Chapter Forty-Five:
Patrick sat up all night and watched Robin sleeping on the couch. He couldn't get the words out of his head.
"I think I was raped."
He almost threw up a few times as he sat in the darkness and let his mind wander to what she had gone through while he moved on, again.
They were on their way back to the hospital the next morning to see Aaron and Mark. When she woke up, she refused to talk to him about anything and had effectively shut down, bringing them back to square one. She wanted him to look at Aaron's chart, so he promised to do that. Jason was going to come by to speak with her, too.
He didn't know what to do and he was worried the more he pushed, the more she would build her walls.
"If you can't help him, don't give him any false hope on my account," she said as they were walking to the room.
He looked at her and shook his head.
"I don't do that with medicine and you know it. If I can help him, then I will. If not, then I'll tell him that."
Robin nodded.
"I know."
He sighed and followed her to the room.
"Dr. Robin?" Aaron asked as she walked in. Mark was asleep on the chair and he jumped when Aaron spoke.
"Hi buddy," she said and her face was pure happiness. Patrick always marveled at how she could mask her emotions when it came to seeing patients. She could put them at ease no matter what state of mind she was in.
Mark sat up and wiped his face.
"Sorry. I guessed I dozed off," he smiled and Aaron grinned.
"The nurses came in to see if I was okay because of your snoring."
The adults laughed and Mark shrugged.
"What can I say?"
Robin looked at Patrick and nodded.
"Aaron, is it okay if Dr. Patrick examines you while your dad and I take a walk?"
"Sure! I like him, so it's fine."
Patrick chuckled and looked at Mark.
"Just give me a few minutes."
"Okay," he said and kissed Aaron on the forehead before he walked out with Robin.
Patrick looked at the little boy who was Emma's age and he felt his heart break. He was so very lucky that she was healthy and happy. He asked Aaron some questions and tried to ignore the notices all over the room of the precautions. He thought back to what Robin said in her sleep and then when she told him what the man had said about him being disgusted by her HIV. He sighed and Aaron touched his hand.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Patrick looked at the nine year old and smiled.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm pretty observant. I stayed with my grandma and aunt for a long time while daddy was working and they taught me to listen to the silence. You can learn a lot about a person by their non-verbals. Your non-verbals are sad and I think you have a lot on your mind. I also wonder if it has to do with Dr. Robin. I am a good listener, you know, man to man."
Patrick pulled up a chair and continued his exam.
"Is that right? Man to man?"
Aaron grinned.
"I may be young, but I know things."
"I'll bet you do," Patrick said as he checked Aaron's reflexes. He did a few more things and then wrote down some numbers.
"So you can't help me, can you?"
Patrick sighed and looked at him.
"Why do you say that?"
"I have a very bad disease and it can't be fixed. My daddy tried to explain it to me, but he uses a lot of euphemisms. I learned that word and I like it because it means that he is trying to be nice, but I am in bad shape. I know you're a good doctor, but sometimes even a good doctor can't fix everything."
Shit. Why was this kid so smart?
Patrick put the chart down and looked at Aaron.
"You're right. You have a very bad disease and it can't be fixed. That doesn't mean you have no other options."
Aaron tried to follow.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, think about it this way. Have you ever had a favorite toy, like maybe a sports car?"
Aaron perked up.
"Totally! I love my hot wheels. I know they are old, but daddy gave them to me and we have a huge track all over the house. He said when you're a bachelor and live in a bachelor pad; you can have toys like that. We're both bachelor's, so we made the best track ever."
Patrick laughed.
"He's right. Have you ever had a car that didn't work right? Maybe it had a defective wheel or a door broke off?"
Aaron nodded.
"Did you just throw them out?"
"I might have, but daddy wouldn't let me. He said they were too valuable."
Patrick smiled.
"Exactly. You are too valuable to just give up. So there is a part that isn't working right. It doesn't mean that we have nothing to do to help you. I can't make your disease go away, but I might be able to stop some of the bad parts from hurting you. Just because we can't do everything doesn't mean we can't do anything."
Aaron was quiet for a minute.
"Will it hurt?"
Patrick nodded.
"Maybe a little, but only because we need to cut some of your hair off. Will that bother you?"
Aaron shook his head.
"Nope. I love wearing hats."
"Then no pain. I need to talk to your daddy for a minute, but then we can talk some more if you want, okay?"
They looked up as Robin and Mark came in and Aaron smiled.
"I like him. He's a straight shooter."
Robin smiled a tiny smile but didn't meet Patrick's gaze.
"That's what I hear," Mark said as he walked over.
"Robin? Can we talk?" Jason walked to the room and saw them.
Patrick felt a twinge of jealousy when she nodded and went with him while Patrick turned to focus on Aaron.
This little boy deserved his very best.
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Jason and Robin walked to an empty conference room and sat down.
"How are you? Are you doing okay?" he asked her.
"I'm fine. I'm sorry if you were worried, but I'm really okay. Are you?" she smiled, trying to mask her tears. She just wanted to go home and be alone.
"I'm fine. I need to apologize for leaving you alone. I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry."
Robin stood up and rubbed her arms.
"I can take care of myself. Is there anything else? I need to go home."
Jason sighed and rubbed his forehead.
"Talk to me, please. I can tell you're upset and I want to help."
Robin took a deep breath and exhaled.
"I'm just tired, okay? It was a long day yesterday and I really need to relax."
"Did Patrick help you at all last night?"
Robin looked at him and sighed.
"I appreciate your concern but I'm not your problem. I'm heading to my apartment, but I'll call you if I need anything."
Jason stood up.
"At least let me drive you."
"My Uncle Mac is going to drive me, so you don't need to. He is waiting for me."
"I'll walk you out and I'm not taking no for an answer."
Robin nodded and they left.
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"What do you mean she left? Why didn't you tell me?" Patrick yelled when he ran into Jason as he was looking for Robin.
"She was adamant that she wanted to be alone. Mac picked her up and took her. I made sure it was him."
Sam walked up and looked at them.
"I could hear you both all the way down the hall. What's going on?"
Patrick grabbed his phone and called her, but she didn't pick up.
"She said she was going to her apartment and she wanted to be alone. I think she's really bothered by what happened but she wasn't talking. Maybe she just needs some space?"
"She doesn't need to be alone. She needs help," Patrick said. "Excuse me," he turned to leave.
"Patrick, wait," Sam said.
"What?"
"Maybe she just needs to be alone?"
He looked from Jason to Sam and shrugged.
"I think she's been alone enough," he turned and left.
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Robin closed and locked the door to her apartment after Mac dropped her off. She looked at her phone and saw two missed calls from Patrick. She knew Emma was okay because Mac had just dropped her off at school, so she felt comfortable that there wasn't anything wrong.
She just needed to process everything.
The past few days were a blur and when she finally sat down to think, she felt like the weight of the word was on her shoulders.
Shaking her head, she went into the master bedroom and took her clothes off before she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She stepped under the stream and took her soap, scrubbing her body until it was almost raw.
What did they do to her?
Why?
She washed her hair and felt dizzy, so she held onto the bar and took a few breaths.
She was raped.
She turned the water off and grabbed her robe, putting it on before walking to her bed and taking the blanket off. She took her pillow and put it on the floor, lying down, her hair and body still wet and she curled up in a ball, finally letting her tears come as she felt the weight of all that happened fall on her.
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