Intermezzo) Soul Searching: Impmon

"Why did you insist I come here?", Impmon asked.

"Because I haven't given up on you, even if everyone - including yourself - has. It's just you and me - digimon-to-digimon - nothing you say here leaves this room", Renamon promised. They were meeting in Koichi's "Inner Sanctum", and had the whole house to themselves, for this meeting. "I ask you once again: why are you so obsessed with proving how strong you are? Even to the point of self destruction, and we both damn well know that's what trying to fight Indaramon by yourself would have amounted to: suicide"

He started to rise: "I'm not in the mood for another sermon..."

"Good! Because you're not gonna get one. I can't preach at you from some moral high horse because I fell out of that saddle a long time ago".

That caught his attention, and he sat back down: "How do you mean?", he asked.

"Like you, I came to this world to get stronger. It was right after that big card tournament last year, the year Ruki won it. That evening, I was called from the Digital World, and I partnered with her. I knew all along that she wanted to make herself the strongest Tamer. There seems to be some rivalry between her and this Ryo Akiyama: the 'Digimon Queen' versus the 'Legendary Tamer'.

She used me as an object for her own amusement, and I didn't care. I was just as guilty: using her to increase my own strength. Feral digimon, trouble makers, it didn't matter. I followed her orders to attack, defeat, and download. I don't know how many potential Tamers I deprived of partners, and I could not have cared less even if you paid me..."

"Is that true? I didn't know..."

"Impmon, you were the first digimon I met here in the Material World whom I didn't attack on sight. Do you know that I attacked Guilmon on Ruki's orders? Even though I knew he was a partnered digimon?"

"This is the first I ever heard of it... you seem to get along well?"

"That was the occasion that began to awaken the conscience I thought I'd killed off. It's hard to admit it, and it shames me as a digimon warrior, that I didn't have the courage to tell her 'No, I won't attack Guilmon'. I did my best to try to avoid harming him. For the first time in my life, I took a dive because I was more afraid of losing Ruki, losing my ticket to evolution and strength. That wasn't the first time, and Guilmon wasn't the only one. She ordered me to attack him again, and to attack Henry's partner: Terriermon. Again, I refused to defy my Tamer despite knowing that what she was ordering was wrong. Let there be no misunderstanding here: I could have defeated both of them. Guilmon because he lacked experience in fighting, and Terriermon because he's weaker.

So you see, I have no moral high ground to stand on. I'm trying to give you the benefit of my experience so you don't make the same mistakes I did. There a Material World saying: 'The smart man learns from his own mistakes, but the wise man learns from the mistakes of others'".

"That's what I've been saying all along! You sold yourself into bondage to that girl! Even going so far as defying your own conscience! I refuse..."

"Impmon! That wasn't the point I'm trying to make. You need to reconcile yourself with the reality of your situation. This world is very much a human world. That means that we are their guests. That means it is up to us to abide by their laws, their rules, and to respect their customs. And, yes, that means it is well within their rights to control when we evolve, how we evolve, and even if we evolve at all. Yes, Impmon, even that.

If the tables were turned, and it was humans who were coming to the Digital World, would you expect any less of them? If you can't accept that, then maybe you don't belong here, and maybe you should go back to the Digital World".

"I suppose... I would expect that of humans if they came", Impmon reluctantly agreed.

"Furthermore, it has nothing to do with being in bondage to anyone. I've tried telling you this before, but Koichi isn't my master. He doesn't boss me around. Sure, I made a bad choice, partnering with Ruki for all the wrong reasons. I compounded that mistake by thinking I could change her. I had hopes that she was beginning to understand what it took me all too long to recognize. Partnership isn't just about evolving and getting stronger. It's about bringing out the best in each other. Yes, even as disastrous as being Ruki's partner was, I still came out the better for it. I am a better partner for Koichi for that. You are the one who's costing yourself riches that go far beyond overcoming your Rookie weakness, of evolving to the next level and beyond. Why would you do that?"

