Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars in any way, shape, or form.

WARNING: This one contains some graphic imagery.

~Insane in the Brain~

He paced around his little room, his legs long enough to make the entire length of it in only a few strides, his restless glare giving him an almost predatory look. But she knew better. Leia knew the anxiety that hid behind his narrowed eyes, between the fingers laced together behind his back. He still hadn't acknowledged her. He hadn't initiated a conversation with her in years, and it hurt. Not to say that he didn't speak to her period; she hadn't raised Ben to be rude, after all. She cleared her throat. 'Besides, he would never shut me out entirely, would he?' He didn't even glance up.

She remembered the day he was brought here, how painful it was to have to call the cops and watch as they muzzled and cuffed her only son before shoving him in the back of a police car. Han's dog, Chewie, had been on edge the entire evening before she'd made the phone call. There wasn't a moment where he didn't have his hackles up, and as far as she could tell, he hadn't stopped growling until Ben was dragged out.

"I, uh, I brought you some CDs? I know how much-" His head snapped up and his mouth twisted bitterly.

"You know they won't allow them."

"I know, I just thought that, maybe-"

"Maybe what?" Ben stalked up to the glass wall separating them. "That maybe I would enjoy looking at them while you were here? That maybe you could shame me again about my terrible life choices?" She blinked, not surprised but still somehow taken aback by his response.

"N-no, no, honey, I-I would never-" He huffed and turned away, rolling his eyes. She took a deep breath. "Look I'm trying the best I can, I-"

"Tch. That would be a first." This wasn't the first time he'd expressed malcontent about such things, but he'd never been quite so snippy about it, before.

Leia knew from the start that that dinner wasn't going to be a pleasant one. She had cautioned Han against it, but the man was stubborn, and he wanted to know his son better. He'd believed that Ben would need a new father figure in his life since Anakin had died. And since he'd thrown all of his support behind the opposing candidate, Snoke, at the end of his own political career, thereby cutting his daughter off from his network, Han figured that them being together no longer threatened her public image. He'd strolled in the door with that old dog at his heels and insisted that he was a better man, that he would be there for her and for Ben, whether they liked it or not. And so she'd sent him off in his bush plane to fetch the young man from boarding school in Anchorage, as they were living in Juneau at the time.

"Look, that school was the best I could afford for you! What is with this-"

"I don't give a shit about the school." Ben turned around. "It's you I have the problem with!" Leia blinked and she felt her chest tighten and her throat constrict. As glad as she was to know that he was finally listening to the psychologists and opening up, some part of her would have preferred not to bear the brunt of his anger, whether or not it was justified. "You never cared about me or what I wanted!" His voice almost dropped to a hiss and he blinked rapidly. "Let's face it, mother, you only sent me to that boarding school because you wanted to be rid of me." She shook her head adamantly and put her hands on the glass, trying to hold his gaze despite the sting. "You were always ashamed of me and you still are!"

"You're wrong, Ben, I love you, and I always have! How could I ever be ashamed of you?" He thumped the glass in frustration, causing her to jump a little.

"Then why did you put me here?" At a loss for words, she simply stared for a moment. He scoffed and turned his back again. Her hands balled into fists against the pane as she thought carefully about what to say. She began to shake her head again.

By the time she'd gotten home, late, exhausted and uncertain about what the night ahead may hold for her, Ben already had food on a table set for two, and was more than halfway into his portion. Something wasn't right, and when she came near him to give him a hug, Chewie had nearly knocked her over pressing into her legs and wouldn't let her within a certain distance of him. She'd asked where Han was, only to be told that he would be there for dinner, and so she sat down uneasily to her plate of what looked to be caribou steak. When he picked up his fork again, she noticed that his hands were covered in bite marks.

"I just, I couldn't bear to see you put on trial. I couldn't let them ruin your life like that!" He crossed his arms.

"Oh, and so you thought throwing me into an asylum would be better, huh?" He whipped around and put his hands on his hips, a mocking smile on his face. "I have an idea, let's throw my freak of a son into the nuthouse! That way there's no chance he could ever ruin my political career again! I can take away everything he ever enjoyed and get rid of him in one fell swoop! Maybe they'll even sympathize when I tell them that he's mentally ill!"

"That is not why you're here and you know it!" His hair had gotten longer since she'd seen him last, and the curls were being pulled straight from all the time he spent running his hands through it like he was now.

After about ten minutes, she couldn't stand the strained silence anymore and had demanded to know where Han was. He may not have been the most reputable man, but he had never been late whenever she was involved, besides, she had seen his boots by the door on her way in. Ben didn't meet her gaze, but simply got up and, taking his empty plate with him, went into the kitchen where she heard him begin cleaning dishes. Following him in, she couldn't recall whether or not she had screamed at the sight that awaited her.

"Oh I know why I'm here; the only thing I don't understand is why you aren't in here with me." Incredulous, she stared at him.

There Han's body lay, stripped, dismembered, with blood pooled and smeared across the dark tiles. Off to one side there was a pile of skin, bone and sinew where the flesh had clearly been stripped off. Horrifying realizations crashed down on her and she couldn't keep herself from collapsing on the floor and vomiting.

"I didn't raise you to be a monster." He slammed against the glass, nearly pressing his face into the pane as seething rage poured from his eyes.

"YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME!" Leia never flinched, having grown accustomed to his temper tantrums. Ben threw up his hands and went to go lay down on his bed. After spending the rest of the day's visitation hours trying to illicit another response from the 17-year-old, she gave up. Leia left, having to bite back tears as she was escorted out.