Warning this may be a bit more mature than Teen? Not really sure . . .

I was glad that Mush had agreed to be the one to stay back with me, some time was needed to process all that had happened that day. I dozed on and off during the three hours that Kyndall was gone.

When we heard the Brooklyn boys outside splashing in the water, I knew my friend was dying to join them. I suggested he go, but he shook his head no and insisted on telling me a story he had heard from Racetrack.

"One of Medda's dancers is havin' a baby and he heard from good source that the father was one of the other acts in the show."

I waved him off, "It's probably one of the Chinese acrobats she had performing last month."

"Nah, I think it's the midget; that's probably why she ran away. She was scared she's gonna have a baby midget."

I did my best to look towards him and try to make out his face. From what I could tell, he seemed serious, "There hasn't been one in the show for over a year."

He shook his head, his curls flapping in the air, "Yeah there is, I saw him just last week. He's in that duo act with the other guy. He comes out and sits on the big guy's lap and they tell jokes."

"Wait, do ya mean the dummy?"

"Well I think the big guy is the dumb one, the midget seems pretty smart."

I sat up part way dumbfounded and confused, but when I saw his face I realized he really didn't get it, or maybe he needed glasses. I then realized it wasn't worth the argument. I was starting to feel really tired again so I lay back down and closed my eyes.

"Go swim Mush, I'm going to sleep." I heard him slip out the door awhile after, and eventually I drifted off.

I heard him come back in the room a while later with Racetrack and they were joking around.

"Gonna be a party here tonight, they promised some drink. Though why we'se celebratin' that scab takin' over beats me."

"We need Brooklyn beside us; otherwise we look like easy pickins to the others. Do ya think we should wake Blink?" Mush questioned him.

"Don't need to, I'm up already, just listening to you big mouths blathering on."

"If you wasn't hurt I'd pop ya one, Kid! Mush, ya stay with him. I'm going to go wait for the drinks and then I'll come back up so you can get some." Race responded before heading back out the door.

"Why am I always the one left behind?" Mush mumbled as he sat down near me.

It was getting darker in the room as we talked. My back and neck were starting to ache from lying still for so long so I had Mush help me position the pillow on the bed over a blanket so I could sit up a bit more. Mush tried to tell me another story about this one legged prostitute that Race knew down by the tracks, it was so outrageous that if I had been able to roll my eye I would have. We started to hear a commotion coming from down stairs; there were a few hoots and hollers every couple of minutes as more voices joined in.

Mush paused when we heard someone opening the door to the room. I couldn't quite make out the figure; I assumed it was Jack when Mush asked, "You bring food?"

As the person approached I could see that it was too small to be Jack, and I smiled when I heard the voice, "There's whiskey and cigars downstairs." Kyndall was finally back.

I saw Mush jump and run out before a muffled, "You mind if I go for a bit, Kid?"

I waved him off and smiled as I watched Kyndall walk back over towards the door and close it. I was glad to have him back. I reached for the sandwich he offered me and felt him place it in my hand, the closer he got to me the easier it was to make out his features. I tried to sit up closer to him as I took bites of my dinner. It tasted wonderful and I told him so. After a dry comment about Racetracks opinion of the food I turned my head to smile at his joke, but soon regretted it.

The world began spinning and I felt like I wouldn't be able to keep down the few bites I had just eaten. I fought with my arms trying to force them to hold me up, but I soon felt his hands grasping my shoulders to guide me back down to the bed.

I took a moment to breathe and then told him, "I guess my head still ain't ready to sit up." The hunger got the best of me again as I began ripping off pieces to eat lying down. I saw him lift a bottle off the floor and drink from it. It was a dark brown color, though I couldn't yet make out the words on it.

When he told me that he was taking over as the leader of Brooklyn I wasn't surprised. He was smart and strong despite his small size, and I had known the war would take its toll on our numbers; the money was just too tempting to us poor boys.

I saw him lift the bottle to drink again. I heard him swallow a few times and wondered just how much he was downing. I didn't like the drink, especially after watching my mother. Though I had to admit I was curious about its appeal. I tried to force my eye to focus better on his face, but it was difficult to stare for long.

"My eye is doing a bit better, I can see that bottle." I told him.

He froze and seemed nervous when he answered, "Just a bit that we picked up to celebrate." His voice sped up when I nodded; the burning pain of my head against the pillow made me wince. "Ya wanna sip? Might make your head stop hurting. Even Jesus drank wine, ya know."

I could see the logic in his argument, and the concern in his voice made me happy. I decided to give in and try just a sip. "I guess it can't hurt."

