sure the apology would never have left her lips had it been anyone but Idris.
They stay long enough for Charlie to get to spend some time with her family, while Bill and the others try to give them some space and make good use of the chess set out in the garden.
Finally, they all head back to London.
Missy drives again, since it's her car, but Bill ends up taking the passenger seat so that Theo can have his head on River's shoulder and Charlie snuggled into his side at the same time.
"Should we tell Clara and Ashildr tomorrow?" Theo asks Missy.
"Might as well. There's also the matter of what to do now. We're meant to leaving the country in a manner of days."
"Can't I come with you?" Charlie asks, sitting up a bit.
"If we can think of a way to have you with us that doesn't blow your cover immediately, theoretically yes," Missy answers.
"God, seriously?! Thank you!"
"Won't that be difficult, though? She looks exactly like your kid," Bill says.
"You'll have to come over separately to us, and in, I don't know, a wig, or something," Missy says, waving her hand. "But I'm sure we can make it work. I'm not letting you out of my sight long term, now, not until everything with Saxon blows over."
"Agreed," Theo says. "And while you're with us, we can work out a press angle."
"Aren't we sort of getting ahead of ourselves here?" Bill asks.
"In what way?"
"We still need to tell Clara and Ashildr."
"Ah. Right."
They organise for Clara and Ashildr to come to the townhouse the next morning, leaving it late enough to ensure that they have plenty of time to get organised and make a plan before the vertically challenged brunette couple arrive.
"Wait upstairs until one of us comes to get you," Theo tells Charlie, who nods, brow furrowed in what seems to be some kind of deep thought, though Bill has no idea what.
"So are we just going to be awkwardly standing here when they come in?" Bill asks. "Or like, acting casual? Should I lean against the wall or bannister and try to-"
"We could make out to provide interesting scenery and throw them off the main reason for their being here," Missy suggests.
Bill frowns at her. "Are you just saying that because you feel like making out with me?"
Missy sighs melodramatically and pretends to be on the cusp of being overwhelmed with emotion. "Your bum just looks spectacular today and I wanted an excuse to cop a feel."
Bill closes her eyes for a moment, processes, deliberates, and comes to a decision.
"You have seven seconds to kiss me and grab my arse, and then we're focusing on the problem at hand," Bill says.
Theo looks between them with disbelief. "Are we sure this is the best use of our-"
His mild protest doesn't get far before Missy has grabbed Bill and pulled her in for a quick, firm snog, her hand sliding into Bill's back pocket and groping freely. What is supposedly meant to just be indulging Missy is, admittedly, also indulging herself, because Bill is a good person having to deal a lot and deserves to be blatantly and consensually groped by a gorgeous woman, surely.
"I can hear all of this, you know," comes Charlie's exasperated voice from upstairs.
Bill and Missy separate, since their seven seconds are up anyway, and Bill coughs and avoids Theo's eyes while Missy just grins like the cat who got the cream.
"You know I'm a menace, Charlie dear, it can't be a surprise," Missy calls.
"It's not, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to it."
"I can hear them coming, all of you shut up," Theo tells them, waving his hand and conjuring silence as if by magic, and with perfect timing.
The front door opens, and Clara and Ashildr walk in to see Bill leaning on the decorative table in a supposedly casual way that she is certain is too staged to be believable, while Theo and Missy have gravitated together, hands not quite touching but brushing at their sides.
"For the record," Clara is saying the moment she crosses the threshold, "I'm working on following up on Kovarian's article and finding who the hell she got to spin such complete bullshit-"
She stops short when she sees the odd scene and frowns.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing," Bill says.
"You guys are being weird, so it's a something," Ashildr says flatly.
"Yes, it is, or rather, a someone," Theo admits, scratching the back of his head and giving them that little sheepish smile of his.
Ashildr's expression shifts to one of awe. "No way."
"No way what?" Clara asks them, aside, without taking her eyes off Theo and Missy. "I'm missing something. What is it?"
