Monday, February 10th, 2014.
Ugh. I'm starting to dread the mornings.
Seal Team 6 got back to me after all the usual shit in the morning and early afternoon. They said that while it was great that someone else was willing to volunteer for the Kai Program, right now they're short on the necessary resources to carry out the surgery, so unfortunately, they couldn't come pick her up to transfer her to one of their upgrade facilities. They said that they would get back to me on when I can send Kitakami over to get upgraded, but they said that they didn't know when the next time would be. So much for that, I guess. This I informed Kitakami at breakfast - who clearly wasn't pleased, but at least this time she knows that it's out of my control now. She demanded that I keep her up to date regarding the Kai Program, which I said I would.
Lots of paperwork today. I mean, considering it's Monday, that's hardly a surprise, but also considering that now I'm basically the de facto kitchen boy during the morning up until the early afternoon, it's a huge pain in the ass now. Didn't feel like working at all, but hey, that's no excuse to not do your work. Since Kirishima returned my stereo speakers back to my room, I put some music on my laptop and worked with the music pumping into my office. The acoustics of the office are better than I expected, so the stereo sound really good. The Payday 2 soundtrack, in case you're wondering what the music was. I played through the game with some co-workers on our weekends off (this was before I became a naval captain), and I thought the music ingame was sweet, so I checked out the full soundtrack and it's pretty much amazing, my kind of music. Mainly because it helps keep me in the groove. Without it, I probably would've succumbed to another annoying sleep attack.
To my surprise, Kiso came into my office while I was working on paperwork in the afternoon carrying some snacks. She said that she'd been in the kitchens for a quick snack when Mamiya found her and asked her to bring me some sweet biscuits and a tall glass of the best fruit punch I've ever tasted. (Very refreshing, but not overkilling the sweet like a certain other branded Punch does.) She asked me what kind of music I was listening to, and I told her very simply that I was listening to "my kind" of music. Obviously not very specific, but I don't really expect the ship girls to be aware of video game soundtracks. Either way, Kiso remarked that it certainly sounded pretty cool. Whether or not I'm supposed to be surprised by that, I'm not sure.
Kiso asked me about the Kai Program. She'd been talking with Ooi and Kitakami lately, since they're ship sisters and share the same dorm, if not room, about this new Kai Program. Kiso admitted that she, too, was very much so interested in the Kai Program like Kitakami is, but she's keeping it a secret from her sisters about it and wanted to ask me to put her in it, too.
I asked her why on Earth she thought that she had the right to make a request like that after punching her own superior.
At this, she stiffened up, realizing that she'd probably done something that she's paying the price for now. She apologized straight away, bowin' to me and stuff, that it was just because of the nature of the situation before Ooi showed up again that she lose her temper, that she just wanted to do her best to look after Kitakami and whatnot.
Well, at least she's being honest, and I can see where she's coming from. Between me and Kiso, there's no reason to hold the saltshaker over my head and continue being a little bitch, since she's being honest with me here. I can tell. Kiso definitely doesn't have the same attitude or personality as Kitakami.
I accepted Kiso's apology and told her that I would put her and Kitakami into the Kai Program as soon as possible, and that she'd have to wait for now since I had just received a response from the development team about the situation.
She also asked me to stop holding any grudges I had against Kitakami. She'd heard all about the little argument we had yesterday evening because Kitakami was apparently bitching about it all last evening in their dorm, so Kiso wanted to ask me to just leave that behind us and let things be. The fact that Kitakami was bitching about that to her sisters angers me a little, but I can understand, since if I had something I wanted to complain about, I'd go bitch about it to the friends I don't have. I replied with a simple and cryptic "We'll see".
Before she left though, I did apologize to Kiso. Obviously things didn't really end all that well for me and Kitakami, but as long as Ooi was back and Kitakami was back to her normal self again, I didn't mind anything else that might follow. I asked Kiso to try and bear with the shitstorm between me and her sister ship, since neither of us was really willing to concede, in the pride sense. I told her to give me another week or so, and I won't make a fuss over Kitakami or anything like that.
After my paperwork was done, I headed out to the practice waters and watched Akagi and Yamato and Shioi train with some of the girls who've been here longer, getting them acquainted with fleet maneuvers and all the little nuances and habits and fighting styles of the other girls. Yamato just towers over everyone else, it's so weird to see that's it's borderline hilarious. I bet it's not as hilarious to the people who're fighting against her, though. Interestingly, Houshou was also out there too, helping train Yamato. As I observed them, they seemed to be on very friendly terms as well, just as I had seen Yamato hang around with Fubuki. Then again, Fubuki was out there helping Yamato too. Well, it's good to see that Yamato's made some good friends already. The fact that she's nowhere near as close with Kirishima and Hiei, the other battleships, is rather curious to me as well.
I stayed out there until their practice/training was done and greeted them as they came in. Suzuya came bounding over to me like some kind of Bambi deer and asked me if she saw how hard she's been training. I told her that to be honest, I wasn't necessarily watching anyone in particular, just seeing how the training was going, and it was obvious she wasn't pleased by that answer, because she just kinda hung her head in dismay, so I reached out and patted her head, saying that I'd try to watch specific people to keep track of her progress, so that cheered her right back up. Unfortunately, that made a lot of the other ship girls jealous when they saw me pat Suzuya's head (she physically grabbed my arm when I stopped and slapped it back on her head like my hand's her hat or something, so the other girls got the wrong idea), so I got instantly swarmed by lots of the destroyers and the submarines who all wanted head pats.
Akebono, as usual, called me a dirty lolicon and other similar internet insults related to pedophilia before returning to base. I think I heard her call me Pedobear too. Well, I guess I know what I should order off Amazon soon...
