Chapter 6
Don't Let It Be So.
I didn't sleep at all last night, my mind kept switching from how amazing it would be to have another child and how horrible it would be if that child grew up with Negan as a father. Even though he was amazing with Fee, he's nothing like the man I met all those years ago. It seems as though that thought keeps coming to mind. I loved him, but do I still love him. This thought comes into my head when I hear a knock at my door. As I sit up I call out.
"Come in."
When the door opens, in walks Negan. Sadly, I was hoping it would be anyone else. I could really use one of Frankie and Tina's pep talks right about now. He smiles at me with the same charming smile he gives everyone.
"Good morning, darling. How are you?"
I shrug, as he walks over to the bed and sits beside me.
"I'm alright, I guess. Not feeling to great."
"Still? Well, what did that dear old doc say?"
"He said he thinks it's probably a stomach bug. But he wants me to take a pregnancy test to make sure."
Once I realize I just told him about the test, I freeze. When I look over at Negan, his expression is a mixed of shock, surprisement, and happiness. Once he takes a deep breath his expression softens.
"Do you mean to tell me, I'm going to be a daddy?"
I almost cringe when I hear him say 'Daddy,' before nodding.
"Yeah."
He jumps up and runs over to me, picking me up when he gets to me. Swinging me around and giving me a passionate kiss, as he puts me down.
"When did you find out?"
"I haven't even taken the test yet."
"Oh, well you'd better take that as soon as possible then."
I nod.
"I was going to this morning."
"Well, then I'll leave you alone. Come find me as soon as you find out."
He kisses my forehead, placing his hands on the sides of my head, before he leaves. Not soon after he does, I grab my cardigan and sneak my way out of the house and over to the savior housing. I need to talk to Simon about this, he's the only who can give me an unbiased conversation about this situation. When I get to what should be his room I knock on the door. When Simon opens the door he is naturally surprised to see me.
"(Y/N), Hi… um... Come in, before someone sees you out here."
He hurries me into his room, knowing both of us will be in trouble if I get caught. Once I get into the room he gestures toward the chair in his room and I sit in the recliner as he sits on the edge of his bed.
"Is everything okay?'
I can't contain myself and start crying as I shake my head.
"No…"
"Hey, hey, what's wrong."
Simon reaches out and places his hand on my knee.
"I lied yesterday, everything's not fine, and Dr Carson thinks it could be something other than a bug."
Simon looks at my a little confused.
"Dr Carson thinks I could be pregnant."
The look on his face goes from confused to shocked, and for some reason a little less then happy.
"I can't be pregnant! I can't have a baby right now!"
Simon has almost frozen after hearing that news, while I'm still balling like a baby, with my head buried in my hands. After a little while I calm down and Simon comes back to his senses.
"Does Negan know?"
"He knows there's a change. I can't get up the courage to take the test Dr Carson gave me."
Simon nods, as I stand, shaking my head.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I came here."
As I start to leave Simon grabs my hand, when I look back he is standing, almost lunging after me. I know I had a confused and surprised look on my face.
"Please, don't go."
He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my back and gently squeezing me. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest. I haven't felt this comfortable in a long time. Feeling his warmth and the amount of love in this one hug, allows me to relax more than I've been able to in a long time. Knowing I've never felt this feeling with Negan, even before he became the monster he is now, I begin to cry again. As I do, Simon moves a hand to my head and begins softly stroking my hair.
"I can't be pregnant, I just can't."
"Shhh.. hey, let's not think about that right now, okay?"
I nod and bury myself further into his chest. How did I get so lucky to have someone like Simon, in my life.
"Why couldn't I have meet you sooner?"
I find myself thinking out loud. Once I realize what I said I pull away from Simon, slightly. His arms still tightly around me, but allowing me to move as freely as I want. He gives me a confused and amused look, while I'm still in shock over what just came out of my mouth.
"I don't know, why you didn't. But I wish I had."
I look at him a little more surprised than shocked now, before I know it Simon has moved the hand he had on my head to the back of my neck and moves in close to me. Giving me a passionate and loving kiss. As he does, I close my eyes, still feeling my tears rolling down my cheeks. Before I know it, my arms are wrapped around his neck and we are sharing in a long passionate kiss. After a few long moments he pulls away, resting his forehead on mine. I can feel my cheeks turning red.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."