20. Would You Consider?

I woke as I felt my arm being shifted. Movement at my side caused the warmth on my body to dissipate. My eyes peeled open to find Sarah sitting on the edge of the bed. "And where do you think you're going?" I asked, rising and pulling her back against me.

I felt her soft laughter ripple across my chest. "I have to get up. Gwen will be arriving back soon," she explained turning to face me.

I swept a strand of errant hair behind her ear then traced my fingers over her cheeks and jaw. I was still in awe of her. To find she had never lost faith in me, had never stopped loving me despite all that had happened, gave me an entirely different and very welcome sense of self-worth. I was no longer the de-humanised Archmage. I was the man Khadgar again and more complete now than I had ever been.

The unavoidable questions however, were needing asked now. "How are we going to broach the subject of my 'return'?" I asked her.

She looked at me for the longest time it seemed. Then smiled. "No dramatics as such, but perhaps a party make it known? Modera and the Kirin Tor already know..."

"What?" I was astounded.

"I discussed it with Illidan once he helped you transform and ..."

I held up my hand to interrupt. Illidan? It was not he who I remembered standing over me in my study and chanting the ancient scripts. I caught the look of concern on her face. I smiled reassurance. "I have a very vague recollection of being in my study during the spell but I do not recall Illidan being there. There was an elf certainly but ..."

Her face brightened. Her fingers traced my brow and down to my mouth. "I will explain later," she said softly.

The sound of a door banging shut and the unmistakable dwarven twang shouting along the hall announced Gwen's arrival. Sarah quickly disengaged herself from my arms. "I must see to Gwen and Ocel."

"Shall I come too?"

"No. I think our friends should all be together when we announce your resurrection. I will invite them to dinner."

"I want to see Ocel."

"Once Gwen leaves, come through and you will hold your son again." She leaned down and kissed me, her lips soft and warm. She finished dressing and left the room, closing the door with a soft click.

I flopped back on the pillows. Smiling to myself, I felt oddly revitalised, as if the entire journey from the Dark Portal had somehow given me a new lease of life. It was either that or down to the last few hours spent holding the woman I loved with every ounce of my being. Either way, I actually appreciated how good it was to be a man again. I had Sarah, and my son Ocel. Supposing there was nothing and no-one else, I realised they were all that truly mattered. I now fully understood my friend's sentiments. Vindicator Ocel and his words of wisdom would forever guide me.

I listened to the chatter coming from the living room. Gwen was her usual buoyant self, always upbeat, enthusiastic about everything. She would be a good influence around my son, there was no mistake there. It could be some time however, before she left, and I knew Sarah would not be rude in asking her to leave before Gwen's customary recount of her walk with Ocel was concluded.

I threw back the covers and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I heard my bones and joints creak as I stretched, but there were no more aches, nor pains.

Catching my reflection in the dressing table mirror I leaned in for a closer look. I smiled. Running a hand over my cheeks and jaw I reaffirmed she had indeed shaved me well. Standing straight I turned from side to side. There was also no mistaking I had shed a few pounds and was almost 'taut' again.

Somewhat pleased by what I saw, I crossed to the wardrobe where I pulled out a pale blue shirt, tan britches and got dressed. I crossed the room to the door. Tucking my shirt into the britches I listened keenly to ascertain where Sarah and Gwen were in the house. The low mumblings suggested they were still along in the living room.

I wanted to go to my study. It was in the opposite direction from where Sarah and Gwen were located, so I estimated I could make it safely along the hall and slip inside without them seeing me. I did not want to scupper plans Sarah had for a dinner evening where everyone would know of my return at the same time.

I actually tiptoed along the hall. Something I hadn't done since I was a child, and I must admit, it felt strangely delightful. Once inside my study, I quietly closed the door, then turned and leaned against it.

I inhaled sharply. Residue of the powerful magic conjured in the room days before, was still present, I could sense it. My whole body could sense it. The hairs on my arms prickled and I watched as goose bumps spread over my skin. To say I was surprised by this discovery was an understatement. I would have thought it should have dissipated by now.