So after I had to give everyone head pats, I caught up with Yamato, Akagi, and the heavy cruiser sisters Takao and Atago before they went back to base. I took them out to the pier, since I didn't really want anyone else eavesdropping. I explained to them that for this Wednesday's mission, I intended to make Yamato the flagship, which very much so surprised everyone, Yamato herself the most. She basically gave me the same speech that Takao gave me back when I first made her my secretary ship: she'd just been assigned to this base, she wasn't anywhere near as acquainted with the fleet quite yet and had very little battle experience aside from her extensive studying of naval strategy and battle theory, and all these other self-deprecating excuses as to why she shouldn't be the flagship.
In response, I pointed out that Yamato herself was the single most powerful ship girl we had at base, that there was literally not a single soul here at base who didn't respect her - even Akebono treats her well around the base whenever they bump into each other - and she was just a natural charismatic figure. And from what I could gather from watching the little bit of their training, it was clear that even if Yamato's knowledge of battle is strictly textbook, it sure as hell translates well into practical application. I told Yamato that if she had any other reason, an actually legitimate reason that would convince me not to designate Yamato as the fleet's flagship for Wednesday's mission, that wasn't a self-degrading reason, I would gladly hear it, and she couldn't think of one. I then asked her companions what they thought of my intention, and they all agreed that it was a good idea, that Yamato was a natural fit for the flagship, so Yamato pretty much had no choice but to accept the title. I asked Takao, Atago, and Akagi to assist Yamato with her decision-making as flagship if they felt she needed help, and they agreed to it.
Though, it seemed like Yamato actually didn't like the fact that she was going to be flagship for her very first mission, so I told the others to head back and kept Yamato a little bit longer. I asked her to be honest with me; if she really didn't wanna be flagship that badly, then I would reconsider. I wasn't about to just shove the flagship title onto someone who wasn't willing to handle the responsibility of being flagship. Yamato said that it wasn't that she didn't like it, she was just feeling really nervous now that she knew the pressure of being the flagship was on her shoulders on her very first mission, so much so that she was just feeling really uncomfortable. I repeated again, Yamato, if you don't wanna be flagship, just tell me now. Don't force yourself, I'm open to suggestions. But Yamato just shook her head - she said that she mustn't question my authority, that she must have faith in the fact that I knew what I was doing.
So a bit of context first...I happen to know the story of the real-life battleship Yamato. I watched Uchuu Senkan Yamato, or Space Battleship Yamato, back when it first aired since I thought it looked like an interesting title. It was a decent anime in my opinion, but then I got intrigued with the real life Yamato from it, so I searched it up and read up on it. I read all about Yamato's role in the Second World War, her outrageously luxurious fittings that gave her the sort of irksome nickname of "Hotel Yamato", and her suicide run in Operation Ten-Go. So hearing Yamato tell me that she "mustn't question your authority" and that she "must have faith in my guidance" made me feel...
...really depressed.
Like, seriously, talk about a mood whiplash.
So I took off my officer's cap. You know, funny thing is, if you're a military officer, whether you're in the army, the navy, or wherever, and no matter which country's military you're working for, if you're talking to a subordinate, and you take off your hat, that subordinate immediately knows that shit's about to get real. It's not just in anime or the movies - this's one of the few things that actually works well in real life too and doesn't seem corny. So as soon as I took off my hat and looked up at Yamato, her face was just filled with nervousness, like she was dreading what I was about to say. And this is what I told her (because somehow I remember every word that I told her. No, that was supposed to be sarcastic, obviously I'm using a bit of paraphrasing here and there):
"You've been given another chance to live, Yamato. I know what happened last time in your very last mission. Ten-Go, right? (As soon as I mentioned Ten-Go, Yamato froze.) See how well that went? I don't know what you thought during that mission, but even your commanders knew that Ten-Go was nothing but an ostentatious suicide attack to try and stop the American advance. They were willing to sacrifice you, the pride of their own goddamn fleet, like that. Maybe I don't understand what the old Imperial Navy was like. Maybe I just don't get what they were thinking - actually, I don't, because I thought Ten-Go was stupid. And I don't know how you felt about Ten-Go either. But I don't agree with what you say, Yamato. If you don't question authority, if you don't know what you're doing, if you don't do what you think is best for yourself, your friends, and your comrades, you'll never know what the hell you're going to end up doing. You need to know what you feel that you must do. Don't just blindly do what other people tell you to. Following orders is great, but knowing which orders to follow is, I think, a much more valuable skill. And now that you have a human body and can do things for yourself this time around, I think you should capitalize on that. In fact, not just you, but everyone else here."
Yamato was silent for a pretty long time after that. We just kinda stood out there near the docks while the wind blew around us.
She eventually quietly told me that she was trained to be obedient, to follow all the orders that came out of her commanders' mouths. So now that I've told her to be wary of my orders, I've essentially placed a Catch-22 on her: she needs to obey everything that she's been told to do, yet here I am telling her to do the exact opposite. Well, not necessarily the exact opposite, but you get the point. If that's what I wanted her to do, then Yamato wouldn't know what to do.
I just told her to do what she felt was best. I made it clear that I didn't like the notion of mindlessly doing everything that you've been told to do, but if that's how Yamato wanted to live, then that's fine. I wasn't here to preach doctrines of behavior unto people, I'm here to lead a fleet. And unlike every other typical naval officer, I was going to try my best not to simply throw ships away into some hopeless meat grinder.
I told Yamato that she had until tomorrow morning to let me know if she wanted to still keep the title of flagship, because if she didn't want it in the end, I'd have to reassign another ship girl to be flagship so that they can use tomorrow as a training day. I have a feeling that she's still sitting out at the pier, deciding what she wants to do.
Which makes me feel really guilty. I didn't mean to make Yamato feel so weighed down right as she arrived here. Hopefully I can do something that'll make her feel better.