Impmon explained about coming to the Material World. He wanted to escape a Digital World that seemed to be slowly but surely falling apart. Of hoping for a life beyond fighting. The Material World held new challenges, first and foremost, finding the food and water - the bio-necessities - he did not need in the Digital World. Shelter was no problem: impmon are fast and agile, and sleeping in trees is no big deal. Water, no problems there: the park had many drinking fountains.

It was food that was a problem. At first, he tried begging from those who came to the park to eat their noontime meals. He also got tired of scavenging through garbage cans. He'd taken to B & E for survival. He was pretty good at it too. He was careful to help himself to nothing but left-overs, and canned goods swiped from refrigerators and pantries. Sometimes, he'd swipe spare change left on a dresser or rob a kid's piggy bank for the subway. Never anything of any real value, as he didn't want to attract the attention a cat bugler would attract.

It was that day: he'd been casing a suburban home. He had become maybe a bit too complacent. He thought the home empty. As he was rooting through the 'fridge, there came a small voice:

"What're you doin'?", a little girl asked.

He was not aware that the children were still home, taking a nap. He just stood there, not knowing what to do, or what to say.

"You hungry?", she asked.

Impmon nodded: "Yeah".

"Sit down, and I'll fix you something", she said.

Impmon sat at the kitchen table while the girl prepared a bowl of cereal.

Her twin brother came to see: "Ai", he said, "you shouldn't let in strangers!", he reprimanded.

Mako finally agreed that Impmon, not being human, wasn't a "real" stranger. And so started Impmon's ill-fated stay with the twins. For the first few days, everything was fine. The twins hid him in their bedroom. The twins brought him food, water, and a place to stay.

They soon forgot, taking him for granted. They'd forget to bring him food, and he would have to wait until late at night until he could sneak into the kitchen to raid the 'fridge. They would ignore and neglect him as they played with new toys. They soon only paid him attention when they fought over toys, which was frequently.

"Stupid, selfish humans", Impmon dismissed.

"Of course they were stupid and selfish", Renamon agreed. "They were, what, five? That's like holding a Fresh to the same expectations as a Champion. It's unrealistic, and you are bound to be disappointed. You didn't understand about human children. That was then, but this is now. You should recognize your misjudgment for what it was: an error of judgment based in inadequate knowledge. What is your excuse now, Impmon?"

"All the stupid things they do..."

"Like smashing in the roofs of a dozen cars? Oh wait, that wasn't them doing that, now was it? You were some sort of hot-shot Top Gun in the Violet Zone ADC? How do you think that would look to those in your squadron if they could see you now? How does that malicious prank make digimon look? How does that reflect on the Violet Zone you swore to defend? How does that reflect on the Digital World?

By whose standards are they 'silly' (finger quotes)? They're ten years old! Their games are silly only by the standards of human adult behaviour. You hold them to the same human standards of conduct you keep telling me you reject. Isn't that hypocritical of you? If they're so silly, then explain how it is that you asked Koichi to take you to the school camp-out with Guilmon? If you really don't care, then why didn't you walk away when you saw Henry and Koichi in the subway? Why did you warn the others if you really didn't care? Why did you warn us Indaramon's plan if you really didn't care? Who do you think you're fooling here? Is it me... or is yourself? Give yourself an honest answer to that question".

"So what do you want me to do?"

"What I want is for you to at least open your mind to the possibility that you do not know it all. Admit to yourself what everyone already knows about you anyway: it's a lonely life you're leading, and you don't like living without friends. If you really are interested in showing us how strong you are, then admit you need help and companionship. There is no greater strength than that".

"If I wanted a partner, where would I find one?"

"You weren't at a loss to find people to torment in the park. If you really want one, well, as they say, the teacher appears when the student is willing. Are you willing, Impmon? And if you're not, then could you at least do just one thing for me?"

"What would that be?"

"At least stop screwing it up for the rest of us who are trying to live in this world as good guests".