Chapter Forty-One:
Robin was frozen and she worried she had made the dumbest mistake in running off farther into the woods. It was getting dark and the rain wasn't stopping and she didn't know what to do.
It was like all of her survival instincts were gone.
She knew how to take care of herself and it was something she always prided herself with. Her parents taught her so many skills and she knew better than to get herself into this kind of situation.
She crawled out of the trees and wrapped her arms around her waist.
She wasn't going to sit and let them win. She would get herself out of this situation.
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Patrick stuck his phone in his pocket and his wallet in his medical bag and was glad he decided to bring it from the car before he walked deeper into the woods. He didn't have much, but he figured if she was injured, he could help.
He tried to temper his anger and fear at the situation. He was scared to death about her safety and he was furious that Jason just left her when she begged him not to. He knew she had so many things on her head and her fears over all that happened were suffocating.
"Robin?" he called out as he made his way through the woods.
He shivered in the rain and looked behind him to make sure the trail was still there. He learned from Robin to leave a way out. He had left scraps of paper under rocks every few feet. He was glad because he realized he didn't know how far had he wandered into the woods. He smiled when he thought of the first time he and Robin had been lost in the woods. Well, not lost really, but when they walked miles and miles to get to the cabin that was the most romantic setting he had ever seen.
"Robin? Please let me know if you can hear me!" he said and kept walking.
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Robin thought she heard something but she wasn't sure so she moved closer to the sound.
"Help! Help!" She cried out and ran, but her ankle twisted and she fell in a heap.
"Shit!"
"Robin? Is that you?" a voice called out.
"Patrick?" She sat up and wiped the mud off her cheek.
"Oh, thank God," he raced to her and pulled her into his arms.
Despite her best protests, her tears of relief and gratitude fell down her cheeks and she held onto him.
"You came after me? How did you know where to look?" she asked as her whole body shook in the cold.
He held her face in his hands and tried to assess if anything was wrong.
"Of course I came after you. I was terrified I would never see you again. I just took off and figured I would find you. I didn't know how, but I had to find you. Are you hurt?"
"I twisted my ankle but it's okay. I'm just really cold."
"Come on," he said.
She hugged him and he stood them up before looking around.
"We need to get to safety and try to get you warmed up. Can you walk?"
She nodded.
"I'm good, just cold. Are you sure it's safe? What if Carlos finds us?"
Patrick held onto her as he shifted his bag.
"He's dead. Jason killed him."
She looked at him and sighed.
"Let's go."
He held her to him and they made their way back to the car.
"Did you leave paper?" she asked him as they walked.
"I did. You taught me that."
She smiled and almost fell again.
"Hey, what is it?" he stopped and looked into her eyes.
"I just feel a little off. I think the cold is getting to me," she said softly.
He gathered her in his arms and quickly made his way to the car. He placed her in the passenger seat and got into the driver side.
"I'll take us back to the hotel and then we can figure out what's next, okay?"
She nodded and her teeth chattered.
He drove and called Mac to tell him Robin was safe and he sped to the hotel. He was happy he never checked them out and still had the keys. He parked and got out, helping her as they made their way to the elevators and up to the room. Once inside, he finally saw her in the light.
"Okay, let's get those wet clothes off first."
"I ttookk my ccllothhes home," she said through chattering teeth.
"Right. Well there are beautiful plush bathrobes in the closet and I'm going to run you a bath to help warm you."
"Okay," she said and he handed her the robe while he went to draw the bath.
She peeled her wet clothes off when she heard him start the water and she found all of the energy had left her body. She grabbed the robe as she plopped onto the floor in her underwear.
"Robin? I put bubbles in it if that's okay," he said and saw she wasn't there. "Robin?" he ran by the bed and saw her on the floor, her head in her hands.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone," he said and went to pull her to him but she stopped him.
"No. I'm almost naked," she said through her tears as she held the robe in front of her.
He smiled and smoothed her hair back.
"I know, but I've seen you naked before."
She looked at her hands and held the robe closer to her.
"I don't want you to see me naked anymore. Please leave me alone so I can get up."
