Chapter Sixty-Two:
Patrick work up and felt her body on his. She wore only her bra and panties and although he wore his pajama shorts, her knee rest precariously close to his groin.
"I've missed this," she murmured as her hand traveled over his torso.
"You're awake?" he asked as he tried to get his body to relax.
She moved her leg a little and the friction over his crotch made him instantly respond.
"Robin, stop," he said thickly. "You're driving me crazy."
She moved a little and leaned on her elbow, her long hair falling over her shoulder.
"Do you know how long it's been since I've watched you come apart for me?"
His erection grew at her words and he kept his eyes on her as she moved her hand down his body to the bulge in his shorts.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"Reminding you of my touch," she said and slipped her hand under the band of his shorts, wrapping her fingers around his throbbing member.
"Shit," he hissed as she moved to the tip of his shaft and back down the base.
"Do you like that? Can I do it any better?" she grinned.
"God I missed your touch," he said and panted as she moved her hand faster. He turned to pull her to him and heard a thump.
"Ow!" Robin cried out and Patrick sat up, waking from his dream.
"Oh no, are you okay?" he leaned over and saw she was sitting on the floor.
"Yeah. You pushed me off the bed," she said and stood up, rubbing her arm.
"I'm sorry. I was dreaming," he said and realized she could probably tell what he was dreaming about.
"I figured," she smiled. "I'm going to wash up. I'll be right back."
He lay back and tried to get his body to chill out. He looked down and groaned at himself.
That was an incredible dream and he realized he wanted it to be true. It wasn't so much that he wanted her to do that, although he would, but it was the connection to her that he missed.
Being with her was unlike anything he could describe. She was in his heart in a way that he couldn't deny. He simply needed her and he truly adored her.
But so much had gone wrong and he wasn't sure he could get her to truly trust him again.
He got up and pulled on his clothes, happy his knee was relatively painless. The problem was his heart ached.
"Shit."
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Robin splashed water on her face and smiled. She was incredibly turned on by seeing him aroused and she realized how much she wanted to be with him.
It had been so long since she had been touched by anyone in a loving way and if she was honest with herself, she knew it was only his hands she missed.
Being with him here was incredibly therapeutic but she was careful not to put too much stock in their newfound connection. Things were isolated and that was always a good thing for them. It was back in the real world that caused so many issues. It was the boring day to day that was so hard.
"Robin? You can come out now," she heard him call and she ran her hand though her hair.
"I'll be right out," she said and finished washing her face.
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"This is so much fun! It's like our own private island," Emma said as she sat with Patrick and Robin at the safe house. They had played games and had lunch and it was fun and relaxing for all of them.
"So Emma, I wanted to talk to you about something," Patrick said as they sat on the plush couch.
"Okay," she smiled and held Robin's hand.
"I think it's time for us to sell our house and get a new one."
Robin was surprised he brought it up right then.
"Why? Is it a bad house?" Emma asked.
"No, but sometimes we outgrow a house. It's kind of like your clothes. We wear some so many times that we need to get some new ones."
Emma thought about it and looked at Robin before she faced her father.
"Is it because you had other women sleep in mommy's bed?"
Patrick paled and Robin smiled at her daughter.
"Em, your daddy didn't have anyone sleep in my bed. Daddy and I weren't together and his bed was for him. I had my own bed and it was very comfortable."
"That's not true," Emma said.
Patrick looked at Robin.
"What do you mean?" Robin asked.
"You don't sleep in a bed anymore. Since you came home, you stay on the couch and I figured that was because daddy gave your bed to someone else. I think we should move just so you can sleep in a bed with daddy again."
Robin felt her tears come and Patrick saw her hurt and fear.
"Em, let's look at this in a different way," he said and Emma waited. "When mommy and I bought that house, a lot of things were different. You were so tiny and mommy and I were still figuring out what our life looked like together. Now, you are a young lady and mommy and I have both grown up a lot, so it's time to find a home that fits who we are now."
"So mommy will come live with us again?"
Patrick realized he didn't know that answer.
"Em, let's just look for a house you love and then we will make other decisions. What kinds of things do you want in your new house?"
Emma looked at her parents and her tears came.
"I want my mommy and daddy to be there together."
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A few hours later, Patrick walked out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Mac had taken Emma with him and Anna was arranging for security to be set up at Patrick's house for him to come home.
Robin didn't want to go home with them and Patrick knew that. He loved this current set up because they were together.
He didn't want that to end.
He walked out of the bathroom and saw Robin was sitting on the couch, staring at her hands.
"Robin? Are you okay?"
She jumped and turned to see him standing there in a towel and nothing else. She quickly turned away.
