Title: I'm Afraid

Characters: Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Sirius Black.

AN: I was reminded by the amazing Penny (padfootastic) that I have so many thoughts about Peter Pettigrew. He is turning into Regulus Back for me (Penny, you know what I mean). And I have these ideas about this beautiful character. This is one of those ideas. There will be more.

Word Count: 396

Peter Pettigrew knew how to not be noticed. He knew how to explain seemingly unexplainable bruises. He knew when to smile and when to cry when getting himself and his best friends out of trouble. The chubby little boy with pale blond hair knew a lot of things. But there was one thing he didn't know how to do.

Peter Pettigrew didn't know how to not be scared.

He had always suffered from the nightmares that haunted him. The nightmares were rarely completely the same. But they always exposed his biggest fear: being completely alone and forced to fend for himself. He had done that for the majority of his life. He didn't want to go back to that ever again. By the time that he had turned fifteen years old the nightmares felt like they were a part of him. He was meant to always be afraid. He was meant to be tortured and reminded of the fact that he could lose his closest friends at any time. He was meant to live in constant fear of the unavoidable moment when he would once and for all be completely alone.

"What are you thinking about Wormtail?" Sirius laid on his stomach on his bed at the other side of the room. His brown hair was pushed back in a bun and his frown created wrinkles around his grey eyes.

Peter shook his head. "Nothing."

James and Sirius looked at each other and then Remus. It amazed Peter that he had the kind of friends he could silently communicate with. But when they used it against him Peter hated it as much as he normally loved it.

The boy with the raven-coloured hair and hazel eyes wasn't convinced. "You know you can tell us if something's wrong. Right?"

Peter nodded and forced himself to smile. "Of course."

For a few seconds, it felt like they were going to wait for him to speak. Peter had the words on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't fight through his fear. He couldn't say the words that he had told them so many times before in his dreams. He couldn't tell them that he was afraid.

So, he smiled again. Because he knew that they would drop the issue even if none of them would be fooled. "What kind of plans do we have for April 1st?"

The end