Chapter 5.
Doctor.
Once we got back to the Sanctuary, Negan went off with Amber, one of his other young wives. She is very pretty, with her long blonde hair and slender frame. But then again, all of his wives are beautiful. I am relaxing in my room in my room, enjoying some time to myself.
No Negan.
No Frankie.
No Tina.
Just me.
Alone with my thoughts.
Although, right now, I don't even wanna be alone with my own thoughts. But I don't want to be alone, either. I want someone who will just sit with me and do nothing. Just lay with me and cuddle. Maybe talk if I really need it. But I know my, so called, husband won't do that and even if I could get them to, he wouldn't really want to.
As I begin to think of my failing relationship and the fact there is no reasonable way out of it, besides literally going to the workhouse, or just leaving. I shake my head as the idea of running away pops into my head. No, I couldn't do that, not to the people who care about me here. Not only that but I'm sure Negan would find a way to make it look like someone helped me escape.
As I think about that an idea comes to mind. I wonder what they did with the man Negan took after he killed those two men. Maybe he can help me get out of here and Negan would just hate me for helping him escape. Or he'd think he kidnapped me and it would make everything worse. I shake my head violently before burying my head into my pillow. After a few minutes of crying I sit up and wipe my face.
"I still need to go see Dr Carson."
I take a few deep breaths and stand up. Heading my mirror to make sure I look alright and grabbing my cardigan, before heading out. As I walk down the halls to Dr Carson's office, I see a door with a few of Negan's higher up saviors around the door. When I see the men, I realize that must be where they're keeping the man from Rick's group.
Once I get to Dr Carson's office I knock on the open door. Peaking my head inside, when I hear two familiar voices coming from behind the curtained off area. When they come out from behind the curtain, I realize it's Sherry and Dr Carson. They must be finishing up at exam or something like that, probably a pregnancy test if I had to guess. As Sherry turns to me, she gives me a sad, weak smile, the same we all share with each other if we aren't by ourselves. I never really thought of it before, but while all of the wives get along and are friends, we never really act like it outside of the house, or with Negan around. As I'm off in thought Dr Carson calls out to me, bringing me back into reality.
"What can I help you with, (y/n)?"
I smile softly and place a hand on my upper stomach.
"I haven't been feeling well these past few days and just wanna make sure everything's alright."
Dr Carson nods, almost as if he understands the underlying meaning of everything in this situation. While I would love to be a mother again and be able to raise a baby and watch them grow up, as I grow old. This isn't the world to do it in. Nor is Negan the man to do it with, or he isn't anymore. Maybe if he were still the man I meet those years ago, but he isn't, not anymore.
"Alright, (y/n). Hop up here on the table and I'll make sure everything is as it should be."
I nod and sit on the examining bed Dr Carson has. As he grabs his stethoscope and places it on my back, he starts to ask the normal questions, while I take a few deep breaths.
"How often to you and your husband have intercourse?"
"About once a week, maybe twice."
He moves the the stethoscope around my back, before leaning up and looking at me.
"Have you had any nausea or cramps?"
"Uhh.. I've been a little nausea, but no cramping or anything like that."
"Alright. Can you lay back for me please?"
I lay back on the bed, before he starts to light push around my stomach.
"Let me know if you have my tenderness."
As he pushes around I lay still, not feeling anything other than him pushing on my stomach. Once he is done I sit up.
"Alright, I think it's just a cold bug that's going around the camp. But it'd like for you to take this pregnancy test, just to make sure."
I nod as he hands me a pregnancy test and pats my back lightly, as I get up and we walk over to the door.
"Is everything else alright?"
I look up at Dr Carson rather confused.
"I'm sorry?"
"Are you doing alright mentally? It may just be my imagination, but you've seemed a little down recently."
"Just stressed I think. Whenever Negan takes over a new community, I have to put on the act of 'first lady.'"
Just then I hear someone speak from behind me. When I hear them I feel a sense of calm come over me, and I feel more relaxed then I have it a while.
"And what a fabulous first lady she is."
When I turn around, I see Simon standing in the doorway of Dr Carson's office. I smile softly as my eyes meet his, quickly hiding the test behind my back. I don't want anyone to know about this if they don't have to.
"Did you just get back?"
He nods and steps toward me.
"Yeah, and my first order when I got back was to check in with Dr Carson to make sure you'd seen him today. But it seems like I have my answer."
I sigh softly, slightly happy realizing that means I probably won't see Negan today, but kind of pissed he can't take his own time to come check on me.
"Yeah, I should probably head back to the house."
"Mind if I walk with you?"
I shake my head as I step out of Dr Carson's office. Sliding the test into one of the pockets of my cardigan.
"Not at all, I'd enjoy the company."
The two of us walk down the halls of the factory, before Simon and I start talking. Since we don't get to talk to each other much, we enjoy each other's company as much as we can.
"Just get back from Hilltop, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah, but Gregory seems to be losing control of his people."
"Well, maybe Negan should send someone who knows how to strike fear into them."
"Yeah, maybe he should."
We laugh as I make a bad joke. As we get into the small courtyard between the workers area and the house, I look up at the sky.
"Do you really think you're just stressed?"
"Huh?"
"I heard you tell Dr. Carson that you were stressed and takes why you've seemed down and kind of with drawn."
"Oh, I don't know. I think I just miss Fee. Plus, it doesn't really help that I didn't have anyone to talk to about her."
"I'm always here. You know that right?"
I look over at him a little surprised, but I nod.
"I do now."
I chuckle softly and shake my head.
"If you need to talk about anything. I'll be more than happy to talk to you about it."
I smile over at him. I feel as if so much weight as been lifted from my shoulders, just from that comment.
"Thanks, Simon."
"No problem."
When we get to the door of the house, I turn to him and smile.
"Well, I'll see you later."
"Yeah, I'll see ya later. Stay safe, dollface."