Chapter Forty-Four:
Patrick lay there and stared at the ceiling, his tears fell and he made no move to stop them.
He deserved to hear her torment. He deserved to be punished.
She deserved to feel whole again.
He couldn't get her words out of his mind and he was struggling with how to handle everything she had endured.
"NO!" she yelled and sat up.
Patrick jumped and sat up with her.
"Hey, it's okay," he said and she put her head in her hands.
He pulled her to him and she turned, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest.
"I'm here and you're going to be okay," he said, feeling the hollowness of his words.
"I'm sorry," she said as she sat back and wiped her eyes. "I'm going to sleep on the couch."
He turned the lights on and she looked at him.
"Can you tell me what your nightmare was about?"
She sniffed and then sighed.
"That's the problem. I don't remember. I sleep each night and I wake up with this sick feeling in my stomach and I can't remember what my dreams were about. It doesn't happen as much when I sleep on the couch and I think it's because I was tied to the bed for so long. I don't want to keep you up, so I'll just sleep on the couch."
He realized she didn't know what she had said during her sleep.
"You talk about things while you're asleep. You never did that before."
She looked at him and moved a little.
"What do you mean 'things'? What did I say?"
He sighed and she took his hand.
"Patrick? Please tell me. Maybe it will help me to sleep if I know what's on my mind."
"I don't know. It didn't make a lot of sense and I probably misheard some things."
She turned so she was facing him and he knew that look. He wasn't going to get out of this one.
"I need for you to tell me what you heard. I need to be able to get past this block."
"But what if it makes things worse? What if you hate me more than you already do?"
"What? I don't hate you," she said and watched as he got up and paced. "Patrick? What's going on?"
"They told you I knew you were in trouble and I didn't care. You didn't believe them until they told you Jason was home and I never cared to find you."
"What? I didn't know he was home," she said and stopped.
"You did," he said.
Memories came flooding back to her.
"I left him off at Sonny's and then I went to my mom, but Helena took me. I remember waiting for Jason to tell you or my mom that I was in trouble. I figured he would know I needed help if I didn't come home," she remembered as she spoke.
Patrick nodded.
"You told the captors that as soon as Jason talked to me, I would come for you."
"Right," she smiled. "I remember resisting everything they did because I knew you would help me. I knew, no matter how angry you were with me, you wouldn't ignore a direct cry for help. I knew you would come for me."
Patrick felt his eyes fill with tears.
"And then I didn't."
"But Jason was in an accident. I didn't know that, but it made sense now that I know. I mean, you didn't know he was Jason and you were starting a relationship with Sam, so I wasn't on your mind," she rambled and he turned to her.
"Stop saying that! Stop making excuses for me. You thought I would come and I didn't. I knew you were in trouble. I heard it on your skype message and I ignored it. I didn't come and because of that, you were made to believe that you weren't worth it. You thought I would rather have you left to those kidnapping pigs than be with you again. You believed I chose Sam over you and they made you think I was happy you were out of my way."
Robin was stunned but she shook her head.
"No way. I would never think that, Patrick. How could you even think I would?"
"Because of what you said. You were so sure I would come for you and they rubbed it in your face until you finally broke. You endured torture because you were holding out hope that we would find you and when we didn't, you were hurt more than you have been able to verbalize."
"What did I say?" she asked as she walked to him.
"I need some air," he said and went to leave but she grabbed his arm.
"What did I say?" she demanded.
He looked at her and a tear fell out of his eye.
"You repeated something I told you."
She was quiet and then the memories began.
XXXXX
"Your husband isn't coming. He divorced you and now you're free. There is no reason to resist me anymore," the man who stood by her bed each night said to her.
"Patrick will come for me and there is nothing you can say that will make me stop believing in him. You don't understand what we have together. He is furious with me, but he would never let me suffer knowing he could help," Robin said and tried to cover herself more with the blanket even though she was in her underwear underneath. He had been trying to get her to have sex with him every night, and the more she objected, the angrier he got. The man who held her had forbidden anyone from touching her without his permission, but he was getting increasingly violent with her and she was terrified he was going to rape her
"You know, for a brilliant researcher, you really are stupid. Your doctor hubby has moved on and he is happy. He is working with Dr. Obrecht and he knows she was responsible for your torture. If he loved you as you say he does, how could he do that?"
Robin shook her head.
"No, he has a contract. He couldn't just walk away."
The man laughed.
"Really? Why? His career was more important to him, that's why. He could get a lawyer and sue the hospital for allowing her to be there and instead, he threw you under the bus and then got mad at you when you wanted to leave and help a friend. He doesn't deserve someone like you," he said and ran his hand over her breast.
"Stop it! Don't touch me!" she screamed.
"Nobody else will ever touch you again. Patrick doesn't want you. He knows you're in trouble and he doesn't care. Nobody cares about you anymore. When you told him you were broken, did he come? Did your super spy mother come? No, none of them did because you're worthless to them. You are a diseased waste and they are happy to be rid of you. You're lucky I even want you."
Robin hated that her tears fell and she shook her head.
"You're wrong. I will never believe you."
"How about if I tell you what Patrick said about you?"
"What are you talking about? You never spoke to him."
The man sneered at her.
"But I did. I went to GH as a patient to check him out. I told him I was HIV positive and he refused to treat me. I also told him I came to see him because of his work with HIV patients and his ability to help. He told me he wouldn't ever help anyone like his wife again."
"You're so full of shit. Patrick would never say anything like that. He helps anyone who needs it."
"Like you? His wife?"
Robin sighed.
"I don't even know why I bother. You're wrong and I don't care what else you have to say."
"Does the phrase 'beyond reason' mean anything to you?"
Robin paled and looked at him.
The man grinned.
"I thought so. He said he made a mistake. He told me to go the Stone Cates wing and find someone who cares, because he doesn't. He said he was through and then he smiled and told me that it felt like such a relief to be over you, beyond reason."
Robin shook her head and felt dead inside. How would he know that phrase if Patrick didn't tell him? She didn't even acknowledge the fact he had taken the blanket off and then took his own clothes off.
She stopped feeling anything. She stopped caring. She was dead inside.
XXXX
"Robin? You're scaring me!" Patrick said as he held her by her shoulders as she zoned out.
"Beyond reason," she said as she blinked and looked at him. "You took it back?"
"You remembered what you said in your sleep?"
"They knew the phrase you said to me. They told me you didn't want me anymore and that you were disgusted by me and my HIV."
"You can't believe that," he said and cupped her face in his hands. "Please tell me you know I would never say that."
She nodded.
"I'm tired," she turned and walked to the couch.
"What did they do to you?"
She sat down and looked at him.
"Goodnight Patrick."
"Please talk to me," he cried as she pulled the blanket over her.
"I was raped," she said matter of factly and turned away from him.