I moved into the centre of the room. As I neared my desk the tingling grew ever so slightly stronger. Glancing at the floor I saw scorch marks. They bore the semblance of runic symbols. I touched the wooden boards. A ripple ran up my arm. I smiled. Yes, this was where I had undergone the transformation.

Connecting with the area hurtled my mind into recall. I saw myself – a raven; distorting; elongating; expanding. I watched as my flesh tore then healed, feathers and skin being absorbed, renewed and pulled apart once more. I declare I felt quite nauseous witnessing my torment.

My eyes moved from the floor and I fixated on Atiesh, the Great Guardian staff which I had inherited from Medivh. It leaned against the book shelves. Something pulled me towards it, some invisible force, no doubt all part of the powerful magic still lingering in the room. As my hand closed around it, again I bore witness to the past.

I saw the purple skinned elf clear as day before me. He was enormous, with a well muscled torso and arms. His hair, long and black, was tied up in a high knot. But his eyes! Never had I seen such intense eyes – amber. They burned like molten lava, oozing power, knowledge, millennia of experience.

The image flickered, rippled. Next I saw Illidan. He turned to the pedestal. On it was the journal I had left behind for Sarah and in which I had stored the Thalassian Secret. He recited the incantations. Crossing the room he collected Atiesh. He returned to the spot in front of me again, but once more it was the amber-eyed elf who stood before me.

I was confused. I could not comprehend what my mind was trying to tell me. I turned round, and there I saw Sarah – just her image. She was distraught shouting at the elf not to use the staff.

I turned again as he pounded it on the floor. Sarah's protests still sounded in my head. Now however, it was Illidan who used the staff in the same way as the elf. Then finally the amber eyes returned again and the elf hit the base of the staff on the floor one last time.

The images vanished. I spun round. Nothing. No-one. Atiesh was still in my hand.

"It was Illidan you saw," Sarah's voice surprised me from behind. She was smiling, approaching me slowly. I gathered from her appearance in the study it meant Gwen had left.

I simply could not form the words I was trying to speak. She reached me and removed Atiesh from my grip, replacing it back against the books. Taking my hands she led me to the desk and sat me down in the chair. She perched her bottom on the edge of the desk and swept her thumbs over my knuckles. "Illidan is not as you remember him, Khadgar. Neither is Arcaena. They have been de-demonised." She laughed lightly. "If there is such a word. He is as he used to be. A night elf sorcerer, very powerful indeed and completely and utterly at your service should you need him."

My face must have said it all, for I was still lost for words. She continued to explain how Illidan had been questioning the point of his own existence once the Burning Legion had been defeated.

When the Void came into being, he felt he once more had purpose. It was foretold he would stand in the light and defeat the enemy.

I nodded as I recalled that from the time we had visited Shattrath, when Sarah had requested the naaru's help in restoring Illidan's spirit from The Twisting Nether to his physical body. They had spoken then of the Void and Illidan's role.

That "light" turned out to be the benign spirits descending from the Twisting Nether, who, with both Illidan and her help were called forth through the power of the naaru. Again I nodded. That, I could recall. An involuntary shudder ran over me as I envisioned her levitating form, surrounded by blinding bright amid all the destruction with the very ground erupting and disappearing around us.

The next revelation made me very humble indeed. Illidan had felt profound guilt in not having reached me in time before the Dark Portal collapsed. He'd blamed himself for my "death". It once more opened the doors of doubt and self-loathing. He decided to step down as Lord of the Illidari. In doing so, he requested of the naaru that they end his existence. With his being immortal, only they had the power to erase him.

I finally found my voice. "But it was not his fault that the portal collapsed or that I was trapped."

