My whole body ached, I was sore from top to bottom, but it was my head that was really killing me. I squinted, trying to keep the light from invading my eyes and adding to the throbbing in my skull. I tried to flex my legs, straightening, then bending them to get the stiffness out. But as soon as I raised my hands to feel my head, I felt someone sit next to me and grasp my hands. "Shhh, don't touch your head Doug, you need to lay still."

Everything seemed to be spinning and the sunlight was just so bright; I tried blinking away the fog that seemed to cover my eye. And that's when I felt it. My stomach was going to explode and I groaned in pain. I did my best to smile at him and not panic. I reached up to feel the bandage around my head and was relieved to find my left eye covered. He tried to explain what was happening but I was too distracted.

The whole time he was talking I sat there literally biting my tongue. I couldn't - I needed to - but I knew I couldn't stand. I bit my lip hard trying to make myself think of something else. Kyndall started rambling on about food, and the very thought of drinking anything made me want to scream. I closed my eye, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

He stood up and started moving, "Sista' Katherine left some medicine, are you hurting? I can get you some, it will only take a second."

"No, no, Kyndall, it's not that. It's just that…" I knew I only had two choices. I could either tell him, or piss myself; of course the latter was far more horrible. "I haven't gotten to use the privy in almost a day, and all that booze we drank…"

"I don't think they would want you standing." He looked away from me suddenly, his face was bright red. It made me feel a little less foolish.

"I don't think I could if I wanted to." I replied, I watched him hobbling across the room with his cane and wondered what had happened. He picked up a bucket and brought back near the bed.

"It ain't a chamber pot, but it will have to do."

I tried rolling towards the edge of the bed, and he reached in and grabbed my legs to help me get my hips nearer to the bucket. I was slightly mortified at the thought of peeing while he held the bucket, but I couldn't wait much longer. I glanced up at him to see if he was still okay with it, "If you can hold the bucket, I think I can like this."

He nodded and looked away as I undid the buttons on my pants and relieved myself. I kept wishing it wasn't taking so long, but I finally breathed a sigh of relief as I buttoned up my pants. Kyndall limped to the foot of the bed, placing the bucket on the floor their. He winced in pain and grabbed the edge of the bed to steady himself. I tried to push myself up off the bed to help, but he sat quickly by my legs and placed his hand on my chest, gently forcing me to lay back.

I had no strength in me to fight him. I allowed myself to be gently pushed back down, and I watched as he came back to sit beside me. I was suddenly starving. I could remember eating the sandwich, but couldn't figure out when that had been. There were foot steps on the stairs, and then the door open and in popped Topper and Jumper. Jumper crossed the room, sitting on the floor in front of Kyndall's bed and layed out the cloth he was carrying. Topper came over to the bed and handed Kyndall a bundle wrapped in news paper. He opened it to reveal some chunks of bread, cheese and even a small piece of sausage.

Kyndall reached down, pulling a knife from his boot, and cut off a slice of meat and cheese. I accepted it with a smile and began taking small bites of it. He slowly took a few bites out of his own, but turned to watch Topper and Jumper. The latter sat between his friend's legs, leaning back against him. When they stopped mid eating and began kissing each other, Kyndall turned bright red, choking on his food a bit. He quickly stood, placed his bread on my chest, and with his cane in one hand and the bucket in the other, excused himself.

I was still mortified to think of what he was carrying; but soon after he left the room, the two in the corner resumed their activities. I lay there in the bed watching them out of the corner of my eye. When Kyndall came back in the room he shut the door hard and they both looked up at him with smirks on their faces.

He took a blanket off the foot of the bed and set it on the floor, gingerly lowering himself down. I saw Jumper watching us intently as Topper lit a smoke. I grasped Kyndall's arm and he turned to look at me. I slid over on the bed a bit more and he stood back up. "It's pretty warm in here" I told him, watching his eyes. I had to bite my lips to keep from smiling as he took his shirt off.

As he turned to hang it over the end of the bed my eyes met Jumper's across the room. He had a big, knowing grin on his face. I watched as he rolled over onto his knees and pressed himself up against Topper, his face buried in the other boy's neck. I had to close my eyes to shut out the thoughts that came pouring into my head. I could feel Kyndall sitting on the bed next to me, and then laying alongside me.

When I opened my eyes again he was watching me intently. I watched his chest move as he steadily breathed in and out. He was very thin, but as he breathed in I could see the tight muscles beneath. I couldn't help myself as I reached out to touch the smooth skin in front of me. His eyes lit up suddenly and as I slowly moved my hand- my fingertips tracing invisible lines across his pale skin- those same eyes became hazy.

He tentatively moved his own hand towards the buttons on my shirt and he fumbled trying undoing them. I felt him run a finger along the hair on my own chest. The sensation sucked me in and found myself grasping at his chest. He lunged forward suddenly, his lips finding my own, and we kissed fiercely for what seemed like ages.

I heard a grunting sound from across the room and pulled away. Kyndall froze in place, breathing loudly. I reached out and placed my hand against his cheek. He looked down at me with panic in his eyes. After a moment his breathing slowed and he tightened his hold on me, pulling me close. I could feel his pulse racing, but lying there wrapped in his arms, skin pressed against skin, we both quickly drifted off to sleep.