"Robin, please let me help you," he pleaded as he realized she wouldn't look at him.
"Patrick, please give me some privacy," she said firmly.
"Okay. I'll run downstairs and get us a few things from the store."
She nodded and watched him take his wallet and key and leave.
Her tears fell freely as she put her hand on the bed and stood up before she put the robe around her body.
She didn't want him to see her body for a couple reasons.
The first being that they weren't together anymore, but there was also the issue of the marks that weren't there before. He knew of the burn marks on her back, but there were also cuts on her abdomen and burns on her thighs. She didn't want him to see. She didn't think she could handle it if he looked at her with pity or disgust.
She heard a noise and turned quickly, but nobody was there. She heard laughter in the hall and sighed.
"It's just a hotel," she said to herself. She stood up to go into the bathroom and sit in the tub and everything just hit her. She was taken again and she once again almost lost everything. She was frozen to the spot as the weight of her ordeal crashed down.
Patrick walked in and saw her standing there and something in her eyes told him she needed him. He raced to her as she sank to her knees and he held her as she cried.
"Okay," he held her as he sat on his knees and rocked her, holding her head to his chest. Her body was wracked with sobs. "I'm so sorry."
"I almost lost you again," she said as she sobbed. "I was so scared and all I could think was that you would think I chose to leave again. I didn't know what to do. I saw Obrecht and then I was just gone," she said and her whole body shook. "I would never leave Emma like that. I need you to know I would never go away again like that."
He felt his own tears fall as he held her. The despair in her voice just broke him and he knew he would make it his life's work to never hear such sadness in her voice again. He sat back and held her face in his hands and smiled through his tears.
"I need you to listen to me for a minute," he said as he wiped her cheeks. "You have done nothing wrong and you never need to apologize again. I know you wouldn't leave Emma and I am just so sorry you had to go through such fear again."
"I shouldn't have run so far into the woods but I couldn't let them get me again. I begged Jason not to leave me alone but he did and I panicked. I'm sorry you had to look for me. I don't think I've done one thing right in the last three years. I don't even know what's right anymore, Patrick. I used to be full of strength and fire and independent. Now I'm like a shell of that woman. Who would want to be around somebody who is such a mess? Maybe that's why this happened. Maybe I'm just not worth saving."
He felt his chin quiver as he took her hands in his.
"Robin, I would have given everything I am to have saved you. I wish I had gotten my head out of my ass and found you. You deserved that. Our daughter deserved that. I should have found you. I'm so sorry."
She looked at him and saw the honesty behind his eyes and realized he was still soaking wet.
"You did."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You came for me. You found me and stayed with me. Carlos took me because of what I did to Sabrina and your son. You have every right to want me gone."
"No! Stop that," he said firmly. "Gabriel's death was not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of the psychos who were behind all of this. Carlos was a killer and Sabrina knew that. She needs help and I hope she gets it, but I don't care about anyone but you. I love you and I need you to believe me. I need you to believe that our history wasn't one sided. I will do whatever I can to show you that your faith in me was warranted. Even if you never let me into your heart again, I will be whatever I can to you. I need you and I love you."
She reached up and touched his cheek.
"I love you, too. I'm just scared. I need help to get myself back together. I don't want to rely on you and then," she stopped and looked down.
"And then I'll leave?" he added.
"Isn't that pathetic?" she asked. "I can't put that much pressure on you, Patrick. It's too much for you and it isn't who I am."
"You're wrong. That's what a relationship is. It's not real if the person isn't that vital to you. I was destroyed when I thought you were gone because my life was simply complete with you there. It's why I stopped our no commitment sex deal long ago. Do you remember that?"
She smiled.
"I got mad at you because you couldn't admit the truth. You were developing feeling for me."
He sat back and grinned.
"I was in so much trouble. You had me just where you wanted," he said.
"Oh really," she laughed. "Just where I wanted, huh?"
He smoothed his wet hair back and his dimples were deep when he smiled.
"Nobody has ever gotten to me like you. It's surreal, really. You looked at me and you saw everything. You saw my pain over losing my mom and the anger I had over my dad. You saw my worry about being vulnerable and you touched the part of my heart that I didn't think existed."
