Chapter Sixty-Four:

"He just left?" Anna asked her daughter as Robin was visiting her at the police station.

Robin filled her in on what happened with Patrick the night before and Patrick was unpacking his things this morning, so Robin left before he got there. She felt like he deserved space from her.

"Yeah. You know, it's possible that we just don't work anymore."

Anna sighed.

"Do you honestly believe that?"

Robin looked at her mother and wanted desperately to confide in her, but there was still a lot of hurt right on the surface. She was cautious and she simply held back.

"I don't know. He's been through a lot and now that things are calming down, maybe he realizes that it's time to move on, no hidden agendas or lies."

"Luv, you've been through a lot. Are you feeling like maybe you don't want to be with him anymore?"

Robin tried to stop her tears, but she couldn't.

"I love him, with everything I am. All I could think about for years was coming home to the family I love and have always wanted. I was so stupid. I thought he would welcome me with open arms and that all this time he had been searching and waiting. Nothing is what I thought. Nothing is what I imagined."

Anna reached across the desk and squeezed Robin's hand.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "We were all so wrong, but I let you down more than anyone. I'm truly sorry."

Robin wiped her eyes and shrugged.

"We don't need to keep going over it. I know you were trying to honor my wishes and I left of my own accord. I can't hold you to a standard that I imagined in my head. I can't blame Patrick for moving forward with his life when I never told him the truth. I made my bed and I have to lie in it."

"That's not true. Making a choice to save a friend does not mean you deserved to be held against your will and have your family abandon you. We were so wrong. Please don't let us off the hook so easily."

"What's the point?" Robin asked with a little more anger than she meant. "Why should I continue to be mad when it serves no purpose. I want to move forward and I need to figure out what to do with my life."

"What do you mean? Aren't you going to go back to work?"

"I don't think I want to be a doctor anymore. I am working on the meds for Aaron and after that, I think I'm hanging up my stethoscope."

"Robin, why? You worked so hard to become a doctor and you are the best there is. Why would you walk away?"

Robin looked at her and her expression spoke volumes.

"Everything that happened to me was because of my research. I never went into medicine to be Dr. Evil. I was held against my will because of my ability to create a serum and then I was chosen to try and resurrect Jason. I am not sorry he is alive, but they used my research to bring back horrible people and whatever damage they do to society is on me. I am not a mad scientist. I wanted to help find a cure for HIV so no other people have to go through what I did. I never wanted to be like this. I am more than a doctor and I don't think anyone sees that."

"Excuse me," Ms. Devane?" a detective walked up to them.

Robin wiped her eyes and nodded that she was okay.

"What is it?" Anna asked.

"You have an interview in interrogation 3."

"Right. Okay, I'll be right there."

She turned to Robin who stood up.

"I need to head to the hospital and see Aaron. I'll talk to you later?"

Anna walked to hug her and Robin allowed it, but held back a little. Anna felt it and kissed her head.

"I love you. I will keep working to prove that."

Robin sighed.

"I love you, too."

XXXXX

Patrick sat in his office at the hospital, looking over some charts. Now that Obrecht was on the run, she was out of the hospital for good and he agreed to stay on staff. He also needed to get his mind off of Robin and what an ass he had been the night before.

He wanted so much to make love to her. It was all he could do not to push her against the wall and run his mouth all over her beautiful body.

The problem was he knew he was terrified to be with her. He harbored so much guilt over how he let her down that he didn't know how he could ever be the man she deserved.

He knew that he wanted to be a better man. He wanted to be the man his daughter thought he was and the husband Robin believed in.

Deep down, he was ashamed. He was ashamed at who he had become and he knew, in order to be there for Robin, he had to get his shit together. He couldn't hurt her again.

He looked at his watch and got up to head to his therapy appointment. Maybe Dr. Cruze could help him figure himself out.

XXXX

Robin left the precinct and made her way to the hospital. She was still wary of Dr. Obrecht lurking, but she was pretty confident she wouldn't show her face at the hospital. Ben was assigned to Emma today and was waiting for her outside camp. Robin was going to head back to the penthouse after her visit.

She made her way through the halls of GH and the Stone Cates memorial wing and her hand touched the familiar walls. She saw a picture of Stone and Sonny and she stood there, her mind going back to a time in her life that was full of such hope and then complete devastation.

How did this become her life?

"Robin? Are you okay?"

She jumped and turned to smile at Mark.

"Sorry, I was kind of lost in my mind," she said and smiled. "I was on my way to see you and Aaron."

He smiled and Robin could see his exhaustion all over his face.

"They just took him for an MRI to see if the lesions have lessoned. I was actually coming back from cardiology to check on some charts. I'm not working, but I wanted to stay fresh with what's happening. I've been going a little stir crazy lately. Lots of thoughts and nowhere for them to go."

"I hear you," she said. "Do you want to get something to eat in the cafeteria? I'm a great listener."

He realized just how much he would love that.

