I stared at my feet as we started walking home. How could I be walking back to Brooklyn? I had finally found him, how could I be leaving him behind? Something caught in my chest as I breathed. I stopped and looked back at the way we had come. My hand still tingled from the warmth of his touch. I had him there in my reach and I let him go.

I kept trying to tell myself that I couldn't stay with him, he had no idea how I felt about him. I was a friend who helped him when he was sick, that was all. He had new friends now, what was I but a painful reminder of his time in the Refuge.

Jumper must have seen me stop because he had come back to where I was standing. When I looked at him he was confused, but I could see a light spark come to his expressive face. He put his fingers to his lips and let out a whistle, the other three turned around to look at us. Jumper made a motion as if he was putting a hat on, and Topper trotted back to us, he told Train we'd catch up in a bit.

Jumper was smiling at me and then at Topper, who looked lost. He started poking me in the chest excitedly and then pointed back the way we came. I thought I knew what he was asking, but I didn't want to talk about it out in the open. The pencil he pulled out of his pocket did us no good, we had nothing for him to write on. So he looked back at me and put his hand over his left eye and started nodding. When I nodded back he grinned even more.

Topper looked at the two of us and asked, "That was him?" I nodded. "Why didn't ya tell me? Ya barely said a thing the whole time we were there. We coulda found an excuse to stay longer."

"I just don't know if that woulda been a good idea. He doesn't know how I feel. If I tell him he could just be disgusted with me and neva want to be my friend again. I can't risk that."

"How do ya know he don't feel the same way. Ya spent the last year and a half depressing yourself and everyone around you, watching every person you pass. What if he is being a shy little baby, same as you."

I didn't expect this sort of reaction from him. I was getting angry enough to start swinging and he knew it. He had no right to tell me I should risk losing the one person that I loved. I stood up a little straighter and got closer to him. "Don't ya dare be tellin me how to handle my affairs." I snarled back at him.

Jumper put a hand on each of our chests and started to step between us. I was mad that he would touch me and I shoved him away from me as hard as I could. He wasn't expecting me to fight back and so went sprawling onto the road. I felt bad the second I saw him falling and turned towards him, and right into Toppers left hook. His hand landed a solid blow to my jaw. I grabbed at my face with my hand and looked up at as he moved to help Jumper up. He glared back at me. And the two started walking back towards Brooklyn.

After a few minutes I followed them at a distance.

I decided to sleep out on the pier that night. I didn't think I'd be welcome in my usual sleeping place. I spent most of the night just thinking about him. How much he'd changed in the year and a half since I'd last seen him. He was taller and his body had filled out. He was starting to look more like a man than the boy I remembered. And the patch which should have detracted from his looks only gave him a sense of mystery in my mind. I fell asleep imagining him asleep in my arms, just like he used to be. And dreams of his muscular arms holding onto me as well filled my night.

It was awful waking up alone after the vivid pictures I saw in my sleep. I sat up from the corner I had slept in, behind some crates and had to shift my clothing around to make room for what was left over from my dreams. I looked around and didn't see anyone. I thought about taking care of myself, but worried about someone seeing me. So stripped down to my underwear and ran the 4 feet to jump off the pier edge. The water was just getting cold for the start of fall, and so it ended my physical problem for the time being. Albeit in a very rude manner.

I climbed the ladder a few minutes later and dressed myself again. I waited outside Topper's room for the noise to stop, and then knocked. Topper opened the door wearing only his pants. Jumper sat on the single person bed the two of them shared, with a blanket pulled over his lap and no shirt. He smiled at me, but Topper still wore a scowl. He tilted his head towards the couch that I normally slept on and I went and sat down. He grabbed a shirt and threw it towards Jumper and then started putting another on himself.

"I know ya didn't mean to hurt Jumper, Spot. Ya had every right to be mad at me. The lives we live, we all have lost more than most people can bare. Only you know if you can bare losin him too." He said as he glanced at Jumper.

Jumper watched us talking and when we were done he clapped his hands together once and Topper looked at him. He pointed to his pocket and pointed forward, which I had learned meant that he wanted Topper to tell him about that conversation later. Then he pointed down at the floor where his pants were. Topper laughed and handed them to him.

He looked over at me and said, "Get dressed kid, ya need to sell your papes quick if ya want to be the one to deliver a message to Manhattan for Train."

I smiled at him and jumped up from my spot. As I closed the door behind me I saw Topper lean down and kiss Jumper. Was it worth the risk?