There probably isn't an Irwin on the planet that doesn't know about Mia Fernandez. If you don't know her name, the chances are you know what she looks like. Voted sexiest Irwin alive two years running and the youngest trainee Irwin ever at the age of twelve. You see, training to be an Irwin usually starts at around eighteen after you finish high school while Mia had already been out in the field for three years by that point. Rather a genius thing to do, all things considering.

Looking at Mia, you'd think she would have no weaknesses but if you looked at her file and remember that she is human after all, you'd know that she has only one true weakness; her boss. Louis Palmer – whom she gave the loving nickname of Sparky somewhere along the line. If you didn't know that, it's not hard to believe that she doesn't have any feelings or weaknesses at all. Hell, she didn't even flinch when her boyfriend died live on camera. She didn't hesitate in putting a bullet in his brain when he was bitten.

And now she's going to be the fourth and final member of our team. From what I can tell, this is going to end one of two ways; one or all of us dying horribly or her doing her job and saving our asses while painting her nails.

I'm hoping for the latter.

- Taken from Hail to the King,

the blog of Shaun Mason, April 29, 2039

I first became aware of the phenomenon that was Mia Fernandez three years ago, she'd already had a big following even then, but it wasn't until Buffy showed George and I clips of Mia's special and very specific skillset several months ago that I actually paid attention to her.

From watching her clips, and honestly, she was either the stupidest or the most insane Irwin I'd ever seen – perhaps a mixture of both. She'd always go out into the field alone with just cameras and a radio to tell her if the infected were around. Had to give her credit where it was due; she had some serious balls to do that. On top of that, she'd go out with no protective gear on. Decontamination must be one hell of a bitch for her.

Before we even considered to attempt to hire Mia, Buffy made sure to do a background check on her, searched everything we could to make sure that we would be hiring the right person and not an axe murderer.

Within twenty minutes, we discovered that Mia's own father – Archie Fernandez – was an Irwin, one of the first ones. He didn't blog much, only around fifty posts were ever found over an eight-year period that were officially made by him. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Mia's mother – Isabelle Fernandez – had a few posts, too but they were mostly about family life and her ranting about how hard it was to raise a new-born when the father was almost always busy. There were some pictures of the happy family and a series of videos that included Mia's first steps and birthdays.

From we could see, they really loved their daughter and were both completely devoted parents. Shame it had to all come to a bloody and gruesome end.

The last post we found was posted onto Archie's blog on June 15, 2022;

With deep regret and a heavy heart, I regret to inform all who follow this blog that Archie and his wife Isabelle passed away last night due to a car accident. It's believed that the car Archie was driving hit another car head-on at dangerous speeds; Archie died on impact and Isabelle was pronounced dead at the scene after she managed to escape the wreck but died from her injures.

Their beloved daughter Mia is safe and well; she was unharmed in the crash, thank god, and will soon be placed in foster care until we can find a more permanent home for her. Thank you for keeping us all in your prayers during this terrible time.

The most fucked up part of this whole discovery? Mia's mom was only twenty-two when she died – that was what made us a little sick inside, knowing that she was around the same age as we were. We all decided not to mention our findings to Mia, all of us agreeing that pissing off or upsetting the latest member of our team this early on wouldn't be the best idea.

After she accepted the job interview Buffy had arranged for her, we'd gotten word that Mia was driving to us instead of flying; which sounded like a dumb idea since it was an almost 26-hour car ride from her home in Oklahoma to Berkeley, but she insisted. She didn't trust anyone to handle her luggage other than herself or her boss and she had a long history of not playing well with others when it came to flying or any kind of authority that wasn't her boss. So, it seemed it was either her way, or the highway.

We agreed to meet at a local café a day or so before we were due to leave Berkley. Buffy would give her an impromptu interview, just to make sure she was right for the job before she'd be formally introduced to me and George – it was Buffy's idea and I couldn't lie, it was kind of a genius thing to do. Me and George were sitting at a table separate from Buffy, close enough to hear what was going on but far enough away to not make it obvious.

Word must've gotten out about her arrival because outside the café was swarming with paparazzi, most of them being men around my age. George glared at them through her glasses, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her coke.

"If this is going to happen every time we step outside, she's not gonna last long," she muttered, placing the can back onto the table.

I looked between her and the large window behind her, making sure that Mia hadn't arrived yet, sighing. "It won't be like this all the time, people are just excited to see her. Think of her like the female version of me."

"Yes, because one Shaun Mason isn't enough, now we need one with a pair of tits and a problem with authority."

I was about to answer her when the jeep I had seen over a hundred times over the past few weeks arrived just outside the café, causing the paparazzi to go into a frenzy. Their shouting almost becoming a deafening mixture of words – mostly consisting of "Mia" and "over here".

I watched as the driver's side door opened, and out stepped probably the most attractive woman I had ever laid eyes on. Sure, I had seen how attractive she was in her clips, but they didn't do her actual beauty any justice. Dressed in a simple white t-shirt and faded blue jeans with a brown leather jacket, it was a change from her usual vest and shorts, but she made it look like the sexiest thing on the planet.

She barely had any chance to walk towards the front door of the café before the paparazzi swarmed around her like a school of hungry piranhas around fresh meat, barely giving her any chance to move on her own without having a microphone or a camera in shoved her face. She must've been panicked but she never let it show; that was one of the worst things you could do in front of them, let them see that you're human and you have feelings. Once you do that, they move in for the kill and try everything they can to get a reaction out of you.

She removed her sunglasses and made direct eye contact with me for a split second, probably not realising who I was, a small smirk coming onto her lips before she turned her attention back to the paparazzi. "Boys, as much as I love and appreciate every single one of you; I have to love and leave you, I have a very important meeting to attend to."