Theo looks at Clara seriously, and takes a step towards her. "Clara, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time, and-"
"It's me," comes a voice from upstairs, right before a blur of dark hair and leather jacket whizzes down the stair banister like something out a movie. Charlie is half laughing and half shrieking with delight, but it turns into a chorus of 'fuck fuck fuck' as she falls off the bannister two thirds of the way down and tumbles down several steps, landing in a spectacularly awkward position on the last few with a groan.
Missy slowly drags her hand over her face in a long suffering gesture.
"I'm good," Charlie groans a moment later. "I'm a melodramatic dumbass, but I'm good."
"Yes, you are all three of those things," Missy agrees, with a heavy sigh, but she's already starting to smile, just a fraction.
"I told you to wait upstairs!" Theo says to Charlie.
"And I… decided that was dumb," Charlie says as she picks up herself and what is left of her dignity, which is apparently quite a lot. Bill is impressed at how unphased by the whole thing she seems. "My entrance was going to be way better. Even with my epic fail, still better."
"Who the hell are-" Clara's sentence dies in her throat, and her eyes somehow become even wider. "No. No." An odd, disbelieving laugh comes out of her throat as she looks at Theo and Missy. "You didn't. Seriously?"
"Is it even legal for you two to unleash a kid on the world?" Ashildr asks. "Shouldn't there be laws against it?"
"Probably," Missy says, shrugging.
Charlie grins. "Definitely. But too late. And with our track record, I'd have still existed, just as a walking illegality. Damn, that actually sounds cool. Missed opportunity, there."
Clara stares at her, visibly still processing the whole thing. "Are you fucking serious?" she says, and the humour is fading from her voice as she turns to look back at Theo. Hurt is starting to enter her expression. "You have a kid, and you never said?"
Theo swallows. "I'm sorry, Clara. I didn't want to keep it from you, but only five of us were allowed to know she existed. It wasn't anything personal. I nearly told you, once."
"You're my best friend, I tell you almost everything," she says, her voice wavering.
"Clara, his parents didn't even know, or his brothers," Bill interrupts. "Only them and River, and John and Emil, because they've been looking after her."
Clara looks and her, and then back at Theo, for confirmation. He nods.
"Jesus," she breathes.
"I only met my grandparents and uncles yesterday, and before then they had no idea I existed," Charlie says, making a face. "So… yeah." She smiles a moment later and holds out a hand to Clara. "Anyway, Charlie Masters-Smith, at your service. Except not at your service because that's a weird thing to say, in hindsight."
Clara blinks where tears of hurt had threatened to gather in her eyes, and gives Charlie a hesitant smile. "Clara Oswald."
"I know. I've wanted to meet you for years. Dad never shuts up about you."
Clara looks at Theo, who shrugs a bit, avoiding her gaze, the smallest of flushes in his cheeks. She smiles. "You're a sappy old man."
"Watch who you're calling old when they have equals in age in the room," Missy says dryly.
"And you're a bitter old crone," Clara says, voice sweet.
"Do you want to go, Oswald?"
Clara laughs. "Are we talking horizontal or vertical?"
Missy gives her a once over. Bill can't blame her for how her gaze lingers in places, given how good Clara looks today. (Well, Clara always looks good, but she's rocking an amazing blouse with a little skirt and ankle boots and how can her legs be that amazing when she's so short?!)
"I'm… flexible," Missy says, smirking.
"I know," Clara retorts.
"Seriously?" Ashildr asks, arching their eyebrow. "We just found out about a secret Missodore child and you're letting yourself get seduced?"
"Please, it's not seduction," Clara scoffs.
"This is our foreplay," Missy adds, making everyone but her and Clara make faces of disgust.
"I'm doomed to be forever surrounded by allosexuals with no libido control," Charlie groans and starts heading for the kitchen. "This is what I've been missing all this time. Brilliant."
Missy flutters her eyes at Clara. "Later?"
"Later," Clara agrees. She looks back at Theo. "Alright. I'm going to need about four glasses of wine, and for you all to start at the beginning."
Thanks for reading, please let me know what you thought!