Once again, reviewers, you make me so happy I feel like grabbing my feather boa –of course I have one- and prancing around to Bohemian Rhapsody! Je t'aime, ma petite choufleurs! (That's 'I love you my little cauliflowers' to any non French speakers) Next chapter, the plot thickens…

I do not own the Mortal Instruments or Mean Girls, regrettably nor do I own 'Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock', although I was once injured playing it.

Magnus pouted into Alec's warm neck, wishing he could stay forever. Properly forever.

They had been snuggled in Magnus's bed for hours; with the blackout curtains closed, they couldn't hazard a guess to what time of day it was. Neither did they care. Alec had been so taken with Mean Girls he had persuaded Magnus (though it hadn't taken much) to watch it again, and again, and now they were watching it in German.

"That bit kind of reminds me of when we were in Alicante," Alec mused, sliding his fingers down Magnus's spine.

"What, you ate lunch with the plastics?" Magnus chuckled throatily "Can't you imagine Isabelle lik e'Es tut mir leid, dass die Leute eifersüchtig auf mich sind, aber ich kann nichts dafür, dass ich so beliebt bin!'" (I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular)

Alec tilted back his head, his pale neck arching delectably in the dim light.

"It's so sexy when you speak German! And no, it was something Izzy said when Aline was making Simon really uncomfortable; 'Oh my god Aline, you can't just ask people what it's like being a vampire'!"

Magnus gave a gleeful giggle, lips hot on his collarbone.

"Oh mein Gott Karen, man kann nicht einfach Leute fragen, warum sie weiß sind!" (Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!)

Alec moaned. Feeling his knees turn to metaphorical jelly, he threaded his hands roughly in Magnus's hair, teasing a surprised growl from his throat. "You like it when I speak German, Alexander?"

"Yes!"

"Dann werde ich dir sagen, was ich dir antun werde, Alexander. Du wirst so heiß sein, dass du darum betteln wirst alles was ich dir gebe zu nehmen. Und so wie es aussieht, wird das auch nicht lange dauern."

The words escaped Magnus's lips in a decadent purr, causing Alec to fling aside the bedcovers and grab him by the hips.

"What does it mean?" he moaned, sliding a leg round his slender waist.

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do to you, Alexander, I'll make you so hot, you'll be begging to take anything I give you." His yellow-green eyes blazed with amusement and power. "And by the looks of it, that won't take long."

Alec felt as though his bones were melting, slowly, into molten goo.

"Mein Deutsch ist nicht mehr so gut, aber anscheinend macht dich alles scharf, also scheiß drauf, willst du eine Geschichtsstunde?"

"By the Angel Magnus!"

"Die Sozialdemokraten übernahmen die Macht nachdem der Kaiser aus dem Land gezwungen war, und Ebert wurde der erste Präsident. Seine Partei gründete die Weimarer Verfassung, oh mein Gott Alec das ist so surreal, du wirst ganz heiß von etwas das ich in einem Londoner Klassenzimmer gelernt habe!"

He was cut off, abruptly, by a phone, buzzing angrily somewhere on the floor. Alec yelled hoarsely "Ignore it!" but as of late, phone calls had tended to be rather important, so Magnus slid reluctantly out of Alec's fuck-me-right-now grip and scrabbled for it, leaving him licking his lips impatiently.

"Hey, man. Two things-"

"Wayland," Magnus growled, vowing to set the stupid child alight for wasting valuable time "I am trying to screw your brother! What are you doing interrupting?"

On the other end of the line, Jace raised an eyebrow and Izzy smirked; meanwhile Alec paled dangerously, shooting a death glare in his boyfriend's direction.

"I don't care if you're trying to screw the entire cast of Eastenders, I want to talk."

Magnus mentally scrutinised the cast in question.

"Ooh, well, there is that pretty masseuse guy. What's his name? Syed? I wouldn't mind getting up on his table and-"

"Earth to High Warlock, I don't give a damn. Izzy's done something to my finger, and we need your help healing it. It looks strange. And you left your bag here."

"Don't you touch the magic 8 ball, it really is magic you know. And hands off my makeup! And my glitter! And- you know what, leave everything alone!"

Alec, hearing only one side of the conversation, wondered what the hell was going on.

"Meanwhile, my finger turns into a cabbage. We're on our way over, Magnus. I need my fingers. They have oft been described as beautiful, golden sticks of pure-"

"Oh, shut up. Wait, is it really turning into a cabbage?"

Alec started, grabbing for the phone, which happened to be his. "What the hell? Why is my parabatai becoming a vegetable?"

"Okay, it's not a cabbage per se. But it looks weiRd. We were playing rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock and as I said 'Spock!' Izzy said 'Seraph blade!" and now it's gone all-"

"Fine, fine, drag your sorry asses over here. But you'd better bring coffee with you. I'm not at all happy that you interrupted what I was really rather enjoying."

"Later, man."

Magnus clicked Jace off, smirking at Alec's scowl. He looked so ridiculously innocent, yet stupidly sexy in amongst the rumpled yellow sheets, it was like seeing Bambi in a porn tape. Although, Magnus mused, that wouldn't be particularly erotic; baby deer weren't really his thing. Or animals at all in fact, no matter how much Basil Brush's jumpers reminded him of Alec.

Another short chapter, I'm afraid, but one does not simply whip up a decent chapter when faced with such as obscene amount of Chemistry revision.

The first un-translated thing Magnus said was "My German is not good these days, but apparently anything will get you off so fuck it, would you like a history lesson?

The second was "The Social Democrats took power after the Kaiser was forced out of the country, and Ebert became the first president. His party founded the Weimar constitution, oh my god Alec this is surreal, you're getting all sexy over what I learned in a London school room!

So, the plot will get serious again soon, but PLEASE PLEASE tell me if you want a lemon. And any ideas of what you want included in it would be helpful.

Love China xxxxxx

P.S. A million thank yous to Maria Hie who fixed my German. Before it probably said: 'tiny soybean-sized porcelain badgers slid through the galaxy causing death and destruction via flamethrowers and pancreatic juice' or something equally inaccurate.