I tried to sit up again, but only made it halfway before my head began feeling like it was filled with water, and my brain was swishing back and forth. I felt like I was going to fall over when suddenly his right arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me against him. Kyndall felt steady compared to the ever-moving world in my head, and the heat of his skin was a delightful contrast to the cool breeze coming in off the river. I lifted the bottle he had offered me, my hands trembling as I started to bring it to my lips. I felt his firm grasp take hold of it just below where my own were. I took a swig from the bottle; It tasted pretty bad, and I set it back down. A few moments later I began to feel warm, I wasn't sure if it was the booze or the body of the boy holding me.

I thought of the stern look my father would be giving me if he were here, his face turning red as he saw the bottle and then exploding when he noticed the arm wrapped around me. I laughed at the image in my head and decided to hell with outer darkness and damnation.

I lifted the bottle quickly back to my lips and began chugging until I heard Kyndall saying, "Whoa, careful there, ya might not have a stomach for this stuff." I felt him take the bottle from me and he drank more before putting it on the floor. He was right, my stomach was churning; I felt it was best to lie back down for the moment.

I closed my eye and waited for the swimming in my head to stop. After a few minutes I felt him get off the bed and move across the room. I could hear the boys outside and down stairs, and then the sound of the glass tinkling as he lit the lamp, the room growing brighter. It reminded me of my brother getting up before dawn and lighting the lamp in our small closet of a room before work, and how the room would heat up when he lit the fire in the kitchen. I was starting to feel warmer now; my whole body felt like a thick blanket had been thrown over me. And the swimming in my head felt more like the foam from the ocean; it was a strange feeling.

I took in the fuzzy image of the boy silhouetted by the light. I pictured him stripping down and opening my head to jump in and swim in the watery, fuzzy ocean foam that sloshed around in my head. I started to laugh suddenly, but stopped when he turned to me.

He had a concerned look on his face, and my mind shifted back to my brother Ryan; who despite being kind never liked my jokes. I always felt ashamed to tell Ryan what I was thinking; he always thought I was childish. Not Kyndall though. He may not laugh, but he always smiled when I told him what was racing through my mind.

"You know Kyndall, all the time we were apart, it gave me time to think. You know I missed you more than my family? More than my real brother. It was like you were the brother I was supposed to have. Like we weren't supposed to be apart." I could feel my throat tighten, effectively blocking my voice, and a tear was fighting its way out of my eye. I felt like a fool again and hoped Kyndall wouldn't berate me like Ryan. When he didn't respond, I reached down and grabbed the bottle to take a few more sips.

When he finally walked towards me I stopped and handed the bottle back to him, which I watched him tilt back and finish. He stood there for a minute before sitting on the bed near my knees. I felt his hand wrap around my own as I lay there on my side. I reached over with my left hand to cover his, running my finger along the scrapes that covered his knuckles and feeling the calluses on the edges of his fingers. His grip tightened around my hand and I felt him relax again as I traced the bones and veins on his wrist. His hand was warm.

My body began to feel sluggish. I was starting to feel cold as the breeze began to blow stronger into the room. "I almost miss the Refuge, and the nights we had to huddle together for warmth."

I heard his quiet response and decided I needed that warmth; I needed him to hold me again and keep me warm. I quickly let go of his hand and rolled further onto my right side, shifting so my back was pressed up against the wall the bed was against. I reached up to pull on his shirt until he laid down facing me. I shifted my legs to make room for him in the small space, and I felt my thigh graze something and became worried about where I'd hit him, when I heard a small hissing sound escape his lips. He shifted back, separating from me a bit more, which made me sad for a moment until his head was on the pillow just a few inches from my face. I could see his smile and his eyes looking back at me.

"Much easier to see you now."

His smile grew, but he still seemed tense, like he would jump away from me at any moment. I didn't want him to leave me; I wanted his warmth next to me, to feel his skin against mine. I reached up to touch him, to make sure he knew he was welcome next to me. His cheek was warm under my hand as I stroked it, and as my fingertips grazed his ear I felt them grow hot. His hair was getting longer than most boys kept it and I began to play with the little swirling curl that formed at the side.

As my fingers ran along the nape of his neck his eyes closed part way and a low sound escaped his lips. I felt something jump inside me as he returned my smile. Before I could even think twice about what I was doing I kissed him. I felt his resistance to my intrusion and almost pulled away until he suddenly softened and began kissing me back, gently at first and then with vigor.

I felt like I was in a haze as his arm moved around back and pulled us closer together. I felt raw emotion taking over as I began to form myself to match him. And then I felt it, a firmness pressing against my belly. It took my impaired mind a moment to process what had happened, but then it hit me what I was doing and I froze. I slowly pulled myself away from him a few inches.

I saw the shock and fear in his eyes and immediately regretted my actions. I couldn't think of what to say to him, other than what I felt at that moment, "I really did miss you Kyndall."

He nodded and said, "I missed you too."

When I smiled at him and caressed his cheek again the worry lines on his face softened. I was really tired and my brain was too fuzzy to process any more of what had happened to me, to us. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.