She moved closer and shook her head.
"Of course it existed. You are one of the most compassionate and tender men I have ever known. When the Monkey Virus hit, you thought of me before anyone else. You tried to get me to leave and you helped me through my dad coming back. You even got my favorite ice cream bars and that was a detail I didn't know you even saw. You made me happier than I have ever been. You took my burdens and my heart and you brought me to life. You looked at my HIV as a part of me but never all I was. You are a good man, Patrick. You are my hero."
He was ashamed.
"Not even close. I was terrible to you, Robin. I never let you talk about Stone or Jason without taking it as an affront to my own abilities as a man. I made you ashamed of your past and that's inexcusable. I cheated on you when I was insecure and I went after numerous women when I was nowhere near being over you- one of which I knew would just destroy you. I have very little to be proud of when it comes to how I've treated you, but I really hope I get the chance to change that."
"I want that too. I want to believe I'm enough for you. I don't want to live so alone anymore but I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing," she said and he saw her whole body shaking.
"Okay, we need to get you warmed up. The bath is probably cold now, but I can put a chair in the shower so you can sit."
She stopped him when he went to get up.
"No. You're just as wet as I am. Will you hold me in the shower? I want us to wear our underwear. Is that okay?"
He smiled.
"Of course."
He started the shower and took his clothes off, leaving his boxers on. He turned to help her and saw she was standing there in her bra and panties. His heart stopped when he saw the scars on her abdomen that weren't there before. He also saw her thighs were marked as well.
"I know. This is why I didn't want you to look at me. It's bad, isn't it?" she said and went to grab the robe.
"No, please," he said and walked to her. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You have always been my dream. I'm just so angry that you had to endure such torture. I want these animals to pay."
She looked at him and took his hand.
"Maybe tonight we could just stay in this moment?"
He helped her step into the tub and the water fell over them as she moved into his arms. He held her to him and relished the feeling of her body against his, even though they weren't naked. It was intimate and personal and it just felt like home.
Patrick took the soap and gently washed her hair before tenderly cleaning her body. He felt her hands on his chest as she steadied herself and when he looked at her, he saw the woman he adored.
"I've missed this so much," he said as he turned the water off.
"Me too," she said as he wrapped a towel around her. She walked out and he slung a towel over his hips before he went and grabbed the bag of things he bought.
"It wasn't much, but I got a pack of underwear and a t-shirt for you. We can have them do our laundry for tomorrow."
"It's perfect, thank you," she said.
"Okay. I'll change in the bathroom if you want to change out here."
She nodded and he grabbed his bag, which was still in the room and went into the bathroom.
Robin pulled the underwear on and the t-shirt, which she was swimming in, but it was clean and soft and she loved it. She was exhausted, but in a way, she felt better than she had in a long time.
Patrick knocked and opened the door a little.
"Are you decent?"
She smiled.
"Yes, come on out."
He walked out wearing an undershirt and shorts and he saw she was sitting on the couch.
"Shall we order some dinner?"
"Yeah. I took my meds earlier but I haven't eaten so I know I may be paying for that later. I'm so glad you thought of bringing them with you in your bag."
He shrugged.
"I know how important they are and I knew you would be worried. Mac brought them from his place and I just took them, praying I would find you."
She smiled as she looked at him.
"I prayed you would find me, too. All I could think about was you and Emma and I know we have so much to figure out, but I don't want to live in fear anymore. I need to find the adventure girl you fell in love with. The one who threw the machete at the snake in the Islands."
He paled at the phrase and she saw his expression change.
"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"
He felt like dirt. He had called Sam his adventure buddy and it was just one more thing he didn't recognize about himself.
"No, everything is fine."
She felt a little uncomfortable.
"Oh, okay."
"Robin, I just," he started and she smiled.
"It's fine, really. I'm going to rest for a bit and then I wanted to talk to you about Aaron's case."
He watched her curl up on the couch and he knew he had to tell her everything. He just didn't know how to face all his life had become. She wasn't the only one with demons from the past few years.
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