I could tell the paparazzi were a little disappointed, but they let her go, finally allowing her to walk inside. Once she closed the door, she took a breath before she walked up to Buffy's table, a bright smile on her face as she offered a hand out towards Buffy. "Mia Fernandez, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Buffy placed the screen down on her laptop to shake Mia's hand, her smile only growing. "Buffy Meissonier, I'm a massive fan."

Mia's smile got bigger once Buffy admitted she was a fan, which usually would make me or George uncomfortable, but she seemed to take it all in stride and accept it. The pair of them sat down, facing each other and pretty much completely oblivious to George and I being so close to them. Well, Mia was, Buffy knew full well we were there.

"Just off the bat, I have to say, Mia, you do have a rather unusual name." Buffy said, opening her laptop once more to open up some files.

Mia shrugged, almost biting out a laugh. "My parents were Evil Dead fans; they were either going to name me Ashley or Mia, but they went with Mia because they thought it was unique... or something, I don't know. They died before I could ask them about it."

Buffy coughed awkwardly, nodding before she turned back to the files on her laptop in front of her to change the subject. "You've got quite the impressive resume here, Mia. On your own since the age of twelve, started in the field at the age of fifteen, became the youngest trainee Irwin in the country... you're more than qualified for this position. As explained in the email, we need you to be a bodyguard to the Masons and myself; your main priority will be to make sure that they're safe, be their shadow and don't get too involved."

Mia nodded, giving a slight salute. "Understood, ma'am."

Buffy offered her hand back to Mia, smiling brightly as she stood up once more. "Welcome to the team, Mia."

Mia stood up too, almost squealing with excitement as she shook Buffy's hand vigorously. "Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me."

I almost laughed at that. This girl was as hard as nails and could easily take down a zombie that was physically stronger and taller than she was, but there she was, acting like a small child waking up on their birthday and been told that they were going to get a puppy. It was almost adorable.

Buffy laughed softly as she watched Mia before she subtly raised her eyebrows towards George and I, indicating that it was time for us to formally meet Mia, now that she was officially part of our team.

I heard George sigh a little as she stood up, leaving her almost empty can of Coke on the table before turning towards the two girls and introducing herself to Mia, almost awkwardly. Mia greeted her with the same level of enthusiasm as she had when Buffy gave her the job, the smile and excited energy never leaving her for a single second.

Then it was my turn.

Mia turned her attention to me, her bright blue eyes fixated on mine. Any other guy would've looked away and blushed, but I knew what she was doing, hell, I did it myself – she was giving me the look usually saved for the reporters or fangirls. She probably wasn't aware that she was doing it, but I wasn't going to call her out for it – she was probably just excited.

I shook Mia's hand, smiling back at her. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mia."

I watched as Mia's cheeks flushed a tiny amount, but she quickly hid it as her hand dropped back to her side. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Shaun. I'm excited for this opportunity to work with you, I've been sort of obsessed with your blog for years so getting to finally work along side you is kind of a dream come true."

I couldn't help but chuckle a little to myself to see Mia geek out a little, it was kind of a refreshing way to see a fan – rather than being told how attractive I was or how badly they wanted to marry me, Mia actually focused on the blog itself, not just the person behind it. "Well, I hope we live up to your expectations."

Mia smiled, looking down at her feet as she did before looking back up to me. "Oh, trust me, you guys already have."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see George rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. I could tell that she wasn't impressed with the way Mia was acting but she didn't say anything, knowing she'd probably say something after Mia left. If she'd even say anything at all.

Even if she didn't directly say anything about Mia, I could tell that she wasn't overly keen on Mia already. But then again, it takes a lot to impress George. Perhaps after seeing Mia out in the field would be enough to impress her, but even then, that would be a stretch.

~#~

After our lunch meeting with Peter Ryman, Buffy and Mia almost sprinted out to the van and the truck, with me trailing behind. Despite only properly meeting less than twenty-four hours before hand, Mia and Buffy were practically best friends already, chatting excitedly about anything and everything while they were setting up cameras and the equipment in both our van and Mia's jeep, they both seemed to understand the technical side of things while George and I had no idea what they were even trying to explain.

Mia's stereo was playing an interesting mixture of pre-rising songs – definitely from long before our parent's times – loud enough so we could hear it and enjoy it, but quiet enough to not draw the entire undead population that may be around to come over for an all you can eat buffet. As much as I hated to admit it, the girl had taste when it came to music. It was an almost confusing mess of hard rock from the 1970's, depressingly danceable ballads from the 1980's and incomprehensible grunge from the 1990's. Yeah, definitely before our parent's times.

I watched as Mia was playing around with some of the wires and engine parts on her beloved jeep, she was leaning over the engine far enough that I could clearly see the black panties she was wearing under her far too short skirt. I had to admit, it wasn't a bad view. George cleared her throat loudly, nudging my arm with her elbow to stop me from staring.

Mia clearly hadn't noticed as she was still messing around with her jeep for a few more minutes before she stood up straight, placing down the hood of her jeep and securing it. She turned around, leaning against her car, an eyebrow raising as she smirked. "See something you like, Mason?"

I sighed, shaking my head to myself as I turned around towards Buffy and climbed into the van. This year is going to be one hell of a bitch.

Note

I'm praying I didn't butcher the perfection that is Shaun Mason in this. After this part, it'll skip forward to 2040 so it'll keep up with the book.

This was originally going to be chapter three, but since I had zero inspiration for the original chapter two, I decided to abandon it entirely and make this chapter two instead.

I don't really like the ending of this chapter, but I really wanted to get it done since it was driving me crazy for so long.

Until next time;

Lorna.