Chapter Forty-Three:
"She was okay? He found her?" Jason asked Sam after she hung up with Patrick.
Sam smiled and walked over to the bed where Jason sat in his boxers.
"They are together and she is okay. You can see her tomorrow."
"Okay, good," he said and looked at her. "I'm sorry if you were scared. I didn't know who this guy was, but I think he worked for Sonny's enemy. He was definitely trained to kill."
Sam sat down and took his hand.
"Sabrina and Carlos were together years ago. When he came to town, she was with Patrick and Carlos wanted her back. When Patrick was about to marry Sabrina, Robin came back and Sabrina was destroyed. She found out a week later she was pregnant."
"But she lost the baby?"
Sam sighed.
"It's a bit more complicated than that. Patrick found out she was pregnant and it was just after Robin was finally home. Victor came to see Robin a week later and told her about you. Robin made the choice to leave and Patrick was destroyed."
"What about her? Did he not think her walking in on her husband marrying another woman might destroy her? What about the idea of that woman being pregnant?"
Sam nodded.
"Of course it did, but he was angry. You need to understand that Patrick lost everything when he thought Robin was dead. He was in a very dark place and I can understand that. I know what it's like to think the love of your life is never coming back," she said and wiped her eyes.
Jason pulled her into his arms and held her.
"I'm sorry. I know how hard this has been for all of us and me talking about Robin isn't helping. I just hate that she lost everything to help me. I'm not worth that kind of sacrifice."
Sam stroked his cheek and looked into his blue eyes.
"You are. You are worth being saved and I will never be able to repay Robin enough for bringing you home to me. The situation is terrible and nothing can ever change what happened, but I think we all need to look to the future and begin to heal."
He ran his fingers through her long hair and nodded.
"I want that, too," he said and kissed her softly.
Sam smiled and could see he was still bothered by something.
"What is it?"
"Why would Sabrina blame Robin for her son's death?"
"Because Victor set up the accident that caused Sabrina to go into premature labor. Victor threatened Robin and he needed her to keep working, so he went after Patrick and Emma. He hired someone to run them off the road, but Sabrina was with them and the accident caused her to deliver early. The baby died a few weeks later."
Jason put his head in his hands and sighed.
"How did you find all of this out? Was it after Robin came back?"
Sam was uneasy rehashing all of this because it just made her realize how much they had missed.
Patrick hired me to help him find out who ran him off the road and we were finally led to the clinic where you were held, although I didn't now that. Patrick found Robin there and that's when she told him you were dead. She said she tried, but was unsuccessful."
"She lied because she was afraid of what Victor would do, right?"
Sam felt her eyes fill with tears.
"Yes, but Patrick didn't know that. He told her he was going through with the divorce because she wouldn't come home. We left and she stayed."
"She couldn't leave. How could he take her at her word in a situation like that?"
Sam shrugged.
"I don't know. I didn't even know he saw her until a long time after. It was all such a mess, Jason. I'm so sorry."
He shook his head and sighed.
"It's not your fault. I just hate that Robin lost everything to help me. I will never be okay with that."
Sam walked to the window and looked out. She turned to look at him after a minute.
"Is this something you can get past? Are you going to be able to be with me and not think of me being with Patrick?"
Jason walked to her and stroked her cheek.
"I want to live the life we planned and I want to be a father to our son. I want to be a family, Sam."
She leaned in and kissed him deeply.
"I want that, too," she said. "I just want you to know how much I love you and how I never stopped. I should have asked more questions. I should have pushed more, but I didn't. I couldn't allow myself to hope you were alive. I had to survive."
He gathered her in his arms and took her to bed.
"I love you and I think we will both survive together."
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Patrick sat in the bed and waited for Robin to come out of the bathroom. He knew how nervous she was and he hated how this was even an issue. When he thought of the torture she endured, his heart broke and his anger grew.
People needed to be brought to justice.
He also needed to talk to her about something she had said earlier.
She mentioned seeing Obrecht and it sent her into a panic. Patrick had deeply regretted staying to work for that lunatic and now that Robin was home, he knew he needed to push to get her removed. Robin deserved to come back to work and she certainly didn't need to be confronted with the woman who terrorized her. She was the catalyst for much of what Robin had been through and Patrick realized he didn't even know the extent of her involvement in Robin's captivity.
How could he work for her for so long?
"Hey, what's running through your mind?" Robin's voice broke through his daze as she stood there.
"Oh, sorry," he said and smiled. "Just thinking."
She sat on the couch and he raised his eyebrows at her.
"If you want me to hold you in bed, then you need to come to bed," he smiled.
