Chapter 48
The journey to the capital was an exciting one for Luke and Leia, who had loved their time there months earlier. They loved the apartment that their parents had once lived in, for it gave them an excellent view of the entire city.
It was very late when they arrived at 500 Republica, and the children were all quite sleepy. Anakin took Luke and Leia to the guest room and got them to bed while Padmé dealt with the babies. Two bassinets stood in the large master bedroom for Ani and Ami, as well as a change table. It was a bit cramped, but since it was temporary, Anakin and Padmé decided that they could live with it.
"Kids asleep?" Padmé whispered as she and Anakin climbed into bed together.
"I think they fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow," he said with a smile.
"I'm sure," Padmé said with a yawn. "It's nice being here again with our family," she said with a smile. "The place used to feel so much bigger, somehow."
Anakin nodded as he pushed a stray piece of hair out of his wife's face. As tired as he was, he wasn't in a hurry to get to sleep. He'd been having dreams about the night at the temple, and hadn't told his wife about them. He knew that he should, that hiding things from her had lead to disaster years earlier. But Padmé was already stressed enough caring for the new twins. Losing Nelly had made things a lot harder for both of them, so he'd decided to keep it to himself for the time being.
"You know, I went to the doctor yesterday," Padmé told him.
"Everything okay?" Anakin asked.
"Yes," she said. "Just a standard post-natal check up."
"Of course," Anakin said. "Hard to believe it's already been three months since the babies were born."
"Yes, it is," she agreed. She ran a finger down Anakin's face. "She told me that it was okay for us to...you know, resume our physical relations."
Anakin was very tired, but when Padmé told him that, all thought of sleep left his mind. He hadn't made love to his wife in close to four months. He was more than ready. "You don't say?" he said, pulling her to him.
"I do," she said, closing her eyes as Anakin's mouth nuzzled her neck. "Yes," she sighed, "just like that..."
Later that night
Night had fallen as Anakin lead the squadron of shock troops up the enormous staircase. The sound of their boots on the stone reverberated in the still night air. Anakin marched with a dread sense of purpose. The Jedi had betrayed him, the Jedi were evil and must be destroyed. Padmé will be safe if I destroy them, it's the only way she will be safe, he told himself over and over again.
The carnage was bloody as Anakin and his troops swept through the temple like a vengeful spirit, leaving death and despair in their wake. He ignored the pleas for mercy by the children, the cries of fear from the babies...all he knew was killing, all he cared about was death...no one would be spared, no one would be left to tell the story...And then, as he turned to the last corner of the enormous temple, he saw two small padawans trying to hide. He lifted his saber, its blue blade illuminating the faces of the two padawans...it was then that he saw the faces of Luke and Leia...
Anakin awoke with a gasp, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Anakin what is it?" Anakin looked over at his wife, who was awake and looking at him with an expression of concern in her eyes.
"Bad dream," he said, "nothing to worry about."
Padmé frowned. "Don't tell me it's nothing to worry about," she said. "I know you've been having a lot of nightmares lately, even though you've never said anything. Don't shut me out again, Ani. Let me help you."
Anakin knew she was right, he knew that he needed to tell her what he was feeling. But how could he even put into words what the thought of that night made him feel? How could he convent the utter self-loathing and shame that filled him when he remembered the atrocities he'd committed that night?
"I don't mean to shut you out, Padmé," he said, stroking her face gently. "But this is not something you can help me with. I know you want to, but I have to come to terms with that night somehow. I don't know how, to be honest. I don't know that I will ever learn to live with the memories."
Padmé knew what he was referring to: the night of the purge on the temple. That night had given her nightmares too, for she knew that she'd never forget the terror she felt as she watched the temple burn from her home. She'd had no idea if Anakin was even alive. And then later finding out what he had done there had broken her heart...
"I'm sorry," she said. "I know how hard this is for you," she said. "And I wish there was something I could do, something I could say to make it easier for you. But you're right, there isn't. All I can do is be there for you, and love you. And I do love you, Anakin. I hope you know how much."
Her words left Anakin speechless and emotional, and all he could do was pull her into his arms. He held her to him, taking comfort from her warm, loving presence until they both fell asleep once again.
Early the next morning
"Daddy wake up!"
Anakin opened one eye to see Luke standing beside his bed. "Hi Luke," Anakin said.
Luke grinned. "Hi Daddy!" he said. "Can we have breakfast?"
Anakin rolled onto his back. Padmé was already up and changing one of the babies. "Uh...do we have food Padmé?"
"Obi-Wan and Helen are on their way over right now with breakfast," she informed him.
