Chapter Fifty-Four:
Robin watched as Patrick went to leave and she stood up, pulling on her robe.
"Wait."
He turned and sighed, looking at her and shaking his head.
"No. I can't keep going back and forth with this, Robin. I fucked up. We both agree on that and I have no explanation to why I allowed Jerry to walk away. I had no idea he had you, but I also never asked. I helped Sam because we thought Luke was being held hostage. We actually thought Luke was behind the car accident that killed Gabriel, but he wasn't. We went to get answers for the accident and to help Tracy find Luke. Jerry wouldn't help us unless we gave him ELQ shares and Tracy was desperate. We went to help her and that was all."
"Why would Luke be responsible?"
"Because Spencer Cassadine told us. Luke took him aside and threatened Emma and Spencer was worried the accident was because of that."
Robin shook her head.
"That's absurd. Luke would never go after anyone I love."
Patrick sighed.
"Luke was not himself. He was suffering from a mental break of some sort. We didn't know that while we were there. We didn't understand any of it. Sam and I were trying to find answers."
Robin was quiet for a minute.
"Did you share a room?"
"Yes."
Robin felt more of her heart tear away.
"A bed?"
"We shared a bed and we kissed, but we didn't have sex."
"Okay," she said and went to sit down on the couch. "Is Luke okay?"
"It's a long story, but he was rescued. He had a break from reality and was walking around town as another person. He is getting help now."
Robin shook her head at just how much she missed.
"Did Jerry ever have him?"
Patrick realized he didn't know everything that had happened.
"I don't think so. I think Helena had something to do with it, but I don't know for sure. When we came back home, Jake or Jason showed up and Faison was here and then the truth about you leaving to help Jason came out and Sam was furious with me."
"Was that when the clinic exploded?"
Patrick sat down and sighed.
"Sort of. Jake appeared right after the explosion. Anna and I called you the same day and you answered."
"Helena was sitting right next to me during that call," she said and remembered it like it was yesterday.
"I didn't," he began.
"You didn't know. I know," she said and rubbed her forehead.
"There has to be a way to move passed this, Robin. I can't change what happened and I can't make it better. I don't know how many more ways I can apologize."
"I know. I just need to know it all, Patrick. I can't handle more surprises. I need to have all of the information."
He looked at his hands and then looked at her.
"I don't know what else to tell you. I don't think there's anything else but I don't know. What do you want to know?"
She looked at his hands and then her brown eyes met his.
"When did you take off your ring?"
He sighed.
"When I filed the papers."
She blinked and her tears fell.
"Why did you decide to divorce me? Why didn't you wait for me?"
He knew that was the heart of the issue.
"Because I felt betrayed. I felt like you left to punish me and I couldn't handle that. I felt like I wasn't enough, like I have never been enough for you."
"What? Why would you think that?" she asked.
"Because you never trusted me with the hard stuff. You hid your health issues and you let me think you were in love with Nikolas. You lied when Victor came after you and I would have done anything to help you but you turned me away. You went with him when we both knew there was a chance this would end up being so much more than what you thought. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't watch you choose someone else again."
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm truly sorry you felt that way."
He sat there and she sat there and they were both exhausted.
"I'm going to head home. I don't know what else to do."
She nodded.
"Okay."
He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to keep walking away, but he was at a loss.
He got up and walked to the door and she went to the bedroom, not wanting to watch him leave. She felt her head begin to throb and she turned to get some Tylenol when she tripped over the blanket on the floor and smacked her side against the wall, she cried out in pain as she fell to the floor.
Patrick heard her cry and ran back to the room, seeing her on the floor.
"Robin? What happened?" he knelt down as she held her side and looked white as a ghost.
"I hurt my side. I just need a minute," she panted and almost whispered.
"Can I see? Are you cut?"
She was having trouble catching her breath and he was at a loss as to why she was in such bad shape.
"Just wait, I need a minute."
He watched helplessly until she finally exhaled and seemed to be able to breathe better.
"I was punished with a stun gun," she finally said. "I'm pretty sure I have nerve damage there and I hit my side at the spot where it's really bad."
"What? They did what?" he cried and tilted her face to him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
He pulled her gently into his arms and held her, not caring about anything else. He just needed to fix this for her. He needed to help her. Through all the hurt feelings and misunderstandings, he kept losing sight of the trauma she suffered.
"Please don't hide anything from me. That was what I was just saying. You can trust me with it all. I need to know it all."
She sat back and wiped her eyes.
"I didn't handle the divorce very well," she said with a slight smile. "I didn't believe it was real. I knew how angry you were from when I saw you at the clinic, but when the papers came, I think I broke a little more inside. I tried everything I knew to get to you. I needed to get a message to you somehow to tell you that I didn't want this. I wanted to come home and be with you and Emma. I never meant for this to happen. When you pleaded with me to come home, I wanted to, so much."
He felt sick to his stomach listening to her.
"I was desperate. I tried to escape and no matter what they did, I kept trying. Even when they withheld my meds, I still tried," she said.
"Robin, I'm so sorry," he choked out.
"No, it's not your fault. I did this, Patrick. I made you feel so alienated from me that you had to let me go. I'm realizing all of that now."
"No, you're wrong," he said.
"I kept fighting them and I think they just needed to neutralize me, so they used the stun gun. The problem was that they continued to use it on the same part and the burns on my skin never healed properly. I started to take my meds again because I began to worry about secondary infections and with my HIV I couldn't let them win that way. I cooperated, but they continued to use the gun as a punitive measure. If I mentioned you or Emma, I was shocked. If I refused a meal, I was shocked. Always in the same spot. Always.
"Is there anything I can do help you? Anything that makes it feel better?"
"Sometimes I wrap a padded bandage around the area so nothing touches it and then it's fine. It's not bad, usually. I was fine when you massaged me, but sometimes when something hits the nerve at the right spot; it feels like my body is being split in half."
He swallowed his anger and got up.
"Where are your bandages? I'll help you with one."
"Patrick, you don't have to. I know you wanted to go home."
He watched her stand up and his tears spilled over his cheeks.
"I don't want to go home. I want to hold you all night long. I want to kiss you and love you and show you that I am a man you can trust. I want to be the man who promised to love you for forever. I am that man; he just got a little lost."
She nodded and walked to her bathroom, grabbing the bag of materials. She went to the bed and put them down before she took her robe off and faced him.
"It looks bad, so if that bothers you, I understand."
He put his gloves on and sat down next to her.
"Let me see," he said softly as she lay on her side and motioned for him to pull her nightshirt up.
Patrick uncovered her body and his heart was in his throat when he saw the scarring from what they did. She had two probe marks and deep bruises from what they did. The area around the marks was red from her recent fall and he could make out other marks on her torso.
He took the padding and gauze and gently covered the area as he kept his eyes on her face. She was crying silently and he could hardly bear it. He cleaned up and pulled her shirt back down before he came back to the bed.
"What can I do?" he asked, as she lay there, mortified and ashamed.
"Can you just stay with me for a few minutes? I'm feeling a little anxious."
He got on the bed next to her and gently pulled her against him, being careful of her side. He spooned with her, fully clothed and rested his cheek on her shoulder.
"You are going to make it," he said softly. "You are the strongest woman I know. You can simply do anything."
She covered his hands and held them to her as her tears fell.
Under all of the hurt and misunderstandings and pain, there was a simple truth.
They loved each other, beyond reason.
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