"I'm fine."
He could hear the tears in her voice and he limped over.
"You don't sound fine," he said as he sat down.
"Patrick, please put some clothes on."
"Oh, sorry," he said and got up, but the towel snagged on the couch and he fell to the floor, completely naked.
"Fuck," he said as pain radiated through his chest.
"Oh shit, are you okay?" she knelt and held his face in her hands.
"Towel, please," he said and she realized he was naked. She grabbed the towel and he laid it over himself.
"Can I help you up?"
He closed his eyes and blushed.
"I think it's time for you to let me die of embarrassment. This is twice today I have shoved my nakedness at you and I really think you should keep your distance."
"Your nakedness? I don't recall you shoving that anywhere in a while," she grinned. "Besides, this morning was fun."
He put his arm behind his head and his muscles bulged as she looked at him.
"What part of that was fun? The morning wood or the shoving you out of bed?"
"Morning wood?" she grinned. "Nice."
"You can't tell me you didn't notice," he sighed. "Now that would be humiliating."
"I noticed," she said softly. "I actually appreciated it."
"You what?" he sat up more and made sure he was covered.
"I don't know what you were dreaming about, but I'd like to think I may have had something to do with it. I like to think I still turn you on. I wasn't sure anymore."
He heard the sincerity in her voice and he knew it was a real concern for her.
"It was about you," he said huskily.
She smiled as she sat down.
"What were we doing?"
He was nervous about this kind of conversation because he didn't want to scare her off.
"It's okay, never mind," she said and went to get up but he held her hand.
"You were touching me," he said as he brought her fingers to his lips.
She looked at him and swallowed.
"Touching you how?"
He smiled.
"In the way I love."
She nodded and got up. Patrick sighed and stood up, grabbing his shorts and pulling them on.
"What's wrong?" he asked as she sat on the bed.
"Why are you talking in circles with me? Are you grossed out by what happened to me?" she asked him.
He sat down next to her and turned her face to him.
"I'm terrified of scaring you away. I want you, so badly, that's it's taking all of my self control not to make love to you right here."
She shook her head and looked at her hands.
"Nothing ever stops you from sex, Patrick. It's me."
"No, it isn't," he said passionately. "I love you but I don't know what to do. You keep saying that you won't be able to handle it if I hurt you again."
"Do you plan on hurting me again?" she asked.
"That's not what I meant."
"So what is it? If it isn't me or what they did to me," she said. "Unless it is."
His eyes were full of tears as he looked at her.
"I won't make it if we don't make it. I don't think I can make love to you and have it be the last time we are together. I can't live without your touch anymore. I can't let you into my heart and have you leave. I'm not strong enough," he said and wiped a lone tear that fell from his eye.
She reached to hold his face in her hands and stroke his cheeks.
"You think I'll leave again?"
"I don't want to, but when Emma asked if you were going to be with us, you didn't tell her yes. You aren't sure if you want to be with me and I understand that and will wait for you to make that choice, but until then, I don't want to go there. I can't," he said brokenly.
She stood up and paced a little before she turned and smiled at him.
"So you won't have sex without a commitment?"
He wiped his eyes and grinned.
"I guess not, although I think I must be crazy."
"No more no strings, huh?" she said as she walked to face him.
"Not possible. You and I are full of strings," he said softly.
She stood between his legs and out her hands on his shoulders.
"I don't want to be with anyone else. Yours are the only hands I want on my body and you are the only man I want to make love to. What I'm worried about is moving too fast back into a life that doesn't exist anymore. I don't want to go back to what we were because it didn't work. I want to find a way to be together now, in this life. I think that will take time. I want to enjoy the journey because we deserve to be happy. I want to be with you, but I don't want to rush it."
He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer.
"I understand," he said. "But I want you to help with a new house. I want us to be together in all of this."
"Okay," she smiled. "I'd like that."
"Good," he grinned.
"So now what?" she asked him.
"Now we wait."
"Wait?" she asked him.
"When we make love, I don't want any thought to be in your mind except how much you want to be with me. I don't want there to be any doubts about why you're in my arms. I don't want you to question anything other than how good it feels to be with me."
She wiped her eyes and nodded.
"You're right."
He felt an emptiness in his heart when she stepped back.
"Can I still kiss you?" she asked.
"Not when you're so far away," he said and she smiled as she moved back to him and he stood up and almost lifted her off the ground with the passion from his kiss.
She wrapped her arms around him and moaned into his mouth.
"Shit," he panted as he put her down.
"I'm going to lie down by the fire. You take that bed," she said.
He watched her walk to the blanket and he groaned as everything in him hated this.
He wasn't sure he could follow his own plan.
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