"Right now?" Anakin said. He noted that his wife was already dressed, her hair pinned up neatly. He threw the covers off, then pulled them back on when he remembered that he was naked.
Luke giggled. "Daddy's naked," he said.
Padmé looked over at her shoulder, giving Anakin an amused look.
"Be a good boy and hand me my sleeping pants," Anakin said to his son.
Luke picked them up off of the floor. "Why are they on the floor, Daddy?" Luke asked as he handed the pants to his father.
Padmé was now holding Ami and watching the exchange with amusement.
"Uh, I was hot last night," Anakin said as he pulled the pants on.
"Yes, Daddy was very hot last night," Padmé said with a smirk.
"Ohhh," Luke said. Just then the door chime sounded. "Uncle Obi!" he cried and ran out the door.
Once Luke was out of the room, Padmé burst out laughing. "Very smooth, Ani," she said.
Anakin stood up. "I had to think fast," he said. "Good thing he's too young to understand."
Padmé nodded. "You'd better get dressed," she said. "Obi-Wan and Helen are here."
Anakin nodded. "I'll be right out," he said, giving her and their baby daughter a kiss. "Is Ani still sleeping?"
"No, but he's fine for now," Padmé said, looking into the bassinet. Ani was watching the mobile above his bassinet, his blue eyes wide with amazement.
"Okay, I'll bring him out with me," Anakin said as he headed to the bathroom.
Helen and Obi-Wan brought enough food to feed a small army, much to the delight of Luke and Leia, not to mention their father. They had a wonderful visit as they ate their meal together, getting caught up on one another's lives.
"I was hoping you'd come to the temple with me today," Obi-Wan said to Anakin. "Ahsoka is quite eager to see you again."
Anakin exchanged a look with Padmé. "We're going to see the house today," Anakin said. "Maybe I can come tomorrow."
"What time are you seeing the house?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Noon," Padmé said. "We timed it so that the babies will be asleep. That will hopefully make it easier."
"We could stay with them if you like," Helen offered. "I'm not working today."
"That would be great," Padmé said. "We'll only be gone for an hour or two. They should be asleep for the whole time."
"And if they wake up, it will give Obi-Wan some practice," Anakin said with a smile.
Obi-Wan smiled. He'd sensed Anakin's anxiety when he'd suggested coming to the temple, and it didn't surprise him. But sooner or later you will have to face it, my friend, he thought as they finished their breakfast. You cannot avoid it forever.
Anakin and Padmé, along with Luke and Leia, headed out to see their prospective new house shortly after 11 AM. The Western Sea was quite far from the city, and they had arranged to meet the realtor at the house at noon. Ani and Ami were sleeping peacefully when they left, and Helen assured them numerous times that they would be fine.
"Obi-Wan is quite anxious for me to go to the temple, isn't he?" Anakin said as they flew through the city. Luke and Leia were amazed by the sights, and sat with their noses pressed against the glass of the windows.
"Are you surprised?" Padmé asked. "You know that he is expecting you to rejoin the Order. They all are, I'm sure."
Anakin frowned. "I know," he said. "I won't do it, Padmé. No matter what they say, I won't return to the Jedi. I can't, not after everything I've done."
Padmé nodded, knowing exactly how he felt, but not sure that the decision would be accepted by the new Order.
The house was, in a word, spectacular. Sitting on a huge lot, it was a 6 bedroom luxury home with a heated indoor pool, sauna and steam room, as well as a gymnasium in the lower level. It didn't take Anakin and Padmé long to make their decision, and informed the enormously pleased realtor that they would take it. She had brought the contract with her on a data pad, and so they made the arrangements as they sat at the long breakfast bar while Luke and Leia ran around in the huge empty rooms.
"Congratulations," the realtor said, shaking Anakin's hand and then Padmé's. "I hope you'll be very happy here."
"Thank you," Padmé said. "I'm sure we will be."
As they flew back to the apartment, Anakin and Padmé talked about furniture and household items that they would need.
"What about the furniture on Naboo?" Anakin asked. "Do you want to have that brought here?"
"I'd rather leave it there," she said. "That can be our vacation home, a place for us to go when we visit Naboo."
Anakin nodded. "Good idea," he said. "We will have to get our clothes packed," he pointed out. "Not to mention all the babies stuff, and Luke and Leia's toys."
"Yes," Padmé said. "It will take a few days for us to get the new house furnished. That will give us time to pack."
"Threepio will be busy," Anakin commented with a smirk.
Padmé laughed. "Yes, he will indeed."