She sighed.
"I think maybe this was a mistake."
He moved to sit closer to her and he chose his words carefully.
"Tell me what you're most afraid of."
She looked at him and her brown eyes were swimming.
"You."
"What?" he was floored. He didn't expect that.
She wiped her eyes and continued.
"If you hold me and I sleep through the night, what will happen tomorrow or the next day? What if I start to rely on you? What will happen if I can't do this alone?"
Relief flooded through him at her explanation.
"That's the trouble with your mind," he smiled when she glared at him. "You think twelve steps ahead and not one in front."
"I have to do that, Patrick. I can't allow myself to depend on anyone again."
He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head.
"That's such shit."
"No it isn't. I need to be strong again. I need to be a good role model for our daughter. I need to be able to sleep in a fucking bed like an adult," she said and angrily wiped her tears.
He walked to her and took her hands.
"If you were speaking to someone who had been through an assault and they came to you for advice, would you tell them to just get over it? Move on and never depend on anyone again? Stay alone forever because you might get hurt if you let someone in? The assault will be the standard by which your entire life is lived?"
She wiped the tears, which continued to spill over her cheeks.
"No, but I wasn't assaulted."
"Like hell you weren't," he said. "How did you get those marks on your body that weren't there before? How about the scars on your wrists from the chains? What about the fact that looking at a bed makes you want to vomit? What those men did was an assault and the fact you survived and can even be in the same room with me and not want to run screaming is a testament to your strength of character. I'm not insinuating it's a weakness, but you can't dismiss what you went through as nothing. It was something. You need to let me help you. Please don't bury this."
"Stop it," she said and went to grab a sheet to cover her more.
"No, I love you and you have got to stop minimizing what you went through. We all failed you. I failed you. This need you have to fix all of it is ridiculous. You are allowed to be angry and you are allowed to need help. It doesn't mean you're weak and it doesn't mean that you will always need the same help, but for God's sake, Robin, lean on someone. Let me know you're human. Let me see the woman I know who is strong because of the vulnerability you show. Let me help you, for once in our lives, let me be who you need."
"Okay," she cried, simply needing him to hold her. "Okay."
He walked to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her and walking them to the bed. He got in and she looked at him before she crawled in next to him, under the covers.
"Is it okay that I'm not wearing a shirt?"
"Yes," she said as she felt the familiar sense of comfort come over her.
"How about if I talk to you while you try to sleep?" he said softly.
She nodded and held her arms under her, against his body, her head on his chest.
He ran his fingers over her back and spoke to her.
"I remember the first time I ever saw you. I realize it was in a compromising situation, but that was sort of all I found myself in at the time. I mean, it's who I was, and I didn't really see anything wrong with it."
She ran her hand over his chest and her fingers danced across his torso. She inhaled and let out a shaky breath.
"But that changed the moment I saw the passion in your eyes and the strength in your voice. You didn't care about anything other than helping your patient and I saw so much of myself in that. I was intrigued in this hopeless case and after you brought up my father, then I had no choice."
Robin smiled at his rendition of everything. She remembers a few things differently.
"Okay, so maybe I wasn't overly excited at the prospect of helping Jason, but it turned into so much more than that. It turned into my life changing. I looked at you as someone who got me. You saw below the arrogance and the facade and you found the man I was inside. You saw the man my mom raised and the one who allowed himself to love. You showed me courage and grace and you gave me a chance to believe that I could be more than what I was."
He felt her breathing slow and he knew she was falling asleep.
"You gave me a life, Robin. You gave me a home and you gave me a purpose. I lost that along the way recently, but I want it back. I want you back and I am going to fight for you; for us," he said and looked at her, but she was asleep.
He held her to him and was transported back to the numerous times he held her over the years. No body fit against his like hers did. No woman had ever ignited the fire within that she had.
He truly hadn't been complete without her. He knew that and now, holding her in his arms, he truly understood what it meant to have a soul mate. He knew why his father fell apart after his mother died.
Patrick may not have left town, but he fell apart just the same. He became someone he wasn't proud of and someone he didn't like.
"No, please don't hurt me," she began to whimper and he moved a little, stroking her back and he felt her tighten her hold on him.
"I'm here and you can do this. You can do anything," he said softly as she began to quiet down.
"I want to go home. I love my husband and I miss him. I need my daughter. Please," she spoke in her sleep and he could feel her tears falling onto him from behind her closed lids.
He didn't anticipate having to hear her relive the terror in her sleep.
He didn't anticipate what this would do to him.
He never could have anticipated the next words out of her mouth.
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