"I know," she agreed. "But he thought otherwise. Illidan had been imbued with tremendous power, not only from the skull of Gul'dan and the countless soul essences he's absorbed over the years plus his own infinite power in the manipulation of magic but also from the naaru themselves." She reached forward and stroked my cheek. I nuzzled against her palm. "To have that kind of power Khadgar and yet fail in saving one who had been instrumental in Illidan's own rescue, was too much for him to bear."

She stood up, pulling me with her. We left the study and she led me along the hall. She continued to tell me how Illidan became a night elf again. "I saw his torment, felt it. I think when he aided in my survival after the Twisting Nether, a link was formed between us; like twins I guess. I was visited by the naaru. Incredible is it not, that such celestial beings thought to seek me out? But it was because they thought so highly of you, my love, that they did so. They asked if they could do anything to help. So I told them I suspected Illidan was at an all time low and feared he would approach them with a request to end his time."

We had reached the nursery and there in his crib lay my son. She guided me over to him. He was sound asleep, breathing softly, his legs and arms akimbo, twitching a little in dreams. I ached to hold him, but I knew now I had time, and as he was sleeping I did not wish to disturb him. I turned to Sarah. "Go on, please."

"Remember Tiene?" she asked.

I thought for a moment. "Yes. The little blonde demon hunter from Quel'thalas."

"That's right. She was once married and she loved her husband very dearly. He was killed during the Third War. She knew that once a demon hunter, always a demon hunter even in death. However, for her contribution to the war against the Legion, Illidan absorbed the demon from her, enabling her to do what she wished." Her voice hitched.

I saw tears forming in her eyes. I pulled her to me and held her gently, allowing her time to compose herself. "She wanted to join her husband in the Twisting Nether. By releasing her from her demon, she was able to do so. It was her spirit who inhabited Bernie, the redhead with Drew. And he was host to Camnath, Tiene's husband." I felt her tremble against me. I remembered her telling me the tale of Illidan and Tyrande and how he'd ached from unrequited love – she'd cried at that too. For all her feisty behaviour at times, she was such a hopeless romantic, was my Sarah.

"I didn't know about Tiene or her husband, Sarah. I'm sorry." I continued to hold her close.

I felt her nodding acceptance against my chest. "I caught a glimpse of the man Illidan once was when he met Lhadral and Rishuul." She continued. "The way he reacted to the cat – for a moment it seemed like he was transported to his past, a time perhaps where he was happy and had special memories." She sniffed loudly before progressing. "So, I asked the naaru to do the same for Illidan as he had done for Tiene. I hoped a new chance and an opportunity to live as he once did might help him see he was still highly thought of and in no way to blame for your ... presumed death. As it happens, Arcaena too has been de-demonised so she can be with him, always."

I was lost for words once more. Throughout all her pain, her grieving, she had still found it in her heart to think of what others were going through, namely Illidan and Arcaena. I felt dreadful that he had considered himself responsible for what happened at the Dark Portal, it was something I had not even anticipated. I thought I had planned everything carefully. I was more than thankful that Sarah was able to fill the gaps which I had been incapable of foreseeing.

A small gurgle from the crib made us look at Ocel. He was wide awake, kicking his legs and waving his arms. Sarah pulled back, managing a doting smile. She lifted him and we stood there – mother, father and son, embracing the fact we were reunited. She pressed him to me and I took him from her.

He chortled happily, much to my relief; I had half expected him to cry for some reason. As it turned out, it was I who shed tears. But they merely expressed my joy. I was elated to be holding my son and standing next to my ... partner.

An urge overcame me, and for once I decided to go with it, without stopping to analyse everything. There really was no need – for this. "Sarah," I said, smiling.

"Yes?" She cooed at Ocel, letting him grab on to her finger as I held him in the crook of my arm.

I tried not to laugh, but the memory of the term still tickled me to that day. She looked at me, brow furrowed, utterly bewildered by my sudden and unexpected rise of humour.

I cleared my throat, and waited until I could speak without the mirth ruining the moment. "Would you consider becoming Mrs Khadgar?"