"Thanks. That would be really great."

She smiled and they made their way to the cafeteria and got their trays of food. They went to a booth and sat across from each other where there was a little more privacy.

"So what were you thinking about when I found you?" Mark asked.

Robin smiled.

"Stone and my life when he was diagnosed. It's hard to look back and see the girl I was and the life I have now."

"Hard? Why?"

Robin looked at him and felt completely at ease talking to him. There was nothing there to cloud his judgment. He didn't know anything about her past and he had no ulterior motive.

"I guess because my life doesn't really look like what I planned. I mean I didn't have any plans, really, after I was diagnosed. I didn't think I would make it to my next birthday."

Mark couldn't imagine what she must have gone through.

"Did Stone help you get through that?"

Robin realized he didn't know anything other than Stone was her boyfriend and that's how she was infected.

Mark took her silence as a sign he stepped too far.

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business," he sighed.

Robin reached and squeezed his hand.

"No, it's just that I'm not used to people asking about that time in my life."

"Patrick doesn't?" he asked, surprised.

Robin was quiet and Mark blushed.

"Again, foot in mouth disease. I'm just going to shut up."

She smiled and looked at her hands before she met his gaze.

"It's complicated. Stone was close with Sonny Corinthos, not really close, more like family."

"The mob boss?" he asked.

"You've heard of him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I have always been extremely close with Sonny as well and it was because of me that Sonny met Jason."

"The man you left to save?"

Robin nodded. She appreciated how Mark had truly paid attention to their talks.

"Yeah. He worked really closely with Sonny. He killed for him and I brought him into that life. It's a long and complicated story, but I have always felt a sense of guilt over that."

"Why? I mean if Jason worked for Sonny, how is that your fault?" Mark was confused and Robin sighed.

"Jason was in a car accident and his personality was completely changed after a severe brain injury. He was angry and alone and I had just been diagnosed and Stone died and the two of us found a kindred spirit with each other. Jason trusted me and through me, he trusted Sonny. His life was forever changed because of his work with Sonny and even though we broke up romantically, I have always considered Jason family."

Mark nodded.

"And Patrick doesn't like that?"

"He doesn't like the danger it brings and he doesn't think Jason deserves my devotion. He's not wrong. Patrick watched me die in front of him because I was trying to help Jason. That moment started three years of torture and the end of our marriage. I am responsible for so much of his hurt."

Mark smiled and Robin was confused.

"What?"

He shrugged.

"You're just a pretty amazing woman, but you seem to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. You have to know that you are not responsible for the decisions of others."

Robin felt her eyes fill with tears, as he seemed to pinpoint her exact fears.

"But I think, in a way, I am. I will never be able to get the time back with my daughter and I can never change the hurt my leaving caused my family."

Mark reached across the table and took her hands in his.

"I made a choice to fall for a woman who was a drug addict. I knew she was in trouble and I tried to help her, but there was nothing I could do to take away the power the drugs had over her. I knowingly stayed with her because I didn't know how to be without her. I was a cardiac surgeon and she used me, over and over again."

Robin looked at him and her heart broke.

"When she left me with Aaron and we got his diagnosis, I was consumed with guilt. If I hadn't stayed with her, loved her, and enabled her, then she wouldn't have had our son. I contributed to his birth and I have had to watch him suffer with HIV his whole young life. I look at him every day and I know that he must hate what I've done to him," he said and felt his tears come.

"What? You didn't give him HIV. You adore Aaron and he knows that."

"I'm his father and I was supposed to bring him into the world safely. He should never know pain and fear and that's all he's known. He is going to die and I can do nothing to stop that."

"No he isn't. The drugs are going to help and then Patrick can go in surgically and remove the tumor," she said.

"And then what? He has AIDS and not just HIV. He isn't going to get better and you know that."

Robin sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know how life got so messed up."

Mark smiled and wiped his eyes.

"Look, I know you love Patrick and I know you want to be with him. I get that he has issues with your past and how it's affected your marriage, but I also know that you deserve to be happy. Life is too short to live with so many regrets and I would think, after being away from your life for three years, that it's time for you to be happy. You need to stop apologizing because eventually, those that love you either need to shit or get off the pot."

Robin laughed and he grinned.

"Classy."

"Hey, I'm just saying what I know is true. Time is short. Make it count."

Mark's phone rang and he answered it, getting up quickly and looking white as a ghost.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

He hung up.

"It's Aaron. Something terrible happened," he went to walk and almost fell, but Robin caught him.

"Hey, it's okay, look at me," she said as her tears fell.

"No, I need to get back to him. I need to go," he said brokenly.

Robin nodded.

"They lean on me and let's go."

XXXX

Patrick raced down the hall from therapy. He was paged 911 to Aaron's room and he knew something catastrophic happened. He thought of Emma and how innocent she was. He thought of how close Robin was to Mark and Aaron. They couldn't suffer this loss.

Aaron deserved to live.

He had to make it so.